- "Your Kingdom is attacked by a bunch of heathens known as the Moors! They are too powerful for your soldiers, so you are the only hope of your realm, get out there and fight!"
The Battle for Kupa Keep is a mission in South Park: The Fractured But Whole.
After the appearance of The New Kid is chosen, the game will begin with a cutscene. The time is 627 A.D, in Ancient Zaron, the realm of the Humans and Elves are invaded by the heathens known as the Moors. Try as they might, the Fighters of Zaron cannot stop the Moors from taking over the Kingdom of Kupa Keep. With the base taken and Warrior Clyde defeated, all hope that’s left is.......The King.
The mission then begins with The New Kid sitting on their "throne" (basically the toilet in The New Kid's House bathroom). Complete the toilet mini-game to proceed, Before leaving, make sure to loot the cupboard below the sink.
After leaving the bathroom, a brief cut scene ensues, where The New Kid's father and mother are embroiled in an argument. Upon seeing The New Kid appear from the bathroom, they both stopped arguing, telling The New Kid to go outside and play, and dispersed.
You can interact with the left door first (parents' bedroom) whereby you will see The New Kid's father taking out a small chest from a drawer next to their bed, opening it and eating some 'brown stuff' stored in it. Next, proceed to your bedroom, where you can obtain some items from your closet and your toy chest (you will get items based on any DLCs purchased for the game, or rewards obtained from the Danger Deck and From Dusk till Casa Bonita). Leave your room and make your way downstairs.
Upon arriving downstairs, you will hear a knock on the door. Before exiting the house though, make your way to the kitchen first, and loot the cupboards and the fridge for some items (the leftmost cupboard will contain the Macaroni component). You will also see your mother in the kitchen by the sink crying. In the living room, loot the drawer next to the basement door, and the drawer next to the main door. Interact with the main door to leave your house.
A brief cut scene will play, whereby High Jew Elf King Kyle and Paladin Butters requests assistance to defeat the 'filthy Moorish'. Make your way outside and head right alongside High Jew Elf King Kyle and Paladin Butters. Three Moorish fighters will then appear to block the path. Simply punch them to initiate combat with them.
Battle: Moorish Fighters
This battle serves as a tutorial of sorts into the game's battle mechanics. In this battle, only one attack is given, a triple punch attack with a Knockback attribute. Simply defeat the Moorish fighters, as their attacks deal little damage due to The New Kid's superiority as King Douchebag.
Once they have been defeated, keep heading right until three Guards of the Dark Court blocks the path. Just like the first situation against the Moorish fighters, simply punch them to initiate combat with them.
Battle: Guards of the Dark Court
In this battle, apart from the triple punch attack, another attack is given, which is a fart attack, affecting a 3x1 grid with a Knockback attribute to enemies; this attack has a cooldown time of 1 turn though. Like the first battle, simply defeat them, their attacks too deal little damage due to The New Kid's superiority as King Douchebag.
Once they have been defeated, proceed to the entrance of Cartman's House, whereby they discover it is guarded by two Moorish fighters with a "lava" blockade in front of them. The fighters then called to have the 'Dragon' released, whereby The New Kid will be placed into a 'Under Attack' situation.
Battle: The Dragon
In this battle, apart from the triple punch and fart attack, another attack is given, known as the Smite of Heavenly Reign. The Moorish fighter on the dragon will fire an arrow first though, dealing minimal damage. First, defeat the two Moorish fighters below the Dragon with your fart attack (the fastest way, also this will prompt a comment that The New Kid just farted on a dragon). After the turn ends, the Dragon will prepare its Fire Breath attack, simply just move out of the attack's area during your turn. After the Fire Breath attack, your Smite of Heavenly Reign attack will be ready, however as you are preparing to initiate the attack, a car will pass by the area, prompting the battle to be temporarily paused. Once the car has passed through, use your Smite of Heavenly Reign attack to instantly defeat the Dragon, upon which a splash image will display, acknowledging King Douchebag as the Dragon Slayer.
Once the Dragon has been defeated, the Moorish fighters will proceed to retreat, deterred by The New Kid's superior abilities. Make your way to Butters' House, then open its garage door. Break the cardboard boxes inside it, the drag the ladder located on the right side to the middle. Climb up the ladders to make your way to the garage's roof. On the roof, you will then slide down on it to enter Kupa Keep; there will be a button prompt that needs to be pressed as you slide down (if it isn't pressed, The New Kid will fall off awkwardly and the mission is considered over).
Once The New Kid enters Kupa Keep's compound, a cut scene ensues, whereby Le Bard Jimmy is being held hostage by two Moorish fighters while being interrogated by another Moorish fighter about the Stick of Truth. Simply let the cut scene run through, completing the mission and leading to the next mission.
- This "mission" is only available in some of the older versions of the game, and it's not even visible in the game due to the lack of Maps app.
- The name of the mission can be viewed in the save file, when saving before reaching Cartman's backyard, the name of the mission: "The Battle for Kupa Keep" can be seen.
- Despite the mission not present in later versions, the elements were not scrapped, but was simply moved under the mission "Hero on Patrol".
- This is the only mission in the entire game that:
- Does not involve 'superhero' matters.
- Does not appear as a quest.
- A "supersized boss" has no warnings.
- Includes an "Under Attack" Boss battle.
- In the the first game, The New Kid is referred to as "The Dragonborn" (the name makes a reference to a Skyrim DLC protagonist that slays dragons as power enhancements), however, no dragons were slaughtered by The New Kid in that game. In this mission, however, he finally gets to slay a dragon with a powerful blow.