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Woodland Critters


December 2011 Featured Article Winner

The Woodland Critters are deceptively cute, but truly evil satanic animals imagined by Eric Cartman, as shown in the episode "Woodland Critter Christmas".

Background

"Woodland Critter Christmas"

They are a group of Satan-worshiping woodland animals created by Cartman in a Christmas story for a class assignment. Though they appear friendly, they can manifest "evil Satanic powers", such as the ability to conjure hellfire and demons. They all originally appeared in "Woodland Critter Christmas", in which they attempted to bring about the birth of the Anti-Christ so that Satan can rule the world in terror, but are ultimately killed by Santa Claus when he shoots them with a shotgun one by one. However, this story in itself was an "imaginary" one and did not occur in the "real world" of the story.

The twelve critters are: Squirrely the Squirrel, Rabbity the Rabbit, Beavery the Beaver, Beary the Bear, Porcupiney the Porcupine, Skunky the Skunk, Foxy the Fox, Deery the Deer, Woodpeckery the Woodpecker, Mousey the Mouse, Raccoony the Raccoon, and Chickadee-y the Chickadee.

Most of the critters also have their own catchphrases or verbal tic; Squirrely's "now don't be down, y'all", Mousey's "I deduce", Beary's "but we got to--" and Chickadee-y's repeating of the last few words of her statements.

"Imaginationland"

In the Season Eleven story arc "Imaginationland", they appeared in reality. Because they were made up by Cartman, they exist in the evil realm of Imaginationland (Location) and were freed when terrorists destroyed the barrier separating the benevolent imaginary characters from the evil ones. In one scene, in which other famous villains such as Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees argue as to what to do with a captured Strawberry Shortcake, the Critters disturb the other villains with their grotesque suggestions on how to mutilate, torture and kill Shortcake, with Jason Voorhees saying, "Man, I do not want to meet the kid that dreamt those things up." The Critters also raped (and presumably killed) a squad of American soldiers led by Kurt Russell that had crossed into Imaginationland. They managed to make a Tron Soldier's head explode, attack and gang-rape Popeye in the final battle, but did not manage to kill him. They were eventually all put back behind the barrier to Evil Imaginationland along with the rest of the evil imaginary characters after Butters used his imagination to restore Imaginationland to the way it was before the terrorist attack.

Appearance

The Woodland Critters are deceptively cute and act innocent with their actions. They all have big bulgy, shiny eyes. They also wear either colorful scarves, mittens, sweaters, or hats.

Squirrely the Squirrel

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Small in stature, with a big round head, and short little arms. He is slightly chubby. Squirrely has a gray and light, taupe-colored fur, with spots of pale green on his belly, under his tail, and right above his dark red eyes. Around his neck, Squirrely wears a bright red scarf. He speaks in a soft, welcoming voice that is incredibly misleading and also bears a strong southern accent. He could be based of the Eastern grey squirrel.

Beary the Bear

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Large, pudgy, fat, and round, Beary outweighs the other woodland critters. He has thick, dark brown fur, hazel-brown eyes, and light brown spots on his snout, and below his brows. He has big, uneven teeth, and stubby claws. He wears a long, striped red and green winter hat with a single puff ball at the end. He could be based off the Grizzly bear.

Beavery the Beaver

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Beavery has brown fur, and spots of tan on his pudgy stomach, and around his brown eyes. He has big buck teeth, and a flat black tail, and toes, and on his big round nose. He wears a blue winter hat and gloves, with a light blue trimming. He is a little plump. He could be based off the North American beaver.

Chickadee-y the Chickadee

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A tiny little bird with a short blue beak, small wings, and scrawny legs. Chickadee-y has black feathers, streaks of white on his cheeks, dark blue eyes, and a round yellow belly. He wears a striped red and green tie and is the smallest of the Woodland Critters. He could be based off the Black-faced chickadee.

Deery the Deer

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Deery is a tall, female deer with orange-brown fur, lanky long legs, brown eyes, cream patches around her eyes, mouth, and cream fur that reaches from her neck to her stomach or tail. She has a small tuft of brown fur on top of her head and she wears a pink scarf. Her hooves are grey, and she speaks in a calm voice. She could be based off the White-tailed deer.

Foxy the Fox

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Foxy is a small orange fox who has black ears, feet, and paws, a white stomach and a portion of white near her jawline, a big bushy tail, green eyes, and wears a dark-green sweater with green trimmings. Her voice has the feel of excitement to it, and she has more of an accent. She could be based off the Red fox.

Mousey the Mouse

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A tiny little brown field mouse has a red stomach, brown eyes, large whiskers, and light brown-cream patches around his eyes. Mousey wears large, round glasses and a green buttoned jacket. He speaks in a British accent. He could be based off the Field mouse.

Porcupiney the Porcupine

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A medium-sized female Porcupine with grey and brown fur, light grey and brown quills, and a long piece of blue cloth tied around her forehead that reaches to her waist. She has light blue eyes, thick eyelashes, and due to being pregnant with the Anti-Christ, she had a temporary baby bump while resembling Mary. She could be based off the North American porcupine species.

Rabbity the Rabbit

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A small-medium-sized Rabbit with grey fur, white-cream patches near his eyes and stomach, long fluffy ears that lop downward, a small grey fluffy tail, long legs, light blue eyes and he wears a red hat with a small white poof-ball. After happily being sacrificed, he has a long cut in his stomach, revealing his organs and blood that most of which were torn out by the other critters. He could be based off the Eastern cottontail.

