"松木车大赛"是第13季的第六集，也是南方公园第187集。该剧于2009年4月15日播出。
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剧透警告！！！
以下内容有剧透，请谨慎观看！！！ |
简介
剧情
兰迪决心要让斯坦能在一年一度的州松木车大赛中胜出。因此他把一个小装置塞进了松木车尾部来提高性能。斯坦从新闻报道中得知，这个小装置是一个超导磁铁，是兰迪伪装成莱娅公主从大型强子对撞机上偷下来的。
比赛的时候，斯坦在兰迪的教唆引导下，不情愿地对领队撒了谎。随后，兰迪在与他们的主要竞争对手——霍利斯和他儿子埃米特交谈的时候，惊奇得知，霍利斯的松木车只耗时1.5秒就抵达了终点。
到了决赛，斯坦按照兰迪教给他的向签到检查处撒了谎，说自己只用了松木车大赛允许使用的配件。自然而然他赢得了第一名，并且由此创了速度新高；与此同时，松木车冲出跑道射入太空达到了曲速。不久之后，美国国家安全局的两位特工找上门来，并告知马什一家有外星物种发现了松木车，正在前往地球进行第三类接触的路上。终于，一艘宇宙飞船在南方公园着陆，但驾驶员却是名为贝比·法克·麦克吉扎克斯的星际罪犯，他持枪以整个星球的人的性命作为威胁，来命令斯坦和兰迪制造一个新的曲速驱动器。而在场的每个人都相信他们只借助现有的零件就可以完成制作。
Meanwhile, Mr. Hollis, ashamed to have lost to Randy Marsh, commits suicide in front of his son, much to Emmett's horror.
Stan tries to persuade Randy to tell the truth about the stolen magnet, but Randy refuses because he does not want to look stupid in front of the whole town. As they keep working, an Intergalactic Police ship approaches Earth; McGee-zax cloaks his ship and drags Stan out of sight, leaving the townspeople to divert the officers’ questions until they leave. Even though the officers say that McGee-zax stole a large sum of "space cash" from the Universal Bank, no one admits to seeing him.
As Stan and Randy finish the car, at Randy's urging, Stan reluctantly stabs McGee-zax with a makeshift shank, seemingly killing him. The ship is promptly de-cloaked and found to contain the stolen space cash. Instead of calling the Intergalactic Police, though, Randy persuades everyone to keep quiet and divide up the money, buying the world leaders’ silence by giving them shares as well. Four days later, as Randy is trying to keep the peace among them, the two officers land in South Park again. They now know that McGee-zax landed here and Randy tells them of his death, but everyone denies finding any space cash — even though the country of Mexico has suddenly built many new hospitals and water parks. Randy berates the Mexican government for jeopardizing the cover-up with this spending spree after the officers have left.
While Stan glumly stares at his first-place trophy and the newspaper articles he has collected, almost every one of which shows Randy excited and himself uneasy, Randy is still trying to keep other countries from doing as Mexico did. Learning that Finland is about to tell the Intergalactic Police the truth, he persuades the rest of the world to wipe it out. The country is immediately destroyed in a nuclear missile attack. The Intergalactic Police pay a third visit to ask about the strike, prompting fake disbelief from the world that in turn rouses the officers’ suspicions. By this time, Stan has had enough of the deception, tells the truth about cheating in the Pinewood Derby, and returns his trophy; however, no one else on the planet is willing to confess about anything else that has happened.
McGee-zax emerges from the officers’ ship alive and well, having faked his death earlier, and reveals that the entire chain of events was a test to see if Earth was worthy of joining the intergalactic community. The space cash was only worth what the humans had decided it was worth, and were tested by the aliens to see if they would return the cash rather than keep it. Had they returned it, Earth would have become a member of the Federation of Planets. Unfortunately for the humans, they failed because they tried to conceal the fact that they hoarded the space cash. As punishment for failing that test so badly, Earth and the Moon are permanently enclosed in a gigantic, cubical force field and isolated from the rest of the Universe — to which Randy says, "Well, that sucks."