南方公园中文维基
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南方公园中文维基


可恶的人 可恶的人 露出小弟弟/剧本 灌洗器与丹麦人 灌洗器与丹麦人

出场角色[]

  • Gerald Broflovski
  • Kyle Broflovski
  • Sheila Broflovski
  • Eric Cartman
  • Charlotte
  • Denmark Prime Minister
  • Clyde Donovan
  • Randy Marsh
  • Stan Marsh
  • PC Principal
  • Butters Stotch
  • Dildo Shwaggins
  • Kevin Stoley
  • Heidi Turner

剧本[]

露出小弟弟
The camera runs through the mountains.
Narrator
Long ago, in the deep and frozen lands of Scandinavia, there were creatures who wreaked havoc on humanity. [A troll is seen] The Troll. They dwell in rocks, in caves, isolated from civilization. The creatures were ugly, fat and slow-witted, but some could look and behave like human beings. These are the most dangerous. Now, the creatures have returned, this time, a thousand miles across the sea. [Earth is seen as it rotates. It zooms in on America, and an internet troll is seen] Today, the monsters believe they can go undetected, [Different trolls are seen] free to attack and then retreat to the darkness. But in Denmark, we have dealt with the trolls before, and now and now, we shall deal with them... again.
The Broflovski living room. Gerald looks at the note, reading 'I know who you are'. Kyle comes up.
Kyle
Dad, can I talk to you?
Gerald
Sure, Kyle.
Kyle
All the girls at school are really mad. It's like, one guy gets online and says terrible things about girls and it reflects badly on all of us.
Gerald
Uh huh.
Kyle
Everyone's sad, everyone's depressed and nobody knows how to move forward.
Gerald
Good.
Kyle
I guess what I'm saying is, I'm starting to feel a lot of guilt, just for being a boy. How do I not feel that?
Gerald
Sorry Kyle, I have to meet someone. Talk to your mother. [gets off the couch] I love you! [walks away]
Butters' bedroom. Butters Skypes with Charlotte while she is in her room.
Butters
It's been a rough few weeks, Baby. The girls are still mad about being trolled on the school message board, parents are all freaking out about the election and, and I tell you... you are glad to not be living in this country right now.
Charlotte
Butters, I'm sorry, but I told you not to Skype me anymore, right?
Butters
[becomes shocked] But Baby, I love you! I need you! You can't break up with me!
Charlotte
I have to stand with my girlfriends.
Butters
Oh my god, I can't believe they got to you. [starts shouting] Those sneaky snakes in the grass!
Charlotte
Who?!
Butters
Well you know who, the girls in my school! They all broke up with their boyfriends and now they got you to go along with them!
Charlotte
This is a time when women and girls have to stick together.
Butters
So then it's true! You're all snakes in the grass! Every [slams the keyboard] last one of you!
Charlotte
[ends the call]
Butters
Oh Charlotte? [presses on the mouse] Are you there? [presses on the mouse] Honey?
Gerald walks under the Freemont Bridge incognito and meets with Dick. Dick blows a puff of smoke at him.
Gerald
[takes off his sunglasses] I don't know why you are harassing me. I don't even own a computer.
Dick
My name is Dick.
Gerald
Are you with the NSA or Homeland Security?
Dick
No! I'm a colleague.
Gerald
A colleague?
Dick
You probably know me as "Dildo Shwaggins".
Gerald
Dildo Shwaggins from Pussystores.org?!
Dick
We need to talk.
Gerald
You're just a troll?! [turns to his left, raises his arms, and looks up] Oh thank god!
Dick
We're on the same team, Skankhunt.
Gerald
[lowers his hand] Wait, but that means I went "Protocol Zero" for nothing. Oh shit [throws his cup of coffee]!
Dick
What's "Protocol Zero"?
Gerald
[circles around and then sits] Everything's gone! I destroyed my computers, my phone! [looks at Dick] Why couldn't you just say, "I know who you are. I'm a troll too,"? Why do you have to be so fucking cryptic?!
Dick
Us trolls have to be careful. You know that.
Gerald
Look, I'm not really a troll, okay? I just started as a Yelp reviewer and got sick of how everyone's stupid comments sounded. I just like messing with people 'cause it was funny. I got carried away!
