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Cast

  • Stan Marsh
  • Kyle Broflovski
  • Eric Cartman
  • Kenny McCormick
  • Butters Stotch
  • Mr. Mackey
  • Randy Marsh
  • Al Gore
  • Tour Guides
  • Tour Group
  • Woman in the Tour Group
  • Firemen
  • Rangers
  • Police Officer
  • HBC Reporter

Script

ManBearPig
South Park Elementary school gym, day. The student body is gathered there to hear from a guest speaker. Mr. Mackey is presiding
Mr. Mackey
M'kay, students, we have a very special guest speaker today. Who can tell me the name of our country's last vice-president?
Kyle
Dick Cheney?
Mr. Mackey
No, the last one.
Butters
Bill Clinton.
Mr. Mackey
No, Clinton's vice-president. [no one has an answer] He is here today to talk to you students about some very serious issues. Please welcome Al Gore. [some applause. Al Gore arrives and Mr. Mackey steps away to one side]
Stan
Who?
Al Gore
Thank you, Mr. Mackey, students of South Park Elementary.. I'm here to educate you about the single biggest threat to our planet. You see, there is something out there which threatens our very existence and may be the end of the human race as we know it. I'm talking of course about... [a projector comes on and a picture of a monster appears] ManBearPig. [a beast with the legs and tail of a pig, the body and arms of a bear, and the face and upper-body posture of a man]
Kyle
[softly, to Stan] ManBearPig? [Stan just turns his hands up and shrugs]
Al Gore
It is a creature which roams the earth alone. It is half man, half bear, and half pig. Some people say that ManBearPig isn't real. Well, I'm here to tell you know, ManBearPig is very real, and he most certainly exists. I'm serial. ManBearPig doesn't care who you are or what you've done. ManBearPig simply wants to get you! I'm super-serial. [Mr. Mackey and Mrs. Garrison just look at each other.] But have no fear, because I am here to save you! And someday, when the world is rid of ManBearPig, everyone will say "Thank you, Al Gore. You're super awesome." The end.
Mr. Mackey
[reappears and claps a little] Uhhh, ohhhkay, thank you Mr. Gore.
Al Gore
Thank you, class. Excelsior! [Stan and Kyle just blink at each other]
South Park, evening. The boys are playing basketball in a neighborhood park. Cartman has possession of the ball
Cartman
[giggles as he dribbles] Check out this sweet move. [tries to dribble around Kyle, but Kyle blocks him] Kyle, you can't block like that.
Kyle
Just play the game, fatass!
Stan
[open under the net] Pass it to me, Cartman?
Cartman
Hang on. I'm going to do something killer. [tries to fake Kyle out, but Kyle taps the ball away. Cartman goes after it] God damnit, stop it, Kyle!
nearby, as the moon rises over the mountains, a shadow moves across the forest, its claws fairly visible
Cartman
[tries again, moving Kyle back some] All right, check it out. This is a total Kobe Bryant I'm about to do. [keeps dribbling without making a move]
Kyle
Just take a shot or pass the ball, asshole! It's getting late!
the beast moves closer to some bushes, then stands up and sees the basketball court
Cartman
Let's just see who gets the ball this time, Jewboy! [again tries to get by Kyle, but Kyle taps the ball away again. Cartman chases it down again.] Kyle, knock it off! [the beast breaks through the bushes and steps onto the basketball court. Cartman continues to dribble]
Stan
Cartman, stop hogging the goddamned ball!
Beast
FOOD! [it's Al Gore in a homemade ManBearPig costume. The boys turn to see who it is] Don't worry, it's not really ManBearPig. It's me, Al Gore.
Kyle
We know. [several seconds of silence follow]
Cartman
Dude, what are you doing?
