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For other uses, see Michael (Disambiguation).

Michael is the most prominent member of the Goth Kids, a group consisting of Pete Thelman, Henrietta Biggle and Firkle Smith, often appearing in storylines without featuring the other three members. He first appears in the Season Seven episode, "Raisins".

Background[]

Little is known about Michael's childhood. However, what we do know is that Michael's parents may be divorced and that he was bullied for his physical features in the past. We also know he's attracted to women, judging by the fact that he's attracted to Sophie Gray in "Basic Cable". He became goth because he felt tortured and lost, and though many of the other kids are dismissive of his misery, Michael and the other Goth Kids do seem like complete outcasts even without the Victorian clothing and eyeliner.

Due to the fact that he never appears during fourth grade specific activities, it's assumed that he, along with Henrietta and Pete, are fifth graders.

In "Raisins", Kyle Broflovski tells Stan Marsh during his bout of depression that he "might as well hang out with those goth kids who dress in black and talk about pain all the time." Frustrated and curious, Stan finds them behind the school and meets them. Upon seeing him for the first time, Michael tells Stan, "Who needs that Ken and Barbie love anyways? Everyone's just walking around like a bunch of conformists. Go ahead and wear your business suits so you can make thirty-four thousand dollars a year to buy your condominium. They're all zombies racing to their graves. Love didn't work for my mom and dad. Why should it work for me?"

Intrigued by the life style, and at a low enough point to relate to their pain, Stan asks how he can join. Michael tells him that all he has to do to is dress up the same and listen to the same music they do, which he obliges. It's also revealed that Michael only lives to make life more painful for non-conformists through Pete, though this could just be exaggerated misery.

Michael feeds into Stan's sadness by keeping him away from Kyle, the only person still trying to reach out and rescue him from his rut, and driving him away with his insults. Michael's ignorance is highlighted when he states that he wouldn't want to live in a third world country with "all the conformists." He also has Stan, now named Raven, read out poetry, and when the lyrics aren't goth enough, he criticizes him. The next day, while out walking the streets at night with the other goths, the group stumble upon Butters Stotch weeping under a street lamp. He describes Butters as "another tortured soul" and offers to let him join the group. This goes to show that despite being cold and melodramatic, Michael is still willing to empathize those he sees as in a bad place. Despite the offer, Butters tells them that he'd rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy goth kid and walks away, convincing Stan to do the same. Michael, offended, tells him to "go ahead and go back to your sunshine fairytale!"

In "You Got F'd in the A", Michael helps Stan's dance team out to be the biggest non-conformist of all by not even conforming to goth standards. He also suggests bringing Yao and a girl (who ends up being Mercedes, a Raisins Girl) into the group. He genuinely believes his dance moves are good enough to outdo The Orange County Crew, despite them being stiff and simple.

Michael reappears in "The Ungroundable" being mistaken for a Vampire kid. To counter this, he suggests they dress like conformists instead, but end up being called names that made them go goth in the first place (Michael's being "the kid with the big nose") The Goth Kids kidnap Mike Makowski (the head Vampire Kid) and suggest ramming a stake through his heart, but end up sending him to Scottsdale, Arizona instead, believing it to be the lamest place on Earth. To stop the spread of vampires, he and the other Goth Kids burn down the Hot Topic located in the South Park Mall.

In "Coon vs. Coon & Friends", The Goth Kids, including Michael, want Cthulhu to take over the world and are apart of the cult that tries to stop Mysterion from saving the world. This is all in an effort to erase conformists from the world and make things more goth. Once they attain their goal however, they realize things haven't changed a bit since Cthulhu took over and help Mysterion get educated on how to defeat him.

Michael appears in "T.M.I." in the anger management class with several other people. He may have a small penis, as he goes to an anger management class with other people who have anger issues due to their penis size. He goes along with Cartman and Randy's plan to take over all the FedEx's in order to confront the government. He has no demands for the people and probably just wants to fuck shit up for fun. Upon hearing the national penis size average has been lowered to 1.5 inches, Michael is happy and calm, along with the rest of the Pissed Off and Angry Party.

In "Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers", Michael, Pete, and Firkle hear about Henrietta going to a disciplinary camp that turned her "emo". They go to the CPS agency in an attempt to report Henrietta's parents' child abuse but failed to report the innocence. Later in the episode, he tries to confront Henrietta, who tells him that the emo's will concur with the world, so he should not try to stop them. After returning home, his parents end up sending him to the same camp to help "make him normal". He tries escaping with help twice and is nearly turned into an emo by Firkle, but is saved in the nick of time by Pete Thelman, Mike Makowski and Edgar Allan Poe (a.k.a. Nightpain).

Criminal Record[]

TheUngroundable082

Michael and the Goth Kids burning down "Hot Topic".

The Goth Kids have collectively and individually engaged in numerous criminal offenses.

