South Park Archives


South Park Archives

Main Quests

Name Description
The New Kid in Town Cartman and the rest of Kupa Keep need your help defending against the Elves.
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Call the Banners The Stick of Truth has been taken, and you must round up Kupa Keep's best fighters to help take it back.
Gate Crasher Tolkien's security guard won't let you in to see him.
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Hot Coffee Tweek can't come play until he finishes his chores, and needs your help.
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Detention Sentence Craig is in detention, and you must break him out so he can help retake the Stick of Truth.
The Bard The Bard has the stick at the Inn of the Giggling Donkey.
It's Late It's after bed time. You have to get home.
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Alien Abduction You wake up after having been abducted by aliens.
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Gain New Allies The elves took the stick at night! Dirty little cheaters.
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Nonconformist You have to be a confomist and act like a Goth if you want their help. Hypocrites.
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PTA Problems Randy needs help proving what is actually going on at the mall.
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Attack the School Its time to raid the school and get the stick back.
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Go Back Home Once again, it's past your bed time. Hurry home!
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Defeat the Underpants Gnomes The Underpants Gnomes are taking your underwear!
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Forging Alliances We need more help if we are going to take down Clyde.
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Recruit the Girls Time to see if joining the fight sparkles with the girls.
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Pose as Bebe's Boyfriend Time to prove Monica is a two-faced skank.
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Unplanned Parenthood Time for a makeover so you can find the real two-faced whore.
Heading North The abortion records are written in some sort of Orcish.
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O Canada (Quest) You must find someone who speaks this mysterious language.
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Beat Up Clyde Time to kick Clyde's ass!
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Betrayal From Within "Princess Kenny is a two-faced "bitch" just like Monica and Heidi!"

Side Quests

Name Description
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Big Game Huntin' With Jimbo Jimbo challenges The New Kid to hunt and kill seven of the most dangerous creatures in and around South Park.
Defeat ManBearPig ManBearPig is attacking the church!
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Dropping the Kids Off Mr. Hankey's kids have run off while their mother was getting drunk. Rather than help solve the shit domestic dispute, go find the kids.
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Find Jesus Priest Maxi challenges the New Kid to find Jesus at the Church.
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Flower For a Princess Every fair maiden needs a flower.
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Hide 'n' Seek Play hide and seek with the kindergarteners around town.
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Magical Songs Jimmy won't be a proper bard until he gets a flute to play inspiring battle tunes. Help him get one.
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ManBearPig (Quest) Al Gore is on the hunt for ManBearPig once again, but he needs your help tracking him down.
Mongolian Beef Tuong Lu Kim tells you to get rid of the Mongolians by beating up their kids in the Tower of Peace.
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Mr. Slave's Package Deliver Mr Slave's package from the post office.
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Nazi Zombie Bounty Collect rings from the Nazi Zombies around town for Detective Harris.
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Phase One Retrieve underpants for the Underpants Gnomes.
Rats in the Cellar Rats have infested the cellar beneath Skeeter's bar. Only a true hero could slay rats in the cellar.
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Restoring the Balance DogPoo asks the New Kid to destroy five banners the humans put up around town.
The Homeless Problem Find the various homeless camps and chase away the homeless in town to improve the town's image.
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The She-Ogre Stan has lost his iPhone to an ogre, and he needs your help to get it back!
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The Timmy Express You have to collect 12 flags with the Timmy Express logo on them.
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Unfriend Al Gore Al Gore is spamming your Facebook. Go to his base and get him to beating the crap out of him.
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Vulcan Around Find Kevin Stoley's dad's iPad near the church and return it to him.
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Wasted Cache Go "throw out" a computer monitor for Mr. Mackey.