Skank Hunt/Script

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Cast

• Stan Marsh
• Kyle Broflovski
• Eric Cartman
• Butters Stotch
• Craig Tucker
• Clyde Donovan
• Jimmy Valmer
• Token Black
• Scott Malkinson
• Wendy Testaburger
• Annie Knitts
• Bebe Stevens
• Nichole Daniels
• Nelly
• Gerald Broflovski
• Sheila Broflovski
• Berries
• Mr. Mackey
• Dr. Wayne Schroeder
• CNN Reporter
• Freja Oldengaard

Script

	[South Park Elementary, night. 'Dr. Wayne Schroeder' speaks in front of a crowd of parents with a power point behind him]
Dr. Schroeder:	Nobody is safe. Nobody can hide from these monsters. Internet trolls are truly predators of society. As parents we find it hard to believe our children are doing these things online, and that is why I've been asked to come and speak to you about the student who has been trolling your school message boards. [changes the powerpoint slide, showing a picture of Heidi Turner's mother with a photoshopped dick in her mouth] This troll is known only as Skankhunt42. [clicks remote] We believe it probable he's one of the boy students here, since his favourite target seems to be women. Here, you can see Heidi Turner's mother photoshopped with a penis in her mouth, after she defended her daughter's right to sit out the national anthem. [The crowd gasps and talk amongst each other] Since then, this child has been trolling all over the internet. Visiting message boards, and social media, and filling it with vile comments and hate-filled garbage. [The camera pans to Gerald smiling as Dr. Schroeder talks] But trolling is on the rise with teenagers, and we all need to come together to stop it. We need every parent to look for the signs in their own child. [changes powerpoint to a slide titled 'Signs That my Child is a Troll'] In order for us to find these secretive monsters, we need all parents to ask themselves: "Could my child be a troll?".
	[Sheila and Gerald's car, night]
Sheila:	My God, what children are capable of now. What kind of hate would have to be in that child's heart?
Gerald:	Well, you never know, could be someone who just, kind of thinks it's funny to stir the pot and watch everyone freak out. [Sheila gives Gerald a questioning look] Uh, you know! Maybe the fact that it's so not funny makes it somehow funny, to kids? Gosh, I-I certainly don't understand it.
	[A bridge over a river, snowing. The same picture is reposted by Butters on Twitter, and Heidi looks at it on her phone sadly. Heidi then slowly walks to the side edge of the bridge. Surveying the drop, she types on her phone whilst tearing up. The camera pans up, a splash is heard, and two white birds fly past. South Park Elementary, day. Police cars are parked outside the school. Kyle walks down the hallway past sad kids and police officers who are interviewing the teachers. He turns his head to see Bebe bawling and another girl comforting her. Kyle then meets Stan and Clyde]
Kyle:	Dude, what's going on?
Clyde:	You didn't hear?
Kyle:	Hear what? What happened?
Stan:	Heidi Turner. She...she quit Twitter.
Kyle:	Oh no. [Heidi walks past looking down]
Stan:	Yesterday after school, she wrote one last tweet that said goodbye forever, and then just got off for good.
Kyle:	She'll get back on.
Stan:	No dude, she threw her phone in a river. She's...she's gone.
	[The library. Mr. Mackey sits in front of a group of 4th graders]
Mr. Mackey:	Alright students, I know we're all dealing with the loss of a good friend. We have to accept the fact that Heidi won't be on social media anymore. I know we're all gonna miss her, m'kay. We're gonna miss, seeing what she's up to; miss seeing her silly pictures she'd post of her and her friends, m'kay. [Bebe breaks down and starts crying. Red shifts over to comfort her] But this is what can happen when someone gets bullied online to the point they just can't go on anymore. [Kyle angrily looks over at Cartman] I know that some of you are feeling anger, m'kay. [Annie, Wendy and Nichole are angrily looking down] Some of you are feeling a little guilt, asking how something like this can happen. But the best thing we can do for Heidi, is come together as friends and as students, m'kay. So now, why don't we all get on Twitter, m'kay, and just tweet some of the, things we loved about Heidi, m'kay? [Everyone takes out their phones and types. Bebe continues weeping] M'kay. Oh, that's nice, that's nice, m'kay. Oh, that's a good one Sarah, uh-huh. That-that's a - that's a pretty poem. Nice Butters. Oh, Heidi would have loved this so much. This is so special, m'kay.