Dick
These are really dangerous times, Skankhunt. There are there are things happening in the world and trolls have to come together.
Gerald
For what?
Dick
Someone is trying to wipe us out! Our way of life is in danger.
Gerald
It's not a way of life! I was just doing it for the LOLs.
Dick
That's not true. I've studied your work. You're one of the best trolls I have ever seen.
Gerald
[stands up] No, no! I am done with this crap. I thought my wife was going to find out, [grabs his sunglasses] but that was too spooky. [puts on his sunglasses and walks away].
Dick
Gerald, we need each other. The Danish [raises his arms] are planning something horrible against us.
Gerald
[stops and faces Dick] I'm not one of you, okay? I just need to stop. [tries to climb up the steep dirt, but falls down].
South Park Elementary School Playground. A group of boys come together and form a semi-circle around Kyle.
Kyle
[talks while pacing back and forth] Guys, I've been thinking this over a lot and ... we need to be more active in showing the girls that we respect them. There's a big girl-volleyball game tonight and we should all go and show our support.
Stan
You really think that's gonna make a difference?
Kyle
I do. We need to show the girls that not all boys aren't the same and that we are willing to change. [stops pacing]
Butters
Well why don't you just shut the fuck up, Kyle? [talks while walking] All I've been hearing in a few weeks is how [stops walking]this is our fault, how boys need to change. Well I'm getting pretty sick of it. Everyone else seems to be proud about who they are, but not us; and then we get Uncle Kyle here telling us that the girls are right!
Kyle
Butters?
Butters
[turns towards and points at him] This is a war [walks from Kyle] on all of us. You want to listen to Uncle Kyle, we'll go ahead. Pretty soon [stops walking, and faces Tweek and Craig] they'll be locking us all up. And don't think you're safe either, Tweek and Craig. Just 'cause you're gay does not mean that you aren't looked down upon for being boys! [turns to his left] The world wants us all to feel shame just because we were all born with [points downwards] wieners!
Kyle
Butters, you need to calm down.
Butters
No! [walks towards Kyle] We tried doing it your way, Kyle. We tried doing what the girls wanted us to do and where did it get us?
Clyde
Nowhere.
Butters
[turns around] Right! It turned us against one of our own match, that's what it did! What happened to Eric Cartman is the girl's fault, not ours!
Token
That's true!
Butters
I'm done feeling guilt. I'm a boy, dang nab it! And you know what? I'm proud of my little wiener. Mark my words, the moment is coming when you all need to decide; are you with your kind, [points at Kyle] or are you with Uncle Kyle.
The Broflovski living room. Gerald taps his fingers with boredom on the dinner table. Sheila then checks on her husband.
Sheila
Gerald, you've been sitting at the table for three hours now. You okay?
Gerald
[stops tapping] I'm great! Totally good. Just sitting down and ... doing nothing. Is there a problem with that? Is there a problem with just wanting to sit and just be? Is that illegal now?
Sheila
Not at all, Gerald. I'm sorry.
Gerald
I'm totally happy. I'm happy. I don't need to do anything to make me happy, fuck.
Sheila
Well! I know you said your computer was broken. So, I went ahead and got you something. [takes out iPad from a bag] Here, it's your own iPad.
Gerald
[gets frightened, stands up and tries walking away from Sheila] Ah! Ah ah, ah! No, no! I'm good. Get that away from me.
Sheila
[turns to her husband] You don't like it?
Gerald
No, sorry! I love it! I'm just swearing off electronics for a little bit. [leans closer to the iPad and speaks softer in a harsh tone] Or maybe I can just get on a couple of message boards. [backs away and speaks normally] No, I'm good! I don't need it!
Sheila
Gerald, [walks closer to Gerald] what's going on?
Gerald
Nothing, Sheila. I'm fine. [turns so his body faces the table] I'm just trying to make some changes and less electronics is part of it. I'm sorry, Honey. Everything is okay. Promise.
Sheila
Okay, Gerald. I'll make us some lunch. [walks to the kitchen] Oh uh, did that guy outside talk to you?
Gerald
[faces the front window] What guy outside? [walks towards the window and sees Dick on the other side of the road from his house] What the fuck? [checks on Sheila and then whispers to Dick] Go away, go! [waves his arms sideways] Go! Go away! Go go!
