- For other uses, see Ted (disambiguation).
Ted was first seen in the Season Five episode, "Cartmanland", as the proctologist who treated Kyle for his hemorrhoid. In his further appearances, his role changes to a regular position as an abortion doctor.
Ms. Sanders goes in for her abortion. As she and the doctor talk about the procedure, a laugh track is heard, that is revealed to be the television. Once the doctor begins the abortion we hear the procedure's sucking sounds, which are accompanied by the hum of what turns out to be a vacuum cleaner out in the hall. The doctor gives the fetal remains to a nurse, who takes them and packs them in a box, to be sent to Alder Research Group.
Tugger shoots himself and ends up in the hospital, where the doctor just says "Tugger needs an oil change and a new steam stack". Overjoyed at this news, Russell Crowe gets his energy back and starts beating up people in the hospital, beginning with the doctor. Wally B. shows up late in the show and joins Russell Crowe on the tugboat as they all sail away into the sunset.
He teaches the mountain lion cubs how to perform an abortion, so they could abort the unborn Antichrist.
Mrs. Garrison shows up at a shoot for "Girls Gone Wilde" and shows off her new boobs. Later on she talks to some women at a bar, then settles on the redhead to ask her what could be the cause of a woman not having her period. The redhead's answer makes Mrs. Garrison think, which leads to her visiting Planned Parenthood to abort her fetus.
Ted wears teal scrubs which consist of teal pants and a teal surgeon's shirt over a white undershirt. He can also be seen wearing a protective mask. He has brown hair and brown eyebrows.
- "Cartmanland" - Treats Kyle Broflovski for his hemorrhoid.
- "Kenny Dies" - Gives a woman an abortion.
- "The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer" - Tells Russell Crowe that Tugger needs an oil change and a new steam stack.
- "Woodland Critter Christmas" - Teaches lion cubs how to give abortions, so they could abort the Anti-Christ.
- "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina" - Tells Janet Garrison that she doesn't have the organs necessary to produce eggs.
- "Marjorine" - Declares "Butters Stotch" dead (when it was actually a pig dressed up in Butters' clothes).
- "Tonsil Trouble" - (His name revealed on a badge)
- "Britney's New Look" - Seen among the crowd of people taking pictures of Britney Spears.
- "Faith Hilling"