The Red Badge of Gayness

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"Starvin' Marvin in Space"

"The Red Badge of Gayness"

"Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics"

"The Red Badge of Gayness"
Episode no.	Season 3 Episode 14
Production no.	314
Original airdate	November 24, 1999
Episode chronology Previous Next "Starvin' Marvin in Space" "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics"
List of all South Park episodes

"The Red Badge of Gayness" is the fourteenth episode of Season Three, and the 45th overall episode of South Park. It originally aired on November 24, 1999.

Synopsis

Cartman has visions of glory as he suits up for the Confederacy in the annual reenactment of a Civil War battle, and leads the drunken rebels to defeat the union.

Plot

Spoiler warning! Plot details follow.

The episode begins with the boys practicing for their Civil War band march which is a reenactment of the American Civil War which was fought from 1861 until 1865. While practicing, Cartman interrupts by messing around with the drums which annoyed Kyle. After Kyle has had enough, he asks Cartman to switch instruments with him which Cartman refused. Stan defends Kyle by telling Eric to switch with him. In response, Cartman breaks the drum and leaves in a huff.

At the re-enactment of the Battle of Tamarack Hill which is directed by Grandpa Marsh, Cartman, now dressed as Confederate General Robert E. Lee, makes a bet with Stan and Kyle that the South will win the war. If the South wins, Stan and Kyle are Cartman's slaves; but if the South loses, Cartman is Stan and Kyle's slave. He proceeds to ruin the re-enactment.

Later on, he tells Uncle Jimbo that the South should win so that the South side in the re-enactment will not be teased for "losing" as they are every year. The men are all drunk from the S'more Schnapps beer sponsoring the event and they all agree to this.

After the South wins the re-enactment, the Union re-enactors, also drunk on S'more Schnapps, decide to join the Confederate re-enactors and march to take over the country, and start moving on Topeka and beyond.

After heading out of town, they capture more and more areas and grow in numbers, raiding the towns for S'more Schnapps to continue their drinking binge. Kenny is killed on the way however, to which Cartman informs Mrs. McCormick by mail.

Stan, Kyle and Grandpa Marsh realize that they need to stop Cartman from ruining history. They suggest that the men are drunk and will return to town when they recover, so they steal all the S'more Schnapps from the camp.

When the men realize what they've been doing, after their binge wears off, they decide to head back to South Park. In response, Cartman calls up S'more Schnapps who send a truck carrying more beer and a S'more Schnapps girl. After brief hesitation, the men become drunk once more, and continue their March.

With no other options left, and President Clinton about to sign the surrender to the South, Stan and Kyle take on the roles of Jefferson Davis, the superior of Robert Lee (Cartman) and Abraham Lincoln in front of the White House and manage to end the "war" with the South "surrendering". The men respect this act as Davis and Jefferson make treaty even though Cartman rejects. His "soldiers" remind him that Jefferson Davis is superior to him and respect his decision before his, and also tell him that they must obey. And so, everybody returns to South Park. Stan and Kyle then tell Cartman that he's their slave. Cartman objects, telling them that now that the South has surrendered, which means that slavery is abolished. President Clinton affirms Cartman's claim and Stan and Kyle insult Clinton as they leave.