Dick
[shows a note to Gerald that says "WE REALLY HAVE TO TALK", then drops the paper to show the other note saying "IT'S IMPORTANT"]
Gerald
[whispers quickly, closes the blind and curtains of the window, and then walks away]
South Park Elementary gymnasium. A large crowd of people watch the girls volleyball game.
Sports Commentator
Welcome students and parents to tonight's matchup between the South Park Cows and the Bona Festa Demons.
Kyle
Dude, this is awesome! Did you see how many of the boys I've got to come out tonight?!
Stan
Yeah! This is a pretty sweet turnout!
Wendy
[smiles at Stan]
Kyle
This is exactly what we needed. Thank god people listen to me.
Referee
[blows whistle]
Sports Commentator
And now please sit, stand, or kneel for the National Anthem.
National Anthem plays
Butters
[takes off his pants and underwear, pulls his shirt, and raises his fist causing people to be shocked]
Jason
Holy crap, dude. Look at Butters.
other boys gradually start to follow Butters' actions except for adults, Kyle, and Stan
Kyle
Oh [hits his face] no!
South Park.
Gerald
[walks through town depressed and then quickly dodges a bicyclist] Son a bitch! Ahhh! [walks near the Community Center, reads a sign about addiction problems, and checks the group]
South Park Community Center. A group of guys are in a social group hosted by Randy.
Randy
Gerald. Hey come on in. You're not alone, bud. We're all facing the same struggles and trying to do something about it. Anyways please continue, Richard.
Gerald
[sits on the available chair to the right of Randy]
Richard
Well like I was saying, I've been addicted to memberberries for the past two months now.
Randy
It's okay, man. You're not alone.
Richard
It's just, you know, 'membering is more fun than thinking. I want so bad to go back to when things were good. When I was a kid, you know like, the 80s and the 90s, and things made sense.
Randy
And that's how we got here to this very memberberry election.
Gerald
What is this?!
Randy
What have been your struggles with memberberries, Gerald?
Gerald
I, I don't even know what a member--.
Berries
[muffled from Michael's pocket] 'Member the Dagobah? Yeah, I remember the Dagobah. That's where Yoda lives. 'Member Yoda?! Oh, I 'member!
Randy
[coughs] Michael, are there memberberries in your pocket?
Berries
Oh, 'member Corellian Corvette?! I remember Corellian Corvette!
Michael
[sqishes the memberberries] Nope!
Randy
Anyway, Gerald, what has your experience been?
Gerald
I don't even know what memberberries are.
Stephen
Gerald, come on. The first step towards healing is admitting you've got a problem.
Gerald
Yeah. [stands up and points at Stephen] Well you've got a fat pussy, and you should go and fucking kill yourself! [calms down] Sorry, I think I'm in the wrong place. [walks away]
South Park Elementary: Principal's Office. PC Principal talks with Wendy, Bebe, Annie Knitts, and Nichole.
PC Principal
Make no mistake! I want to be very upset. However, as a community, we have all decided that people have the right to protest the National Anthem.
Wendy
They took their wieners out!
PC Principal
[points upwards] Correct! [lowers his arms] But they did so peacefully and without malice towards others.
Wendy
This was an attack on us. This is exactly why we sat out the National Anthem in the first place!
PC Principal
I want you to understand something, ladies. [positions his hands parallel from each other] I am in a PC Pretzel here because if I say [moves his hands to his right] they can't protest even though [moves his hands to the left of him] you protested [moves his hand back towards the middle] and the only difference is that their protest included physical gestures, then I'm body shaming!
Bebe
So you're just gonna let the boys take their wieners out whenever they want?
PC Principal
That's what happens when you sit out the National Anthem.
South Park Elementary: hallways. Stan and Kyle put their stuff in their lockers. While hearing Butters, they face him in shock.
Butters
[speaks through a microphone while rallying a group of boys with their pants pulled out] We walk together in peace! We walk together in peace! We're not poor for feeling ashamed in who we are! We're not gonna feel guilt for the way we were born! Wieners out!
Wieners Out boys (except Butters)
Wieners out!
