In this episode, Wendy awaits as an opportunity to spend time with her boyfriend on Valentine's Day, Stan. However, when their teacher Mr. Garrison goes to get a rhinoplasty, a new substitute named Ms. Ellen comes, and all the boys in class find themselves inexplicably enamored with her, especially Stan as he pukes several times, making Wendy incredibly jealous. She speaks ill of Ms. Ellen in front of Stan but Stan won't listen to her. The boys tell Chef about Ms. Ellen, Chef finds her attractive and tries to hook up with her. Wendy screams harsh towards Ms. Ellen after school to make herself clear, Ms. Ellen is shocked at the moment, but seems to ignore the situation afterwards.
The boys by this time are actively trying to court Ms. Ellen, they all send her presents on the next day. But Chef (having beaten them in their attempts of courtship) warns them that she is a lesbian. With even the knowledgeable Kenny unsure what that is, coupled with Chef's unwillingness to elaborate, the boys try to become lesbians themselves, in order to win Ms. Ellen's heart. Ms. Ellen also declares in class that she will take the winner of the spelling test out to dinner, a golden chance for the boys to get intimate with her, except for Cartman who can't spell.
Wendy's attempts to ruin Ms. Ellen and make herself more noticeable to Stan all fail. Mr. Garrison's nose job works out well and he soon finds himself the most attractive man in South Park (looking like David Hasselhoff). With this in mind, he decides to quit teaching and spend his time "hanging out and screwing hot chicks." Ms. Ellen is therefore hired as the class' permanent teacher, she then announces to class that Stan scored highest in the quiz and will be taken to dinner. This chain of events drives Wendy totally insane.
On the next day, inexplicably, a bunch of Iraqi men burst into the classroom during a session, and declare that Ms. Ellen is actually an Iraqi fugitive; they take her into custody and shoot her into the center of the sun via a rocket. Concurrently, a large group of women rampages the streets in search for Mr. Garrison. Mr. Garrison, frightened by all the attention and horny women, decides to return to his normal looks. Wendy is therefore able to reclaim Stan as her boyfriend.
At the end of the episode, as Kyle is questioning the unusual end of Ms. Ellen, Wendy speaks with the Iraqi men in fluent Arabic and pays them with a huge amount of American money. She also thanks Mrs. Kimball (one of the women from the group of women that chased Garrison) for helping her. Wendy, slightly deranged, admits that she was behind the plot. She pulls out a cardboard box with a hole in the middle; she stares up into the sky and looks directly at the sun as Ms. Ellen finally evaporates into flames. Kyle is shocked to find this out, but Wendy just puts the box down, smiles, and says, "I told her: DON'T FUCK WITH WENDY TESTABURGER!", making Kyle shocked and confused.