South Park Elementary is the main school in South Park. It is one of the oldest known locations on the show, and has appeared in three incarnations.
The school has undergone two major redesigns. The second of which resulted from the school being accidentally burnt down by the boys.
In "Butt Out," the school was burnt down after Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny were smoking. They tried to hide their cigarettes from Mr. Mackey and threw them in the dumpster without putting them out. The dumpster then caught fire and burnt down the school. A new school was constructed, bearing many similarities to the old one. It is virtually identical to the old one, having the same classrooms and offices. The only differences are the cafeteria and exterior of the school, which are slightly altered.
1st Grade Classroom
Either this classroom or the 2nd Grade classroom was seen in "Dances with Smurfs" when Cartman was reciting the altered Pledge of Allegiance.
2nd Grade Classroom
Either this classroom or the 1st Grade classroom was seen in "Dances with Smurfs" when Cartman was reciting the altered Pledge of Allegiance.
3rd Grade Classroom
The 3rd Grade classroom was seen up until "Fourth Grade" in which the boys changed classes. It had various desks and green walls and a chalkboard with live-action photographs of animals around the walls. Also, the alphabet bar above the chalkboard is poorly structured, with the uppercase letters in the correct order and the lowercase letters right next to the uppercase letters running backwards. However, in "Chickenlover" and "Ike's Wee Wee," there is a message that reads "DiOsMiOhAnMaTaDoHaKeNnYbAsTaRdOs". That spells "Dios Mio, Han matado a Kenny! Bastardos!" which is Spanish for "Oh my God, they killed Kenny! You bastards!" The bar has two lowercase n's but no lowercase k.
- Cartman gets an anal probe
- Weight Gain 4000
- Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
- An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
4th Grade Classroom
The 4th Grade classroom first appeared in "Fourth Grade". It had a darker indigo decor and half-desks, and the alphabet bar above the chalkboard is written cursive lettering which the children can't understand. It had a blackboard which was destroyed in its first episode when Timmy's wheelchair shot out the front of the school (trying to go back in time). It is said to resemble a biology classroom with fish tanks, the gerbil Lemmiwinks and various plants.
Other 4th Grade Classroom
Another 4th-grade Classroom was seen but only the outside of it. It first appeared in "Eat, Pray, Queef". We know now that other people are in the classroom like many background characters that haven't been used since previous seasons such as Dog Poo, Bill & Fosse etc. This class is presumably a normal 4th-grade class while the other one is crazy and chaotic. The teacher could possibly be named Mr. Bart, as Cartman said Pete Melman is in Mr. Bart's 4th-grade class in "Bass to Mouth".
The kindergarten classroom first appeared in "Trapper Keeper" when Mr. Garrison was demoted to kindergarten teacher because of his gay preferences. It has one round desk with seats. It has brightly colored walls with various pictures (such as animals, rainbows, letters, etc.) and a chalkboard. After Mr. Garrison was appointed 4th-grade teacher in "The Death Camp of Tolerance" it wasn't seen until the tenth-season episode "Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy". In this episode the classroom appeared exactly the same, the only difference was the teacher, Ms. Stevenson. However, she commits suicide at the end of that episode. Since then two different teachers have been seen there, one in "Fatbeard" and another in "Dances with Smurfs".
The Pre-School classroom was shown in "Pre-School". It was burnt down by Trent Boyett after Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny asked him to light something on fire so they could play "fireman". The fire grew out of control, burning the classroom and disabling the teacher, Ms. Claridge, for life. It had slides, easels, and many other things. It was briefly seen again "The Death of Eric Cartman".
The Shop classroom was shown in "Tweek vs. Craig". It has wooden desks and various power tools dotted around the room. It is very dangerous and victimized a boy called Tommy who stuck his face in the sander. Kenny had an accident in there and was thrown into a box of rusty old nails.
Home Economics Classroom
The Home Ec. classroom was much like a normal classroom except the desks were in one line. It first appeared in "Tweek vs. Craig." Kenny was the only male student since he wanted to avoid getting killed in shop class and it also allowed him to be surrounded by girls and learn how to cook real food.
4th Grade "B" Classroom
This classroom appeared in "Proper Condom Use" when the boys were sent in a separate room to learn about sex education with Mr. Mackey while the girls stayed in the normal 4th Grade class. It had posters of sex education and a darker decor.