Al Gore
I'm spreading ManBearPig awareness. Here, each of you kids take a pamphlet and a bumper sticker. [Kyle looks at the sticker; the sticker has a "ManBearPig" crossed out by a red circle and bar, and the words "We must all stop ManBearPig" to the left of the ManBearPig] I hope now you boys see that this is totally serial. The next time, it could be the "real" ManBearPig. Can I just get you to sign the awareness sheet? Just your name and phone number and where you first heard about ManBearPig?
Randy
[waiting nearby in the family car] Uhh, Stan?
Stan
Oh, hey Dad.
Al Gore
[turns around slowly and waves] Hello.
Randy
[vigilant] It's ah, getting late, boys. Why don't you get in the car and I'll drive you all home?
Kyle
Okay, Mr. Marsh. [the boys move towards the car]
Al Gore
Be safe. [the boys get in the car and Randy drives off. Al Gore looks on as they leave, then turns around and walks off in the opposite direction]
Randy's car.
Randy
Boys, I don't want you hanging out with that ex vice-president anymore, okay?
Stan
Aw, he's all right, Dad. He was just trying to warn us about ManBearPig.
Randy
ManBearPig?
Kyle
He's half man and half bearpig
Cartman
No, dude, he's half man and half bear and half pig.
Kyle
That doesn't make any sense.
Stan
He could be half bear, half manpig.
Randy
Boys, there's no such thing as a ManBearPig. The vice president is just desperate for attention.
Stan
But I feel kind of bad for him, Dad. I don't think he has any friends.
Stan's room, night. He's fast asleep when his phone rings. Stan sits up and rubs his eyes, then hops off his bed and goes to answer the phone on his desk.
Stan
Hello?
Al Gore
Hello, this is Al Gore.
Stan
[shuts his eyes and covers them with his left hand] Oh man... Hi Mr. Gore.
Al Gore
I was the vice president.
Stan
I know.
Al Gore
Can you and your friends make it to an emergency ManBearPig meeting tomorrow morning? I have some evidence he could be in this area.
Stan
Eh look, I'm sorry but, we're all kind of busy.
Al Gore
[several seconds of silence] Oh. I get it. You don't believe me either.
Stan
No, no, it's not that.
Al Gore
Yes it is. Nobody believes me! [gets emotional] I'm trying to warn everybody and nobody takes me serial! [begins weeping over the phone] I just want somebody in the world to take me serial just for once.
Stan
Ih it's okay, Mr. Gore, I, I believe you.
Al Gore
No you don't.
Stan
Yeah, I'm sure ManBearPig needs to be stopped. I'm just... I'm just scared that I can't do anything to stop him.
Al Gore
Are you serial?
Stan
...Yes, I'm serial.
Al Gore
[reinvigorated] Don't worry! We CAN stop him! Bring everyone you can to my ManBearPig meeting tomorrow at 8 a.m. sharp! [hangs up]
A Komfort Inn, morning. The boys climb up to the second floor and walk to Room 2B
Cartman
Dude, why are we going to hang out with this guy?
Kenny
(Yeah, I don't get it.)
Stan
Come on, you guys, Al Gore doesn't have any friends. We'll just make an appearance at his little meeting and then we'll go. [the door opens and Al Gore greats the boys]
Al Gore
Hi kids! Come on in! [the boys follow him in] Okay, let's get this meeting started. What do you kids think we should do to stop ManBearPig?
Stan
Yyeah, you know, Mr. Gore, uh, my dad's a geologist, and he said that ManBearPig probably isn't in Colorado.
Al Gore
[alerted, goes down on one knee] What does your dad look like?? Does he have large hooves where his feet should be??
Stan
NO.
Al Gore
Damn. For a minute there, I thought we found him.
Stan
Well, this was a great meeting. Wasn't it, guys? But, we gotta get goin' to school now.
Al Gore
[an alarm goes off nearby] Oh my God! [runs to his control center and leans back in his chair to look closely at his monitor. He begins to type quickly] ManBearPig screen active! What is this area of Colorado! It's a it's a cave of some kind! [a map of Cave of the Winds is shown, with the target below the text blinking]
Kyle
Yeah, that's Cave of the Winds. It's a tourist attraction.