  • Arson: In "The Ungroundable", Michael and the other Goth Kids set fire to Hot Topic, burning it to the ground.
  • Attempted Murder / Kidnapping: In "The Ungroundable", he, along with the other Goth Kids, kidnap Mike Makowski, the leader of the South Park Vampire Society, with the intent of murdering him. However, they change their minds after he admits he is not a vampire and ship him off to Scottsdale, Arizona instead.
  • Drug Abuse / Underage Smoking: Michael is frequently seen smoking cigarettes despite being underage as well as abusing cough syrup to hallucinate.
  • Hostage-Taking / Terrorism: In "T.M.I.", Michael participates in the Pissed Off and Angry Party's taking of hostages at the Fed-Ex offices.
  • Treason / Sedition: In the Superhero Arc, they are shown to be part of the Cthulhu cult and supporting the eponymous monster's reign of terror. They later leave the cult, though, expressing dissatisfaction with the outcome.

Talents[]

Music[]

Michael is the vocalist in the Goth Kids' band. Their only known song was "Talent Shows are for Fags", which was played ironically at the South Park Elementary Talent Show in the episode "Erection Day".

Dancing[]

In "You Got F'd in the A", Michael joins The South Park Diggities along with Stan, Mercedes, Yao, Jeffy and later Butters. The Diggities win the dance-off against the Orange County Crew, mainly due to Butters killing them accidentally.

Poetry[]

In "Raisins", Michael, along with the other Goth Kids, get Stan into writing gothic poetry about his pain and suffering. He critiques Stan's emotionally charged writing, telling him he can't write "I miss you so much, babe, I want to hold you in my arms again, girl." He specializes in poetry about pain.

Appearance[]

Tallgoth

Michael walks with a brown stiff cane, with the fact he is an Edwardian Goth; however, sometimes he is seen walking without it, even once giving it to Stan in "Raisins" and tossing it aside while running in "Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers". He is taller than the other kids and has curly black hair parted on the right. He has a large nose that is visible along with his ears, unlike most children in South Park and has black eyeliner under his eyes. He wears a long black jacket with a white dress shirt underneath, black pants, and tall black boots. He also has a gold cross earring hanging on his left ear.

When the vampire trend slowly grows, he dresses up as a conformist to not confuse others with them being vampires. He wears a brown uniform with a white stripe around, long gray pants, along with brown shoes.

In South Park: The Stick of Truth, he wears a Viking helmet, a brown fur scarf, and holds an ax on his current outfit.

In South Park: Post Covid, Michael appears as an adult man. He is the least visibly aged of the goth kids as he has no wrinkles. Although he still wears the same earrings and a black jacket, he now wears a striped navy shirt, dons glasses, and has a stubble.

In "Pajama Day", he is seen wearing a dark-grey, button-up nightgown, a sleeping cap, and black slippers. He also holds a black pillow with a skull and a candle.

Gallery[]

Family[]

Michael is possibly half-Asian and half-Caucasian. In "Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers", it is revealed that he has an Asian mother and Caucasian father. However, she could be his stepmother because in the episode "Raisins", he states out "Love didn't work out for my mom and dad, so why should it work out for me?", suggesting that his biological parents were divorced. However, it could be an angsty exaggeration, similar to how Henrietta claims that her mother "abuses" her.

Video Games[]

South Park: The Stick of Truth[]

Michael appears with the rest of the Goth kids behind South Park Elementary. When the Stick of Truth is believed to be stolen by the Drow Elves, Cartman enlists The New Kid to recruit the goths, with Michael acting as the spokesperson for the group. He dismisses The New Kid for not dressing goth or being goth for that matter, but when Firkle coaxes him into giving them a chance, he caves and tells them that the only way they'll join the KKK is if The New Kid can prove that they are goth.

Once The New Kid returns dressed in gothic clothes and with coffee and cigarettes on hand, Michael is still unconvinced. He challenges them to dance like a goth, and once they prove they can do that he gives them one last challenge: put up a 'Fuck the Conformists' sign during a PTA meeting about the new Taco Bell.

Upon returning with photo evidence, Michael agrees to join whoever The New Kid wants them to. No matter who you choose, the goths seem both embarrassed and enthralled with the roleplaying, and actually get quite into it, even changing their profile pictures on Facebook to their Kupa Keep variants. They prove helpful too, by beating up a bunch of the enemies located behind the school and unlocking the back door if you're with Cartman. After this event they recognize The New Kid as a true goth, and Michael is pretty chill around them.

He even seems to have rubbed off on The New Kid, as at the end of the game, they tell the other boys "Screw you guys, I'm going home.", which could be an attitude picked up from the goths.

South Park: The Fractured But Whole[]

Michael and the other Goth Kids can be found in Henrietta's Bedroom. The New Kid is required to complete a ritual in the room before they can take a selfie. Michael still seems pretty friendly with The New Kid, even smiling in his selfie when many other characters in game will not. He doesn't seem to like doing it, though.

South Park: Phone Destroyer[]

Prominence[]

Movies[]

References[]

Goth Kids
Henrietta BiggleMichaelPeteFirkle Smith
More Information: "Raisins" • "The Ungroundable" • "Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers"


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See also
List of Female 4th Graders | List of Male 4th Graders | Portal:Characters
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