Sixth Grade Classroom
The Sixth Grade Classroom appeared in "Breast Cancer Show Ever" when the students went to watch the fight between Eric Cartman and Wendy Testaburger. It has yellow walls and a blueish greenish floor. The students sit at wooden desks with green chairs. There is a blackboard and above the blackboard is a History Timeline, to the right side of the blackboard is a wooden cupboard with posters on and to the left is various documents on the walls, a globe, and a paper towel dispenser.
Mrs. Streibel teaches the art class here. It has a cyan decor with a blackboard and round tables with plastic tablecloths. The classroom is filled with art supplies, such as easels and pottery wheels. While most of the kids seem to enjoy the class, the boys find it to be rather "gay".
Audio Visual Department Room
This room is only seen in "Quest for Ratings," it has a desk and several posters as soon as you enter and various gadgets scattered about in the background. The studios are probably to the right of the office and are rather large with a lot of expensive equipment. It's run by Mr. Meryl.
Student Conference Room 1F
Like the room above this room is only seen in "Quest for Ratings" and from the outside, it has a set of wooden double doors. The interior contains a rectangle table with 6 chairs (2 each side and 1 on the top) and to the bottom of the room, it has a brown leather couch with a chair and a TV.
First seen in "Conjoined Fetus Lady", the Gym is used for teaching physical education. Chef was the PE teacher until his death (PE classes have not been seen since), and had the kids play dodgeball or play with "the big parachute". When the children took over the town only to part ways in "The Wacky Molestation Adventure", Stan and Kyle's less civilized yet more benevolent tribe made their headquarters here. In "Gluten Free Ebola", Butters burnt down the gym for unknown reasons, and thus is not allowed back into the school.
The Computer Lab
The computer lab was first seen in "Make Love, Not Warcraft" when the boys were trying to level up their characters. It has turquoise colored walls, with a dark gray floor and white ceiling panels. The classroom layout is 3 sides with desks and computers and 1 side with a whiteboard. The room is at the side of the school as it has a window; the door is brown with a mesh panel to the side. The computer screensaver is the South Park Cows logo on a green background. It was later seen in "The Ungroundable". Mr. Mackey was teaching the class as they played Call of Duty: World at War and Wendy was editing her picture in "The Hobbit".
The Library has featured prominently in three episodes, "Chef Goes Nanners", "Ginger Kids", "Breast Cancer Show Ever". In the appearances in "Chef Goes Nanners" and "Ginger Kids" it had wooden bookcases full of books and tables and chairs. In "Ginger Kids" a more open bit of the library was seen which included a wooden speakers stand with 'SP' etched on, chairs, tables with globes and various other bric a bric on it. In "Breast Cancer Show Ever" the room was shown to have a more 'grimmer' decor than in previous episodes with gray walls and a patterned blue carpet. The room was also used as the detention hall in the same episode.
The Theater has been featured in Helen Keller The Musical, Erection Day and Royal Pudding. It has been the setting for school talent shows, holiday plays and class performances about the dangers of Tooth Decay.
The basketball court first made its appearance in a cameo in "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce" where you only saw a bit of the hall. It wasn't shown again until "Elementary School Musical" where there was a game versus a rival team. It had wood paneled flooring, bleachers, two basketball hoops, a large scoreboard and was shown with pale green walls. There was also lots of posters and emblems on the walls.
- Main article: South Park Elementary Cafeteria
The cafeteria is featured in many episodes as when the students need to discuss something or contact Chef. It has oblong shaped lunch tables, and although it often looks like they can only accommodate 2 in the panning shots, they can have up to 8 people on a single table. To collect food you go in one door to collect the food and exit via the other, the kitchen is inside this room. The cafeteria has several entrances and exits. On the wall opposite the serving counter is a "Hot Lunch Menu" which is an obvious reference to the sexual act "Hot Lunch".
This room, shown in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, is where Mr. Mackey teaches children about the dangers of drugs and swearing. It has blue walls and a pale pink carpet. The furniture includes a piano, two blackboards, sewing machines, a water fountain and lots of chairs. To date, this room hasn't made any other cameos.
Detention hall is usually shown in the cafeteria mostly when children are getting into trouble. However, in "Breast Cancer Show Ever", Cartman and Clyde serve detention in the library. Detention hall is controlled by Mr. Mackey.
