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Cast编辑

Script编辑

陶俑与海洛因
A children's party, day, "Happy Birthday, Marcus!". As the kids have a blast, a parent walks up on stage. which has an electric guitar off to one side. Butters swings at a piñata blindfolded. Wendy and Nelly jump around in the bounce house.
Marcus' Dad
Okay, okay, can everyone hear me? [taps on the mic to make sure it works] Hello? [the kids quiet down a bit] Thanks, everyone, for helping us celebrate Marcus' birthday. [the kids clap for him] As a special birthday surprise for you, Marcus, we got you your favorite entertainer. Everyone, please welcome Chuck E. Cheese. [A Chuck E. Cheese mascot stumbles onto the stage]
Chuck E. Cheese
Hey. [hits his snout on the mic] Check.
Marcus
[laughs as the other kids cheer] Yes. Yehehehehes.
Chuck E. Cheese
[hits his snout on the mic again, pics up a guitar, and begins to play it as he sings] I ah thanks... for'm celeb... Marcus's birthday.
Marcus' Mom
What's wrong with him?
Marcus' Dad
Can't you tell? He's high on painkillers!
Chuck
[stumbles some more and mumbles] Hold on. [strums] Shit. Okay, let's.... do this... [Strums] Never meant to cause you any so- [barfs on stage, falls forward onto the ground in front of the stage and dies. Marcus screams]
Marcus' front lawn, later. The kids and Marcus' dad look on as Chuck is loaded onto the gurney and put into the ambulance.
Marcus' Dad
All right, kids, uh, why don't we head back to the party and cut the cake?
Marcus
I don't want cake! Who's gonna eat cake at a time like this?! [wails. A paramedic closes the back doors of the ambulance as a police officer stands watch]
Officer Stevens
Another drug overdose?
Johnson
[the paramedic, hands the officer two medications] Most likely. Percolate and Oxycontin found wrapped in his cheesecloth.
Officer Stevens
Prescription drugs, but with no prescription.
Johnson
You guys know where all these illegal meds are coming from?
Officer Stevens
Most likely from the prisons. Whenever there's a drug epidemic you can usually trace it back to people who've been... thrown away by society and forgotten about.
Shady Acres Retirement Community, day. A rap song plays - "Stress" by Continental Five.

All day I sat in my cell
Just stressin', sittin' back, readin' my mail
Reminiscin' about the good times I had
Tryin' to relive all the good memories I have
Hate the sound it makes when they close the gates
Wake up at 6 to eat
Nasty cornflakes -

The residents look sad and bored. A couple of elderly men play poker. A line of elderly people move along as the cooks serve up their meals in a cafeteria line - one man tries to scoop some mashed potatoes from another man's tray, the other man swats the first man's spoon away. Another elderly man puts the finishing touches on a Hummel tattoo on another man's arm. The front door opens and Stan enters with a present.

Vicky
[receptionist] Can I help you?
Stan
Yeah, I'm here to visit my grandpa?
Vicky
[puts her hand over her heart] Oh, how nice of you. All right, arms in the air. [two burly men approach Stan. One, Tony, takes the present and hands it to Vicky, the other, Toby, wands Stan. Vicky opens the package] What's the present?
Stan
It's just some Hummels.
Vicky
More Hummels? Why are senior citizens so infatuated with these little German statues? All right, go on, you got ten minutes. [Tony hands the present back to Stan, who goes on in]
The rap picks up where it left off.

- they call you in the mornin' and you gotta get up
Play dice. Old-timers gonna teach you 'bout life.
Get religious, start readin' 'bout Christ.
Pray to God. Feels like I'm livin' in Hell
But I'm stuck in a cell.

Stan walks down the hallway, passing elderly people standing in the doorways to their rooms until he reaches Marvin's room, then enters it.