Al Gore
Oh Jesus on ice skates, we've gotta get down there right away.
Cartman
Ah I don't think so, dude. [the boys head for the door]
Kyle
Yeah, we've got school anyway.
Al Gore
I can get you all excused from school. [the boys stop in their tracks and turn around.]
Cartman
You... have that kind of power?
Al Gore
Look! You boys have a chance to help me find and kill ManBearPig once and for all! I'm totally serial!
Wonderful Cave of the Winds, day, inside. A tour group gathers to embark on its tour
Tour Guide
Hello everyone, welcome to Cave of the Winds. Our tour is gonna take us to two chambers in one of the most elaborate cavern systems in Colorado. [his head bobs as he sighs] Before we get started I do understand we have a special guest in our group today: the ex vice president, Mr. Al Gore. [one or two people clap, and Gore smiles at the two ladies, one on either side of him] Mr. Gore asked me to make sure you all knew he was here. Now, once we enter the cave we do ask you that you follow two rules: stay on the path and do not touch anything. Aright, are we ready?
Group
Yeah.
Tour Guide
Let's go cavin'. [turns on his headlight, opens the velvet rope and leads the group into the cave]
The tour.
Tour Guide
Here we are in the main chamber of the cave; it was discovered in 1892 and first used as a hideout for smugglers of the Old West.
Al Gore
Have you noticed high deposits of sulfur or a salmon-like odor coming from the caves lately?
Tour Guide
[to Al Gore] Ahh, no. [addressing the group] Now, as you can see, the cave is filled with stalagmites and stalactites. Water drips from the cave's...
Al Gore
All right, kids, I need you to keep an eye out for ManBearPig droppings.
Kyle
What do ManBearPig droppings look like?
Al Gore
Similar to pig droppings, but more manbearlike.
Tour Guide
These rocks often make interesting shapes which we like to name. For instance, this one here we named "The Hanging Mushroom." [a solid stalactite in the shape of a penis] And over here we have "Man With Helmet and Two Bowling Balls." [a massive stalagmite, again in the shape of a penis and two large testicles] And finally, of course, the "Two Sisters." [two smaller stalagmites, each the shape of a penis and testicles] Now the cave itself is millions of years old and has a constant temperature of 57 degrees.
Al Gore
Groan! Groan! [this stops the tour and everyone turns to face him]
Tour Guide
Sir? Mr. Gore? Is there a problem?
Al Gore
Not yet.
Tour Guide
All right, everyone, if you'll step this way, you'll see how the cave gets its name. [the group moves forward]
Al Gore
[looks at an opening and motions the kids over] Kids! Kids, over here! Look.
Kyle
What?
Al Gore
I bet this is where he's hiding. [shines his light around] This looks like ManBearPig Central. Come on! [goes down the path he found] Come on! This is where ManBearPig is! I'm serial! [the boys follow him down the path. They have officially broken from the group.]
Tour Guide
In certain areas of the cave, the wind actually blows through, causing a sound you can hear. [the cave begins to howl]
Group
Wow...
Woman
Take a picture of the sound, Steven. [her husband takes the picture.]
Al Gore's path
Stan
Mr. Gore, I I think we should stay with the tour group.
Al Gore
[hearing the wind] Wait! Shhh. [concludes] Christ! He's here! Take this rope! [hands some rope to Stan] Be ready to tie him up! [brings out a shotgun] I've got you now, you son of a bitch! [begins shooting randomly, and bits of the cave ceiling begin falling]
Kyle
What are you doing?! [bigger chunks of cave fall between Al Gore and the boys]
Stan
Oh no!
Al Gore
No!
The Boys
Aaaah! [the boys are now sealed off from Al Gore. Gore turns around and assumes the worst]
Al Gore
Leave them alone, you Goddamned ManBearPig!
