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The following is a compiled list, in episodic order, of instances where a character has cried:

Character Ep.No. Ep. Name Reason for Crying
Jimbo Kern 3 Volcano Feeling sentimental as Ned sings "Kumbaya".
Mayor McDaniels 3 Volcano Fake crying in front of the media to appear worried that the children camping up in the mountain will die in the impending volcano eruption.
Stan Marsh 5 An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig He was about to be sent away after being framed for wreaking havoc across the town.
Eric Cartman 7 Pinkeye Thinks about Kenny's death.
Sheila Broflovski 9 Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo Misses Kyle in the mental institute.
Wendy Testaburger 11 Tom's Rhinoplasty Her boyfriend Stan vomits for Ms. Ellen, meaning he likes her more than Wendy.
Wendy Testaburger 11 Tom's Rhinoplasty "Apologizing" to Ms. Ellen in front of the class and "wishing her and Stan well" as a couple.
Mr. Mackey 16 Ike's Wee Wee Thinking about his future after being fired.
Sheila Broflovski
Gerald Broflovski
16 Ike's Wee Wee Witnessing "Ike's" death.
Sheila Broflovski 16 Ike's Wee Wee At "Ike's" funeral.
Wendy Testaburger 22 Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls Moved while watching a movie.
Kyle Broflovski 22 Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls He is upset about Mr. Hankey's failing health.
Kyle Broflovski 22 Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls Chef informs him that poo can't get into heaven.
Kyle Broflovski 22 Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls Mr. Hankey is thrown by the film festival director and dies.
Jimbo Kern 26 Cow Days Thinking of the Cows' suicide.
Eric Cartman 27 Chef Aid After Chef goes to jail.
Flo Kimble 28 Spookyfish Thinks Stan doesn't like his fish.
Sharon Marsh 28 Spookyfish Thinks her son murdered another person.
Elvin Cartman 29 Merry Christmas Charlie Manson! He finished his fudgesicle.
Boy 29 Merry Christmas Charlie Manson! Kyle says that the Mr. Hankey mascot is fake.
Charlie Manson 29 Merry Christmas Charlie Manson! Moved when the Cartman family surprises him in his cell with "Hark the Herald Angels Sing".
Thomas McElroy 34 The Succubus Emotional about his son's wedding.
Nelle McElroy 34 The Succubus Emotional about her son's wedding.
Mr. Adler 36 Tweek vs. Craig He never got to say "goodbye" to his girlfriend.
Kenny McCormick n/a South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut He is about to be tortured by Satan in Hell.
Satan n/a South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut Saddam just wants sex and wouldn't learn to communicate.
Soldier n/a South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut Listening to Kyle's speech about how his mom should deal with him rather than going off to fight for causes.
Eric Cartman 37 Sexual Harassment Panda Getting "molested".
Shelly Marsh 38 Cat Orgy After her boyfriend left her.
Kyle Broflovski 41 Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery His grandmother's corpse has been taken away.
Sheila Broflovski 42 Chinpokomon Stan was brainwashed by the Japanese.
Adolf Hitler 46 Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics He doesn't have a Christmas Tree.
Mrs. McCormick 47 Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus Kenny died again.
Cartman 50 Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000 He wants to get out of prison.
Quintuplets 52 Quintuplets 2000 Their grandmother died.
Stuart McCormick 53 Cartman Joins NAMBLA He broke his balls.
Stan Marsh 54 Cherokee Hair Tampons Kyle was going to die.
Clyde Donovan 59 Fourth Grade Reminiscent of the third grade.
Heidi Turner 61 Helen Keller! The Musical She finds her dog, Robby, dead on the street.
Chad 63 Fat Camp Thinks he's going to be fat forever.
Eric Cartman 63 Fat Camp Gets kicked out of the fat camp.
Kyle Broflovski 64 The Wacky Molestation Adventure Cries as he writes a letter to Fidel Castro to get him to eradicate communism in Cuba.
Kyle Broflovski 64 The Wacky Molestation Adventure Practices fake crying to get his parents arrested for molesting him.
Multiple Children 64 The Wacky Molestation Adventure Pretends that their parents molested them to get them arrested.
Red 65 A Very Crappy Christmas Upset by the lack of Christmas spirit
Radiohead 69 Scott Tenorman Must Die They read Cartman's letter with Scott Tenorman's fake sob story.
Scott Tenorman 69 Scott Tenorman Must Die He finds out that his parents are dead.
Kyle Broflovski 71 Cartmanland Loses his faith in God.
Kyle Broflovski 71 Cartmanland Painfully pops his hemorrhoid on the fence of Cartmanland.
Eric Cartman 71 Cartmanland After losing his theme park.
Martha Thompson 75 How to Eat with Your Butt Doesn't think his son will ever be found.
Martha Thompson 75 How to Eat with Your Butt Her son was found.
Stan Marsh 78 Kenny Dies Finds out Kenny might die.
Stan Marsh 78 Kenny Dies Upset about Kenny's illness.
Eric Cartman
Kyle Broflovski
78 Kenny Dies Upset about Kenny's illness.