Raccoony the Raccoon

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Raccoony is medium-sized, has dark brown fur, a lighter coffee brown on his belly, white around his muzzle, black ears, paws, and feet, a small white tuft on top of his head, a big black nose, a striped light coffee and black tail, brown eyes and a black and white "mask". He wears a green scarf. He is based off the Raccoon species.

Skunky the Skunk

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Skunky is a small-medium little Skunk with a long white stripe coming down his forehead and reaching to his nose, a white stomach, and a bushy black and white striped tail, and green eyes. He wears a blue sweater and little red gloves. He could be based off the Striped skunk,

Woodpeckery the Woodpecker

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A small Woodpecker with light coffee brown feathers, an orange stomach, a cream-yellow pointed beak, small skinny grey legs, a portion of orange around her face, and dark olive patches around her brown eyes. She wears blue earmuffs. She could be based off the Pileated woodpecker, although no known woodpeckers have brown/orange plumage.

Personality

They act strangely optimistic and childlike, despite being wicked and evil. They also seem to enjoy Guro, evidenced by the fact that they had a blood orgy after sacrificing Rabbity the Rabbit in "Woodland Critter Christmas". They also seem to enjoy watching others suffer, as they wanted to torture Strawberry Shortcake before killing her in Imaginationland, Episode II.

Abilities

Most likely as a result of satanic rituals and pacts, the critters have been shown to have powerful, but evil magical powers. This includes summoning hellfire, demons and harming opponents with dark magical spells.

Interactions

Stan Marsh

They originally befriended Stan, but only to manipulate him into killing the Mountain Lion Cubs' mother. After Stan realized they were Satan-worshippers, he tried to stop them, leading to them becoming enemies.

Kyle Broflovski

They befriended Kyle for his disbelief in Christianity, and made him a host for the Anti-Christ before being shot by Santa Claus. Kyle then agrees to insert the Anti-Christ in him to make the world respect Judahism, only to know it harmed his soul.

Prominence

Video Games

South Park Let's Go Tower Defense Play!

The Woodland Critters appear as enemies in South Park Let's Go Tower Defense Play!. The critters are faster than the other enemies of the game and tend to deal between nine and eleven damage to players' towers. They are weak against fiery-works towers.

South Park: Tenorman's Revenge

The Woodland Critters appear as enemies in South Park: Tenorman's Revenge. They appear during the Hell level.

South Park: The Stick of Truth

The Woodland Critters appear as non-player characters in South Park: The Stick of Truth. They can be found in a clearing in the Lost Forest next to a large Christmas tree, and ask the player to accept Satan as their one true lord. When the player does, all 12 critters friend him on Facebook.

Facebook Messages

Beary facebook message.png Chickadee-y facebook message.png

South Park: The Fractured But Whole

The Woodland Critters appear as a boss battle in South Park: The Fractured But Whole. They appear outside of Freeman's Tacos after traveling to the future, where they try to kill the New Kid to claim the bounty Mayor Conner has placed on their head. Only Beary, Deery, Foxy, Beavery, Raccoony, and Porcupiney take part in the battle, with the others (excluding Squirrely) in the background surrounding a satanic altar. Eventually, Santa is summoned to battle where he fights alongside the New Kid's team against the Woodland Critters, and in response, Rabbity sacrifices himself to make the other Critters stronger. The New Kid receives the "Festive Verse" artifact for defeating them, and they don't appear in the game again.

Danger Deck

Most of The Woodland Critters appear as enemies during The Danger Deck challenges, teaming up with other enemies:

  • Deery teams up with one of Jared's aides, two police officers, Sheila, and Professor Chaos riding his Mini Supreme during the "Stand your Ground" challenge.
  • Two Beary's team up with a redneck, a Therapy Kid, a Dead Flinger Chaos Minion, and a cook during the "Dead and Beary'd" challenge.
  • Beavery and Raccony team up with Porcupiney and three copies of Father McManus in the "Beasts n' Priests" challenge.
  • Porcupiney appears on two occasions. First, she appears during the "Beasts n' Priests" challenge with the previously mentioned enemies, and during the "Heavy Hitters Challenge", teaming up with Professor Chaos riding his Mini Supreme, King Crab, Red Wine Drunk Randy, Almighty King Douchebag, and Detective Yates.

References


Minor Characters from Season Eight
6th Grader with Orange Coat | 6th Grader with Orange Hood | Aging Hippie Liberal Douche | Anti-Christ | A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000 | Beth | Barry Bonds | Bill O'Reilly | Blanket Jackson | Darryl Weathers | Future Humans | Giant Douche | Harvey Brown | Jason Giambi | Jeffy | Jeffy's Farmer | Jessie | Jim Lehrer | Justin Timberlake | Kal | Kelly Rutherford-Menskin | Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter | Mandy | Mark McGwire | Mel Gibson | Michael Deets | Michael Jackson | Miss Claridge | Mountain Lion | Mountain Lion Cubs | Mr. Meryl | Nancy | Nellie Stotch | P. Diddy | Paris Hilton | People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals | The Orange County Crew | The Orange County Crew Coach | The South Park Diggities | Tinkerbell | Tom Johannsen | Trent Boyett | Turd Sandwich | Uncle Stotch | Woodland Critters | Yao

More information: List of Minor Characters from Season Eight | Season Eight

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