The Boys
Help!
Al Gore
Damn you ManBearPig! They're just children!
The tour. Chunks of cave begin falling along its path as well, and the tour guide takes appropriate action
Tour Guide
O-kay, everyone, out of the cave. Now! [the group turns around and runs back towards the entrance. The collapse follows the group] Go! Go! Go out, now! [the last person out of the cave is Al Gore, and the cave entrance is sealed shut by the collapse of the cave ceiling]
The inner collapse.
Kyle
Hello?
Stan
Help!
Kyle
We're trapped in here!
Cartman
Somebody get us some help down hyah!
Kyle
Hello, help!
Cartman
Hello??
Kenny
(Hello!)
Stan
Help!
Kyle
Forget it! They can't hear us!
Kenny
(What are we gonna do??)
Cartman
[pointing at Stan] You'd better get us out of here, asshole!
Stan
[faces Cartman] Me??
Cartman
You just had to go and be nice to Al Gore! Now we're trapped in a cave!
Stan
Maybe there's another way out of here.
Kenny
(Oh, no kidding.)
Kyle
A-all right, let's split up and look for a passageway. E-everyone take a different direction. [the boys split up. Kyle climbs along a pile of boulders] Oh man, we're in big trouble here.
Cartman
[scrambling along his own path] This is... bullcrap! If I'm thin- I'm gonna be so... pissed off! [loses his footing and slides down some distance to the floor. He gets up and coughs from all the dust that went up around him] Goddammit! [reaches down and grabs his flashlight. He slaps it until it comes back on, coughs, and looks ahead. His eyes grow big. Before him is "Smuggle's Den," a corner of the cave in which sits an open treasure chest and two skeletons guarding it. Gold and jewelry are in and around the chest, while the skeletons have guns in their hands. Cartman approaches slowly, in awe]
Kyle
You see anything, Kenny??
Kenny
(No, nothing!) [Cartman is frozen, speechless]
Kyle
Cartman?? Cartman, you see anything??
Cartman
[in a soft, trembling voice] No, nothing [clears his throat and speaks normally] No, nothing here! Nothing this way! [his eyes fixed on the look, he swoons] Tr... treasure.
Kyle
Cartman, you okay?? [Cartman snaps out of it] You need help??
Cartman
I'm fine! This way is just a... dead end! Coming back to you now! [turns to head back to the other boys, but turns around one last time to remember where the treasure is, then heads back to his friends.]
Kyle
It looks like we're completely sealed in.
Kenny
(Yeah, No shit.)
Stan
[returning] There's a small passageway about 200 yards over there, but... it goes for a long long way and it's pretty steep. [Cartman arrives]
Kyle
Maybe we should go for it.
Cartman
You guys go on ahead. I'm gonna... stay here, wait it out. [the other three boys turn to face him]
Kyle
Why?
Cartman
I just... I I don't feel very good. I'll just wa-, I'll just weigh you guys down.
Stan
Cartman's right. First rule of survival is stay put and wait to be rescued.
Cartman
No, it's okay. You guys go on ahead.
Kyle
No, we'll stay here too. If we start wandering off, we're gonna get lost or killed. Let's just wait here and hope help comes soon.
Cartman
That's cool. I just... I just wouldn't go over there [points to his last location] if I were you guys. I just took a huge dump.
Kyle
Aw, dude! [lifts his jacket over his nose.]
Cave of the Winds, outside. Rescue personnel have arrived and make their way towards the cave entrance. the tour guide demonstrates on a map what happened.
Miner 1
The cave-in was massive. It has cut off all access in or out. The children are believe to be trapped somewhere in this area. [circles with his index finger an area on the right side of the map]
Miner 2
Does anybody know who these kids are?
Miner 1
No, nobody seems to knew them. Only that they were in the tour group. Digging to them is going to take days.