Stan
Grandpa?
Marvin
[looking out the window, turns to see him] Billy! [turns around and wheels towards him] Finally you're here to visit. Did you bring Grandpa a present?
Stan
[gives Marvin the present] Yeah, I got what you wanted. [Marvin wheels away to his desk, where he opens the present.]
Marvin
Awww, Merry Wanderer [The Hummel with yellow umbrella and bowler hat] and Happy Traveler? [The Hummel with bindle and feather in its cap] These Hummels suck!
Stan
That's what the guy gave me.
Marvin
It's okay, Billy. I'm just gonna need you to deliver another one of Ms. McGullicutty's crochet pillows.
Stan
Aw, come on, Grandpa. Isn't it enough I come to visit?
Marvin
You don't understand how it works in here. Ms. McGullicutty is top bitch. You do what she says, or you pay the price.
Another rap song plays - "Brick in Yo' Face" by Stitches.

Now whatcha gonna do with it?
Now whatcha gonna do with it?
Now whatcha gonna do with it?
Better have my money when I come to collect. (when I come to collect, when I come to collect)
Better have my money when I come to collect. (Pay up, pay up, pay up)
I put that brick in yo' face {Say what?}
Now whatcha gonna do with it?
Now whatcha gonna do with it?
Now whatcha gonna do with it?

Ms. McGullicutty walks down the hallway with two other women. The other residents cower in fear as the three women pass their doors.