Shown in Bass to Mouth, It has one computer inside it and is only used on Thursdays, so Wikileaks was able to gain access to it without interruption. It has stars on one wall and a movable chalkboard, as well as music stands.
- Main article: South Park Elementary Bathrooms
The bathrooms are seen often. In "The List," the boys shared the girls' list of the cutest boys with each other by taping it on the bathroom's wall. In "T.M.I.", Eric Cartman and several other boys measured the penises of every boy in their class in the boys bathroom. In "Quest for Ratings", the girls bathroom is seen briefly in a report by the boys about the dangers of cough syrup. In "Butterballs", the boys bathroom is used by bullies to confront the individual who they are bullying.
This is shown outside in the playground. It's used for rugby games against other towns.
Mr. Mackey's office has the word "COUNSELOR" on the front of its door. Craig is usually seen sitting in a chair outside it. On the inside, it has a seat in which the pupil would sit. It also has posters up and Mr. Mackey's certificate to be a school counselor. In "Insheeption" the office is shown to be filled with useless stuff. Subsequently, Mr. Mackey is declared to be a hoarder.
For the worst behavior, pupils are sent to the principal's office. It has (obviously) the principal's desk, and a chair to the left of it, where Mr. Mackey usually sits. On the wall, there is a poster depicting a monkey and the caption, "Hang in there!" It also has a bookcase. As seen in "Breast Cancer Show Ever" it overlooks the school's parking lot.
First seen in "Conjoined Fetus Lady," this is where the students go when they are injured. It has a hospital bed, medical apparatus, health posters, and a desk.
The Janitor's Closet was featured in "Breast Cancer Show Ever" when Cartman tried to get Wendy to call off the fight. It has cleaning supplies, a mop, a bucket, and a desk with a chair in it and a noticeboard above the desk.
- Main article: List of South Park Cows Sports Teams
South Park Elementary has many sports teams, including a football team, a basketball team, and a cheerleading team. They had a wrestling team, but it was disbanded in "W.T.F.".
- Main article: Cheerleading Squad
- A lot of people who worked for the school died: Chef, Ms. Crabtree, Ms. Ellen, Ms. Stevenson, and Ms. Choksondik.
South Park Elementary Closed Circuit Television
In "Quest for Ratings," it appears that the school has its own private television station that broadcasted Craig's show "Animals Close-Up With a Wide-Angle Lens" and the boys' show "Super School News." "Super School News" was re-branded as "Sexy Action School News" later on and "Animals Close-Up With a Wide-Angle Lens" was replaced by "Animals Close-Up With a Wide-Angle Lens Wearing Hats." Also, as seen at the end of the episode and in later episodes, the announcements are made over a P.A. system.
- "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe" - The Boys manage to get out of school because Ike was kidnapped.
- "Weight Gain 4000" - The students are informed about Kathie Lee Gifford's visit.
- "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride" - The big football match occurs here.
- "An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig" - The science projects are shown off here.
- "Death" - Stan fails to get help in his query about assisted suicide.
- "Pinkeye" - A costume contest occurs here.
- "Starvin' Marvin" - Mr. Garrison tries to get children to give things for the canned food drive. The Boys are later told off when they show off Starvin' Marvin.
- "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo" - The politically correct Christmas play occurs here.
- "Damien" - Damien Thorn joins the third Grade class and is bullied.
- "Tom's Rhinoplasty" - Ms. Ellen starts teaching the class in Mr. Garrison's absence.
- "Mecha-Streisand" - Leonard Maltin comes to speak to Chef about Barbra Streisand.
- "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut" - The Boys come to ask Mr. Mackey about Cartman's behavior.
- "Chickenlover" - Officer Barbrady is sent here to learn to read.
- "Ike's Wee Wee" - Mr. Mackey loses his job after giving out marijuana.
- "Conjoined Fetus Lady" - Kyle meets Nurse Gollum here.
- "The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka" - The boys are given a report to do about Vietnam.
- "City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)" - The parents visit Mr. Mackey to try and find their kids.
- "Summer Sucks" - School finishes for summer.
- "Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls" - The class is told about the film festival.
- "Chickenpox" - Kyle is left as the only kid in class after everyone gets chickenpox.
- "Roger Ebert Should Lay off the Fatty Foods" - The class learn about Barnaby Jones and haikus, while Mr. Mackey and Nurse Gollum try to find out what happened at the planetarium.
