"Swiss Colony Beef Log" is a song by Eric Cartman on the Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics album.
Background
The song is referencing a real product manufactured by the Swiss Colony brand.[1]
Lyrics
Eric Cartman:
Stockings are hung on the chimney
And the presents are under the tree.
And Mamma's in the kitchen
Making some herbal tea.
Windows are covered in frost
And the candles are all alight
But as I wander through this quiet house
Something just doesn't seem right
You see, every year the neighbors bring us
A Swiss Colony Beeflog.
But the neighbors aren't around (around, around)
And there's no beeflog to be found this year.
Christmas, isn't Christmas
Without a Swiss Colony Beeflog.
Without those cheeses and meat
I don't think I can get along.
My Mother tries to comfort me
She says 'Here son, have some eggnog'
I fucking hate eggnog seriously..
But what do I see?
Underneath the tree?
Grandma got a Swiss Colony Beeflog
Just for me! Aaah, aaaaah, aaaaaah, grandma!
Swiss Colony Beeflog, baby
That's what Christmas is all abouut!
A roly-poly Colony beeflog, lady
Makes a little boy scream and shout!
Deck the halls with with boughs of Swiss Colony.
Fa-la-la-la-la, laa-laa-laa-laaaa! .. Sweet!
References