Elderly Man 1
Oh, please, uh I don't want no trouble. [the three women enter his room] I'm sorry. I'll get better Hummels.
Downtown South Park, day. Stan waits at a corner with the crochet pillow. A car passes by. Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny walk up behind him.
Kyle
Dude, Stan. Come on, dude, we're gonna go set off fireworks at Kenny's house.
Stan
I will. I just gotta do this for my grandpa first.
Cartman
Again? Dude, how many crappy crochet pillows do you have to give out for him?
Stan
I don't know. It's what he wants. I feel bad for him, all right? I think he's miserable.
Cartman
He's old. He's supposed to be miserable.
Stan
Look, I just gotta make this exchange for him and then we can go. Oh, oh, I think this is her now. [a red fox with blue gloves and mask prances over]
Swiper
Are you Stan Marsh? It's me, Swiper.
Stan
Cool. Do you have the Hummel?
Swiper
[looks around, then reaches into her tote bag and pulls one out] This is it. Ride Into Christmas, Limited Edition. Now give me the pillow. I have to get to a birthday party.
Stan
'Kay, fine. [makes the exchange, and Swiper shakes the pillow until she's satisfied]
Swiper
All right, peace. [prances away]
Kyle
Dude, that's really weird.
Stan
Old people love Hummels, dude.
South Park Elementary, cafeteria. Marcus, standing next to a projector screen, addresses everyone in the cafeteria.
Marcus
Students, faculty, and staff, today we are facing an epidemic of catastrophic proportions. I know I am not alone in mourning the loss of one of our greatest entertainers, [click. A picture comes up on the projector screen] Chuck E. Cheese. Had we known the personal hell he was going through, perhaps we could've helped. But toooo many were more than eager to supply Chuck E. with the opioids that caused his untimely death. Chuck E. was not the first entertainer to die from this epidemic. Let us not forget Dinkie Dook the Clown [shown with an accordion], dead of a Roxanol overdose at Tommy Schneider's bar mitzvah last March. Shimmer and Shine [two genies], who both collapsed from massive amounts of oxycodone at Nelly Anderson's birthday party. Spider-man, cut down in prime by Demerol, and just recently, Swiper the Fox. dead of multiple opioids found in his crochet pillow. How many more entertainers must we lose before we take action?! It is time to declare war on opioids in our society! [the kids cheer and clap as Stan Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny are shocked at what they just heard]
The boys' bathroom, later. Stan runs in, quickly followed by Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny.
Cartman
Dude, what the fuck, Stan?!
Stan
I don't know, all right?!
Kyle
You didn't know you were slinging drugs for your grandpa?
Stan
It didn't occur to me as a possibility.
Cartman
Dude, did you hear everyone in school?! They're coming after you! You killed Swiper the Fox, and we were standing there with you! You gotta tell people we had no idea what was going on!
Stan
I had no idea what was going on!
Butters
[walks in and goes to the urinal] Hey fellas! [smiles and looks at them, then turns around and drops his pants and briefs, then lifts up his shirt and pees in the urinal] Boy, that Marcus kid is on the warpath, huh? Well, he's really motivated. I mean, screw that kid, but I guess it's good somebody's finally doing something about these goddamn drug dealers. [Butters finishes, flushes the urinal, zips up, and turns towards the other boys and looks at them again, smiling] Well, see ya, fellas. [turns left and walks out. The other boys haven't moved an inch the whole time he was there]
Cartman
Our only way out is to go to the police right now and turn Stan's grandpa in!
Stan
No, we don't have to do that! Let me talk to him. I can put a stop to this.
The retirement home, day. Stan is visiting Marvin again. They're eating lunch together.
Stan
[whispering] Grandpa, what the hell have you gotten me into?!
Marvin
[whispering] Shhh, quiet. They'll hear you!
Stan
There were drugs in the crochet pillow, weren't there?! Do you know people are dying?!
Marvin
What do you want me to do, Billy? You see Ms. McGullicutty over there? [she's shown tripping a man as he walks to a table with his lunch and chuckling to herself] Whoever has the best Hummel collection is top bitch in this place, and she's got the best. She's ruthless, and she has those old lady farts. You know old lady farts, right? Where they're so loose they don't even acknowledge they happened?
Ms. McGullicutty
Oh, hello Mr. Marsh. [pfffft]
Marvin
Oh, Ms. McGullicutty. How are you feeling today?
Ms. McGullicutty
I'm doing very well. [turns her back to him and farts again] Have they given you Percocet for that knee of yours? [pfffft]
Marvin
Oh, yeah, here, I I just got it, huh. Here you go. [hands her the Percocet]
Ms. McGullicutty
Oh, you'd almost think you were trying to keep them from me. [pfffft]
Stan
Oh, uh, ma'am? My grandpa actually really needs those drugs. He's in a lot of pain.
Ms. McGullicutty
Ohhh, and who's this little rascal? [walks around to Stan's chair and looks over his shoulder]
Marvin
That's my grandson, uh he he's worthless.
Ms. McGullicutty
