South Park Archives


South Park Archives

"Something Cool to Happen to Me" is a song performed by Eric Cartman. It was featured in South Park: The Streaming Wars.


Cartman laments at the living conditions of his new home, which include hotdog buns in his toy cabinet, and having to shower with ketchup. He sings in front of his mother much to the latter's annoyance while hoping for something "cool" to happen. Cartman eventually stumbles upon Mr. Cussler, who is looking to purchase a property opposite the hotdog stand.


I live in a hotdog,
On a lonely old hill
People make fun of me,
And that's not cool

Isolated from my friends
Against my will
My possessions are now component,
And that is not cool

And I don't want to live like this, you don't know how I feel
I've got no room to grow, and it's just so not cool

Just once in my life, I like cool stuff to happen
Everything is changing and I'm not adopted
I'm crying like a girl and it's super not cool
And I just want something cool to happen
To me

But I live through such pain, the world has been so cruel
Something's gotta happen,
Something that's cool,
I want something cool to happen
To me