Marjorine/Script

General

Trivia

Images

Script

Extras

Watch Episode

"Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow/Script"

"Marjorine/Script"

"Follow That Egg!/Script"

Cast

• Stan Marsh
• Kyle Broflovski
• Eric Cartman
• Butters Stotch/Marjorine
• Stephen Stotch
• Linda Stotch
• Clyde Donovan
• Heidi Turner
• Bebe Stevens
• Wendy Testaburger
• Craig Tucker
• Red
• Ms. Garrison
• Mr. Turner
• Nancy Turner
• Kevin Stoley
• Isla
• Jason White
• Bradley Biggle
• Old Farmer
• Father Maxi
• Rachel
• Officer 1
• Officer 2
• Officer 3
• Doctor

Script

Marjorine
	Cartman's basement, afternoon. The fourth grade boys are seated at a large conference table. Stan and Kyle come down the stairs and see the rest of the boys. At table are, counterclockwise, Clyde, Kevin, Tolkien, Craig, Bradley, Butters, a black-haired boy, Timmy, Francis, Tweek, and Kenny.
Kyle	What are all you guys doing here?
Clyde	I don't know. I got this emergency letter from Cartman that said to meet in his basement. [shows letter]
Stan	Yeah, us too.
Cartman	[closes the door and comes downstairs] Ah, gentlemen, thank you for coming. We don't have a lot of time, so I'll cut to the chase. The girls at our school have been hiding something from us, hiding something huge.
Craig	What?
Cartman	What if I were to tell you that the girls have a device, which allows them to see... into the future.
Stan	What?
Butters	How do you know?
Kyle	The girls do not have a device that shows them the future Cartman. That's retarded.
Clyde	[in an English accent. Cartman looks on, startled] YOU, SIR, MOCKED CARTMAN BEFORE, YET YOU TWO SIT HERE DEMANDING ANSWERS! [bangs on the table twice with his fist] NOW DAMN YOU, LET HIM SPEAK!
Cartman	Thank you, Clyde. Uh, I'm afraid it's true. [pulls TV from the back] I secretly videotaped the girls in the playground yesterday using my Wellington Bear video camera [shows the camera]. I caught the following images on tape. I warn you, this images maybe be too shocking for young children.
Butters	Okay. I'm not lookin'. [buries his face in his arms]
Cartman	Video playback initialized. [presses play on the remote control and the screen shows the girls playing]
	School yard, playing on the TV
Girls	[laugh]
Bebe	Okay, okay. My turn, do me now!
Isla	Okay Bebe. What do you want to know?
Bebe	I want to know if I'm gonna live in a big mansion in the future.
Isla	Okay, let's find out. Ready? [pulls out a paper fortune teller] Pick a number.
Bebe	Four.
Isla	One, two, three, four. Okay, pick a color.
Bebe	Blue.
Isla	B-L-U-E. All right pick another color
Bebe	[off-screen] Red.
Isla	'Kaaay. Okay, will Bebe live in a big mansion in the future? [opens an interior flap] Definitely yes!
Bebe	All right!
Girls	Woohoo! You rock, Bebe!
Boys	Whoa! Wow!
Red	Do me next. I wanna know if I'm gonna marry somebody cute.
Heidi	I'll do it! I'll do it! [takes the teller from the Isla] Pick a number.
Red	Three.
Heidi	One, two, three. Now, pick a color.
Clyde	Where did they get that thing? [Kyle shushes him]
Heidi	G-R-E-E-N.
Red	Now blue!
Heidi	The answer is no. [girls laugh at her]
Red	Aw dangit!
Stan	Oh my God, how does it know the answer?
Craig	I... don't believe it.
Cartman	Believe it. The girls can ask any question they want and it gives the answer. Freeze image! [presses the pause button] Gentlemen, we have to get our hands on that device.
	Cartman's backyard. The boys set up a containment tent. Tolkien, Jason, and Kenny use pulleys to pull up the tent curtains. Craig and Bradley pull up a chalkboard with pictures of the girls. Someone rolls out the blueprints of the future telling device. The boy with the blue cap carries a box of equipment over to somewhere. The boys do other various tasks, Francis is at another computer.
Cartman	[comes to Clyde and Kevin's table] How is the incubation shield coming Clyde?
Clyde	It's all set. Once we have the device, it can be housed in here safely until we know what we're dealing with.
Cartman	Good man. [goes over to the computer Kyle, Stan, and Tolkien are working on] Any luck here?