How sweet. [pfffft] Hmmm, coming to visit your old poppa in the joint, huh? You love your poppa, don't you? [pfffft. Stan winces] You'd hate to see him suffer even more he already is. [slow, soft pfffft. Stan avoids looking at her and winces again. Now she addresses Marvin] You watch your ass, Marsh, or I'll have you sent to the quiet room. [pfffft. She turns right and walks away, hitting a man with her can on the way out]
Stan
What, what is she talking about? What's the quiet room?
Marvin
I told you, she has all the pull in here. You go against what she says, you end up in solitaire.
The solitaire room, moments later. Toby and Tony bring in one of the residents to the solitaire table and sit him down.
Mr. Standish
No! No, please, uh I didn't do anything!
Tony
It's all right, Mr. Standish, you just need a little quiet time.
Mr. Standish
Uh, I don't even know how to play solitaire. Please! [they lock him up and leave]
The Park County Coroner's office, day. Marcus approaches and enters the lobby.
Marcus
I understand that today they are performing Chuck E. Cheese's autopsy?
Receptionist
Oh, the kids' party performer. Yeah.
Marcus
As a concerned member of the public, I wish to be present.
Receptionist
Uh, sorry, children aren't really allowed in autopsies.
Marcus
Then I shall wait here to learn the coroner's findings.
The forensics lab, moments later. Chuck E. Cheese is on a bed covered in a sheet. A police officer stands by the entrance.
Coroner
Toxicology reports show subject had massive amounts of opioids in system at time of death. Now proceeding. [he and his assistant pull the sheet off and the coroner begins to saw the performer's mask off. The officer begins to feel sick. The mask is finally removed, and the officer vomits]
The lobby, moments later. The coroner enters with a bag of trash.
Coroner
Have these put in the garbage.
Marcus
What did you find, coroner?
Coroner
Who is this?
Marcus
There is an epidemic in our community, sir. Some of us actually care to confront the problem! Now, dammit, what did you find?
Coroner
Nothing out of the ordinary. The subject died of a simple overdose. We found nothing else except for two Hummmels in the subject's rectal cavity.
Marcus
Hummels? In his rectal cavity, you say? And you do not find this out of the ordinary?
Coroner
Not at all. We found Hummels in nearly all the birthday entertainers' anal cavities. It's very common in our overdose victims.
Marcus
Mmmm, a bit too common, don't you think?
The Marsh house, dinner. The family is eating dinner. Shelly just looks at her food, lost in thought.
Stan
Guys, why does Grandpa have to be in a nursing home? Can't he live with us again?
Randy
Stan, Grandpas has a lot of needs that we can't provide him here. He needs professional supervision.
Stan
Is that really it? Because I, I just feel like we kind of threw Grandpa away and forgot about him.
Randy
Oh really? Do you have any idea how much money we pay to have Grandpa in that place? Your grandpa is stylin'! Can you imagine being able to just sit around all day and not have to do anything but eat and watch TV?
Stan
Yeah. I'd probably go crazy and wanna kill myself.
Randy
Jesus, Stan! It's not like he's in jail!
Stan
Yeah, it's kind of like jail. You should go visit him.
Randy
I can't! I'm too busy busting my ass to pay the bills for that place, and to pay for your guitar lessons!
Stan
I don't have guitar lessons.
Randy
I don't want to go there. It's depressing. Aw you tricked me.
Stan
[his phone rings and he answers] Hello?
Kyle
[at the downtown corner with Butters] Dude! Did you give Butters a crochet pillow to drop off?!
Stan
[quickly leaves the table] Dude, I don't have a choice. I have to get the Hummels for my grandpa.
Kyle
Well, you need to get Hummels without making Butters a drug dealer!
Butters
Drug dealer??
Stan
All right, all right! I think I know another way.
Shady Acres Retirement Community, day. A different rap song plays - "They Got Me Locked Up In Here" by Killer Mike. As it does, the folllowing happens. Toby wheels a man down the hallway, then changes a woman's bed pan. A cook serves up mashed potatoes to a resident and spills some of it outside his tray. A doctor gives a resident some pills, and that resident turns and gives them to Ms. McGullicutty. Other residents line up and do the same. Ms. McGullicutty and her two friends sew the meds into crochet pillows and pass them out to the residents. A resident gives one to her granddaughter, who takes it. An elderly man is working out with small barbells. A resident is in his room looking at his small Hummel collection. The fake plant and mini waterfall are shown. The doctor returns to give another resident five medications. The resident who gave her pillow to her granddaughter says goodbye to her and her parents, then goes back inside with Nurse Lisa. Ms. McGullicutty adds more Hummels to her display case. Stan is at the toy store buying more Hummels. Stan is shown watching the Hummel Shopping Network and purchasing more Hummels over the phone as his friends watch from the sofa. Tony and Toby process Stan again and send him in. Stan gives Marvin a new Hummel. Ms. McGullicutty walks down the hallway with her friends again. Next, Marisol goes over the October activities with the residents. Next the residents go on a tour bus. Next, a kids choir sings for them. Next, canasta is shown. Next, a family says bye to their grandpa and leave. A female resident is wheeled into the hospice section of the retirement community.

