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"You're Not Yelping"
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Episode no. Season 19
Episode 4
Production no. 1904
Original airdate October 14, 2015
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""The City Part of Town"" ""Safe Space""
List of all South Park episodes
You're Not Yelping is the Fourth episode of Season Nineteen, and the 261st overall episode of South Park. It aired on October 14, 2015.[1]
SPW pic -- Spoiler Spoiler warning!
Plot details follow.


There’s a new kid in school and his parents have opened a restaurant in the recently gentrified part of town. Cartman now considers himself the top on-line restaurant reviewer in South Park.


Randy and Gerald attempt to have dinner at one of the new restaurants called Venatious. They are told they must wait a half hour before they can be seated, but they are seated right away when Gerald reveals that he is a Yelp reviewer. Gerald claims he was secretive about it because he didn't want the restaurant "to kiss his ass too much." Meanwhile, Cartman seems content to abuse his newfound power as a Yelp reviewer, demanding a Mexican restaurant give him free dessert for the possibility of a five star review. At the restaurant, Cartman meets a busboy his age named David pronounced (Dah-veed), who happens to be the son of the restaurant's owner.

The next day at school, Cartman is shocked to find that David is a new student at South Park Elementary. Immediately, he abuses his Yelp power to make David say he rides a "tiny bicicleta" to school, threatening to make his already-low rating of his father's restaurant even lower. Cartman has even decided to order food from restaurants during lunch instead of eating cafeteria food.

At Whistlin' Willy's, Willy has a meltdown over the numerous Yelp reviewers South Park has bred, and kicks them out of his restaurant as a result. This starts a chain reaction in South Park, as nearly every restaurant in town bans Yelp reviewers and other food bloggers. Cartman becomes fed up with this, as well as the high number of food bloggers in South Park. As a result, he contacts many people he considers a wannabe in order to show them "how it's done." However, the number of people that show up for this meeting far exceed Cartman's expectations, as they take up the whole surrounding block of his house. Cartman rallies them up by stating that they need a clear leader. However, each member of the audience smugly believes themselves to be the one destined to lead the group. This escalates into an attack on Whistlin' Willy's, which results in the mascot being beheaded (his mascot head was taken off).

David, not afraid of the revolt, publicly calls Cartman out on the news, though non-specifically addresses him as the leader of the Yelp reviewers. He and Kyle meet outside of town, only to find that the entire army of Yelp reviewers is there. After Kyle realizes that all the Yelpers think they're the leader, he devises a plan with Mayor McDaniels. One by one, the Yelp reviewers are knighted as the "best food critic in South Park," and are given golden badges to distinguish them. South Park restaurants once again allow "food critics," but take up a habit of tainting their food, most commonly by masturbating on it. This end sequence is accompanied with a song called "Boogers and Cum".


  1904: "You're Not Yelping" edit
Story Elements

"Bad To The Bone" • YelpWhistlin' Willy'sNueva FamiliaDavid Rodriguez• Golden Badge • "The Yelper Special"


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South Park: The Complete Nineteenth Season

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