Kyle	The outside of the device seems to be covered in numerals. Inside are colors... which must open up to some sort of temporal time warp.
Cartman	Good. Keep working. We want to know all we can before we try to operate it. [moves to the middle of the tent] All right, gentlemen, our containment center for the time warp is nearly complete. All that's left for us to do is get the device from the girls and bring it here.
Craig	Let's go take it!
Cartman	Don't be a fool, Craig. Do you really think the girls are just gonna hand that technology over?
Stan	So what do you suggest?
Cartman	Heidi Turner [turns on a projector on which is shown her picture] is going to have a slumber party on Thursday night. There's no doubt in my mind the girls will be using the future-telling device there. If we... can get somebody invited to that slumber party, not only can we get a hold of the device, but find out how to use it.
Stan	Yeah, there's just one problem: a boy can't go to a chicks' slumber party.
Cartman	No, not a boy, but a girl. One of us is gonna have to go undercover, show up in school tomorrow disguised as the new girl who just moved to town.
Kevin	You mean like that movie, Juwanna Mann?
Cartman	No, not like Juwanna Mann, Kevin, okay? It's way cooler than that!
Stan	But if one of us pretends to be the new girl in class, the girls will wonder where that boy went.
Cartman	Which is why we have to fake that boy's death. It's simple spy stuff, my friends. Take your top man, fake his death, then send him in disguised as the enemy.
Kyle	That's a pretty solid idea. But who?
	The Stotch house, night. A police stops and two police officers arrive at the front door and knock the door
Officer 1	Mr. and Mrs. Stotch?
Stephen	Yes? What is it, officer?
Officer 1	You'd better come quick.
Officer 2	Your son is at the Bowery Building threatening to kill himself.
Linda	What?!
	The Bowery Building. Police and people are gathering on the grounds and two spotlights shine on Butters who's standing on the roof's edge, ready to fall
Officer 2	Don't do it son! You have too much to live for! [a patrol car pulls up with Stephen and Linda]
Linda	Oh my God, Butters!
Butters	Oh uh, hi Mom.
Cartman	[behind Butters] Just keep stalling, Butters. We don't have the dead pig quite ready yet. [Clyde, Stan, and Craig dress the pig while Cartman makes a Butter mask for it]
Stephen	[grabs the bullhorn from the officer] Butters? Butters, whatever is troubling you, this isn't the answer. Look at all these people who've come out for you! Just come down, son, and... we promise we won't ground you for more than a couple of weeks.
Butters	N'aw geez! Now I'm gonna get grounded, too.
Cartman	Okay, it's ready! Step down, Butters. [the pig is done, Butters steps down, and the pig is shoved into place]
Linda	He, h-he's coming down! Oh thank God!
Officer 1	No, wait. What... what's he doing? [the Butters mask appears over the ledge]
Cartman	Okay. One! Two! [Craig, Clyde, and Stan push the dressed pig]
Officer 3	JESUS CHRIST! [Linda screams. The pig drops to the ground and explodes, splattering everyone around with blood and guts]
Linda	OHHHH MY GOD!!
Doctor	[walks up to the body and rests his finger on a completely exposed blood vein] He... didn't make it.
Linda	NOOOOO!! NOOOOO!! My son is DEAD!! NOOOO!!
Cartman	Nice.
	South Park Cemetery
Priest Maxi	And he shall be remembered as the peaceful little boy who warmed his parent's hearts. [Linda sobs uncontrollably] Lord, as we commit this child's body to the earth, may we ask it'd be the last child you strike down so mercilessly. We know this request to be futile, Lord, but just though we would ask. [the casket is lowered]''
Linda	NOOOO! NOOOO! BUTTERS! [jumps on the casket and Stephen and another woman holds her] Don't put him down there! Don't put him down there!
	South Park elementary, Ms. Garrison enters
Ms. Garrison	Okay children, let's take our seats. Now I know that we're all still in deep, deep mourning over the tragic death of our classmate, Butters.
