South Park Archives
Advertisement

"Merry Fucking Christmas" is a song sung by Mr. Garrison in the Season Three episode, "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics".

Background[]

Mr. Garrison teaches his class through the aid of this song how other countries such as India, Japan, and the Arab nations do not celebrate Christmas.

Lyrics[]

I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus,
They have different religious beliefs

They believe in Muhammad
And not in our holiday,
And so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say...

Hey there, Mr. Muslim!
Merry fucking Christmas!
Put down that book the Quran,
And hear some holiday wishes!

In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus' birthday!
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
and fucking celebrate!

There is no holiday season
in India, I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings,
And that is just absurd!

They've never read a Christmas story,
They don't know what Rudolph is about,
And that is why in December,
I'll go to India and shout...

Hey there, Mr. Hinduist!
Merry fucking Christmas!
Drink eggnog and eat some beef,
And pass it to the missus!

In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus' birthday!
So get off your heathen Hindu ass,
and fucking celebrate!

Now I heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin.

On December 25th,
All they do is eat a cake,
And that is why I go to Japan,
And walk around and say...

Hey there, Mr. Shintoist!
Merry fucking Christmas!
God is gonna kick your ass,
You infidelic pagan scum!

In case you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do!
So let's all rejoice for Jesus,
And Merry fucking Christmas to you.

On Christmas Day,
I travel 'round the world and say,
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too
Merry Fucking Christmas to you!

(Clapping) Oh, thank you, Mr. Hat.

Trivia[]

  • "Merry Fucking Christmas" was one of several songs performed at the South Park: The 25th Anniversary Concert. The performance was complemented with video clips from various Christmas-themed episodes such as "Red Sleigh Down" and "Christmas Snow".
    • The song was not shown in the final broadcast version, mostly due to Trey Parker misspelling a verse on the second night of the concert.
  • The chorus of the song features a very similar composition to "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch", to the point of even using the same instrumental hook at the end of each chorus.


Songs from Season Three
Auld Lang Syne | Believe | Carol of the Bells | Christmas Medley | Christmas Time in Hell | Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel | Falling Away from Me | Getting Gay With Kids | Got to Buy Chinpokomon | Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas | Help Me Buy Chinpokomon | Holy Diver | Home School Miracle | I Am Chewbacca | I Hate You Guys | I Saw Three Ships | Kumbaya | Love Bug | Merry Fucking Christmas | Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo | My Country Tis of Thee | O Holy Night | O Tannenbaum | Rebecca's Song | Sexual Harassment Panda | Shelly, Shelly | Silver Bells | Sleigh Ride | Soaring So High | The Brown Note | The Menstrual Cycle Song | The Morning After | Turds! | Wild Wild West Rap | You and Me, Girl

See also: List of Songs | List of Minor Characters from Season Three | Season Three

Advertisement