- For other uses, see Richard (disambiguation).
When Mrs. Garrison refuses to teach the subject of evolution in class due to her religious beliefs, she cites in a dismissive manner that evolution implies humans are the 'retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish squirrel'. Principal Victoria asks Mr. Dawkins to come and teach the class. Furious at being replaced Garrison makes constant attempts at interrupting Dawkins' lecture, claiming that to believe in evolution will result in them going to hell. When Dawkins responds that he doesn't believe in hell, because he is an atheist, Garrison then starts in on that, while stating that she is not a monkey. Her triad builds up until at last, she defecates into her own hand and throws it at Dawkins.
Principal Victoria threatens to suspend Garrison for her actions, but Dawkins who has found Garrison attractive from their initial meeting halts the action, claiming that Garrison is simply passionate in her beliefs. Victoria agrees to look the other way this time, and as Garrison and Dawkins leave, Dawkins asks Garrison out on a date, to Garrison's immense joy.
Over steaks, Dawkins compliments Garrison on her in-your-face attitude and laments that Garrison is not an atheist. Afraid of losing the only man who's found her attractive since her sex-change, Garrison abruptly dismisses her religious beliefs, claiming that she is now an atheist. Dawkins and Garrison go back to her place to have sex.
As a result of their night of sex, Garrison throws herself into atheism, claiming that there is no God, and abusing Stan Marsh when he suggests that evolution is not the "why" by the "how". Dawkins is unsettled by Garrison's abuse of Stan, but Garrison dismisses it, saying that Dawkins was too easy on religion and that if they became more hardcore, they could change the world.
This proves true, as together Dawkins and Garrison create a war-torn Atheist future based on logic and reason, over faith and religion. In the future, there are three groups of Atheists who are set upon an endless war over "the great question" which is what is the most logical name to call themselves.
This future, however, is averted by Eric Cartman, who after freezing himself and ending up in the future, uses a Crank Prank Time Phone, to call Mrs. Garrison. Dawkins answers the phone while he sodomizes Garrison, and Cartman asks to speak to Mr. Garrison. Confused, Dawkins informs Cartman that "Mr." Garrison is dead, but that his wife is there. In his impatience, Cartman screams that he doesn't care what Garrison is calling himself since his sex change, so long as he puts him on the phone.
Dawkins freezes in mid-thrust, realizing that Mrs. Garrison used to be a man. Horrified, he rushes out of the house naked, with a furious and hurt Garrison calling him a "fag" who is going to hell. The fact that Garrison and Dawkins do not get married and stay together alters the future into a slightly more peaceful world, where the chief conflict is the French-Chinese wanting to claim Hawaii.
Richard has shiny, gray hair, various facial wrinkles, and black eyebrows. He wears a light gray shirt, gray sweater, and dark gray pants.
He is extremely intelligent, well-informed and educated (despite not knowing that Garrison was originally a man), and also demonstrates expertise in Evolution by Natural Selection. He is also kind, even going as far as to keep Mrs. Garrison out of trouble, even though she threw her own feces at him. Much like the actual Richard Dawkins, he is portrayed as being harsh and polemic, rejecting people of faith, and successfully trying to talk to Ms. Garrison out of faith. His teachings even created a world where religion was non-existent and laughed at.
- Dawkins had this to say about his portrayal in South Park: "I have repeatedly been asked what I think of South Park...I'm buggered if I like being portrayed as a cartoon character buggering a bald transvestite. I wouldn't have minded so much if only it had been in the service of some serious point, but if there was a serious point in there I couldn't discern it. And then there's the matter of the accent they gave me. Now, if only I could be offered a cameo role in The Simpsons, I could show that actor how to do a real British accent."
|George R. R. Martin • Jim Lehrer • Edgar Allan Poe • Richard Dawkins|
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