Red	Who's Butters?
Ms. Garrison	But we all must try to move on. And so I'd like you to help me welcome a new student who was just moved here from Dallas. Children please say hello to... Marjorine. [Butters enters dressed as Marjorine, a blonde girl, with wig askew]
Butters	Oh... Thank you. [curtsies]
Cartman	[whispers to Stan]Dude, I think it's totally working. The girls are totally buying it. [clears his throat]
Ms. Garrison	Why don't you tell the children a little bit about yourself, Marjorine?
Butters	Well, I'm just a typical little girl. I like dancin' and ponies. a-and [squeezes his eyes shut] getting my snootch pounded on Friday night.
Clyde	Nice.
Ms. Garrison	Now Marjorine, that's not very ladylike. Us Colorado girls love to get pounded in the snootch just like any woman, but we keep it to ourselves.
Butters	Oh...
Bebe	That girl sure has a strange sense of fashion.
Cartman	[pretends like he's yawning] Dude, they totally think he's a girl. [coughs]
Ms. Garrison	All right, have a seat, Marjorine. I'm sure all the other girls will be happy to show you around the school. [the girls look cross] Won't you, girls?
Red	Where do you buy your clothes?
Butters	Oh. Uhm, you know. Girl places.
Cartman	[pretends like he's yawning] Dude, they've bought it hook line and sinker. [coughs] This is going swimmingly. [coughs]
	Turner's house, basement. Heidi hums while stirring lemonade.
Mrs. Turner	[enters the basement carrying a bowl] Heidi, sweetie, I'm just gonna set the snacks over here.
Heidi	'Kay Mom.
Mrs. Turner	Oh, and Heidi, there's going to be one extra girl coming to your slumber party.
Heidi	Who?
Mrs. Turner	The new girl in your class, Marjorine.
Heidi	Mom, I didn't invite her!
Mrs. Turner	I know, sweetie, but I got a call from Marjorine's mother.
Heidi	Her mother?
Mrs. Turner	She said Marjorine is having a really hard time being in a new school. Her mom asked me personally if we could have Marjorine over, and besides, her mother told me that she works as a state official and that I should [slows down a bit] respect her authoratay.
	Stotch house. Linda is crying in the bedroom.
Stephen	Linda? Linda, please come downstairs.
Linda	[through her tears] Why couldn't we help him? Why is our little boy dead? [continues crying. Stephen leaves her alone and walks downstairs]
Stephen	[sees Butters on a family portrait] Oh butter! Oh Butters, I miss you so much! [the doorbell rings and he opens the door]
An Old Farmer	Mr. Stotch. I know what you're thinkin'.
Stephen	Who are you?
An Old Farmer	[in a spooky accent] I came to talk you out of it. You need to... just accept that your son is dead, not try to bring him back.
Stephen	Bring him back? W-What are you talking about?
An Old Farmer	[comes in] I know you're thinkin' of puttin'; him up there, the Indian Burial Ground up that road. You're thinking if you bury his body there, he will come back alive. Sometimes, dead is better.
Stephen	Indian... Burial Ground?
An Old Farmer	It's been done before, what you're thinkin' of. The Nelson boy, back in '85.
Stephen	You're saying if I... dig up my son's body and rebury him at the... old Indian Burial Ground, that I-
An Old Farmer	Don't do it Stotch! What comes out of the ground ain't the thing you put in. The Indians knew that. That's why they stopped using it when the ground went sour. I'm just here to talk you out of it. [walks towards the front door, which is still open, then turns around] Don't bury your son's body at the Indian Burial Ground, Stotch! The one that's right up over there, behind Andersons' bar. Sometimes... dead is better. [walks out]
	Heidi's house. Across the street, the boys peek out from behind bushes
Stan	All right, Butters, that's Heidi's house.
Butters	[dressed as Marjorine] I can't do it, fellas. I can't go into a girls' slumber party! What if they find out I ain't a girl?
Clyde	You're gonna be fine.
Cartman	Now Butters, we don't know exactly what is that girls do at their slumber parties. But if they start, you know, lezzing out, just roll with it.
