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"Sexual Healing"
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Episode no. Season 14
Episode 1
Production no. 1401
Original airdate March 17, 2010
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"Sexual Healing" is the first episode of Season Fourteen, and the 196th overall episode of South Park. It originally aired on Comedy Central on March 17, 2010.[1]


The latest in scientific testing reveals that some of the boys at South Park Elementary have a sex addiction problem.[1]


SPW pic -- Spoiler Spoiler warning!
Plot details follow.

Cartman and Kenny start things off by playing the latest Tiger Woods golf-game, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11, which in truth is more of a domestic abuse fighting game in which Tiger Woods and his wife beat each other following Tiger's constant sexual affairs. Meanwhile, a group of American scientists begins to question why so many men (particularly those who are rich and famous) are having so many sexual affairs. Rather than admit that men are to blame for their own actions, they begin to and justify a man's desire for sex by claiming that it is due to a disease called "sex addiction". In order to prove their case, they run a series of tests among children, from 4th grade through high school. After one of their tests, Kyle, Kenny and Butters are diagnosed as being sex addicts, during which the doctor administering the test informs them that their addiction will eventually result in them killing themselves due to auto-erotic asphyxiation in a Batman costume. Kenny then finds the concept exciting and does just that. When his mother calls him for dinner, she finds Kenny dressed as Batman dead from auto-erotic asphyxiation, much to her horror.

At the funeral for Kenny, Kyle and Butters begin to grow more and more disturbed by their "condition", with Butters becoming obsessed by a woman's pubic hair and Kyle trying to fight the possible future addiction. Cartman and Stan, however, seem oblivious more or less to their friend's problems, instead they are fixated on the Tiger Woods fight/golf game.

In order to fight their "problem", Kyle and Butters check into the Karne Institute for Sex Addiction. With them in the center are Michael Douglas, Michael Jordan, Ben Roethlisberger, David Duchovny, Charlie Sheen, David Letterman, Bill Clinton, Billy Bob Thornton, Kobe Bryant, Eliot Spitzer, and of course, Tiger Woods. However, rather than admitting to their own faults and poor judgment, the center instead places the blame on the fact that they got caught cheating, and does not bother to teach them to control their impulses. When Kyle calls the counselor on this, the counselor instead calls the scientists behind the study and says "we've got a turd in the punch-bowl".

The scientists, meanwhile, run a series of tests involving a chimpanzee who, when given large piles of cash, demonstrates the same behavior as Tiger Woods: cheating on his mate with assorted other females, being caught and beaten by his mate, and then making a press-conference apology. The scientists take their findings to President Obama, who claims that the source of the addiction could only have come from one source: The alien that crashed at Roswell, New Mexico released a sex addiction virus. The scientists also claim that the alien is housed at Independence Hall. A team is sent to go find the supposed alien and kill it. The members of the sex addiction rehab clinic are meanwhile helicoptered out to Independence Hall to be 'cured'.

At Independence Hall, the President leads his strike force and claims the alien must be invisible, making him a wizard alien. As this claim is made, one of the soldiers finally breaks, deciding that the whole 'wizard alien' explanation has finally become too ridiculous. He goes on to say that they that every time a celebrity has an affair, men act as if they are bewildered and shocked, but given the same opportunity a normal man would do the same thing. He finishes by saying that while they should not condone the celebrities' behavior, men also should not act like they do not understand it. After making this declaration, he is captured by his fellow soldiers and dressed up in a poorly made wizard alien costume. Meanwhile, Kyle and Butters are selected to help the task force to kill the wizard alien. Giving them guns and releasing the soldier in the costume, the President, scientists and soldiers use a strobe light to convince Kyle and Butters to shoot the soldier several times until they finally kill him. Meanwhile, all the members of the sex addiction center begin dancing around outside in an overdramatic fashion claiming to have been 'cured' with the death of the 'alien'.

Kyle and Butters are given medals and are asked how they feel. Kyle, who seems confused and concerned about the course of events, reluctantly says he is fine, and Butters begins ranting that he does not want to see bush again after at last paying a woman to let him see it in real life and feeling disgusted by the ugly "Joker-lips" that he saw beneath it. Woods then gives a speech saying that with the death of the wizard alien, his sex addiction is gone and he can be faithful to his wife. He also states that his wife will not have to get revenge by sleeping with a bunch of guys (at which point his wife gives him a shifty-eyed look but says nothing, implying that she will likely do just that) and that he will return to golf.

In the closing scene, Cartman and Stan are playing a new Tiger Woods game, which is now just a normal golf game instead of a domestic abuse simulator. Cartman becomes frustrated, stating "Where's all the fighting?". Both he and Stan drop the game controllers and leave, saying golf is boring again.


  1. 1.0 1.1 Sexual Healing (Season 14, Episode 1).

  1401: "Sexual Healing" edit
Story Elements

Tiger WoodsKarne Institute for Sex AddictionWizard AlienTiger Woods PGA Tour 2011


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South Park: The Complete Fourteenth Season