South Park Archives

The South Park Crime Unit, also known as South Park Junior Detectives, was a crime solving group started by Stan Marsh, who wanted the boy's play time to mean something, and to protect and serve South Park, during the episode "Lil' Crime Stoppers".

This goal was shared by all members of the SPCU which is what made the group an uncorrupted police unit. The members of the SPCU were Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick. Liane Cartman played a minor role as their secretary, however she did not work on any of the cases.

South Park Crime Unit operated originally out of Cartman's basement, before becoming stationed in Park County Police Station.

Members[]

Stan Marsh[]

Stan acted as the leader of the group, likely the lieutenant. Stan's SPCU uniform was his trademark hat, a white T-shirt, and a Black Coat with his badge of the left breast. Stan's gun was his hand and he made "bang bang" sounds when firing. Stan wore the same jacket in "Raisins" when trying to win Wendy Testaburger back.

Kyle Broflovski[]

Kyle acted as the second in command, usually playing the role of the main detective. Kyle's SPCU uniform was his trademark green hat, a white T-shirt, and a brown overcoat (similar to what detectives wore in movies). Like Stan, he wore his badge of his left breast. Like Stan, his gun was his hand, which he made "bang bang" sounds when firing.

Eric Cartman[]

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SPCU's first headquarters, Cartman's basement.

Cartman acted as the group's "Bad Cop", and primary interrogator. Cartman acted with an out of character sense of respect and duty, unlike how he was when he was Barbrady's deputy in "Chickenlover". Cartman seemed to have Butters in mind as a primary suspect for Sara Peterson's Missing Doll and was intent on Butters giving a semen sample to prove his innocence. Cartman's SPCU uniform consisted of his trademark hat, a white shirt with a loose purple tie, and a blue unbuttoned coat. His yellow toy pistol had the butt of the gun visible behind his badge, which he wore on his left breast.

Kenny McCormick[]

Kenny was the "Good Cop" during Cartman's interrogations, as well as the team's sketch artist (although all he ever drew was stick figures with large breasts, which he hung on his board "Kenny's Most Wanted"). Kenny's SPCU uniform consisted of his Orange Parka, a cowboy themed holster with a toy pistol, which judging from Kenny's muffled gun noises may imply his was silenced. Kenny was the only team member to wear his badge on his right breast.

Liane Cartman[]

The team's secretary while they operated out of Cartman's basement. Liane's role to escort people to the boy's and to provide them with snacks, namely cookies and coffee.

Cases[]

The Missing Pie[]

Detective Kenny found that Duke, the old couple's dog ate the pie. However, Stan, Kyle and Eric all over analyzed the simplicity of the crime and accused the husband of premeditating to kill his elderly woman wife, in order to eat the pie.

Sarah Peterson's Missing Doll[]

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Sarah Peterson comes to the boys for help finding her doll.

The case that made the Crime Unit famous. The case was again overanalyzed by the four detectives:

  • Stan theorized the thief sat out the window cutting his hands to Sarah playing with her doll.
  • Kyle suspected the thief would use a shovel to decapitate the doll's corpse to make it harder to identify.
  • Cartman suggested searching for semen samples in the room.

When Agent Tucker (possibly Craig) and the FBI showed up (other 4th graders playing FBI), the group returned to their headquarters to question Butters. Butters had nothing to confess, and Cartman sent him to the bathroom to give a semen sample. Then the Crime Unit received a tip that a doll was found near Fosse's house. Inside Bill and Fosse had Sarah Peterson's doll and were playing gynecologists, after learning the boys knew they had the doll they used the doll as a hostage.

After the FBI group intervened again, the South Park Crime Unit charged the back door, Stan and Kyle had both hands as pistol, Kenny had his revolver, and Cartman had his single pistol until he went for the kill (slow-motion shot). The group then retrieved the doll safely (though Cartman claims they lost "many good men". Reward for this case they each got an official Junior Detective badge from Lieutenant Dawson.

The Methlab and Corrupt Cops[]

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The shootout at the methlab.

After becoming official Junior Detectives, the boys, ignorant to what a meth lab was, stormed the front door. Stan knocked on the door and simply said "Police, open up." The men inside fired at the door above their heads, and through a series of freak accidents, killed themselves, while inflicting major damage on townsfolk and buildings around them.

After the Meth Lab incident, detectives Murphy and Jenkins taunted the "super cops" and divulged them on how they keep evidence from the crimes. Detective Hopkins was the only officer in Park County who was on the boys' side. None of the SPCU detectives report this, though this may have been out of intimidation, or because they didn't take them serious.

While the boys were showering in the station, Kyle wanted to leave the crime unit. Stan was agitated by this, telling reminding Kyle he wanted to help serve and protect South Park too. Again, out of character, Cartman stood up for Kyle stating "Broflovski's a good cop!"

The next morning Lieutenant Dawson assigned the SPCU to investigate a Strip Club filled with Cop Killers, by the suspected masterminds of the drug syndicate. For this assignment they would go in undercover (all they did was remove their badges from visibility). After the briefing, Detectives Murphy and Jenkins approached the SPCU and asked if they told Dawson of their "bonus money". Kyle stated "no." and they walked off, and the two stated "They're lying." "They're dead."

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Gino's men, in another shootout.

At the Strip Club, it was revealed (while the SPCU was off screen) that the McCormick's house would begin making Meth again, implying Kenny's family made meth before for this drug boss, named Gino. Gino offered the boys to join their drug family, until one of the henchmen realized they were cops.

A shoot out ensued, with the boys taking cover and firing back with their fake guns, not realizing the danger of the situation. Outside, Lieutenant Dawson sent in Detectives, Jenkins, Murphy and Hopkins to assist the boys.

Here it was announced Murphy and Jenkins were working with Gino. After a short ceasefire, the drug dealers and the detectives began firing at each other. Hopkins easily dropped Gino' men, until Detective Jenkins shot Hopkins in his arm, injuring him. Following this, Murphy betrays Jenkins and Gino, killing both with a single head shot.

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The boys playing laundromat owners.

With no one else left standing with a gun, and at his mercy, Murphy announced he was in business alone, and the only person he couldn't trust was himself. With that shocking revelation, he shot himself.

Outside Lieutenant Dawson yelled at the SPCU for their methods, but then promoted them stating "I'll probably regret this." Kyle, Eric and Kenny looked at Stan nervously, who stated "I think I have a better idea..." and with that the South Park Crime Unit was dissolved, as the boys went back to play laundromat owners.

Aftermath[]

After the South Park Crime Unit was dissolved, it was apparent that all ties to the police force were severed. In "The Coon" it was shown that Kenny and Cartman still had a sense of justice and still wanted to help South Park, this time each taking up the role of vigilantes as the Coon and Mysterion. In "Coon 2: Hindsight", Kyle and Stan joined them in their super hero crusade as Human Kite and Toolshed, respectively.