Main Quests

Name Description
KupaKeepRaid.png
The New Kid in Town
Call The Banners.png
Call the Banners The Stick of Truth has been taken, and you must round up Kupa Keep's best fighters to help take it back.
GateCrasher2.png
Gate Crasher Token's security guard won't let you in to see him.
Hot Coffee.png
Hot Coffee Tweek can't come play until he finishes his chores, and needs your help.
Craig Detention.png
Detention Sentence Craig is in detention, and you must break him out so he can help retake the Stick of Truth.
The Bard The Bard has the stick at the Inn of the Giggling Donkey.
It's Late It's after bed time. You have to get home.
Alien cockpit.jpg
Alien Abduction You wake up after having been abducted by aliens.
Midget Bikini.png
Gain New Allies The elves took the stick at night! Dirty little cheaters.
Kyle Elf Throne.jpg
Nonconformist You have to be a confomist and act like a Goth if you want their help. Hypocrites.
PTA problems.jpeg
PTA Problems Randy needs help proving what is actually going on at the mall.
Attack School2.jpg
Attack the School Its time to raid the school and get the stick back.
Go Back Home Once again, it's past your bed time. Hurry home!
Underpants Gnomes quest.png
Defeat the Underpants Gnomes The Underpants Gnomes are taking your underwear!
Forging alliances.jpg
Forging Alliances We need more help if we are going to take down Clyde.
Recruit The Girls.png
Recruit the Girls Time to see if joining the fight sparkles with the girls.
Pose as bebes boyfriend.jpg
Pose as Bebe's Boyfriend Time to prove Monica is a two-faced skank.
Unplanned parenthood quest.jpg
Unplanned Parenthood (Quest) Time for a makeover so you can find the real two-faced whore.
Canada12.jpg
Heading North The abortion records are written in some sort of Orcish.
8-bit Canada.jpg
O Canada (Quest) You must find someone who speaks this mysterious language.
Beat Up Clyde.jpg
Beat Up Clyde Time to kick Clyde's ass!
Betrayal From Within.png
Betrayal From Within "Princess Kenny is a two-faced "bitch" just like Monica and Heidi!"

Side Quests

Name Description
Big Game Huntin' With Jimbo.jpg
Big Game Huntin' With Jimbo Jimbo challenges The New Kid to hunt and kill seven of the most dangerous creatures in and around South Park.
Defeat ManBearPig
Hankey2 opt.jpg
Dropping the Kids Off Mr. Hankey's kids have run off while their mother was getting drunk. Rather than help solve the shit domestic dispute, go find the kids.
Find Jesus quest.png
Find Jesus
Flower For a Princess Every fair maiden needs a flower.
Hide and Seek.png
Hide 'n' Seek Play hide and seek with the kindergarteners around town.
Jimmy magical songs.jpg
Magical Songs Jimmy won't be a proper bard until he gets a flute to play inspiring battle tunes. Help him get one.
ManBearPig Quest.png
ManBearPig (Quest) Al Gore is on the hunt for ManBearPig once again, but he needs your help tracking him down.
Towerofpeace2.jpg
Mongolian Beef Tuong Lu Kim tells you to get rid of the Mongolians by beating up their kids in the Tower of Peace.
Mr. Slave's Package.png
Mr. Slave's Package Deliver Mr Slave's package from the post office.
Nazi Zombie Bounty
Phase One quest.jpg
Phase One Retrieve underpants for the Underpants Gnomes.
Rats in the Cellar Rats have infested the cellar beneath Skeeter's bar. Only a true hero could slay rats in the cellar.
Restoring the Balance.jpg
Restoring the Balance DogPoo asks the New Kid to destroy five banners the humans put up around town.
THP1.jpg
The Homeless Problem Find the various homeless camps and chase away the homeless in town to improve the town's image.
The She-Ogre.jpg
The She-Ogre Stan has lost his iPhone to an ogre, and he needs your help to get it back!
Timmy Express.png
The Timmy Express You have to collect 12 flags with the Timmy Express logo on them.
Al Gore graph.jpg
Unfriend Al Gore Al Gore is spamming your Facebook. Go to his base and get him to stop...by beating the crap out of him.
Vulcan Around.jpg
Vulcan Around Find Kevin Stoley's dad's iPad near the church and return it to him.
Wasted Cache
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.