Al Gore
[arrives, interrupting] Excuse me, Excuse me. This cave-in was no accident, and it isn't going to stop unless we move fast! I am super... duper... serial!
Miner 1
What do you mean? The cave-in is over.
Al Gore
I'm afraid you have a much bigger problem than a cave-in.
Miner 1
What's that? [Gore whips out a drawing of ManBearPig]
Fireman
What is that, a pigbearman?
Al Gore
No, stupid! It's ManBearPig!
Back at the inner collapse
Stan
I'm sooo hungry. Do you think people even know we're here?
Kyle
They saw us on the tour. [Cartman comes back from the den] Dude, where do you keep going, Cartman?
Cartman
I just... n-need to keep taking a crap. I got diarrhea, really bad.
Kyle
Dude, it's bad enough we have to sit here without you taking a crap every ten minutes!
Stan
Let's just try to sleep. Maybe help will come tomorrow.
Sleep time at the inner cave-in. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny sleep. Cartman sits alone, smiling
Cartman
[softly throughout] All that treasure. [gets excited] It's all mine! [gets angry] So long as these greedy assholes don't find out about it! [looks at the other boys] You would all just looove to get your hands on my treasure, wouldn't you?! Even though I found it, you'd love to think it's somehow yours, too! God, I hate you guys! [begins to crawl towards Kyle] Especially you, you money-grubbing snake in the grass! [reaches Kyle so that his face is smiling evilly down at Kyle's face. He whispers] Well I have news for you, Kyle! You're never going to get my treasure. I've got a little plan going, to get the treasure out of here without you ever knowing. [Kyle stirs and wakes up]
Kyle
C-Cartman?
Cartman
[says nothing for a few seconds, then] Oh. Hey Kyle. How's it goin'?
Kyle
Dude, what are you doing?
Cartman
Not much. You know, just hangin' out. How've you been, man? Good?
Kyle
Dude, get away from me!
Cartman
Yeah. It's nice talking with you, Kyle. See you around. [gets off Kyle]
Cave of the Winds, outside. The rescue personnel - rangers, firefighters, and paramedics - return to their work
Al Gore
[whining, stamps his right foot when saying "serial"] Why won't anybody listen to me?! ManBearPig is in there and we have to kill him while we all have the chance. I'm serial!
Miner 3
Mr. Gore, please, we need you to calm down. Now, w-what exactly do you suggest we do?
Al Gore
I told you we need to fill the cave with hot molten lead, 'cause it's the only way to make sure ManBearPig never comes out! And I'm sane and I'm totally serial, but everyone just keeps digging!
Miner 3
Well, see, the problem is that if we fill the caves with hot molten lead, it will kill those boys too.
Al Gore
They're already dead! Didn't you listen to me?? They got attacked by a ManBearPig and ManBearPig leaves nobody alive! I'm super serial! Nobody will listen to me but I'm serial! [begins to weep]
Police Officer
Do you want me to get the ex vice president out of here?
Miner 2
Naw, I f- I feel kind of bad for him. I don't think he has any friends.
Smuggler's Den, some time later. Cartman makes his way to it again with a bottle of water in his right hand. He heads straight for the treasure and cackles softly, then stops
Cartman
[determined] All right. Gotta be strong. [looks at the coins in his hands] There's still a lot more treasure to go. [begins to swallow the coins and wash them down with "WOTTUR." He soon runs into some difficulty swallowing and drinking, so it seems like he's puking. The other three boys are awake and listening with concern]
Stan
Dude, he's really sick. [Cartman has moved on to swallowing necklaces and loose gemstones]
Cave of the Winds, outside. The media have gotten wind of the story, so an HBC reporting crew has joined the rescue personnel
HBC Reporter
It's been three days since four unidentified children were trapped in a cave-in. Three days without food and time is certainly running out. The digging continues, but progress is fatally slow.
Miner 1
All right, people, we've gotta work faster! Our best estimate still puts us three days from reaching the area of the cave called Smuggler's Den.