They got me locked up in here.
They got me locked up in here. And I'm sittin' doin' hard time.
Pissin' in a metal bowl, eat shit from a lunch line
(They got me locked up) And here nobody knows you by your name.
You're just a number livin' under bitch-ass rules of a broken game.
They put me here to die, left me angry and alone.
For the crime of bein' old they threw me in this nursin' home.
They got me locked up in here. Rottin' in my cell
They got me- Fake plants and waterfalls, it's a livin' hell.
They got me locked up in here. So they can throw away their troubles.
They got me- All that I have now are my little German
Hummels! Hummels! Hummels! Hummels!
They got me- Brand new bitch was just admitted next do'.
Hot piece of ass 'cause she's only eighty fo'.
Next bingo night I'll pound that pussy black and blue.
As long as I can get her before Tommy's grandpa do.
They got me- Man I can't handle these old people activities.
Tour group on a bus. Children come to sing to us.
3 pm canasta, they put me out to pasture.
Death row? stop this! I think they call it Hospice
Hospice, hospice, hospice.

Delivery Man
Hey, we have this week's delivery of medications.
Vicky
Bring them in. [the delivery man goes outside and motions for a truck driver to back up and dump the medications. The truck backs up and dumps the meds onto the asphalt at the community's entrance, then rolls away. Stan has walked up to the community entrance and watches the truck leave]
South Park Elementary, day. Stan is at his locker getting his books. He closes is and finds Marcus looking at him.
Stan
Ah!
Marcus
Hello, Mr. Marsh.
Stan
Uh hey, hey Marcus.
Marcus
I understand you've become quite the Hummel collector lately. What's the... fascination with Hummels?
Stan
Nothing. I-look, I, I just really like Hummels, okay? I'm just, I'm really into Hummels.
Marcus
Ah! I see. So then you should be able to tell me what this Hummel is called!
Stan
That, that's uh...
Marcus
Come on! If you're a Hummel expert, then you should know its name!
Stan
That, it's, it's "Whistling In The Rain."
Marcus
Wrong! It's called "Stormy Weather!" Do you know where it was found?
Stan
No.
Marcus
It was found deep in the anus of one Chuck E. Cheese, the renowned entertainer beloved by millions! If you know something about the epidemic that is killing artists, you'd better cough it up!
Stan
Marcus, trust me. You don't wanna get involved.
Marcus
I became involved when Chuck E. Cheese collapsed like a rag doll before my very eyes! If you had any involvement, I will bring you down!
Shady Acres, day. Randy and Sharon visit Marvin. Seems they've been silent for a while.
Randy
Well, it's really great seeing you, Dad. Guess we oughtta hit the road soon.
Marvin
You finally come to visit and leave after 10 minutes?
Randy
Aw Jesus, now we know where Stan gets his guilt trips from!
Mrs. McGullicutty
[appears at Marvin's door] Mmmm [Marvin looks over his shoulder], it seems somebody's been a little naughty lately. [pfffft]
Marvin
[turns a bit to see her] Oh, Ms. McGullicutty, heh heh. How are you?
Mrs. McGullicutty
[walks over to Marvin's meager Hummel collection] Hrrmm. My, what a lovely Hummel collection you're starting to amass. [sniffs] Almost smells [pfffft]... brand new, doesn't it? [pfft. She turns to face Marvin] Like it was purchased right from the factory. [pfffft] Ooooo! And who are these lovely people? [walks up to Randy and Sharon] Family that came to visit, no doubt? [pfft]
Randy
[holding his breath] Yes. Yeah, we love coming here.
Mrs. McGullicutty
Ah, family. I remember when I was a little girl. [pfffft] My brother used to play such tricks on me. [pfft-pfft] Tried to fool me. Tried to get out from his responsibilities. [pfffft]
Marvin
