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My Bitch Ain't No Hobbit is a parody of the Kanye West song and music video, "Bound 2". It was featured in the Season Seventeen episode, "The Hobbit".


This song is a parody of "Bound 2", the outro of Kanye West's most recent album "Yeezus" as well as referencing the plot to the movie The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

During the song, Kanye raps about how his fiancée Kim Kardashian is not a hobbit, which is something he had been trying to prove throughout the episode.

Record Store Day Exclusive

This song with "Ballad of James Cameron", credited as "James Cameron", was released by Comedy Central records for the special event Record Store Day: Black Friday November 28, 2014.[1]


Kanye West on the phone with Kim Kardashian in his music video.

Background Singers:
Oh yeah, babe. Oh yeah, baby.

Kanye West:
One thing I know, my girl ain't no hobbit.
She might be stumpy; that don't mean she a hobbit.
She's not a hobbit 'cause she couldn't be.
She got no Bagginses in her family tree.
Yes on occasion she hangs out with her dwarf friends.
But she never went on no quest with her dwarf friends.
Except for one time she went to kill that dragon.
She took his gold and she-

[he stops the video shoot]

Hang on a minute, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.[calls up Kim yet again] Bitch, remember when you went off to kill that dragon with them dwarves?... Yeah. Oh yeah. Rightrightrightright, yup. Yup, I got it. Yep, love you too. [blows two quick kisses at the phone, hangs up, and resumes the shoot.]

It wasn't no dragon, so my girl ain't no hobbit.
That was a Quizno's and my bitch went to rob it.
'Cause they got that ham that she rubs on her cellulite.
While she drinking her grog and singin' those merry songs... at night...
My girl ain't no hobbit.
Please God, tell me I'm not engaged to no hobbit.

Background Singers:
Kim is not a hobbit.


Songs from Season Seventeen
A Chorus of Wieners | Ain't Talkin' 'bout Love | All Night Long | Camptown Races | Christmas Is Coming | Hot for Teacher | I Ate My Son 'Fer A Blu-Ray Player | I Was Not the Bullet | It's a Beautiful Day | Living in America | My Bitch Ain't No Hobbit | O Tannenbaum | Princess Kenny Theme | Seven | The Darkness | The Heat is On | Work Slut

See also: List of Songs | List of Minor Characters from Season Seventeen | Season Seventeen