Butters
Don't let anyone tell you you are somehow nice because you're a boy! Don't let anyone tell you to not think with your wiener, as if your wiener is a bad thing!
Wieners Out boys (except Butters)
Yeah!
Butters
What makes us different makes us beautiful! No more shame, no more doubt, no more bigotry!
Wendy
[runs away from the rally]
Wieners Out boys (except Butters)
Wieners out!
Butters
Don't be an Uncle Kyle! Be proud of who you are!
Stan
[pulls down his pants and joins the rally]
Butters
You are either with us or against us! It's really that simple!
The Broflovski master bedroom. Gerald brushes his teeth when he suddenly hears a flute playing. He checks the window and sees Dick playing on a tree branch.
Gerald
[whispers] Damn it! [waves his arms away from the window] I live here! Stop that! [shuts the curtains and lies on the bed next to Sheila]
Sheila
[stops reading and faces Gerald] You don't have to work tonight?
Gerald
No, nothing!
Sheila
Wow! I don't remember the last time you were able to get in bed the same time as me.
Gerald
Got all caught up with work!
Sheila
Hey, I'm not complaining. [closes her book] It feels good to have you here.
Gerald
[gets off the bed and runs away] I'm going on a run!
South Park. Gerald is going for a run.
Gerald
[gets surprised by the car honking at him] Ah! [raises his fist] Fuck you! ["flips" his index fingers] Fuck you!
The Broflovski master bedroom at 2:43 a.m. Sheila is sleeping.
Gerald
[talks from the master bathroom] Yeah!
Sheila
[fully wakes up]
Gerald
Screw you, Skank! You fat little bitch! Go kill yourself, whore!
Shiela
[gets off bed and walks near the master bathroom].
Gerald
Yeah, fuck you, bitch! Fuck you! [chuckles]
Sheila
Gerald? [opens the door, gets scared of the Gerald's creepy face, screams, and runs away]
Gerald
[lays iPad in the sink and chases Sheila] Oh, sorry, Hun! Sorry!
The Broflovski hallway. Kyle notices Sheila screaming and exits his room.
Kyle
Everyone all right, guys?
Gerald
Everything's fine, Kyle. Go back to bed.
The Broflovski kitchen. Gerald and Sheila sit down on the table to have talk.
Sheila
[wipes her eyes with tissue] One night you, you say all of our computer stuff is broken and you, you hide everything and then you show up with all of this new equipment and now this! Please, tell me what's going on!
Gerald
Nothing is going on!
Sheila
[points at Gerald] You hissed at me! You went [faces to her right, hisses, and then faces back at him].
Gerald
Okay, okay. I'm going to tell you the truth, Sheila. I watch porn on the Internet. I'm sorry. I'll try to stop.
Sheila
But I know you watch porn. You told me you watched porn and I told you that I don't care, Gerald.
Gerald
Oh yeah! But uh, it's uh, but this is different.
Sheila
Why?! Because it's not normal porn?
Gerald
Right!
Sheila
Like something really embarrassing?
Gerald
It's really embarrassing.
Sheila
Tell me!
Gerald
It's... porn! It's... uh, piss! Porn! Piss porn!
Sheila
Piss porn? Like people peeing on each other?
Gerald
[stands up] See?! [walks closer to Sheila] It's so embarrassing! No wonder I hid it, right?! [wipes his forehead] Whew! [moves closer to Sheila] I'm sorry! It's good to get it out in the open though. [walks to bed]
Sheila
Do you want me to pee on you?
Gerald
[stops and turns around] No!
Sheila
You only like watching other women pee?
Gerald
[walks closer to Sheila] Oh no, no! It's not like that.
Sheila
[turns around] Because they're pretty? You have to watch around a video because I'm overweight and old?
Gerald
No! I, I, I want you to! I just couldn't ask.
Sheila
You do, promise? [faces Gerald]
Gerald
[in complete shock] Yes?
The Broflovski master bedroom. Gerald lies on the bed with his top off. Romantic music plays as Sheila walks out of the master bathroom and onto the bed over Gerald's head, while wearing a sex outfit and peeing on him. Gerald gnarls moving his head back and forth.
Sheila
Am I doing it right, Gerald?