	[Cafeteria. Most girls are upset. The boys are eating at a table]
Stan:	Okay. Can we all agree now, [Stan glares at Cartman] that whoever is doing this, needs to stop?
Cartman:	Totally you guys. This has gone far enough. [Kyle looks unimpressed] The girls are really pissed off at us. [Drinks from milk carton]
Stan:	So tonight, whoever is doing this, isn't going to do it again! Cause if he does, we're gonna have to do something about it!
Cartman:	You hear that guys? It'd better not happen again tonight! [Kyle still looks unimpressed] I am so, seriously.
	[Broflovskis' residence, night. Ike is playing Minecraft on his computer. Gerald enters Ike's room]
Gerald:	Ike? Can I talk to you? [Takes a seat on Ike's bed] Come on, pull up a chair. [Ike stops playing and sits next to Gerald] You know, we had a big parent meeting at the school tonight, and uh, apparently...there's someone trolling the school message boards and, putting...penises in people's mouths. And whoever it was then got a big reaction from it so, he's now putting penises in people's mouths all over the internet and...he's actually getting pretty famous! [Silence] Sooo, Annie Jerkin's mother started an online campaign to stop internet trolling with a picture of her and her daughter, and you know what happened? She got a dick in her mouth! Ha-okay, okay, I know, it's just guy humour stuff, you know. We can laugh about about it here, but, it is serious too. Well, love you pal. Get to sleep, it's a school night.
	[Gerald smiles at Ike before leaving. In the hallway, Sheila encounters Gerald]
Gerald:	Oh, hey!
Sheila:	Did you talk to him?
Gerald:	Yeah, yeah, we talked. It was good.
Sheila:	Oh, that's good.
Gerald:	Yeah, well, I'd better go and get some of my work done.
Sheila:	Oh, right, right, yeah.
Gerald:	Yeah, don't wait up. I'll be a while with these stupid case profiles.
Sheila:	All right. Night Gerald.
Gerald:	Night sweetie. [Gerald receives a kiss from Sheila]
	[Now in a room, Gerald turns on the lights dimly. He puts Smokin' by Boston on his turntable which plays in the backgroud, then pours some wine from a hidden compartment into a glass. Gerald then sits at his desk, puts on glasses and starts surfing on Facebook. Text boxes pop up as background impressions voice over them]
Woman 1:	Hey! Just wanna remind everyone about the ice cream social to benefit homeless teens. Looking for volunteers.
Gerald:	Hey, I'd like to volunteer to kick you in the vagina! Where do I sign up?!
	[More surfing of Facebook]
Woman 2:	This is my daughter at the triathalon today! Go little girl!
Gerald:	Your daughter has a moustache - what the hell is wrong with your ovaries bitch?!
	[Camera pans away from Gerald. A woman looks appalled after reading Gerald's post on her computer. Another woman is in the same scenario, becoming shocked this time. Gerald continues his trolling onslaught]
Commentator:	You've been dick-slapped!
	[Restaurant. A couple are dining, but the woman becomes outraged after reading another of Gerald's post on her phone. The man also becomes outraged after she shows it to him. Gerald types on his 2 computers along to the notes of a keyboard. In a bathroom, a man on the toilet is startled after reading yet another of Gerald's post on his tablet. Explosions of various buildings start appearing. Gerald continues his relentless assault, also targeting Annie, who becomes enraged. 2 elephants appear humping. A clip shows how Gerald photoshops dicks into women's mouths. Then at a Boston concert, Gerald reenacts playing the keyboard by typing on his computers. A traditional man spins 2 rods that are on fire. Finally, Gerald yawns and calls it a night, taking his glass of wine and leaving the room. South Park Elementary, day. The girls are gathered at the playground, and Wendy paces back and forth]
Bebe:	You should've seen what he said about my mother on her Instagram! Pages and pages of disgusting things!
