Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina

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"Woodland Critter Christmas"

"Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina"

"Die Hippie, Die"

"Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina"
Episode no.	Season 9 Episode 1
Production no.	901
Original airdate	March 9, 2005
Episode chronology Previous Next "Woodland Critter Christmas" "Die Hippie, Die"
List of all South Park episodes

"Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina" is the first episode of Season Nine, and the 126th overall episode of South Park. It aired on March 9, 2005 . From this episode until "Eek, A Penis!", Mr. Garrison is female.

Spoiler warning! Plot details follow.

Synopsis

Mr. Garrison gets what he has always wanted - a sex change. Meanwhile, Kyle learns that Jews can't play basketball.

Plot

Mr. Garrison has a sex change at the Trinidad Medical Center. It seems to go fine with Garrison realizing he has always been a woman trapped in a man's body.

At the Colorado state team basketball tryouts, Kyle fails at making the team and is told by the coach that Jews cannot play basketball, the rest of the boys who did make the team all being tall African-Americans. Stan and Kenny try to comfort the crestfallen Kyle, but Cartman laughs at him. Kyle agrees with the insults to Cartman's shock, with him too believing he cannot play basketball due to his Jewish heritage.

In town, the boys encounter Mr. Garrison (who is now Ms. Garrison), who has just purchased tampons. The boys are confused, but accept their teacher's decision.

At his home, Kyle asks about what a sex change is, to Gerald's disgust as he learns of Garrison's surgery. Sheila does not agree with Gerald, so she explains that people have sex changes and similar transformation surgeries because who they are on the outside does not reflect who they are on the inside. Kyle tells his parents that he completely understands what his mother is saying and realizes that he can relate to Mr. Garrison feeling like a woman trapped in a man's body. He feels like a tall African-American trapped in a small Jewish body because of his love of basketball, rap music, and other things African-Americans enjoy.

Kyle's parents do not want him have surgery, and Gerald goes after Dr. Biber, the man who gave Garrison her sex change. Seeing Gerald has a t-shirt with dolphins on, Biber gives Gerald a "dolphinplasty" which turns him into a half-man, half-dolphin being / humanoid. Now convinced surgery is fine, he allows Kyle to have a negroplasty.

Mrs. Garrison breaks up with Mr. Slave who is angry, saying that Garrison disregarded his feelings and thought only of himself/herself when having the vaginaplasty. Mr. Slave says he doesn't like vaginas, and is outraged when Garrison says he just needs to stop being gay altogether. As Slave leaves, Garrison yells out "Fag!"

Garrison now questions why she hasn't had a period, and discovers that when a woman misses a period it means she could be pregnant. Garrison believes this is due to all the truckers she slept with and happily goes to Dr. Biber for an abortion. However, she discovers that she can't have a baby or a period, and is not truly a woman; just a guy with a penis shaped like a vagina. Demanding the process be reversed, she discovers her scrotum has been made into a dorsal fin for Gerald and her testicles have been made into kneecaps for Kyle. Garrison cannot be turned back into a man without these exact body parts, so he takes Biber with her to find them.

Garrison and Biber soon discover that Kyle has gone to try out for the basketball team again, but Biber says he only made Kyle look like a black person, not an actual one. If he ever does anything very athletic such as jumping (which he is bound to do in a game of basketball) his kneecaps could explode. Accompanied by Stan, they go to the basketball match (Kyle has made it on to the team thanks to his surgery). Fighting their way through security, they find Kyle just as he nets the ball. Garrison exclaims, "My balls!" as Kyle hits the ground, with his kneecaps exploding.

Gerald discovers that he isn't really a dolphin and that he can have his surgery reversed, as can Kyle who is not tall or African American. Garrison, however, cannot, so she determines she would rather be a woman who cannot have periods than a fag.