- "Clubhouses" - Mr. Mackey tries to give advice about Randy and Sharon's relationship.
- "Chef Aid" - Chef catches Cartman singing Stinky Britches.
- "Spookyfish" - The boys ask Chef for help about the two Cartmans.
- "Gnomes" - The boys are given a report to do on modern culture with Tweek.
- "Rainforest Shmainforest" - Ms. Stevens comes here to speak about Getting Gay With Kids.
- "The Succubus" - Chef is replaced with Mr. Derp.
- "Jakovasaurs" - Mr. Garrison struggles to teach when Jakovasaur kids join the class.
- "Tweek vs. Craig" - The fight between Tweek and Craig happens here.
- "Sexual Harassment Panda" - The school suffers money issues when kids keep suing the school.
- "Chinpokomon" - Mr. Garrison struggles to teach his class when they all start speaking Japanese because of the Chinpokomon fad.
- "Hooked on Monkey Fonics" - Mark Cotswolds joins the class.
- "Starvin' Marvin in Space" - The boys are taken from here by the government.
- "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" - Mr. Garrison sings Merry Fucking Christmas.
- "World Wide Recorder Concert" - The class practise for the concert.
- South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut - The kids start using their bad language at school.
- "The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000" - The boys try to get Kenny's tooth out in the playground.
- "Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000 - Cartman's "hate crime" happens here.
- "Timmy 2000" - Mr. Garrison struggles to cope when all the kids get boring after taking Ritalin.
- "Cartman Joins NAMBLA" - The North American Marlon Brando Look-Alikes meet here.
- "Cherokee Hair Tampons" - Mr. Garrison is fired after alleged sexual conduct with a student.
- "Chef Goes Nanners" - The class is tasked with debating on the South Park flag.
- "Something You Can Do with Your Finger" - Fingerbang's video is filmed in the playground.
- "Probably" - Cartman rallies all the children to start a new church.
- "Fourth Grade" - The boys move into the 4th grade.
- "Trapper Keeper" - Mr. Garrison becomes the kindergarten teacher and struggles to elect a class president.
- "Fat Camp" - Ms. Choksondik accidentally allows the class to dissect a manatee.
- "The Wacky Molestation Adventure" - The teachers are arrested for molestation.
- "It Hits the Fan" - The kids learn about the acceptable usage of the word "shit".
- "Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow" - The Earth Day people visit to get the children involved.
- "Proper Condom Use" - The children begin to learn sex education.
- "Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants" - The class is tasked with sending one dollar to Afghanistan.
- "How to Eat with Your Butt" - Kenny and Cartman pull a prank during photo day.
- "The Entity" - Kyle Schwartz becomes a frequent distraction in class.
- "Here Comes the Neighborhood" - Token is made fun of for being rich and having a better project.
- "Kenny Dies" - Stan and Kyle are informed of Kenny's illness.
- "Jared Has Aides" - The boys try to get Butters fat by feeding him all the food Chef has.
- "Professor Chaos" - Professor Chaos steals the teachers erasers in an attempt to be more evil.
- "Free Hat" - The boys have their rally on saving movies from their directors here.
- "Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society" - The class return to school, with Bebe now having breasts, attracting the boys.
- "Child Abduction is Not Funny" - Mr. Mackey struggles to teach with all the parents in class.
- "The Death Camp of Tolerance" - Mr. Garrison is reinstated as class teacher and performs sexual acts with Mr. Slave to try and get fired again.
- "My Future Self n' Me" - Stan finds out about Future Butters.
- "Toilet Paper" - Mrs. Streibel gives the boys detention.
- "I'm a Little Bit Country" - The class are given an assignment on the founding fathers after they pretend to protest to get out of school.
- "Fat Butt and Pancake Head" - Cartman and Hennifer Lopez do their report here.
- "Lil' Crime Stoppers" - The boys struggle to stay awake in class after working with the police all night.
- "Red Man's Greed" - The town give the Native Americans their things.
- "South Park is Gay!" - Kyle is beaten up for being straight.
- "Grey Dawn" - The AARP attack here.
- "Casa Bonita" - Kyle tells Cartman he can go to Casa Bonita if Butters can't go.
- "All About Mormons" - Gary Harrison joins the class.
- "Butt Out" - Butt Out! come to promote anti-smoking.