Gerald
Yep! [gnarls]
Ike
[watches Gerald and Sheila from the hallway]
Gerald
So hot, I mean [gnarls] warm! [gnarls some more]
Kyle
[walks behind Ike and gets shocked by Gerald and Sheila's actions]
South Park Elementary: hallways. Eric Cartman sits on the stairs sewing a necklace and Kyle approaches him.
Kyle
Hi, Cartman.
Cartman
[looks at Kyle] Hey, Kyle.
Kyle
I'm so sorry, what we did to you. This Internet troll has everyone going crazy. We shouldn't have assumed it was you. We shouldn't have broke all of your stuff.
Cartman
Cool. That's cool.
Kyle
No! I know it's not cool. I know you're figuring out how to get back at us.
Cartman
I saw a vagina, Kyle.
Kyle
What?!
Cartman
I'm not holding a grudge. I'm happier now. I have purpose.
Kyle
You saw who's vagina?
Cartman
My girlfriend's. She stood six feet away and flashed it really fast. But in that instant, you know what I saw? I saw that humankind can colonize Mars. I saw the potential of our species to terraform other planets and reach the infinite.
Kyle
[lays his hand on his forehead] Yeah right, okay. [lowers his hand] I'm being serious, Cartman. Butters needs to be taken down a notch and you're the best at that.
Heidi
[overlaps Kyle's last few words and approaches Eric] Eric, hey! I got us both chocolate milks.
Cartman
[stands up and talks to Heidi] Of course you did 'cause you're amazing. Look at what I made you.
Heidi
The pink and blue one?!
Cartman
That's what my baby wanted.
Heidi
[raises her arms and cheers] Yay, [lowers her arms] put it on me!
Cartman
[puts the necklace on Heidi and faces Kyle] Oh sorry. Heidi, you know Kyle?
Heidi
[faces Kyle] Oh yeah. Hey, Kyle. [talks to Eric while they hold hands] The show's on at five tonight if you want to watch it at your house or my house.
Cartman
Oh either way, we totally can. I, I guess Kyle has something to talk to us something about first, um. [talks to Kyle] Go ahead, Kyle.
Kyle
[in complete shock] The, the school is in trouble and, um our friends are...
Cartman
He said something about us working together to take down Butters.
Heidi
Why? What's going on, Boo?
Cartman
I'm not sure, Boo. [faces Kyle] Could you start from the beginning, Kyle? [faces Heidi] Heidi is amazing at figuring stuff out.
Kyle
[pauses in complete shock]
South Park park. Gerald sits on a bench and starts gnarling after seeing a dog pee on a tree. Dick sits down next to Gerald.
Gerald
It wasn't suppose to be like this. I just thought it was funny making people get wild up. It was just stupid-harmless-lock-room humor, till I made that lady kill herself.
Dick
[sighs] You can't deny who you are, Skankhunt.
Gerald
[speaks softer and faces Dick] Don't call me that here! Why can't you just go away?!
Dick
Because we're all in danger. Didn't you see the video I sent you?
Gerald
No! Don't you get it?! I went "Protocol Zero"! I broke my phone, I delete all my email accounts so that nobody can trace me [faces away from the bench] ever again!
Dick
They will be able to, [faces Gerald] everyone. You need to see this video, Skankhunt. The whole world is about to change.
Sizzler. Kyle sits with Cartman and Heidi next to each other.
Cartman
[talks to Kyle] You want to know what's really going on? I'll tell you what's going on. Even though women have made great gains in the last century, there are still a part of men who aren't comfortable with women having power. It really just comes down to that, and then you have social media which allows men to anonymously say horrific things like "Women aren't funny," even though Heidi's like the funniest person I'be ever met.
Heidi
Shut up.
Cartman
[talks to Heidi] No, it's true. Get over yourself.
Kyle
[starts to get bored]
Heidi
I don't even try to be funny.
Cartman
I know. You don't have to 'cause you're awesome.
Kyle
Cartman, will you just help me mess with Butters to stop his little agroclub from getting any bigger?
Cartman
[talks to Kyle] Like mess with Butters how? [lifts mug] What do you mean "mess with Butters"? [drinks from mug]
Kyle
You know what I mean. Come on! We need the old Cartman back!
Cartman
[gets mad] Oh I see! You have a problem with Heidi.
Heidi
What?