I'm giving you Hummels. What's it matter where they came from? [Mrs. McGullicutty farts again]
Mrs. McGullicutty
[chuckles] Nooo, [Randy covers his nose] it doesn't matter to me. But it matters to them. [pfffft] The big guys. You see, what they want is more people who are addicted to crochet pillows. [pfffft] Got it? [pfffft. She makes her way towards the door] Nice to meet you fine folks. [pfffft]
Randy
Wugh. [whispers to Sharon] We're never visiting here again.
Kyle's house. Cartman and Butters are playing a video game as Kyle and Kenny watch. Butters reacts as if he's a goner.
Cartman
Ohooo, you're dead Butters.
Butters
Haw Jeez.
Stan
[runs in] Guys! Guys, I need your help.
Cartman
If it has to do with your heroin operation, count us out.
Stan
I just talked to my grandpa. There's more at work here than just old people pushing pills.
Kyle
Stan, we told you we don't wanna be involved.
Stan
[stands in front of the TV] The head bitch of the nursing home is gonna take my grandpa down. Maybe my whole family.
Butters
[trying to see the game] Get out of the way, dude!
Stan
But I know what to do! Whoever has the best Hummels controls the nursing home. We've gotta steal this lady's Hummel collection and give it to my grandpa!
Cartman
[walks up to Stan] Dude, Stan, even if we wanted to help you, which we don't, there's no way we can sneak into an old folks home, distract all the old people, and take an old lady's Hummels! [turns to the left with a thought and walks off] Oh wait, there totally is a way we could do that.
Stan
[catches up] Yeah? What ih, what is it, Cartman.
Kyle
Dude, we're not getting involved!
Stan
Cartman, if you have an idea, please tell me. I need you.
Cartman
I know how to distract old people.
Kyle
Haww shit!
Marcus's house, living room. A cordless phone rings, and Marcus answers it.
Marcus
Yes?
Annie
We're at Mimi Thompson's party. Peppa Pig just collapsed on stage. [it's Mimi's 10th birthday]
Marcus
Oh my God! Don't let anyone near Peppa Pig until I arrive! [leaves the house. Soon he's at the party] Move aside! Let me through! [reaches the stage and kneels next to Peppa] Aw Peppa. Peppa, can you hear me? [Peppa moans] My name is Marcus Preston. Can you understand me? Where did you get the drugs, Peppa? Was it from Stan Marsh?
Peppa
[a black man in costume] Yo man, whatchoo talkin' about? Get me a fuckin' ambulance!
Marcus
[tearing up] Shh, Peppa. Focus. Soon you'll be in heaven jumping in all the puddles you can imagine. But first, you must tell me, where do the Hummels go, Peppa?
Ambulance lady
All right, let us through. Get away, kids.
Marcus
Peppa, now! Why Hummels?! You've got to squeal!
Peppa
Old people. Old people... love... Hummels. [groans a couple more times and dies]
Marcus
It's okay, she's with Chuck E. Cheese now.
Shady Acres, day. The front doors open. Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, and Butters enter as a barbershop quartet.
Vicky
Can I help you?
Cartman
Oh yes, hello. We are adorable children here to entertain old people.
Vicky
Didn't think we had anyone scheduled tonight. Are you with the Protestant youth group?
Cartman
Yes that's right, we are young prostitutes here to volunteer however we can.
Vicky
Fine. Round them up, we got another kids choir!
The hallway. Toby walks down it and announces.
Toby
Come on, let's go. Children's choir in the commons.
Residents
[amid groans] Aw dammit. Shit.
Toby
Darlin' children are gonna sing for you! Move your asses!
Elderly Man 2
Aw, not again.
The commons, later. The boys are on stage.
Cartman
All right, seniors. How are we feeling tonight? Our youth group has come to lift your spirits with some songs to take you down memory lane. We hope you can enjoy some nice old-people music. [blows into a pitch pipe to determine a scale to sing in]
Cartman