- "Raisins" - Wendy breaks up with Stan.
- "Up the Down Steroid" - Timmy speaks to Mr. Mackey about Jimmy.
- "You Got F'd in the A" - Stan asks the Goth Kids to join his dance troupe.
- "Goobacks" - The Gooback kids join the class.
- "Douche and Turd" - The South Park Cows are forced to change their mascot.
- "Pre-School" - The boys find out Trent Boyett has been released from juvenile hall after they got him sent there back in pre-school.
- "Quest for Ratings" - The boys try to make a good news show.
- "Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset" - The girls invite boys to their party.
- "Cartman's Incredible Gift" - Kyle confronts Cartman about his psychic powers.
- "Woodland Critter Christmas" - Cartman tells the story here.
- "Die Hippie, Die" - Cartman plays with his Tonka RC Bulldozer in front of Kyle outside.
- "Wing" - Ms. Garrison tells the class about Token's singing.
- "Best Friends Forever" - Kenny plays Heaven vs. Hell here.
- "The Death of Eric Cartman" - The boys all ignore Cartman.
- "Erection Day" - The talent show happens here.
- "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow" - Stan discusses with Cartman about Beaverton.
- "Marjorine" - Marjorine joins the class.
- "Follow That Egg!" - The class are given a parenting task.
- "Ginger Kids" - Cartman gives a presentation about ginger kids.
- "Bloody Mary" - Randy is forced to give a speech here about the dangers of drinking.
- "The Return of Chef" - The boys and Ms. Garrison speak to Chef about him leaving.
- "Cartoon Wars Part I" - Ms. Garrison gives a lesson on Muslim Sensitivity Training.
- "ManBearPig" - Al Gore comes to speak about ManBearPig.
- "Tsst" - Mr. Mackey speaks to Liane about Cartman's behaviour.
- "Make Love, Not Warcraft" - The boys play World of Warcraft here.
- "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce" - Mr. Mackey investigates when someone does a poo in the urinal.
- "Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy" - Cartman becomes a hall monitor.
- "Go God Go" - Ms. Garrison teaches evolution.
- "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson" - Cartman makes fun of Dr. David Nelson.
- "Cartman Sucks" - Cartman shows the picture to the class.
- "Lice Capades" - The boys investigate after the school holds a lice inspection.
- "The Snuke" - Baahir Hassan Abdul Hakeem joins the class.
- "D-Yikes!" - Ms. Garrison yells at the boys after a bad date.
- "Le Petit Tourette" - Kyle discovers Cartman's tourettes.
- "The List" - The boys find the list.
- "Tonsil Trouble" - The teachers speak to the boys about Cartman's illness.
- "Major Boobage" - Mr. Mackey speaks to the class about getting high.
- "Canada on Strike" - Mr. Mackey holds an assembly for Canada Appreciation Day.
- "Eek, A Penis!" - Cartman becomes teacher temporarily so Ms. Garrison can get her feelings straight.
- "Breast Cancer Show Ever" - Cartman's constant ridicule of Wendy and breast cancer eventually leads to him being beaten up by her.
- "Elementary School Musical" - The boys try to cope when the High School Musical fad takes over the school.
- "The Ungroundable" - The vamp fad takes over the school, angering the Goth Kids.
- "The Ring" - The boys tell Kenny about Tammy Warner giving someone a blowjob.
- "The Coon" - Cartman tries to find out who Mysterion is.
- "Eat, Pray, Queef" - Butters is queefed on.
- "Fishsticks" - The Fishsticks Joke spreads around the school.
- "Fatbeard" - Cartman informs the boys of his plans for a pirate crew.
- "Butters' Bottom Bitch" - Butters gets his first kiss.
- "W.T.F." - After watching W.W.E., the boys decide to join a wrestling club.
- "The F Word" - The mayor berates the boys for their use of the word fag.
- "Dances with Smurfs" - Cartman takes over the morning announcements and uses them to spread hate speech about Wendy.
- "Pee" - Cartman imagines a world where he is the only non-minority.
- "Sexual Healing" - The class is tested to see if any of them are sex addicts.
- "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs" - The class are given The Catcher in the Rye to read.
- "You Have 0 Friends" - Wendy questions Stan's Facebook status.
- "200" - The town speak to Stan after he insults Tom Cruise.
- "Poor and Stupid" - Cartman tells the boys his dream of being a NASCAR driver.