Annie:	This is an attack on all of us! It's time to make the boys suffer!
Wendy:	It has to be swift and serious. We have to make a statement. The girls in South Park aren't going to be treated like afterthoughts anymore!
Girls:	Yeah! [Camera cuts to a backview shot of the boys, with the girls in the background]
Annie:	This has gone on too long and it's time to do something!
Girls:	Yeah!
Clyde:	[The boys are now the focus] What do you think they're talking about?
Butters:	They're talking about how they're gonna get us - what do you think? That's how the world works now. You get blamed for the group you belong to, even if you didn't do nothing!
	[Boy's Restroom, outside]
Butters:	What are we gonna do about them?
	[Boy's Restroom, inside. The boys are gathered and Stan paces back and forth]
Kyle:	The girls want to see Cartman punished so we have to prove it's him.
Craig:	We're never gonna prove that and you know it! We have to make him stop!
Butters:	He's not gonna stop, he's loving all this! He wants the girls to hurt us!
Clyde:	Then let's end it.
Jimmy:	What do you mean?
Clyde:	Cartman is the cause of all our problems. Always. We all know what has to be done. [Everybody looks at Clyde with surprise and dread. Stan stops pacing] It's not like we haven't talked about it before - fantasized about how we'd do it.
Kyle:	Yeah, but not like we'd actually do it.
Stan:	Clyde's right.
Kyle:	Stan...You can't be thinking that we'd-
Stan:	What else do we do Kyle? You know better than anybody what a monster he is.
Token:	He pushed everyone too far.
Butters:	It's him, or us!
Kyle:	Are we seriously talking about doing this?
Craig:	How would we ever get away with it?
Stan:	We do it out in the woods. I know how to get him to go.
	[School hallway. Cartman listens to some music while sitting. He notices the boys walking up to him]
Cartman:	'Sup dudes?
Stan:	[The boys are all looking down. Stan talks in an unenthusiastic tone] After school, we're gonna go to my uncle's cabin - in the woods. We're gonna have a slumber party and play Counter Strike all night with no one around to bother us.
Cartman:	[Stands up excited] Are you serious?! All night broship Counter Strike party? That's fucking sweet! Does your uncle's cabin have good wifi?
Stan:	Yeah, but don't tell anyone where you're going. We don't want adults to know cause there's gonna be a ton of junk food.
Cartman:	Bros!! Dude, that's so awesome! This is gonna be the best night ever!
	[Counsellor's office. Mr. Mackey sits at his desk holding a bunch of Member Berries]
Berries:	'Member TIE fighters? Oh, 'member Jawas? 'Member? Hey, 'member Jurassic Park? Ooh, you love Jurassic Park. 'Member Jeff Goldblum? Oh, I 'member Jeff Goldblum - he was really tasty. [Mr. Mackey plucks one berry and eats it] I love Jeff Goldblum. 'Member?
Mr. Mackey:	Mueeh... [Scott barges into the counsellor's office, startling Mr. Mackey who quickly puts away the Member Berries in his desk drawer]
Scott:	I can't do this anymore! I can't take it!
Mr. Mackey:	Oh! Er, hi Scott.
Scott:	[Sits on the chair in front of Mr. Mackey] Nobody ever pays attention to me! Nobody cares! I just want to end it all!
Mr. Mackey:	Scott, come on, we've talked about this. You don't wanna quit Twitter.
Scott:	Why not?! Everyone would be happier if I did!
Mr. Mackey:	Who'd be happier?
Scott:	Everyone.
Mr. Mackey:	Well, what about your parents, huh? How'd you think they'd feel if you quit Twitter?
