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	Tom's Rhinoplasty. A government agent speaks with Bannon.
Government agent	The political world is watching, Bannon. [gives Bannon a file] We need to make sure the president elect has a smooth transition.
Bannon	All indications are that his transition [flips a page] is going to be fine.
Surgeon	[walks by] We're just doing the finishing touches; but everything went well. You can see him now if you like.
Caitlyn	I'll go.
	Caitlyn walks into a technologically advanced room where Garrison is seen having a blond, push-back wig put on his head by a mechanical arm.
Garrison	[talks with Caitlyn] Well, do I look presidential?
Caitlyn	Honestly, you look twenty years younger.
Garrison	They really worked on my stank face. Look! Whenever I don't know what people are talking about, I just do this [lowers his body] like look [shows his stank face] I can do this [shows his stank face again] This is, this is my stank face [shows a different stank face]. It's like I'm not listening to you. [shows his other stank face] They did a really good job on my stank lips.
Caitlyn	It's an amazing transition.
Garrison	Now I feel ready to take care of business and do what really matters; [sits up straight] in just a minute, I'm gonna do the UV rays a bit longer.
	[the machine closes enseals Garrison]
	SpaceX. Cartman and Heidi walk to the desk.
Secretary	Can I help you?
Cartman	Hello. I understand that you're trying to get to Mars. This is my girlfriend, Heidi. She's really smart and really funny.
Secretary	Okay.
Cartman	We've given up social media and we like to be somewhere as far from the Internet as possible. Is it true Mars would have really shitty Wi-Fi?
Secretary	That'd be an understatement: yes.
Cartman	Well we like to go. We can't tolerate this world anymore and we like to talk to whoever we can as soon as possible please.
Secretary	Uh-huh. Take a number and join the others.
Cartman	What others?
	[Cartman, Heidi, and the secretary turn their heads see a bunch of other people waiting, including Cher singing]
Cartman	What the fuck, dude?!
Secretary	A lot of people want to leave the planet right now.
Cartman	Ah god dammit, is that Cher?!
	South Park Elementary: principal's office.
PC Principal	God [knocks down papers] dammit! [knocks down lamp] How the fuck did this happen?!
Mackey	[knocks the door and opens it] Uh, sorry PC Principal, but someone wants to speak with you.
PC Principal	I told you to leave me alone, Mackey, [slams fist on the desk] I'm not in the mood!
Mackey	But but sir, the president elect is here. [moves away from Garrison]
Garrison	[enters the office with two Secret Service agents following him] So sorry for the intrusion. You're not too busy, I hope.
PC Principal	Uh, not at all. Please uh, have a seat, Mr. Garrison.
Garrison	Excuse me.
PC Principal	Uh, please have a seat, Mr. ... President.
Garrison	That's better, bitch. [sits down and takes out a piece of gum]
PC Principal	Certainly want to uh, congratulate you on the election.
Garrison	Do you remember the day you've fired me, PC Principal?
PC Principal	I know we've had some differences.
Garrison	I was upset because a bunch of immigrants were changing my class and I believe your response was that I needed to go and "learn their language", "be more open-minded".
PC Principal	I'm sorry that your position here at the school was terminated.
Garrison	Are you really? [makes stank face] Are you really sorry? [makes different stank face] Because you see PC Principal, you helped create me. You insisted that I was a biggin, that I was an intolerant relic leftover from a different time. But now, I'm your president; and one thing I learned about becoming president is that your penis can get really dry. When all the skin on your penis is drying out from working so hard to get elected there's only one thing that isn't there: saliva, from a good friend that once doubted you. I need you to fix my problem, PC Principal so that we can be Even-Stevens. What do you say, bud?
PC Principal	[is in complete shock]
	Outside of unknown club. Two people got out of the club. The berries head to a tiny door.
Unknown Berries	Oh, 'member when it fell in her drink. Yeah, I 'member.
Memberberry 1	'Member when Han shot Grutto?
Memberberry 2	Sure, I 'member Grutto?
Tubbs	Ha, I 'member Grutto?
Memberberry 3	'Member?