- "Insheeption" - Stan is confronted about his hoarding.
- "Crème Fraiche" - Randy becomes the school chef.
- "HUMANCENTiPAD" - The boys play with their iPads.
- "Funnybot" - Jimmy hosts the comedy awards show.
- "Royal Pudding" - Mr. Mackey tries to do a performance about Tooth Decay.
- "T.M.I." - Cartman mistakes the height differentials chart for the penis size chart.
- "City Sushi" - Tuong Lu Kim and Junichi Takiyama give an assembly on Asian diversity.
- "You're Getting Old" - Seen at the end when Stan eats his lunch, surrounded by what he sees as shit.
- "Ass Burgers" - Cartman tries to frame the school for giving him Asperger's Syndrome.
- "Bass to Mouth" - Wikileaks wrecks havoc through the school.
- "1%" - The class is forced to do gym class because of Cartman's grade.
- "A History Channel Thanksgiving" - David Sawitzky comes to speak about Native Americans.
- "The Poor Kid" - Cartman researches who the poor kid is after Kenny is sent away.
- "Reverse Cowgirl" - Betsy Donovan comes to berate Clyde about leaving the toilet seat up.
- "Cash For Gold" - Cartman buys jewellery from the students.
- "Faith Hilling" - The class is taught about the dangers of meming.
- "Butterballs" - Stan leads a campaign to stop bullying.
- "Cartman Finds Love" - Nichole joins the class.
- "Sarcastaball" - The boys practice Sarcastaball.
- "Raising the Bar" - Token tells Kyle his idea for a documentary about Cartman.
- "Insecurity" - Cartman confronts Kyle about his Insecurity.
- "Going Native" - Butters lashes out at the boys.
- "A Scause For Applause" - The teachers and students start wearing scauses.
- "Let Go, Let Gov" - Cartman shows off Shitter.
- "Informative Murder Porn" - Peter Mullen speaks about murder porn.
- "World War Zimmerman" - Cartman tries to make peace with Token.
- "Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers" - The Goths speak about Henrietta Biggle joining the Emo kids.
- "Taming Strange" - Mr. Mackey introduces Intellilink to the school.
- "Ginger Cow" - Cartman tells the school about the ginger cow.
- "Black Friday" - Stan comes to try and recruit the goth kids.
- "The Hobbit" - Wendy's attempts of stopping photoshop leads to her being unpopular.
- "Gluten Free Ebola" - The boys are hated after they return from their failed start up company.
- "The Cissy" - Cartman gets his own bathroom when claiming to be "transginger".
- "The Magic Bush" - The video of Laura Tucker spreads round the school.
- "Freemium Isn't Free" - Jimmy shows Kyle the Terrance and Phillip game.
- "Grounded Vindaloop" - Butters walks round the school believing himself to be in virtual reality.
- "Cock Magic" - The boys dismiss the girls' volleyball games.
- "REHASH" - The boys discuss PewDiePie.
- "Stunning and Brave" - PC Principal becomes the principal of the school.
- "Where My Country Gone?" - Mr. Garrison is fired after insulting the Canadians.
- "The City Part of Town" - The inspector comes here.
- "You're Not Yelping" - Cartman bullies David Rodriguez.
- "Safe Space" - PC Principal attempts to stop cyberbullying.
- "Tweek x Craig" - Wendy gives a presentation about Yaoi, leading people to believe Tweek and Craig are a couple.
- "Naughty Ninjas" - PC Principal calls the police on Leslie Meyers after she talks in assembly.
- "Sponsored Content" - PC Principal tries to control the school newspaper.
- "Truth and Advertising" - Mr. Mackey tells Kyle that PC Principal, Jimmy and Leslie are missing.
- "PC Principal Final Justice" - Kyle tells the boys that Jimmy's dead.
- "Member Berries" - The town attend the girls' volleyball team to see who will sit out the national anthem.
- "Skank Hunt" - After the trolling continues, the girls all break up with their boyfriends.
- "The Damned" - PC Principal investigates Cartman's sudden absence from social media.
- "Wieners Out" - Butters leads the Wieners Out movement.
- "Douche and a Danish" - Heidi tries to stop the gender war and help the Danish.
- "Oh, Jeez" - Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby come to teach how to be a gentlemen.
- "Members Only" - Mr. Garrison visits PC Principal after being elected.