Scott:	I don't think they'd even notice!
Mr. Mackey:	Of course they'd notice. They'd be saad, m'kay, they'd be saad. You've got so much ahead of you Scott; so many posts and tweets still ahead of you. You haven't even started to see what social media has to offer you. You can't-you can't just end it all. Not now.
Scott:	You're right, I guess I don't want to quit Twitter.
Mr. Mackey:	There you go, m'kay? But now you come back here anytime you're having bad thoughts, m'kay?
Scott:	Okay, thanks. [Leaves the office. Mr. Mackey starts to retrieve the Member Berries, but Scott barges in again, forcing Mr. Mackey to return the Member Berries again] Twitter would be better off without me! I'm quitting!
Mr. Mackey:	Okay, okay. Now, Scott-
Scott:	[Takes the seat again] What's the point!? Better to just end it all now!
Mr. Mackey:	O-kay...
	[The woods, noon. The boys, who are still looking down and unenthusiastic, and Cartman are trekking along a dirt path, bringing along their electronics]
Cartman:	This is gonna be so awesome. Just hanging with the bros playing Counter Strike all night. Alone in the woods - you pumped Token?
Token:	Yeah, I'm really excited.
Cartman:	I'm totally gonna do some massive pawnage. Whoever's on my team will be stoked. My laptop's so fast it doesn't lag at all. I can jump around like a pawnage powerhouse.
Clyde:	I'm sure you will.
Cartman:	You guys all seem kinda, like, bummed out. Is everything cool?
Stan:	Everything's fine Cartman. We'll just get there sooner if maybe we don't talk much.
Cartman:	Okay, cool. Goin' a long way to play Counter Strike. Guess it's sweet though there won't be any adults to screw it up for us. How much further now?
Kyle:	We're almost there.
	[Sunset]
Cartman:	This place has sweet wifi, right? Gon' be so awesome.
	[City, office tower, day. Supervisor is walking around]
Man:	Oh my God. Oh my God! Oh my God!
Supervisor:	[Walks to the man] What's wrong?
Man:	Someone keeps trolling our campaign site! [Supervisor takes a closer look at the man's computer screen] He just keeps leaving horrible comments, and now he's attacking me personally!
Supervisor:	Aww, don't let him get to you.
Man:	Don't let him-?! He took a picture I posted and put a dick in my mouth! Who does that?!
Supervisor:	Someone who probably still lives with his mother and hates himself. He obviously has nothing better to do. Just let him wallow in his own misery.
	[Broflovskis' Residence, day. Gerald leaves the house very cheerfully. Steal My Sunshine by Len starts playing. Gerald strides down the road, getting out of the way of a car after the driver honked, then apologizes. Passing by 2 neighbours arguing about the election ignorently, he nearly gets knocked over by a biker, but blissfully passes it off. Supermarket. Gerald picks up a bottle of wine and happily skips to the checkout, passing by the Member Berries' section]
Berries:	'Member the Cantina? Oh-hoh, I 'member. 'Member Star Destroyers? Yeah, I love Star Destroyers! 'Member?
Woman 3:	[At the checkout cashier] I have a coupon for that too. An-and those are 6 for $4 with this coupon. [Regards Gerald] Sorry.
Gerald:	Oh, no please. It's no problem at all!
	[Residence Road, evening. Gerald slowly dances back to his house. South Park Elementary, outside the counsellor's office. Mr. Mackey is locking his office, but Scott walks up behind him]
Scott:	I'm gonna do it! [Mr. Mackey turns a worried, then frustrated look] I'm gonna quit Twitter, I mean it this time!
Mr. Mackey:	Ohh, Scott, uh, I-it's sort of after hours, m'kay?
Scott:	They all laugh at me. They won't be laughing when I do it! I'll show them!