Butters	Lezzing out? What's lezzing out?
Kyle	Now look, Butters, when the girls bring out the future-telling device, pay attention to how it works. Once you know how to operate it, just grab it and get the hell out of there.
Butters	Then I can go home and tell my mommy and daddy I'm not really dead?
Stan	Yeah dude, of course. Now go, the party's already started.
Clyde	Good luck, man. [Kyle gives him a push, and Butters is off]
Cartman	Remember Butters, you must get that future-telling device from the girls at all costs! And just roll with it if they start lezzing out. [Kyle glares at him]
	Heidi's house, basement. Heidi's father enters the room with the build of a bodybuilder, and her mother.
Mr. Turner	All right, now we all want you to have a good time. But as Heidi's parents, tonight it is our responsibility to look out for all of you. There's not gonna be any drinking, no pot, and most importantly, if I catch any boys anywhere near this party, they're gonna be in a world of hurt. [Butters mumbles and sighs a bit] All right, have a nice time, girls. [both parents leave]
Heidi	So, what do you guys wanna do first?
Bebe	We could play "girl talk." [the other girls approve]
Red	I bought the new Justin Timberlake CD. We should dance to it. [the other girls approve again]
Butters	How about we read each other's future?
Wendy	I know. Let's do "Light as a feather, stiff as a board." [the girls approve, then spread out. Isla and Emily light candles and place them on the rug. Bebe turns the lights off, and the girls gather, making a circle around the candles] Who wants to do it first?
Red	I will. [gets in the middle and lays down]
Butters	Oh geez, are we gonna start lezzing out? [the girls look at Butters in astonishment for a moment, then they turn back to the center of the circle]
Wendy	Light as a feather, stiff as a board.
Girls	[getting louder as Red begins to float upwards] Light as a feather, stiff as a board! [Red is floating, making Butters scream]
	Outside, the boys are hearing Butters scream.
Kyle	Jesus, what are they doing in there?
Cartman	God only knows the horrors that go on in girls' slumber parties. Let's just hope Butters can survive it.
	Back to Heidi's house
Butters	AAAAAAAH NOO! Witches! You're all witches! [Red floats back down, Bebe turn on the lights, and Heidi faces Butters]
Heidi	Marjorine, what is your problem?
Butters	Huh? Oh nothin'. Hey, you guys wanna tell each other's futures now?
Red	Yeah. I can tell your future, Marjorine! You're going to live alone your entire life because you're a nerdy, dorky geek.
Heidi	Yeah, and your hair is totally stupid. [Butters looks at his hair ashamed]
Bebe	Yeah, and you're flat! [Butters looks down at his chest]
Red	Marjorine, why don't you just leave? Nobody wants you here!
	South Park cemetery. Butters' tombstone is shown. Stephen approaches with a shovel, and kneels to the grave
Stephen	Hello son. Don't you worry. Daddy's gonna make everything all right again. [begins shoveling dirt out of the way as the sky crackles with thunder and lightning. He finally reaches the coffin and opens it] There he is. There's my boy! Come on, Butters! [lifts the pig out of the coffin] Oh... Butters... you smell like... bacon [carries the carcass] Don't worry. We're gonna bring you back, son. We're gonna bring you back!
	Heidi's house, basement
Wendy	I think we went too far with Marjorine.
Bebe	She's in the bathroom crying. [the girls move towards the bathroom]
Heidi	[knocks on bathroom door] Marjorine.
Butters	[sobbing inside] Nobody likes meee...
Bebe	Aw gee, she's really upset.
Wendy	I feel terrible, you guys. It can't be easy being the new girl in school.
Heidi	Marjorine? Marjorine? Hey, we didn't mean it.
Butters	You don't know how hard it is to be me. [continues sobbing]
Bebe	Marjorine, we were just teasing. We think you're great.
Butters	You think I'm ugly-ehehee...
Wendy	You're not ugly, Marjorine.
Butters	You said I'm ugly and flat.
Heidi	Marjorine, you just have a different look, that's all. We just... we need to help you bring out your inner beauty.
