For other uses, see Ted (disambiguation).

Ted was first seen in the Season Five episode, "Cartmanland", as the proctologist who treated Kyle for his hemorrhoid. In his further appearances, his role changes to a regular position as an abortion doctor.


"Kenny Dies"

Ms. Sanders goes in for her abortion. As she and the doctor talk about the procedure, a laugh track is heard, that is revealed to be the television. Once the doctor begins the abortion we hear the procedure's sucking sounds, which are accompanied by the hum of what turns out to be a vacuum cleaner out in the hall. The doctor gives the fetal remains to a nurse, who takes them and packs them in a box, to be sent to Alder Research Group.

"The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer"

Tugger shoots himself and ends up in the hospital, where the doctor just says "Tugger needs an oil change and a new steam stack". Overjoyed at this news, Russell Crowe gets his energy back and starts beating up people in the hospital, beginning with the doctor. Wally B. shows up late in the show and joins Russell Crowe on the tugboat as they all sail away into the sunset.

"Woodland Critter Christmas"

He teaches the mountain lion cubs how to perform an abortion, so they could abort the unborn Antichrist.

"Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina"

Mrs. Garrison shows up at a shoot for "Girls Gone Wilde" and shows off her new boobs. Later on she talks to some women at a bar, then settles on the redhead to ask her what could be the cause of a woman not having her period. The redhead's answer makes Mrs. Garrison think, which leads to her visiting Planned Parenthood to abort her fetus.


Ted wears teal scrubs which consist of teal pants and a teal surgeon's shirt over a white undershirt. He can also be seen wearing a protective mask. He has brown hair and brown eyebrows.


Ted's name is revealed in "Tonsil Trouble".


Minor Characters from Season Five
The Afghan Boys | Barbara Garthunk | Buddha | Carrie Quinn Dolan | Cher and Sonny Bono | David Blaine | Donald Trump | Drew Carey | Dr. Larry | Ed Sullivan | Enrique Iglesias | Excalibur Barker | Excalibur Sorcerer | Fleetwood Mac | Frank Fun | Gary Condit | Geldon | George W. Bush | Gloria Allred | GS-401 | IRS Agents | Jack Tenorman | Jada Pinkett Smith | John and Patricia Ramsey | The Knights of Standards and Practices | Kobe Bryant | Krishna | Kyle Schwartz | Lao Tse | Laura Bush | Madonna | Mr. Farnickle | Mr. Grazier | Mrs. Farnickle | Mrs. Tenorman | Muhammad | O.J. Simpson | Old Farmer | Osama bin Laden | Predator | Radiohead | Sam, David, and Chris | Scott and Tyler | Seaman | Snoop Dogg | Some Puerto Rican Guy | Stephen and Martha Thompson | Steven | Super Best Friends | Ted | Will Smith | Zytar

See Also: List of minor characters from Season Five | Season Five

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