Mr. Mackey:	Hah, alright Scott. Come on inside. Huumm... [Unlocks the office door, then goes inside with Scott]
	[The woods, night. The boys finally reach the cabin]
Cartman:	Oh, dude, is this it? This is cool. So isolated. [Camera shows a hole and shovel in the ground] Check it out, there's a shovel next to a hole dug in the ground. [Inside the cabin, Cartman eagerly goes over to the table at the far end and puts his items on it, while the boys form a curve behind] Dude, is this where we're gonna play? I call dibs on this side! What's the wifi called? Is there a password? [Kyle closes the cabin door. Everybody takes out a weapon, except for Cartman.] I don't see it - I don't see it coming up on my laptop. I don't know, I think maybe the wifi's not working. Where's the box? [Cartman picks up his devices] You gotta unplug it and plug it back in. [Turning around] You guys? You guys...? There's...no wifi...
Clyde:	The girls are gonna do something drastic to us. We have to take matters into our own hands.
Cartman:	What are you...What are you guys talking about - What-
Stan:	You brought this on yourself, Cartman. We're sorry.
Cartman:	Oh my God. Oh my God, you guys are gonna break all my stuff so I can't get online!
Kyle:	Just put your stuff on the table and step back.
Cartman:	Please! Please don't break my stuff you guys! This is like, 2 Christmases and a birthday worth of stuff! You guys can't do this! Please!
Token:	Let's just get it over with!
Cartman:	No, don't-get-it-over-with! Don't break my stuff! I'm not SkankHunt, I'm not! You guys, you guys, you don't have to do this! You-don't-have-to-do-this! We can still just play Counter Strike, and forget everything! Oh-my-God, there's no wifi - We can use my phone, to make a hotspot and we can still play Counter Strike! And it'll be sweet! You guys, come on, please! Please, you can't!
Clyde:	I can't listen to this!
Cartman:	Please, Clyde! Clyde, you're my friend! Please, y-you know how much - I - need - my - stuff!
Craig:	Let's just get it over with! [Walks up to Cartman]
Cartman:	No please! If I can't get online, I won't-how would I-I- [Mumbling. Craig stabs Cartman's laptop with his knife. The rest start advancing forward] No, God! No! Don't! Don't!! Don't!! Oh my God!! [Cartman's electronics are knocked onto the table, and subsequently destroyed by the boys] Oh my God!! Oh my God!! Oh my God!! Aahh!! Niah!! Niaah!! Iaahh!! Iaahh!! Niaaahhhh!!! [Cartman passes out. Outside the cabin after some time, the hole is filled up, and Token pats the soil with the shovel. The boys look horrified]
Stan:	What have we done?
Kyle:	What we had to do.
Cartman:	[Off screen] Iaahh!!
	[Mr. Mackey's bedroom, lights off. Mr. Mackey is sleeping when his phone starts ringing. Mr. Mackey jolts up from the ringing, puts his glasses on and sees the caller is Scott]
Mr. Mackey:	Oh, Goddamnit. You've got to be kidding me. [Inhales, then answers phone] This is Counsellor Mackey. What's going on Scott?
Scott:	[Scott is on his phone while off his bed, grabbing onto a pillow] I swear to God I'm gonna do it this time.
Mr. Mackey:	Okay Scott, just try to calm down. You don't want to quit Twitter.
Scott:	Why does it matter? People would be happier if I just did it!
Mr. Mackey:	That's not true, no one would be happier. [off phone] This fucking kid, oh my god... [on phone] Everybody thinks you're a great kid, Scott.
Scott:	I-I talked to my dad. He said, "I don't have the guts to do it!". Well, if I'd quit Twitter, he'd be sorry!
Mr. Mackey:	Okay, umm, how 'bout this, just umm, promise me you won't quit Twitter tonight, and we can - we can talk all day tomorrow, okay? M'kay?
Scott:	I don't know if I'll make it through the night!
Mr. Mackey:	[off phone] Oh, for fuck's sake...
Scott:	I just feel like I'm at the edge of a cliff, you know, and being chased by hate. And the only way out is to jump!
