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"The Biggest Douche in the Universe"
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Episode no. Season 6
Episode 15
Production no. 615
Original airdate November 27, 2002
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"The Biggest Douche in the Universe" is the fifteenth episode of Season Six, and the 94th overall episode of South Park. It aired on November 27, 2002.[1]


When a famous psychic fails to help him exorcise Kenny from his body, Cartman and Chef travel to the moors of Scotland, where Chef's mom tries a little of her voodoo magic on him.[1]


SPW pic -- Spoiler Spoiler warning!
Plot details follow.

Cartman is brought into an emergency room of the hospital, with Liane by his side. The doctor later explains that Cartman he needs more time, suggesting for a time transplant.

Stan and Kyle knock on Chef's door. They ask whether they should care or not about Cartman being in the hospital. Chef suggests they go visit Cartman.

After the three walk into the hospital room, Kenny (who is in Cartman's body) responds happily to the boys coming to visit. While Cartman replies with a less thankful tone. Chef suggests they go visit John Edward, a renowned psychic on television, while the doctor insists that Cartman stay in the hospital so they can monitor his time. Liane agrees that they should go to New York to see John Edward, and tags along with them.

The boys, Liane and Chef are on an airplane heading to New York. They all excitedly put on headphones after the flight attendant announces they will be showing a movie. A movie with Rob Schneider is shown. Rob transforms into various things, ultimately he becomes a stapler. The boys take off their headphones, disinterested in the movie.

Upon arriving, the boys are line up outside for the taping of the show with John Edward. After the taping starts, John walks up to a random person and starts suggesting a person's name, starting with an “M”. He finally goes over to the boys and starts to piece together what happened with Kenny. He pieces together that Kyle's grandma died and that Kyle is supposed to be looking for white doves.

The boys walk out of the theatre, Kyle follows shortly, still paranoid. Chef says the only other idea he has is to talk to his parents. Stan and Kyle are sent back to Denver, while Liane, Chef, Cartman and Kenny go to Scotland . Kyle sees four white doves and an advertisement for Jewleeard (A private Jewish school) and refuses to go back to Colorado. Stan is left on his own.

Stan walks up to the home of John Edward and asks to speak to him. His butler tells Stan that John does not do private readings, Stan says it will be fast and he is let in. The butler presses buttons on the wall that fake the announcement and audience applause as John walks out and he thanks the non-existent audience. Stan tells him that he messed up Kyle's mind and that Kyle refuses to fly back to Colorado with him. John pulls out an index card and says that he is not liable for anything that is said, as it is for “entertainment purposes only”.

He starts arguing with Stan after he calls him a douche. John runs upstairs and locks the door to his room, threatening to call the police. Stan grabs some books about being a psychic off of John's bookshelf and takes them with him.

Chef, Liane, Cartman and Kenny are on a flight to Scotland. Kenny and Cartman are arguing with each other, it is announced they will be showing a movie on board. Rob Schneider is shown again, this time as a Wall Street executive. He suddenly becomes a carrot. Cartman and Kenny start to argue about watching the movie.

At the Jewleeard School, Stan tries to stop Kyle from going in, warning him about the flaws of John Edward. A group of people appear, who insist that John Edward is a real psychic. Stan uses the methods he learned from John's books on a woman from the crowd to show Kyle how easily he dupes people into thinking he's psychic. More people appear, fooled by Stan's "psychic abilities", even after he denies them, and proceed to ask him questions. Kyle walks into the school.

In Scotland, Chef knocks on the door of the McElroy Residence, Thomas answers, and Chef introduces him and Nellie to Liane, Cartman and Kenny. Inside, Thomas takes a quick look at Cartman and is immediately able to tell that Kenny is inside of him. Cartman stands on a chair and Nelle reenters the room, she performs an exorcism on Cartman, yelling for Kenny to get out of his body.

Stan's new psychic show, “The Other Side”, is being taped. He tells the audience that his show is all a setup. But the audience remains in shock and awe about what's happening, not buying the fact that it's all fake.

Thomas and Nellie continue the exorcism to free Kenny from Cartman. The bed starts to shake and Cartman glows yellow. The oven goes off and they stop. Kenny's soul starts flying around the house.

An ad for another Rob Schneider movie is showing, called “Da derp dee derp da teetley derpee derpee dumb”.

Back at the Jewleeard School, Kyle is in the library reading a book. Stan tries once again prove to Kyle that John Edward is fake, but Kyle does not buy it. As Stan goes to leave, John Edward threatens to sue him. Stan calls him a douche and John challenges him to a “psychic showdown”.

Meanwhile, Nelle and Thomas try to catch Kenny's soul. Thomas holds a broom, chasing it around. The soul flies into the pot roast.

Stan and John are in a psychic showdown. Stan instead talks to the audience about how John is a fraud. The audience is convinced, and applaud Stan as Kyle realises it was all a trick. Suddenly, a red spaceship crashes through the ceiling and lands in front of everyone. A group of aliens exit the ship, and tell John Edward that he has been nominated for “The Biggest Douche In The Universe”, and take him away, kicking and screaming.

Outside of the Denver International Airport, Liane, Cartman and Chef realize they left the pot roast (Kenny) at baggage claim, and rush back inside to find him. Another movie ad airs for Rob Schneider where he ends up eating the pot roast and turns into Kenny. He gets shot and is impaled by a flag pole. The movie title “Rob Schneider is Kenny” is shown.

The Biggest Douche In The Universe awards are being held in space and various nominees are shown. John Edward wins and receives a crown and a banner over his shoulder that reads “Biggest Douche”.


  615: "The Biggest Douche in the Universe" edit
Story Elements

John EdwardRob SchneiderJewleeardBiggest Douche in the Universe Committee • "The Biggest Douche in the Universe (Song)"


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