Randy's visit to the doctor leads him to discover that he is constipated, leading to an incredibly painful trip to the toilet after not having gone for weeks. About to flush the chain, he notices the size of the dump, and is amazed. Sharon and Shelly disgustedly don't agree, but Stan is nothing short of amazed.
After days of being miserable, the guys at the local bar convince Randy to have another go at taking the world's biggest crap.
Three weeks later, Bono discovers that Randy is trying to break the record and demands that Randy must crap in front of the European Fecal Standards and Measurements Board. The doctor however, tells Randy he cannot travel.
Stan goes to Bono's mansion to try and convince the star to let his dad win as he's never won anything in his life, but Bono refuses. Stan then pleads with him asking if he could let his dad be number one- and that Bono could be happy with being number two. Bono viciously attacks Stan, threatening him into telling him he's not number two. His butler then tells Stan that his dad will die if he attempts to take a larger crap. Stan questions how Bono crapped so much and didn't die, and the butler reveals a secret...
Making it to Zurich, Stan informs everyone at the European Fecal Standards and Measurements Board that Bono was not the record holder, but the record itself. A member of the Board admits he crapped Bono out, and nurtured him into what he is now, explaining how Bono could do so much to help people yet still seem like such a piece of crap. Randy then proceeds to crap, his feces so huge that he is blasted upwards sitting upon it. A sign saying "Emmy Award winning series" (which had been regularly displaying at the bottom of the screen since the beginning of the episode) appears, and a Board member grabs it and sticks it in Randy's crap.