Mr. Mackey:	[on phone] Uh-huh, okay, go on with that.
Scott:	I keep thinking about what the kids at school would do, when they find out I left all my social media. Like they would finally see all the damage they've done.
Mr. Mackey:	[off phone] Goddamnit, just do it already...
	[Broflovskis' Residence, night. Gerald is again trolling online with Smokin' by Boston playing. However, just before leaving, his computer screen lights up with a Google alert, notifying Gerald that he was mentioned on CNN. Gerald clicks on the video link]
CNN Reporter:	Another internet troll is wreaking havoc on message boards, this time attacking a Danish website for women with breast cancer.
Gerald:	I made the news...
CNN Reporter:	The troll, who goes by the name "SkankHunt42", ...
Gerald:	[Claps hands] Yes!
CNN Reporter:	...caused the website to temporarily shutdown. Danish Olympic Gold Medalist Freja Oldengaard, who started the website, spoke out about the incident. [Video of Freja Oldengaard zooms in]
Freja Oldengaard:	I am not shocked. I am not sad. I am not giving this pitiful person the satisfaction of being anything. [Gerald listens intently] This little troll can have his fun. I am going to be the bigger person. I am going to show the people of Denmark are not so easily broken down.
Gerald:	Hmm...Game on whore. Game on.
	[Gerald starts furiously typing on his computer, and a shadow appears on his wall by the computer screen's illumination. The camera pans to the shadow. South Park Elementary, day. Kyle walks through the hallway again, but this time the girls are angrily slamming their lockers before walking away. He meets Stan and Clyde again]
Kyle:	What's going on?
Stan:	You didn't hear?
Kyle:	Hear what?
Stan:	The troll, SkankHunt, Kyle. He was all over the internet last night!
Kyle:	No, that's impossible!
Stan:	It wasn't him Kyle! We took Cartman up for no reason. [Cartman walks past looking down] We can't undo what we've done.
Kyle:	Oh my God. Oh my God...
	[Bebe's residence, day. Inside Bebe's room, the girls are gathered. Wendy looks unsure]
Nelly:	The time has come. We said if the trolling didn't stop, there would be severe consequences. Get the word out to every girl in school. It goes down tomorrow!
Wendy:	Oh my God...I don't know if I can go through with this.
Nichole:	We all have to be on-board Wendy. Every girl in school, or it means nothing.
Annie:	Don't forget what you said Wendy: "For too long girls here have taken the backseat! Things have to change!". Now they'll have to listen.
	[South Park Elementary, day. Gortoz a Ran by Denez Prigant plays in the background. Annie hides behind some hallway lockers till her boyfriend passes by. She catches up and gives a note to him, then leaves. The note reads: "I'm breaking up with you forever. Annie.". The boy falls to his knees, drops the note and yells as tears stream down his cheeks, 'No!' in slow motion. Kevin receives a note from Red too, as well as all the boys with girlfriends. Girls run down the hallway holding notes like a deadly mob. The library. Clyde, clutching his hair, cries alone at a table with a note in front of him, tears streaming down his face. Kindergarten couples also break up too, as a girl gives a boy a note that reads: "I brake up.". This results in the boy faceplanting into his toy blocks construction. Token also receives a note from Nichole at the basketball court that reads: "I break up. Goodbye. Don't call. Nichole". Token falls to his knees, broken. The Boy's Restroom. 2 boys who received notes resort to hugging each other for comfort. Playground. Kyle is sitting alone on the swings with his class picture in hand, and his eye starts tearing up when he sees Cartman fade from the picture. School hallway. Many boys are crying in corners, notes strewn and crumpled. Stan walks down the hallway, glancing at the boys before encountering Wendy. Wendy regrettably holds out the note in her hand. Stan hesitantly takes the note, and reads: "This is goodbye forever, Stan. I can't fix you. Wendy". When Stan looks up, Wendy is gone from view]
	[End of Skank Hunt]