It is a joyous time for all Canadians as the royal wedding commences. But just as the Prince and Princess are about to be joined for all eternity, the princess is abducted! All Canadians are called upon to help save the princess. Ike answers the call to arms.
At the school, Mr. Mackey is preparing a production with the kindergartners on the dangers of tooth decay. However, when it is time for "Tooth Decay" to come on stage, he is nowhere to be seen - apparently the actor is at home watching the Royal Wedding on the TV. Mr. Mackey wonders who could care about the Royal Family of Canada so much.
Ike is enjoying the program - in attendance of the wedding are Terrance and Phillip, the Queef Sisters, Bryan Adams and various other Canadian celebrities. However, part way through the ceremony, the roof begins to fall in, and the princess-to-be is kidnapped in some kind of energy cube. Ike is, of course, distraught, and cannot stop crying during the next day's rehearsal. An annoyed Mr. Mackey, not realizing that Ike is genuinely devastated but just portraying Tooth Decay incorrectly, sends him home.
A news report on the wedding incident mentions that Canadians are committing suicide out of despair since they can't deal with the loss anymore. A message from the prime minister of Canada says for all Canadian citizens who didn't commit suicide are to open their "faith boxes", whatever they are. Ike seems to know straight away and heads home. He finds a dusty old box labelled "FAITH BOX" and on opening, a pre-recorded video of the Canadian prime minister is projected onto the wall. He states that, if the box has been ordered opened, one of the Royal Family must be in danger. The order is to travel to Canada, take up arms and rescue the imperiled Royal. Inside the box is everything required for the operation.
With Ike's disappearance, Mackey goes apoplectic towards Kyle in the middle of a strange type of math class - since Ike is his brother, it's his problem to deal with.
On the bus to Canada, Ike carries a shield, sword and helmet. Another Canadian, Ugly Bob, recognizes Ike to be Canadian. Since his last appearance, Bob has moved to the US where he is seen as "just another Canadian", and not the disfigured monstrosity he is seen as in Canada - he still wears a paper bag on his head though. He and Ike buddy up. At the rendezvous, the Canadians all face off with who they believe to be the culprit - Scott the Dick, who since his last appearance has turned into a giant dick due to radiation exposure (he has grown to abnormal size).
Scott correctly points out that he is probably the most patriotic Canadian there, and he has no reason to ruin the wedding - at this, the prime minister admits they got it wrong and everyone leaves aside from Ike and Bob. They team up with Scott to track down the princess' real abductor.
In order to make things up with Mackey, Kyle has stood in for Ike as Tooth Decay in the play - Mackey does not seem to realize that it is just a little kids' play, and constantly hurls abuse at everyone, in particular Kyle. He reveals that he is so passionate about it because his dad was killed by tooth decay two years before, much to everyone's surprise.
Scott believes that the abductors were the Aboriginal Canadians, primarily Inuit. They are eventually captured, and the Inuit say that they know who took the princess (with Bob translating for Scott and Ike). They take the three to a large castle, where they can see the princess through a window. They and their Inuk guide enter the castle, where the princess is chained to a wall. They realize that the culprit is actually Tooth Decay, who is exacting punishment on the princess for not flossing properly. Tooth Decay easily defeats the Inuk and Scott, but Ike manages to turn it into a statue by showing it Bob's face.
Mackey's play is stopped by the South Park police as a result of the demise of Tooth Decay, much to his relief.
As a result of their actions, Bob and Scott both receive white chocolate medals in recognition of their heroics, and Ike gets a Canadian knighthood, which Kyle finds impressive - unfortunately, Stan compares it to his sister being head of the girl scouts, Cartman compares it to his uncle being second in line to be manager at Gart Brothers, and Kenny says nothing. Kyle then agrees with them that Ike being knighted is not so amazing. The wedding finally continues as the Prince tears off the Princess' arm and inserts it into his anus, "as is tradition."