The Lonely Jew on Christmas

The Lonely Jew on Christmas was sung by Kyle in the episode Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo, in which Kyle feels left out when his friends are celebrating Christmas and won't let him join in.

The song also appears on the album, Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics.

Lyrics

Kyle: It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas
My friends won't let me join in any games
And I can't sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree
Or leave water out for Rudolph cuz there is something wrong with me
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ divinity

I'm a Jew
A lonely Jew
On Christmas

Hanukkah is nice, but why is it
That Santa passes over my house every year
And instead of eating ham I have to eat Kosher Latkes
Instead of Silent Night I'm singing 'Hoo Hoch Do Lavi'
And what the fuck is up with lighting all these fucking candles tell me, please!

I'm a Jew
A lonely Jew
I can't be merry
Cuz I'm Hebrew
On Christmas

Deeper voice: Hey little boy couldn't help but hear
You're feeling left out on Christmas cheer,
Well let me tell you don't be sad,
This is the one time that you should be glad.

Because it's good to be a Jew on Christmas
You don't have to deal with the season at all
Don't have to be on your best behavior
Or give to charity
You don't have to go to grandmas
With your alcoholic family.

Kyle: And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap and have him breath his stinky breath on me!

Deeper voice: You're a Jew...

Kyle: A stylin' Jew...

Both: It's a good time... to be Hebrew!
On Christmas