- "White People Renovating Houses" - Cartman breaks up with Heidi.
- "Put It Down" - Cartman tries to spread suicide awareness.
- "Holiday Special" - The children rage after the Columbus Day holiday is cancelled.
- "Franchise Prequel" - The boys confront Butters about spreading fake news.
- "Hummels & Heroin" - Marcus Preston leads a rally against the people supplying drugs to kids entertainers.
- "Sons A Witches" - The boys discuss the witch.
- "Doubling Down" - Kyle tries to convince the boys to help Heidi get out of a toxic relationship.
- "Moss Piglets" - Heidi complains after being forced to judge the special education science fair.
- "SUPER HARD PCness" - Strong Woman becomes vice principal.
- "Splatty Tomato" - Bob White confronts the principal about spreading political messages.
- "Dead Kids" - The school is hit by frequent school shootings.
- "The Problem with a Poo" - PC Principal and Strong Woman try to cover up how Strong Woman got pregnant.
- "Tegridy Farms" - Kyle tries to stop the vaping epidemic.
- "The Scoots" - Kenny speaks to Mr. Mackey about being left out on Halloween.
- "Time To Get Cereal" - Harrison Yates investigates the death of Colin Brooks.
- "Nobody Got Cereal?" - The boys hide out from the police here.
- "Buddha Box" - Cartman tries to deal with his anxiety.
The New Kid is sent to call the factions, but finds out Craig has got detention. Cartman instructs him to break into school and free Craig. During the quest, the New Kid is forced to fight many hallway monitors, all of whom are ginger.
The Goth Kids are found outside the school, where the New Kid manages to recruit them to either the humans or the elves. The New Kid and his chosen faction attack the school to retrieve the stick from the other faction. Here, they discover the ginger hallway monitors turning into Nazi zombies. The boys reach the classroom and the final battle begins, either against Cartman or Kyle. The boys then discover that Clyde has taken the stick.
For Big Game Huntin' With Jimbo, the New Kid needs to fight bacteria found in the basement of the school.
A flag for the Timmy express can be found outside.
- Bill Allen - Friended after the New Kid fights whoever is attacking them.
- Fosse McDonald - Friended after the New Kid fights whoever is attacking them.
- Lemmiwinks - Found in the 5th Grade classroom.
- Michael - Friended after completing PTA Problems.
- Pete Thelman - Friended after completing PTA Problems.
- Henrietta Biggle - Friended after completing PTA Problems.
- Firkle Smith - Friended after completing PTA Problems.
- Poodlesaurus - Can be found in the vent in the first hallway.
- Pterdaken - Found in the openable locker next to either DogPoo or Tweek.
- Donkeytron - Found in the oven in the kitchen.
- Witch Robes - Found behind a log to the left of the school (gnome powder required).
- Necromancer Hood - Looted from one of the kids attacking an ally when the New Kid first goes upstairs.
- Necromancer Robes - Looted from a Nazi Zombie Ginger Kid found before entering the boiler room.
- Necromancer Gloves - Looted from one of the kids by the exit of the cafeteria.
- Mace of Restoration - Found in the Hallway Monitor Boss's Locker
- Holy Hammer of Smiting - Obtained after defeating the Nazi Zombie Ginger Kommandant in the basement.
- Dodgeball - Looted from one of the hall monitors in Detention Sentence.
- Basketball - Looted from one of the already defeated kids in the cafeteria.
- Laser Sword - Found inside the yellow chest in the Fourth Grade classroom.
- Star Wand - Found inside the yellow chest in the Fourth Grade classroom.
- Sword Breaker - Found inside the yellow chest in the Fourth Grade classroom.
- Sica Dagger of the Faithful - Found inside the yellow chest in the Fourth Grade classroom.
|South Park Elementary Staff|
|Richard Adler | Ms. Claridge | Mr. Derp | Mr. Garrett | Mr. Mackey | Mr. Meryl | Mrs. Nelson | Mrs. Streibel | Mr. Venezuela | Mr. Wyland | Mitchell | Pearl | Recess Supervisor | Girls' Volleyball Coach | P.C. Principal | Strong Woman|
|Chef | Mr. Conners | Ms. Choksondik | Ms. Crabtree | Ms. Ellen | Mr. Garrison | Mr. Marsh | Mr. Slave | Ms. Stevenson | Principal Victoria|