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South Park (Not Suitable For Children) "South Park (Not Suitable For Children)/Script" "South Park: The End of Obesity/Script" - Rightarrow
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Cast[]

Script[]

South Park: The End of Obesity

Black Screen With Text "Warning: The following program contains the actual sound of an obesity drug being injected into Trey Parker's stomach. Viewers discretion is advised."

South Park Medical Clinic A doctor’s office Eric: "Ow, ow! Ah, god!" Doctor: "I'm just taking your blood pressure, Eric." Eric: "It's too tight. Stop!" Doctor: "Ms. Cartman, I'm extremely worried about your son's health. His blood pressure is celestial. I think it's time for some drastic measures to bring down his weight." Eric: "Oh god, here we go with this shit again." Liane: "Doctor, we tried to have Eric eat right and excercise, but it just doesn't seem to work for him." Doctor: "Well, there might be another answer. Have you heard of semaglutides?" [hopeful music plays] Eric: "Semaglutides?" Doctor: "They're the active ingredient in ozempic, a drug originally made for people with diabetes, but we've now discovered they can help obese people lose vast amounts of weight." Eric: "Really?" Doctor: "It's a whole new era of medicine. A miracle, really. Young man, how would you like to not be fat anymore?" Eric: "Not be fat anymore? Me? Not fat anymore?"

South Park Elementary (Eric's fantasy) Eric: “Hey, guys! How’s it going? Good to see you guys! Eric: “Hey, Wendy, you wanna know something?” Wendy: “What?” Eric: “You’re a dumb bitch!” Wendy: “Oh yeah? Eric: “Yeah, you’re a dumb bitch and you got saggy tits!” Wendy: “Oh yeah, Cartman? Well, you’re a… You’re a… Ugh!” Eric: “Haha, haha! Sweet!” Eric: “Oh hey! Hey, Kyle! Kyle, guess what. You’re a totally ugly ginger and your religion is fucking bullshit.” Kyle: “Oh yeah? Well, you’re a… You’re a… Damn it!” Eric: “Hahaha! Yeah! Awesome!”

Pakistan (Eric’s fantasy) Eric: “Hey, hello there, Pakistan! You’re whole country is fucking dumb and it smells like ass. ‘Kay, Pakistan? Why don’t you get your shit together?” Pakistan People: “Boo!” Pakistan Person 1: “Oh yeah? Well you are a normal person!” Pakistan Person 2: “You are… Very average looking!” Eric: “Fuck yeah, dawg! This is fucking nice!” [mystical music plays]

South Park Medical Clinic (End of Eric’s fantasy) A doctor’s office Eric: “Wow, could this really happen? Doctor, is it really true I could not be fat?” Doctor: “It’s really true, young man.” Liane: “How much do these new drugs cost?” Doctor: “Well, they aren’t cheap. It’s about twelve hundred dollars a month.” Liane “Oh, I don’t know if we can afford that.” Doctor: “Oh, alright. Welp, nevermind, Eric. Have a good day.” Eric: “Nevermind? You can’t just tell me there’s a new miracle drug that will make me not fat anymore and then say fucking nevermind!” Doctor: “Insurance companies only cover the medication for diabetes, not for weight loss. So if you can’t afford them, you’re just kind of out of luck.” Eric: “Doctor, please! I’ve been fat my whole life. I hate how I look. Please. There has to be something you can do.” Doctor: “Alright. I’m gonna write you a prescription for Lizzo.” Eric: “Lizzo?” Doctor: “She’s a really good singer who talks about body positivity and just being happy with the way you look. I want you to listen to Lizzo five times a day and watch her videos just before bedtime. Oh, and I’m afraid you’ll have to be on Lizzo for the rest of your life.” Eric: “No! Lizzo, no!”

South Park Intro Sung By Man With Clips of People Talking About The Drugs In Between Man 1: “New weight loss drug on that’s been described as a game changer.” Woman 1: “With obesity loss up to 70.5%.” Man 2: “This drug works by mimicking a natural occuring hormone that’s released-” Randy: “Well, I’m going down to South Park gonna have myself a time.” Woman 2: “One hot topic everyone in Hollywood still seems to be talking about is ozempic.” Randy:” Woman 3: “ Woman 4: “All these new drugs. A silver bullet for weight loss.” Randy: “Heading all up to South Park, gonna’ see if I cannot lie.” Woman 5: “It’ll be the most lucrative drug ever made.” Randy: “So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine.” South Park The End Of Obesity

Tegridy Farms Randy: “Woah, woah, woah. Where are you going?” Shelly: “I’m going to school.” Randy: “Not looking like that you aren’t.” Shelly: “Not looking like what?” Randy: “We’ve talked about this, Shelly. You don’t go to school wearing shirts that show off your body like that.” Shelly: “All the girls at school dress like this, dad! Mom already said it’s okay.” Randy: “What?” Sharon: “It’s really just the fashion now, Randy.” Randy: “I don’t care if it’s the fashion! I don’t want my innocent little daughter going to school dressed like a cum whore! Go put on a different shirt.” Shelly: “No! I don’t have to. My body is not a distraction. It’s perfect and you can’t tell me what to do.” Randy: “You’re gonna get stared at all day. Little boys are perverts.” Shelly: “Mom already said I could wear it!” Randy: “Mom already said I could wear it!” mockingly Shelly: “You’re stupid! The school says girls can wear shirts like this, so I can do what I want!” Randy: “Okay, so maybe then I’ll wear whatever I want to school to come pick you up later!” Shelly: “Go ahead!”

Randy: “Ugh!” Sharon: “She’s gonna be fine, Randy. She’s just growing up.” Randy: “Oh, she’s gonna be fine. Okay. Mark my words. If you walk around wearing a shirt that exposes your belly, you end up with a bad bunch of people doing a bunch of drugs. You'll see.”

In front of Tweek Bros Sharon: “Randy was really upset but I don’t know. I don’t see what the big deal is. Do you let Wendy wear crop tops to school?” Alexis: “Yeah, sometimes. I think it’s fine when girls wear ‘em. What I can’t stand is all the middle aged moms wearing them now because they’re on ozempic.” Sharon: “Who’s on ozempic?” Alexis: “Oh! Butters’s mom, Craig’s mom. A bunch of women use it to lose that last five pounds and show off their stomachs.” Linda: “Oh, hey, guys. How’s it going? Just getting some coffee.” Alexis: “Oh, hi, Linda. You’re… Uh… Looking good.”

End of South Park: The End of Obesity
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