Ranger
Smuggler's Den?
Tour Guide
Ih it's a room near the end of the tour where you can get your picture taken with fake treasure. Here, see? [holds up a picture of two kids standing in front of the treasure]
Miner 1
Based on where the boys were seen last, they're somewhere near this area! Hopefully they've followed the first rule of survival and stayed put.
Back at the inner collapse. Stan is asleep and Kyle goes to wake him
Kyle
Stan! Stan, wake up!
Stan
[wakes up and rubs his eyes] Huh? What? Have they come for us?
Kyle
No, it's Cartman. Something's really wrong with him. [moves off, and Stan follows. Stan shines his light on Cartman, who's now overstuffed with the treasure he's been swallowing. Kenny holds the water bottle Cartman was drinking from]
Cartman
Meh, meuh urgh. [coughs] Mbeuh.
Stan
Oh my God. [runs up to Cartman] Cartman? Dude, can you hear me?
Cartman
[cough] I'm fahn. Just a lit- [gulp] No big deal. [burps] Beh.
Kyle
[taps Stan and takes him aside] We can't wait here any longer! Dude, we've gotta get him out of here or he's gonna die.
Stan
How, dude? We c- we don't even know if that passage I found goes anywhere.
Kyle
Maybe we should get out first. See if we can find a way out and then come back for him.
Cartman
NO DON'T! Don't leave me here, you assholes. Don't leave me here to die. [coughs]
Cave of the Winds, outside. The rescue mission continues
Back at the inner collapse. Stan, Kyle and Kenny have climbed out and have wrapped Cartman up to hoist him out. Cartman coughs as he rises to the top. The boys are pulling with all their might
Kyle
Come on come on! Pull!
Stan
Goddamnit, he's soo heavy!
Cartman
Buh. Hurry you guys. You gotta get me out of here. [grunts, and a fart comes out. His face lights up in alarm]
Kyle
What the hell is that??
Stan
Cartman?
Cartman
You guys, we've got no time! You gotta get me out!! [the boys pull again.]
A river nearby. A crane approaches the river with a hoist full of boulders. Al Gore is manning the crane, moving levers here and there, positioning the hoist
Al Gore
This is the end of you, ManBearPig. [releases the boulders onto the river, and the water is diverted towards the cave] Excelsior!
Cave of the Winds, outside. The rescue personnel stare as they notice water flooding towards the cave entrance. The water enters the cave
Kenny
(We're almost there!)
Stan
[exhausted] I can't keep carrying him, dude! I've got no strength!
Cartman
Yes you do! [something drops, and the roar of flooding water is heard]
Kyle
What the hell is that? [the boys turn quickly to see where the sound is coming from, and the wave of water appears. Cartman coughs again. The water rises towards them.] Oh my God. [the boys back up]
Cartman
No! Let me out of here! Let me out of here, you guys!
Kyle
Ruuun! [the boys turn and run from the advancing water, but it overtakes them, sweeping them along]
Cave of the Winds, outside. The flash flood stops all activity
Miner 1
That's it! Pull everyone out! There's nothing more we can do!
Fireman 2
You're calling off the rescue?
Miner 1
We didn't plan on a freak river flood. God must really want those kids dead.
Fireman 2
Well what if the children aren't dead?
Miner 1
Look, the cavern is completely flooded. Nothing could have survived. There's nothing left alive down there. [the guide and fireman turn right and walk past Al Gore]
Al Gore
[softly] Nothing left alive... [grins] I did it. I killed ManBearPig. I've saved the earth from certain destruction. Everyone is super-stoked on me, even if they don't know it.
Cave of the Winds, inside. The boys have been swept into a newly-made lake. Stan is the first to pop up out of the water. He swims to a nearby bank and holds on to a boulder. Kenny pops up next to him
Stan
Kenny! Here, take my hand! [Kenny does so and makes it to safety. A change of POV shows Kyle hauling Cartman] Hurry Kyle, the water's rising!
