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(starting new script)
(I tried.)
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|-
 
|-
 
!Liane:
 
!Liane:
|Uh what exactly does that entail, doctor?
+
|Uh, what exactly does that entail, doctor?
  +
|-
  +
!Dentist:
  +
|It's a very simple operation. We'll just put you to sleep, Eric, and when you wake up you'll be tonsil-free!
  +
|-
  +
!Cartman:
  +
|No- No way. I'm not going to the hospital, Mom!
  +
|-
  +
!Dentist:
  +
|Oh, I thought you were a ''tough'' kid! You're not ''scared'' of hospitals, are you?
  +
|-
  +
!Cartman:
  +
|No, I'm not scared...I just- I don't want my tonsils out, that's all!
  +
|-
  +
!Dentist:
  +
|Well I guess you don't want all the ice cream you get after the surgery, either.
  +
|-
  +
!Cartman:
  +
|...Ice cream?
  +
|-
  +
!Dentist:
  +
|It'd be a shame to have to give all that free ice cream to the big boys who aren't afraid of hospitals.
  +
|-
  +
!Liane:
  +
|What do you say, champ? Think you can tough it out?
  +
|-
  +
!Cartman:
  +
|Well...you did say ''free'' ice cream?
  +
|-
  +
!Dentist and Liane:
  +
|(Laughs)
  +
|-
  +
!
  +
|style="background:#C0C0C0;"|(A shot of [[Hell's Pass Hospital]]. Camera cuts to a hospital room where Cartman is asleep in a hospital bed. Liane is sitting by his side, holding his hand and smiling)
  +
|-
  +
!Liane:
  +
|Poopsiekins, wake up. Wake up, honey.
  +
|-
  +
!Cartman:
  +
|(Opening his eyes, blinking a lot) Uh. It's over?
  +
|-
  +
!Liane:
  +
|That's right, you did it, Poopsiekins!
  +
|-
  +
!Cartman:
  +
|(Eye's fully open, sitting up) It's over! I didn't feel anything! You were right, Mom!
  +
|-
  +
!Liane:
  +
|I'm so proud of you, Eric.
  +
|-
  +
!Cartman:
  +
|Alright, so where's my ice cream?
  +
|-
  +
!
  +
|Three doctors enter the room looking very nervous.
  +
|-
  +
!Liane:
  +
|Oh, here's the doctors now! Hi, doctor.
  +
|-
  +
!Cartman:
  +
|You were right, doctor! (cough) Everything is okay!
  +
|-
  +
!Doctor:
  +
|No, it's not. Eric, I'm afraid that we've accidentally infected you with the AIDS virus.
  +
|-
  +
!Liane:
  +
|...What!?
  +
|-
  +
!Cartman:
  +
|What's that supposed to mean!?
  +
|-
  +
!Doctor:
  +
|During the tonsil surgery we had to supply you with donor blood. A mistake was made and you were given blood contaminated with HIV. It was a one in a billion fluke.
  +
|-
  +
!Cartman:
  +
|I HAVE AIDS?
  +
|-
  +
!Doctor:
  +
|Not yet, but we've confirmed that you now have the virus that causes AIDS. We are very sorry.
  +
|-
  +
!Cartman:
  +
|''SORRY''!? YOU GAVE ME AIDS AND YOU'RE "''SORRY'"!?
  +
|-
 
|}
 
|}
 
[[Category:Scripts]]
 
[[Category:Scripts]]

Revision as of 23:59, March 12, 2010

Cast

  • Stan
  • Kyle
  • Cartman
  • Butters
  • Clyde
  • Jimmy
  • Liane
  • Sheila
  • Mr. Mackey
  • Principal Victoria
  • Dentist
  • Doctor
  • Dr. Doctor
  • Anchorman
  • Driver in Nigeria
  • Flight Attendant
  • Delta Airlines Clerk
  • M.C.
  • Waitress
  • Jimmy Buffett
  • Magic Johnson
  • Magic's Butler
  • Mitch and AIDS Research Scientists
This script is not yet finished.

Script

(A close-up of a tongue depressor holding a tongue down, and the sound of a boy going "AHHHHHH." The camera pans out to reveal a dentist looking inside Cartman's mouth. Liane stands nearby, watching. They are all in Cartman's room.)
Cartman: AHHHHHH.
Dentist: Well, there's no doubt about it. Those tonsils need to come out.
Cartman: What?
Liane: Uh, what exactly does that entail, doctor?
Dentist: It's a very simple operation. We'll just put you to sleep, Eric, and when you wake up you'll be tonsil-free!
Cartman: No- No way. I'm not going to the hospital, Mom!
Dentist: Oh, I thought you were a tough kid! You're not scared of hospitals, are you?
Cartman: No, I'm not scared...I just- I don't want my tonsils out, that's all!
Dentist: Well I guess you don't want all the ice cream you get after the surgery, either.
Cartman: ...Ice cream?
Dentist: It'd be a shame to have to give all that free ice cream to the big boys who aren't afraid of hospitals.
Liane: What do you say, champ? Think you can tough it out?
Cartman: Well...you did say free ice cream?
Dentist and Liane: (Laughs)
(A shot of Hell's Pass Hospital. Camera cuts to a hospital room where Cartman is asleep in a hospital bed. Liane is sitting by his side, holding his hand and smiling)
Liane: Poopsiekins, wake up. Wake up, honey.
Cartman: (Opening his eyes, blinking a lot) Uh. It's over?
Liane: That's right, you did it, Poopsiekins!
Cartman: (Eye's fully open, sitting up) It's over! I didn't feel anything! You were right, Mom!
Liane: I'm so proud of you, Eric.
Cartman: Alright, so where's my ice cream?
Three doctors enter the room looking very nervous.
Liane: Oh, here's the doctors now! Hi, doctor.
Cartman: You were right, doctor! (cough) Everything is okay!
Doctor: No, it's not. Eric, I'm afraid that we've accidentally infected you with the AIDS virus.
Liane: ...What!?
Cartman: What's that supposed to mean!?
Doctor: During the tonsil surgery we had to supply you with donor blood. A mistake was made and you were given blood contaminated with HIV. It was a one in a billion fluke.
Cartman: I HAVE AIDS?
Doctor: Not yet, but we've confirmed that you now have the virus that causes AIDS. We are very sorry.
Cartman: SORRY!? YOU GAVE ME AIDS AND YOU'RE "SORRY'"!?
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