|April 2007 Featured Article Winner|
- For the episode of the same name, see Towelie.
Towelie is a talking towel who was genetically engineered by Tynacorp, in order to allow him to make people as dry as necessary depending on the situation. He first appeared in the Season Five episode, "Towelie".
Towelie is said to be 17 in towel years in "Professor Chaos", although how many actual years a "towel year" is worth is unknown. In "Crippled Summer", he had agreed to do an intervention. He also has been working at Lake Tardicaca and has been warned for getting high 14 times. Towelie was addicted to marijuana, crystal meth, and crack cocaine, and tried using heroin and inhaling computer duster. Towelie has been sober since April 26, 2010. However, in "Tegridy Farms", it is implied that he may be using marijuana again, since he took a job at the Marsh family's hemp farm, which might be the result of the events of South Park: The Fractured But Whole which reference his rehab, but is seen getting high multiple times after his boss fight, where he is calmed by setting the store's weed stock on fire.
Although the creators of South Park intentionally made Towelie a terrible character, he gained a huge amount of popularity. After his initial appearance, he took on parts, usually cameos, in other episodes. In spite of this, he is regarded as "the worst character ever" by other characters within the show.
Towelie is probably best described as a light blue towel with arms, legs, and an anthropomorphic face. He also wears tiny yellow shoes. He has a high-pitched voice with an apparent slight southern accent. His eyes become visibly bloodshot when he gets high. In "Crippled Summer", he is shown crumpled and burnt at the edges, due to his drug addiction.
- To see images of Towelie, visit Towelie/Gallery.
Towelie clearly wants to get high at all times; he doesn't hesitate getting high in public and suggesting the kids and everyone to get high as well. He prefers smoking weed but often (as in "Crippled Summer") uses crack and/or meth and other drugs possibly. When he is not high he gets in an awful mood and can become rude. In such occasions where he is out of dope and money he prostitutes himself to old men by providing oral sex in exchange for money in order to buy more drugs and get high again.
Despite the fact he is an addict, he is genuinely a mild persona often exhibiting sensitivity and kindness. He seldom becomes aggressive and usually due to being out of dope, or when people throw away his dope either by accident or to protect him. Towelie is also, by nature, very caring of others. He saved the boys' lives in his debut and constantly reminds people to use towels after getting wet so as not to catch cold. Towelie's love for his son was the driving force behind him getting clean.
Rebecca kicked Towelie out for being a bad influence on their son, preventing him from speaking to Washcloth when he was high. The boys use Washcloth as an incentive to get Towelie to get treatment. Towelie, Rebecca, and Washcloth later moved back in together after Towelie kicked his addiction.
- Towelie: "You wanna get high?" from "Towelie"
- Towelie: "That's my last joint, asshole!" from "Towelie"
- Towelie: "Oh man, why is everyone riding me today? God damn it." from "Towelie"
- Towelie: "Oh man, I'm so high right now, I have no idea what's going on." from "Towelie"
- Eric Cartman: "You're the worst character ever, Towelie."
Towelie: "I know." from "Towelie"
- Towelie: "You're stupid!"
Eric Cartman: "Yeah, and you're a towel!"
Towelie: "You're a towel!" from "Towelie"
- Towelie: "Don't forget to bring a towel!" from "Towelie"
- Towelie: "Go away, I'm walkin' on sunshine" from "Crippled Summer"
- According to the Tynacorp commander, Towelie's real name is "Smart Towel RG-400".
- After both Muhammad controversies in the series, "Cartoon Wars Part I"/"Cartoon Wars Part II" and "200"/"201", a Towelie episode airs the week after.
- Even though they never met him on screen before "Crippled Summer", Butters Stotch and Clyde Donovan both seem to know him somehow.
- Although Towelie is revealed to be male in "Crippled Summer", he wears a woman's swimsuit in "Professor Chaos".
- Towelie has an evil counterpart, a weaponized smart towel named GS-401.
- "Towelie" - Towelie's debut appearance, he plays a major role in the episode.
- "Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants" - Briefly advises the boys on the importance of always bringing a towel.
- "Butters' Very Own Episode" - Small reference in newspaper.
- "Professor Chaos" - Appears as a potential replacement for Kenny. He has several speaking lines in the episode.
- "I'm a Little Bit Country" - Non-speaking cameo.
- "Red Man's Greed" - Non-speaking cameo.
- "A Million Little Fibers" - Towelie writes a best-selling autobiography and appears on The Oprah Winfrey Show. The first episode to focus entirely on Towelie; none of the principal cast of the show appear.
- "You Have 0 Friends" - Mentioned in dialogue.
- "Medicinal Fried Chicken" - Non-speaking cameo.
- "Crippled Summer" - Several other characters stage an intervention to help him kick his drug habits.
- "Tegridy Farms" - Joins Randy's hemp farm.
- "Bike Parade" - Helps Randy selling weed all over town.
- "Mexican Joker" - Berates Randy for selling out to stop homegrown weed.
- "Shots" - Comes back to work at Tegridy Farms after Randy apologises.
- "Let Them Eat Goo" - Runs Tegridy Burger with Randy.
Although Towelie does not appear in person in the game, he briefly appears on one of the loading screens.
However, Towelie has become easily enraged due to the loss of drugs, for a trivial reason, he engaged in a combat with the New Kid and the Coon. After the kids managed to burn the weed piles in the store, Towelie calmed down and gave the kids what they wanted.
Towelie can also be seen as an assistance provider in the Towelie: Your Gaming Bud downloadable content.