Cartman
Grab my hand.
Kyle
Car... Cartman! You've gotta swim! Kick with your legs!
Cartman
I can't kick!
Kyle
Yes you can!
Cartman
I can't! Kick yourself back to safety!
Kyle
I need your help!
Cartman
No, you just have to save me. [Cartman stops and begins to drop down to the bottom, taking Kyle with him]
Stan
Kyle! No!
Cave of the Winds, outside. The music indicates a funeral, and it is so. Al Gore is at the podium giving a eulogy
Al Gore
We are gathered here to say goodbye to four kids whom we all tried to help, but, in the end, could not. But where there is loss, there is hope. For ManBearPig is no more.
Tour Guide
Oh Jesus, here we go again. [the mourners hold candles with little paper guards over their hands]
Al Gore
I have beaten ManBearPig, and we will never forget the names of the brave young kids who lost their lives. Kid 1, Kid 2, Kid 3, and of course, Kid 4. [off to the mourners' left, some rocks move and give way to a new opening] I remember how Kid 1 used to laugh and play. [a tour guide notices and watches. The rocks move some more and Stan appears] And how Kid 2 was always there when I needed him.
Stan
Agh.
Miner 4
[jumps out of his seat and stands up] Oh my God! ["Kid 4 was filled with hope and ... terrorism when..." Stan and Kyle work to pull Cartman out, but it's hard]
Miner 1
It's the kids! [everyone rises and runs towards the boys]
Miner 4
They're alive! [all four of them are out now]
Al Gore
[walks up to the boys] Kids! I saved you!
Stan
Just stay away from us, asshole! I was nice to you because I felt sorry for you, because you don't have any friends! But now I see WHY you don't have any friends! You just used ManBearPig as a way to get attention for yourself because you're a LOSER!!
Al Gore
[undaunted] Hyeah right. The man who singlehandedly killed ManBearPig is a loser. [grins. Cartman starts to groan]
Kyle
We need to get our friend to a hospital right away!
Cartman
No! No I'm fine! [begins to walk with difficulty] I just need to get home, a-and rest.
Stan
Cartman, seriously, you need to see a doctor.
Cartman
[leaving] Noo! I just need to get to a toilet. See you guys. I... [stops] habbeh... HABBEHHHHHHHHHH! [his pants rip open in the read and much of the treasure he had swallowed comes flying out of his body. Then he farts. A long silence follows as everyone looks at him and at the fake treasure he just pooped out]
Kyle
Dude, did Cartman just crap treasure?
Cartman
It's mine! It's mine, you hear me?! I got it out of the cave; it belongs to me! Keep your greedy hands away!
Tour Guide 2
Hey, that looks like the fake treasure from our Smuggler's Den photo room.
Cartman
That's right, and I... [looks at the tour guide] Fake treasure?
Tour Guide 2
Yeah, we put it there for kids to take their picture with. All in all, I'd say that treasure is worth about fourteen dollars.
Cartman
Noo... NOOO!! [craps out some more treasure] NOO! OW!
Kyle
You made us pull you to safety because you ate treasure?! You son of a bitch!
Cartman
Don't you think I'm hurting enough, Kyle?! Ah, ow!! [craps out even more fake treasure] Dowww!
Al Gore
[now wearing a cape, loosely] Well, my work here is done. I've killed MBP, and now I must save the world from something else. Maybe I'll make a movie. A movie starring me. Then people will take me super-serial. [runs off in superhero pose]
Cartman
Eh! [a gold-colored vase pops out of his ass]
End of ManBearPig


  1006: "ManBearPig" edit
Story Elements

Al GoreKomfort InnManBearPigCave of the WindsSmuggler's Den

Media

ImagesScriptWatch Episode

Release

South Park: The Complete Tenth Season

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