Wendy	Yeah. How about we all give you a little makeover, Marjorine?
Girls	Yeah. Let's go!
Butters	[opens the door] You mean it?
	Outside Turner's house, the boys keep watching.
Kyle	Dude, it's been too long. Something's wrong. [Craig takes out binoculars to look]
Stan	Maybe they found him out.
Clyde	Then, he's already dead.
Stan	Come on, we gotta go check on him. [Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny move towards the house, reaching the storm cellar.]
Kyle	Can you see anything? [the boys see Butters dancing with the other girls to Justin Timberlake's song "Rock Your Body"]
Stan	He's just dancing around.
Cartman	That son of a bitch!
Mrs. Turner	Marjorine, sweetie your mom's on the phone.
Butters	[stops dancing] My mom? [goes upstairs to the kitchen to answer the phone] Hello?
Cartman	Butters! Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?!
Butters	Well, I'm just having some fun with my girlfriends.
Cartman	You aren't there to have fun, you black asshole! You were supposed to be getting the future-telling device.
Butters	Well, I'm workin' on it.
Cartman	Working on what?! Your dance moves?!
Butters	Now look! I'm getting pretty sick of this! Well I put myself through a lot, and you can't talk to me like that! Uh... mom.
Cartman	Just do what you were sent to do, dickface! [hangs up]
	The Indian Burial Ground, Stephen gets in the middle and starts digging a hole in order to bury "Butters" again.
	Heidi's house. Butters returns to the basement
Red	He yMarjorine, you wanna know your future?
Butters	Ah. Uhh, could I hold that?
Heidi	Sure. [hands the future teller to Butters, but doesn't take it yet] Here, you do my future.
Butters	How?
Heidi	Well uh you know, it's easy. You just put your thumbs and index fingers in here...
	Upstairs, Mr. Turner checks with a binocular outdoors. He spots Craig, who senses this and lowers his binoculars
Mr. Turner	Aha! I knew it! Boys in the slumber party!
	Downstairs, Butters gasps
Heidi	There's a boy here?
Butters	[moves towards the stairs pointing the future device] Stand back! I had a... great time tonight, but I gotta do what I was sent here to do! [runs up the stairs and outside]
	Outside.
Craig	He got it! He got the device! [the boys surround Butters]
Cartman	Tango tango tango! We've got it! Let's get it to the containment center! Go! [Clyde runs up, gets it, and runs off]
Stan	Come on, Butters.
Butters	No! That darn device is nothin' but trouble! Ah I'm done, and I'm goin' home to tell my Mom and Dad I'm not dead! [takes off his make up and runs off]
Heidi	[appears at the doorway with her mom and dad and the other girls] What the hell?
Cartman	aahahaha, we have the device now! The power belongs to us! [turns around and runs as the other boys run away]
Heidi	...Anybody have a piece of notebook paper so I can make another one?
	Cartman's backyard
Jason	Go! Go! Get in the containment field! [Clyde enters it and takes the future device attached to a stick, to the incubation shield. He places it inside. A glass covers it and seals it. Clyde then takes off his clothes and enters a decontamination shower]
	The Stotch house
Linda	Stephen, you did what??
Stephen	I had to, Linda. If there was even the slightest chance it would bring him back! I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing anymore!
Linda	You dug up our son's body? Performed some kind of pagan ritual?
Stephen	Linda, I did it for you, you wanted him back so much! So did I!
Linda	Not like this! [slows the voice down] Not like this. He wouldn't be our son, Stephen. He would be a walking abomination. An unholy demon spawn! [knocks are heard on the front door and they both gasp]
Butters	Hello?
Stephen	It's him.
Linda	Keep the door locked.
Butters	Mom? Dad? Uh, it's me, Butters. I'm back. [his parents are horrified]
Linda	Oh God... [Butters knocks again, then tries to turn the doorknob.] No! [Butters keeps trying to open the door, Linda hides her face on Stephen's shoulder. Silence. Linda begins to cry]
