|"The China Probrem"|
|Episode no.||Season 12|
|Original airdate||October 8, 2008|
|List of all South Park episodes|
|November 2008 Featured Article Winner|
After watching the intimidating opening ceremonies of the recent Olympic games, Cartman understands that the Chinese are only just days away from invading his homeland. While the rest of the American people are haunted by the memory of a recent tragic event, only Butters will stand with Cartman as he confronts the Chinese.
Plot details follow.
After watching the televised 2008 Summer Olympics opening ceremony, Cartman is plagued by a nightmare of the Chinese and wakes up, fearing China will take over the world due to their advanced technology and a population of two billion. He awakens his mother, who comforts him, but Cartman is certain that the Chinese are coming.
At the bus stop the next day, Cartman tells his plans to stop the Chinese to Stan, Kyle, and Kenny but they do not listen. Stan states Kyle should at this point tell Cartman to stop being racist, but Kyle states he cannot do so and leaves.
In his home, Kyle states he cannot believe that they just watched as "a friend" was raped and that they should have done something rather than just run away. Stan tells Kyle that they have to move on.
At his house, Butters is having a bath, but Cartman enters stating that Butters must help him or the Chinese will attack and kill both his mother and father. Butters joins Cartman and they form the American Liberation Front.
That night, Kyle remembers how one of the greatest heroes of all time was raped and starts thinking all night about the raping. It is revealed that he is in fact referring to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and how bad the plot was - especially due to the fact that there were aliens in it. He now believes Steven Spielberg and George Lucas "raped" Indiana Jones. His dream involves him and his friends watching the movie as Lucas and Spielberg literally rape Indiana Jones during the course of the movie.
The next day, it turns out that Stan, Kenny, Clyde, and Jimmy feel the same way and help Kyle who has gone to the Stormy Weathers in an attempt to take Spielberg and Lucas to court. They manage to convince the Attorney that their case should be carried out as he feels the same, himself remembering how Indy was raped.
Cartman and Butters have gone to P.F. Chang's in stereotypical Chinese costumes and attempt to find out the Chinese's plans. They end up holding everyone hostage with Butters holding a gun after they are asked to leave for bothering a Chinese family, and soon the police turn up. Cartman believes they have come to stop the Chinese but they have actually come to stop him and Butters.
At the police station, Sergeant Yates refuses to pursue the case and says he has not seen the film. He asks if any of his colleagues have, and Mitch has, and upon remembering he breaks into tears along with the others who watched it.
The police then discover and arrest Spielberg and Lucas at the Skywalker Ranch, gang-raping an Imperial Stormtrooper in a similar fashion to the visions characters have been having involving Spielberg and Lucas physically raping Indiana Jones. The two are arrested, with the dead raped bodies of Yoda and Short Round being found in their closet.
Cartman decides he cannot let America lose its dignity even if they can stop the Chinese after Butters constantly shoots people in the "dick" - albeit accidentally. Leaving the restaurant with Butters, the police and everyone else drops the case after hearing Spielberg and Lucas have been arrested. Confused by everyone breaking into tears, Cartman and Butters leave, the latter stating he thought the film was good.
- "The China Probrem (Season 12, Episode 8) - Episode Guide". southparkstudios.com.