|"You Have 0 Friends"|
|Episode no.||Season 14|
|Original airdate||April 7, 2010|
|List of all South Park episodes|
Kyle adds Kip Drordy as a "friend" on Facebook, due to Kip being the only person in South Park to not have any friends. This causes all of his old friends to desert him. Kyle's situation is so desperate, he seeks help from Cartman. Meanwhile, Stan literally gets sucked into Facebook after attempting to delete his account with 845,000 "friends".
Plot details follow.
While at Kyle's house, Cartman mockingly states that he has more Facebook friends than he does; as well as Kenny who has 62 friends while Kyle only has 37. Stan arrives at Kyle's house only to look on with distaste at his friend's fascination with Facebook. Kyle attempts to change Stan's opinion by talking about its features such as farming games (based on Farmville), Yahtzee and such. Stan remains firm, and as such he is infuriated to discover that his friends have already made him his very own account. Cartman advises Stan to get with it or suffer as someone who has no Facebook friends, like a socially inept third-grader named Kip Drordy. Stan becomes fed up at last and leaves to play Xbox, while Kyle, feeling bad for Kip, decides to add him as a friend. Kip, accepting the friend request, is overjoyed and tells his parents all about his new friend's interests and how he wants "the world to stop talking about ninjas."
When Randy discovers Stan's Facebook page, he pesters Stan by complaining, "So...we're not friends?" causing Stan to add him, if only to shut up his father. Kyle meanwhile rapidly starts to lose friends as a result of adding Kip. When Wendy discovers Stan's Facebook profile, she becomes furious over Stan "lying" to her about having one, as well as leaving his relationship status "single." While updating his profile, he finds that Cartman has a podcast on Facebook that tells people how to get friends, which friends people should add, and what is most beneficial to their Facebook. Cartman (in usual Cartman fashion) informs his audience to dump Kyle as a friend, as he is now friends with Kip. As a result, people that are already friends with Kyle de-friend him, only leaving him with little to none left. In the most pathetic manner possible, Kyle begs Stan to fertilize his dying crops on Facebook.
In contrast to Kyle, Kip is overjoyed at having his first and only friend — both online and offline. His parents share his excitement that their son has a friend; however, they appear to be unaware that this friend of his is only online.
When Stan doesn't pay attention to his Facebook status, it results in people getting mad at him for ignoring them — to the point of one even spitting at him. Wendy, in particular, is enraged because one of his female friends saw pictures of him in a bunny costume, despite the woman being a friend of his grandmother's at 92 years of age. Meanwhile, Randy bullies Stan into adding and checking Grandma Marsh's status more often. Stan eventually amasses over 845,000 friends (without trying), and is infuriated dealing with Facebook. His patience runs dry, Stan attempts to delete his account only to be stopped by his own computer. Instead, Stan is pulled into Facebook by way of his webcam. He finds himself in a digital world (which bears resemblance to the 1982 film Tron), where he is unable to talk to people who have either ignored him or requested to be his friend. Stan is enraged having done exactly what he was trying to avoid: being 'sucked into' Facebook (quite literally).
Meanwhile in the real world, Kyle, eager and desperate to get friends, turns to Cartman for help. Cartman suggests that Kyle de-friend Kip. Kyle is reluctant to do so out of guilt, and so Cartman then tells Kyle about Chat Roulette. The two go on Chat Roulette to get new friends, but it only shows various men masturbating in front of their webcams.
Back in the digital world of Facebook, Stan is 'arrested' by Facebook avatars, who pit him in a battle against another user. However, instead of doing anything 'cool', he ends up having to play Yahtzee with a random person. Stan wins in one throw with Yahtzee, causing his opponent to apparently be killed via digital deletion. Stan then escapes the avatar in charge and goes in search of answers.
Meanwhile, after many more hours of searching for friends in Chat Roulette, Cartman finally finds someone who isn't masturbating on Facebook. The person happens to be a Jewish boy who agrees to become Kyle's new Facebook friend. All the while, Kip continues to try and maintain his 'friendship' with Kyle, by taking his computer around with him, such as to the movies, where he laughs obnoxiously and takes photos of himself with his computer.
Kyle, enjoying his new Facebook friend, plays on his Facebook farm and is shocked to see Stan appear. After calling him an asshole, Stan demands that Kyle help him by pulling up his Facebook status. Apparently Stan's Facebook page has taken on a life of its own and is holding an online chat with all his friends. As Stan goes off to figure out what's going on, Kyle discovers that his new Jewish friend from Chat Roulette has removed him from his friends list due to Kyle's friendship with Kip. This forces Kyle to finally decide to remove Kip from his friend's list or else risk being a permanent Facebook outcast. He sends Kip a 'good-bye' message, which causes Kip to return into his state of depression.
Stan finally arrives at the 'chat party' and finds that his profile has become a giant sentient monster and appears to be working without him. Stan's profile then challenges him to a game of Yahtzee in which (again) Stan wins in only one roll. The win results in Stan being returned to the real world, and he immediately deletes his page. Randy is disappointed that Stan is not friends with him and starts whining again in the hopes that Stan will re-friend him. Stan, however, tells him to fuck off and that his profile went rogue and sent all of his friends somewhere else. Kip, staring blankly at his Facebook, is overjoyed to find that in the blink of an eye, he now has 845,323 friends.
- "You Have 0 Friends (Season 14, Episode 4) - Episode Guide". southparkstudios.com.