Stephen	[soothes her] It's gone, dear. It's gone. Heaven forgived me.
Butters	[enters through the back door] Hey Mom and Dad, I'm not- [Linda screams and hides behind the couch]
Stephen	Oh God, it's terrible. What have I done?!
Butters	Uh, I guess you're probably a little surprised to see me.
Linda	It isn't right! Make it go away!
	The containment center
Cartman	Gentlemen, this is a historic day for all of the boy, and mankind. In a few moments, we will know the future. [handles the future-telling device with black gloves]
Stan	Ho-Hold on on guys. We're not sure what this device is capable of. Maybe we should wait until we've had more time to study it.
Cartman	No, No! We don't have time for that, Stan. It's time to ask questions.
Clyde	How come you get to use it first?
Cartman	Because I do, Clyde.
Craig	I wanna use it.
Cartman	I'm askin' the first question! Let's just start with something simple. Will Kyle die before he's twenty?
Kyle	Wait! I don't wanna know that!
Clyde	Ask if the Broncos are gonna win on Sunday.
Jason	Nah dude, then it won't be fun to watch.
Cartman	Will you all shut up so I can do this!?
Craig	You shut up, asshole.
Kyle	I don't wanna know when I'm going to die, fatass! [everyone starts arguing]
Stan	Guys, guys, guys, stop! [everyone goes silent] Look at what this thing is doing to us. Butters was trying to tell me something outside the house. That this device is nothing but trouble. I think I know what he meant now.
Jason	How could be nothing but trouble?
Stan	We risked everything to get it from the girls. How long before the girls attack us to get it back?
Clyde	Yeah. Forget about the girls. What about if the CIA or, or the Russians know we have this? They'll come after us for sure.
Craig	Maybe we should take it so someplace safer.
Stan	And then what? Hide it forever from the government? From the... terrorists who want to use it for evil? Maybe... maybe nobody is meant to have this kind of power.
Bradley	You mean destroy it?
Cartman	Are you guys nuts?! After everything we've gone through!?
Stan	We got it away from the girls. That's what matters. But now the right thing to do isn't using it ourselves, then we're no better than they are.
Cartman	Think of the power!
Kyle	It's too much power. For anybody. Stan's right. It has to be destroyed.
	In the woods. Kenny pours propane on the future device and walk back to the crowd of boys. He holds in his hand a detonator
Cartman	Are we sure about this? We'll never know the future.
Stan	Nobody will. That's the way it's suppose to be. Hit it, Kenny. [Kenny presses the button, the device explodes, destroying the surrounding area; the explosion is seen from space. Cartman and Kenny get up covered in ashes]
Cartman	Damn, Ken.
	Stotch's house. Stephen takes Linda to the basement while consoling her]''
Stephen	Here. Here, you see? It's going to be all right. Hello... son. [Butters is shown shackled by the neck with chains attached to the basement walls]
Butters	Hi Dad.
Linda	He was supposed to stay dead!
Butters	Mom, Dad, can I come upstairs now?
Stephen	Sorry, son, but... you're a demon spawn now. You're an abomination.
Butters	Can I have something to eat? Well, I'm pretty hungry.
Linda	It's... hungry.
Stephen	Yes, it must feed.
	Upstairs. Stephen opens the front door
Rachel	Hello, I'm Rachel with Quality Curtains.
Stephen	[nervously] Oh yes, thank you for coming.
Rachel	Which room are we looking at?
Stephen	Just follow me to the basement.
Linda	Yes. The basement.
Rachel	[Rachel enters the basement; she begins walking down the stairs] Oh my, it's pretty dark down here. You sure you need curtains? [sees Butters shackled up] Oh my God!
Butters	Uh hello, I'm Butters.
Rachel	Little boy, what are you doing here? [Stephen kills Rachel with one hit of a shovel]
Butters	Huh?
Stephen	[shoves Rachel's corpse closer to Butters with the shovel] Here you go, son. Eat!
Linda	What are we becoming?!
Stephen	Come on. Don't watch it eat. [they turn around and go up the stairs]
Butters	Can I just have some Spaghetti-O's?
End of Marjorine