|April 2007 Featured Article Winner|
- For the episode of the same name, see Towelie.
Towelie is a talking towel who was genetically engineered by Tynacorp, in order to allow him to make people as dry as necessary depending on the situation. He first appeared in the Season Five episode, "Towelie".
Towelie is said to be 17 in towel years in "Professor Chaos", although how many actual years a "towel year" is worth is unknown. In "Crippled Summer", he had agreed to do an intervention. He also has been working at Lake Tardicaca and has been warned for getting high 14 times. His name (Spelled in Towelie) as TOWELYEY, though he was probably high at the time of spelling it so the legitimacy of this spelling is hard to confirm.
Towelie was addicted to marijuana, crystal meth, and crack cocaine, and tried using heroin and inhaling computer duster. Towelie has been sober since April 26, 2010. However, in "Tegridy Farms", it is implied that he may be using marijuana again since he took a job at the Marsh family's hemp farm, which might be the result of the events of South Park: The Fractured But Whole which reference his rehab, but is seen getting high multiple times after his boss fight, where he is calmed by setting the store's weed stock on fire.
Although the creators of South Park intentionally made Towelie a terrible character, he gained a huge amount of popularity. After his initial appearance, he took on parts, usually cameos, in other episodes. In spite of this, he is regarded as "the worst character ever" by other characters within the show.
Towelie is probably best described as an anthropomorphic light-blue towel with arms, legs, and a face. He wears tiny yellow shoes and speaks in a high-pitched voice with an apparent slight southern accent. His eyes become visibly bloodshot when he gets high. In "Crippled Summer", he is shown crumpled and burnt at the edges, due to his drug addiction. In "Credigree Weed St. Patrick's Day Special" he appears green for St. Patrick's Day.
Towelie clearly wants to get high at all times; he doesn't hesitate to get high in public and suggesting the kids and everyone to get high as well. He prefers smoking weed but often (as in "Crippled Summer") uses crack and/or meth and other drugs possibly. When he is not high he gets in an awful mood and can become rude. On such occasions where he is out of dope and money, he prostitutes himself to old men by providing oral sex in exchange for money in order to buy more drugs and get high again.
Despite the fact he is an addict, he is genuinely a mild persona often exhibiting sensitivity and kindness. He seldom becomes aggressive and usually due to being out of dope, or when people throw away his dope either by accident or to protect him. Towelie is also, by nature, very caring of others. He saved the boys' lives in his debut and constantly reminds people to use towels after getting wet so as not to catch a cold. Towelie's love for his son was the driving force behind him getting clean. Furthermore, he also carries some moral standards such as when he called out Randy for his greed by pandering to the Chinese government, selling out to big businesses such as MedMen, and destroying people's homegrown weed.
Rebecca kicked Towelie out for being a bad influence on their son, preventing him from speaking to Washcloth when he was high. The boys use Washcloth as an incentive to get Towelie to get treatment. Towelie, Rebecca, and Washcloth later moved back in together after Towelie kicked his addiction.
- Towelie: "You wanna get high?" from "Towelie"
- Towelie: "That's my last joint, asshole!" from "Towelie"
- Towelie: "Oh man, why is everyone riding me today? God damn it." from "Towelie"
- Towelie: "Oh man, I'm so high right now, I have no idea what's going on." from "Towelie"
- Eric Cartman: "You're the worst character ever, Towelie."
Towelie: "I know." from "Towelie"
- Towelie: "You're stupid!"
Eric Cartman: "Yeah, and you're a towel!"
Towelie: "You're a towel!" from "Towelie"
- Towelie: "Don't forget to bring a towel!" from "Towelie"
- Cashier: "You must have one dusty computer."
Towelie: "Fuck you! It's not illegal, bitch!" from "Crippled Summer"
- Towelie: "Go away, I'm walkin' on sunshine." from "Crippled Summer"
- Towelie: "Then say it! Say "Fuck the Chinese government!" from "Shots!!!"
- According to the Tynacorp commander, Towelie's real name is "Smart Towel RG-400".
- After both Muhammad controversies in the series, "Cartoon Wars Part I"/"Cartoon Wars Part II" and "200"/"201", a Towelie episode airs the week after.
- Even though they never met him on screen before "Crippled Summer", Butters Stotch and Clyde Donovan both seem to know him somehow.
- Although Towelie is revealed to be male in "Crippled Summer", he wears a woman's swimsuit in "Professor Chaos".
- Towelie has an evil counterpart, a weaponized smart towel named GS-401.
- In the canceled PlayStation 2/Xbox/Gamecube sequel, a texture of Towelie with no face appears in the files.
- In April 2021, Adidas collaborated with South Park to celebrate 4/20, creating a pair of Campus 80s shoes starring Towelie. The pair of shoes have Towelie's eyes on front of the tongues, changing colors when exposed to UV/sunlight making him look high. The back of the tongues contain a pocket and memorable quotes from the show: "Don't Forget to Bring a Towel" and "I Have No Idea What's Going On". They include two different keychains of Towelie.
- "Towelie" - Towelie's debut appearance; he plays a major role in the episode.
- "Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants" - Briefly advises the boys on the importance of always bringing a towel.
- "Butters' Very Own Episode" - Appears in the newspaper.
- "Professor Chaos" - Appears as a potential replacement for Kenny. He has several speaking lines in the episode.
- "I'm a Little Bit Country" - Non-speaking cameo.
- "Red Man's Greed" - Non-speaking cameo.
- "A Million Little Fibers" - Towelie writes a best-selling autobiography and appears on The Oprah Winfrey Show. This is the first episode to focus entirely on Towelie; none of the principal cast of the show appear.
- "You Have 0 Friends" - Mentioned in dialogue.
- "Medicinal Fried Chicken" - Non-speaking cameo.
- "Crippled Summer" - Several other characters stage an intervention to help him kick his drug habits.
- "Tegridy Farms" - Joins Tegridy Farms.
- "Bike Parade" - Helps Randy selling weed all over town.
- "Mexican Joker" - Berates Randy for selling out to stop homegrown weed.
- "Shots!!!" - Comes back to work at Tegridy Farms after Randy apologizes.
- "Let Them Eat Goo" - Runs Tegridy Burger with Randy.
- "Tegridy Farms Halloween Special" - Helps Randy grow his special Halloween weed.
- "Season Finale" - Seen alongside Randy on his "Tegridy Breakfast" podcast.
- "Christmas Snow" - Helps Randy sell cocaine to the residents of South Park to lift their Christmas spirits.
- "South ParQ Vaccination Special" - He appears at the end of the episode with Randy, selling two kinds of Tegridy weed in South Park.
- "The Big Fix" - Gets high with Randy.
- "Credigree Weed St. Patrick's Day Special" - Suddenly gets blunted and turns green after trying out Randy's special.
Although Towelie does not appear in person in the game, he briefly appears on one of the loading screens.
However, Towelie has become easily enraged due to the loss of drugs, for a trivial reason, he engaged in combat with the New Kid and the Coon. After the kids managed to burn the weed piles in the store, Towelie calmed down and gave the kids what they wanted.
Towelie can also be seen as an assistance provider in the Towelie: Your Gaming Bud downloadable content.
As shown in a trailer, Towelie could have had a role playing as a mage assisting the boys in their quest of locating a dark sorcerer. This was cut as it did not make it into the final production.