I'm... insane in the membrane.

The Boys

Insane in the membrane.

Butters

Insane in the brain

The Boys

Crazy insane, got no brain.

Cartman

In the membrane.

The hallway. Stan looks at every name on the residents' doors to find Mrs. McGullicutty's room.
The commons. The boys move on to their next song.
Cartman

Myyyy milkshake brings all the boys

The Boys

to the yard, and they're like [Butters sticks his finger into his mouth and pops it out] it's better than yours.

Cartman

Damn right!

The Boys

[Butters sticks his finger into his mouth and pops it out] it's better than yours.

Cartman

My hot milkshake.

And now here's our own take on that oldie, but goodie by Nirvana.
The Boys

In the cool, cool winter.

Cartman

Rape me.

The Boys

In the hot hot summertime.
Rape me, my friend.

Elderly Man 3
You suck!
Cartman
Hey hey! We are adorable children trying to bring sunshine into your lives!
Elderly Man 3
[gives Cartman the bird] Fuck you!
Cartman
Fuck you! [picks a different note]

If you

The Boys

Want to call me baby

Cartman

Just go ahead now-

Mrs. McGullicutty's room, in the dark. Stan is now inside. He looks around and stumbles across the bed pan. He's a bit startled, but soon sees the display case, lit up inside. He gets a hair clip out and picks the display case's lock. The lock opens and he opens the display case doors. He stuffs his bag with every Hummel in the case. The door swings open slowly, and Marcus walks in on him.
Marcus
Hello, Mr. Marsh!
Stan
Marcus.
Marcus
[turns on the light] I told you I'd bring you down. [quickly takes out his phone and takes a picture]
Stan
Marcus, it's not what you think. I'm trying to make things better here. [he and Marcus begin to walk around each other slowly]
Marcus
Oh, I bet you are! You, your grandpa, ALL the people here, are going to jail! I'm calling the police!
Stan
You can put an end to this place, but you won't be stopping the problem. These people are victims too, Marcus. Victims of a way bigger game being played by way bigger people!
Marcus
[turns his back to Stan] Oh, you're a fine one for speeches! When it comes to saving your own ass!
Stan
It's not for me, Marcus. Look, I know you loved Chuck E. Cheese. [Marcus stops dialing] I know you'd do anything to bring down the people who took him from you. [Marcus begins to soften and soon gets emotional] That's why you have to go further, Marcus. Take it to the people who profited from Chuck E.'s addiction.
Marcus
[turns around, sobbing] He was just a mouse... who wanted to make people happy. [walks up to Stan, and they hug each other]
Stan
I know. I know.
The commons. The boys move on to their next song. Kyle provides a bass beat.
The Boys

No time to search the world around
When I come around. When I come around.

Cartman

I come around.

[the residents begin to leave one by one]
Butters
Hey, where are ya'll goin'?
Mrs. McGullicutty
Back to our rooms. You kids are absolutely awful. [pfffft]
The hallway. The residents go to their rooms.
Mrs. McGullicutty
[notices her door already open] What the? [pfft] Someone is in my room! [pfffft. She goes in with her two friends]
Mrs. McGullicutty's room. She gasps, then farts.
Mrs. McGullicutty
Whaaaat?! [pfffft]
Marvin Marsh's room. He rolls in and finds Stan there.
Marvin
Billy. What are you doin' here?
Stan
[moves to his right] Surprise, Grandpa. [a bag appears where Stan stood just moments ago] I got what you needed.
Marvin
Heh. [rolls forward] Billy, Mrs. McGullicutty's Hummel collection. You got it for me.
Stan
Yeah, Grandpa. Now you can put a stop to all this, right?
Marvin
Yeah. I just might be able to.
The hallway. Ms. McGullicutty and her friends rush down the hallway.
Marvin Marsh's room. Marvin rises from his wheelchair.
Stan
What are you doing, Grandpa?
Marvin
I told you, Billy. These Hummels hold a special power with old people.
Mrs. McGullicutty
[enters with her friends] You! [pfffft]
Marvin
[to Stan] Go on, get out of here.
Mrs. McGullicutty
You really thought stealing my Hummels would make you the head bitch in this place?! [pfffft]
Marvin
Yeah. I think it will. [swings the bag around and gives her a bloody nose]
Mrs. McGullicutty
Aaah! [Marvin swings the bag around and takes out Mrs. McGullicutty's friends, he keeps swinging at them as they escape his room. The other residents look out of their rooms and cheer him on. He swings at Mrs. McGullicutty all the way down the hallway until she stops moving. The boys arrive]
Marvin
[turns and looks at the boys, and smiles] Now you know how we do shit in the nursing home.
Cartman
...That's pretty sweet.
South Park, dawn. The sun comes up over town.
Shady Acres. Tony and Toby escort Ms. McGullicutty away from the Senior Cafe.
Mrs. McGullicutty
You get your paws off of me, young man! [pfffft]
Tony
There there, Ms. McGullicutty. Everything's gonna be all right. [they take her to solitaire]
Mrs. McGullicutty
No! [pfffft] Not solitaire! [pfffft] I won't play it! You can't make me! [pffpffft. Tony and Toby put her inside and lock the door. Stan and Marvin watch from the Senior Cafe]
Stan
Congratulations on becoming head bitch, Grandpa.
Marvin
Thank you, Billy. Now if we could only take down the real douchebags who profit from all this.
Stan
Ahhh, don't worry. I have a feeling that's about to happen.
Pebble Beach Hotel and Resort, Florida, day. There's a doctors' seminar there for U.S. Pharmaceuticals. Inside, jazz music place and conversations fill the air. The doors open, Marcus enters, and the music stops playing.
Marcus
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Marcus Preston. I have... some questions.

陶俑与海洛因 结束
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