Memberberry 1	[knocks at the small door]
Guard Berry	[opens small window] What's the password, 'member?
Memberberry 3	Yeah, I 'member.
Memberberry 1	You 'member?
Guard Berry	I 'member. [opens the door, lets the berries in, and then closes the door immediately]
	Inside a Memberberry bar. Random berries keep on saying "'Member"
Memberberry 1	Ha ha, 'member this place? [hops away]
Memberberry 2	Sure, I 'member. [rolls away]
Memberberry 4	[hops away] 'Member the 10-10-4?
Memberberry 1	Oh, I love that ship. [stops moving]
Memberberry 3	[goes with the other berries and talks to old berry] Hi, it's us, 'member?!
Old Berry	Ah sure, I do'member.
Memberberry 4	We did the thing with throwing Micky in the drink, 'member?!
Old Berry	Ah sure, I 'member; just 'cause of you, we won the election.
Tubbs	Yeah yeah, 'member?
Don Berry	Waiter, fountain drinks for our heroes here, 'member?
Waiter Berry	I 'member.
Don Berry	You done good poisoning the lady's drink. Now our man's in office, 'member? But I still have things I need you to do.
Tubbs	Hehe, hehe, I 'member.
	TrollTrace Headquarters: vault. Gerald repeatedly knocks on the exit door with all his might.
Gerald	Please, you have to let me outta here!
Dick	Skankhunt, stop!
Bedrager	[talks from above] Yes please. You're making a jackass of yourself.
Gerald	[walks to see Bedrager's face]
Bedrager	Well well, what do we have here? Looks like your little troll-party.
Troll 4	You Danish pricks, you tricked us.
Bedrager	We didn't trick you, your own government did. They thought if they handed you over to us we would agree not to go forward with the TrollTrace program.
Gerald	You can't hold people prisoner. I haven't done anything! People are gonna be looking for me!
Bedrager	[takes out his phone] By all means, [tosses the phone to Gerald] contact whoever you want. Of course, you'll have to tell them why you're here.
Dick	What are you gonna do with us?
Bedrager	We're going to use you, to set the world on fire. When the servers go online there'll be chaos, panic, and war; and from the ashes a new world will rise: a world where everyone is happy, and singing, and has no secrets, [yells] like Denmark! [punches a railing]
Dick	You think you can turn countries in the world against each other? Our president will never let that happen.
	Unknown supermarket. Garrison and Secret Service agents enter the store.
Garrison	Hey everybody! [walks to a checkout line, takes a mic, and hums "Hail To The Chief"] Guess who's here? It's the President of the United Fucking States. [mic drop, then walks around the store] Oh, it's been a while since I've heard from you guys. Hello, Janice. [takes a small bottle of water from her shopping basket and opens it, tossing the cap away] Hi, Stephen.
Stephen	[looks away] Mr. President.
Garrison	[walks around the store some more] I was just, you know, passin' through the old neighborhood [checks out a tomato paste can from another shopper] thinking about what laws I might get rid of, why suddenly, out of nowhere, my penis got really dry. You know if they have anything at this store for a dry dick? Huh? No? You guys can't think of anything? Oh, I know. How about [points to] Eduardo Hernandez? I believe it was Eduardo who told me I couldn't double-bag my groceries, even though he's from fuckin Guatemala. Well what do you think now, Eduardo? You wanna double-bag somethin' else? [his phone rings, and he pulls out out of his back pocket to answer it] This is the President.
General	Sir, we need you at the Pentagon. It's a matter of national security.
Garrison	Oh, really? I'm kinda busy here, jeez.
General	Sir, the Danish have released a statement. I'm afraid... we may be going to war.
Garrison	War?
	Ike's room, day. He's playing a first-person shooter game when a Skype call comes in.
Gerald	Ike?! Ike, buddy, can you hear me?! I need you to do something, okay? Daddy needs your help! I need you to go to your browser and sign on to the school message board, okay? Can you do that for me? The school message board and then log in. Lowercase S, skank-hunt-4-2. You got it?
Dick	Wow.
End of Members Only