For other uses, see Michael (disambiguation).

Michael Chertoff was the Secretary of Homeland Security under George Bush and the main antagonist of the "Pandemic" story arc.


He is the one who has the Peruvian pan flute bands captured, allowing the Furry Death and Guinea Creatures to begin rampaging all over the world. He personally seeks to eliminate Craig.

He reappears in the continuation "Pandemic 2: The Startling" where he personally confronts the boys, and reveals his true form as the Guinea Pirate, leader of the Furry Death. However, Craig defeats him with his superpowers completely by accident, and he is replaced. However, at the end of the episode, he somehow escapes from jail and wreaks havoc once again, but this situation remains unresolved by the end of the episode.


In human form, he looks like the real-life Michael Chertoff, almost bald and dressed in a dark suit with a red tie. In his true form, he looks like a guinea pig in a pirate costume. He later appears as a guinea pirate in a jail outfit after he escapes from prison.

Powers and Abilities

He has displayed certain superhuman powers. When Chief Aide Davis finds out that he knew the Furry Death would happen, Chertoff kills him by firing a long, prehensile tongue into his eye that causes Davis to go into violent convulsions. He also appears to be able to survive normally lethal gunshots, as a marine attempted to shoot him from behind, but with no discernible effect. Finally, he possesses the ability to shift between his true furry form and that of a man at will.

However, he appears to be helpless when faced with Craig's powers.


Minor Characters from Season Twelve
Afro Ninja | Amir | Britney Spears | Bridon Guermo | The Burger King Bandits | Chris Crocker | Dramatic Look Gopher | Gary Brolsma | Star Wars Kid | Indiana Jones | Tron Guy | Jimmy Buffett | John McCain | Large-Breasted Woman | Laughing Baby | Magic Johnson | Michael Chertoff | Mr. Garrett | Mr. Guermo | Mrs. Guermo | Pioneer Paul | Sarah Palin | Sneezing Panda | South Park Vampire Society | Stephen Abootman | Tay Zonday

See Also: List of Minor Characters from Season Twelve | Season Twelve

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