Cartman
You're threatened by her because she actually has interesting things to say and she is funnier than you.
Kyle
That's not true at all!
Cartman
[talks sarcastically] Oh she's not funnier than you, [speaks with anger] or is she just not funny because she's a girl?
Heidi
Babe, stop. I don't think he meant anything by it.
Cartman
[talks to Heidi] Sorry, babe. It just really ruffles my feathers.
Heidi
[talks to Kyle] Look, Kyle, I think it's great you're trying to patch things up with everyone, but the truth is Eric and I are just kind of out of it now.
Cartman
[talks to Kyle] Look, Kyle, we're just out of it now.
Heidi
We gave up social media and the ugliness that goes along with it and we're in a better place.
Cartman
Humans on Mars.
South Park park. Dick and Gerald are sitting together on a bench.
Dick
I'm warning you, Skankhunt, [takes out his laptop and types] this video is really gonna rock your world.
Gerald
[talks softer] Can you please call me "Gerald"?!
Dick
[gives Gerald his laptop] It's very obscure news story from the BBC in England. Hardly anyone has seen it over here. [presses a button and faces away from the bench] This is why we all have to come together, Skank.
Internet video is played.
BBC reporter
Since the dawn of the Internet, message boards and chat rooms have lit up with people who insight and insult for no apparent reason. They're called [picture of guy with an actual troll behind him is shown] trolls, and a controversial company in Denmark is working to make them a thing of the pass. "The days of trolls hiding behind nicknames and message boards are over!" the Danish claim. [Danish music is played] As a new website, [Troll Trace headquarters is shown] Trolltrace.com will soon be up and running. In less than a month, the servers will become active. Anyone can take any troll comment and send it through the Danish service where a real name and real physical address will be attached.
Bedrager
[World spinning with the word "STIMULATION" is shown] Every message, every comment [comment is scan, world stops spinning, and a tracer is shown] ever made by trolls will retroactively be given a tag [troll's true identity is shown] with the author's name, location, and [police barge into the troll's house] whole Internet history.
Gerald
[in complete shock] Fffffuuuuuccckkk!
Dick
I told you.
Interview is shown
BBC reporter
And this is the man who has masterminded it all.
Bedrager
What this will allow people to do is trace back harmful and hateful postings or emails. You see, the troll hides behind a protective layer if you will that Internet enmity provides. We intend to strip them of that protection so that everyone will know who they are.
Gerald wipes his forehead of sweat.
BBC reporter
And what about people who will use this to spy on others who aren't trolls?
Bedrager
Uh, what do you mean?
BBC reporter
Once your servers become active, anyone can trace anything onto the Internet back to whoever wrote it. How do you stop that from happening?
Bedrager
Oh oh, right. [coughs and faces the camera] This service is only for tracing the identity of trolls. Thank you. Kom ud trold, komme ud og dø.
The video ends.
Dick
I Google Translated the last part. He said "Come out troll, come out and die".
Gerald
This can't be happening.
Dick
By next week, everything everyone has ever done online is going to be available to the public.
Gerald
[closes laptop] Then it's over. I'm dead.
Dick
[faces Gerald] You're not dead, Skankhunt. There's still hope.
South Park Elementary cafeteria.
Kyle
[shouts] Everyone, can I have your attention please?! [everyone has his attention] I know the past few weeks have been very difficult, for all of us. I know now more than ever that something has to change. I thought a lot about this the past few days. I've seen a lot of things I never thought I would have see. These are all complex issues we're all having to face, and now that I know that after you break it down, there's really only one answer. [pulls off his pants, holds his shirt, and raises his arm]
The girls get upset
Boys
Yeah! [one of them says "That's right." as they all gradually pull off their pants]
Butters
Good for you, Uncle Kyle!
Some of the girls leave while some of the boys lift Kyle up.
Secret room. Dick drags Gerald who is wearing a bandana over his eyes.
Dick
[takes off the bandana and crumples it in his shirt] Fellow trolls, let me introduce you to Skankhunt42.
Ten other trolls are seen in the meeting.
Gerald
I'm not necessarily Skankhunt42.
Troll #1
It's okay, Skank. You're with your kind.
Gerald is in shock and Dick closes the door of the room.
露出小弟弟 结束
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