Eric Cartman 78 Kenny Dies Telling Congress about how stem cell research may save Kenny's life.
Linda Stotch 79 Butters' Very Own Episode She finds out that her husband was going to gay clubs.
Linda Stotch 79 Butters' Very Own Episode Thought she killed Butters.
Russell Crowe 84 The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer Tugger tried to commit suicide.
Carol McCormick
Stuart McCormick
91 A Ladder to Heaven Showing the boys Kenny's urn.
Multiple Adults 91 A Ladder to Heaven Touched that the boys are building a ladder to heaven so they can see Kenny again.
Woman at abortion clinic 91 A Ladder to Heaven She cannot bring herself to have an abortion.
Crowd 91 A Ladder to Heaven Touched about the speech about heaven.
Linda Stotch 95 My Future Self n' Me Sorry about tricking Butters.
Stephen Stotch 95 My Future Self n' Me  Sorry about tricking Butters.
Ben Affleck 101 Fat Butt and Pancake Head "Jennifer Lopez" turned out to be Mitch Conner, a con man who played around with his love, and subsequently committed suicide by taking a cyanide pill.
Mr. Slave 103 Night of the Living Homeless He and Mr. Garrison are homeless.
Eric Cartman 105 Christian Rock Hard He didn't get his platinum album.
Linda Stotch 107 Casa Bonita Butters is missing.
Sharon Marsh 109 Butt Out Found out Stan was smoking.
Stan Marsh 110 Raisins Wendy dumped him.
Butters Stotch 110 Raisins Lexus dumped him.
Clyde Donovan 111 It's Christmas in Canada The parents decide to not get any presents for their children.
Eric Cartman
Stan Marsh
Kyle Broflovski
Kenny McCormick
111 It's Christmas in Canada Eric didn't get any presents, Stan didn't have a Christmas adventure, Kyle didn't get Ike back, and Kenny doesn't think he's going to "go five days without dying".
Eric Cartman 111 It's Christmas in Canada Getting punched in the face by Kyle.
Eric Cartman
Stan Marsh
Kyle Broflovski
Kenny McCormick
112 Good Times with Weapons They pretend that their parents died so they can buy weapons without their parents' permission.
Butters Stotch 112 Good Times with Weapons Received a shuriken to the eye.
Butters Stotch 116 AWESOM-O His "robot friend" is about to be taken away from him.
Blanket Jackson 117 The Jeffersons His father dangled him out of a window.
Blanket Jackson 117 The Jeffersons He is disturbed by his father's behavior.
Kindergartener 119 Douche and Turd Disturbed by PETA's slaughterhouse footage.
Sharon
Randy Marsh
119 Douche and Turd Stan is banished from South Park for not voting.
Linda Stotch 121 Pre-School She regrets not letting Butters back in the house as he got beaten up almost fatally by Trent Boyett.
Stan Marsh 121 Pre-School Begs Shelly to protect him from Trent Boyett, who wants to kill him.
Paris Hilton 123 Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset Tinkerbell committed suicide.
Clyde Donovan 123 Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset Forced to partake in "Two minutes in the closet" with Beth.
Lion Cubs 125 Woodland Critter Christmas Their mom was killed.
Tuong Lu Kim 128 Wing His wife is about to be taken to LA by the Chinese mafia.
Kyle Broflovski 128 Wing Kenny is killed in the gunfire with the Chinese mafia.
Kenny McCormick 131 The Death of Eric Cartman Cartman ate all the KFC chicken skin.
Eric Cartman 131 The Death of Eric Cartman He thinks that he is dead after his friends start ignoring him as if they couldn't see or hear him.
Eric Cartman
Butters Stotch
Liane Cartman
131 The Death of Eric Cartman Eric says that he loves his mom and that he is sorry for all the bad things he has done to her.
Eric Cartman 131 The Death of Eric Cartman He regrets bashing Kyle for being a Jew all the time.
Scott Tenorman 131 The Death of Eric Cartman At his parents' graves.
Jimmy Valmer 132 Erection Day Not able to perform in the talent show due to his erection.
Linda Stotch 134 Marjorine She thinks Butters died.
Marjorine 134 Marjorine The girls upset him.
Kyle Broflovski
Clyde Donovan
Butters Scotch
138 Free Willzyx They won't be able to see Willzyx anymore.
Randy Marsh 139 Bloody Mary He thinks that his alcoholism is a disease that will kill him, and he is powerless to it.
Kyle Broflovski 142 Cartoon Wars Part I Ike and himself got killed by terrorist bombs in his dream.
Sarah 142 Cartoon Wars Part I Her husband volunteered to not bury his head in the sand so he may get targeted by terrorists.
Kyle Broflovski 142 Cartoon Wars Part I Cartman got his tricycle destroyed, putting him at a losing edge.
Al Gore 145 Manbearpig Nobody is taking him "cereal".
Liane Cartman 146 Tsst Upset over Eric's behavior.
Ike Broflovski 149 Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy Doesn't want Kyle to tell their mom about his relationship with his teacher.
Eric Cartman 155 Cartman Sucks Started fake crying to get his mother's attention.
Eric Cartman 161 Le Petit Tourette Kyle stopped Dateline's To Catch a Predator.
Randy Marsh 162 More Crap His record for the "biggest crap" was broken by Bono.
Bono 162 More Crap Finds out he is "a Number 2".
Linda Stotch 163
164
165
Imaginationland

Imaginationland, Episode II Imaginationland, Episode III

Butters is missing.
Liane Cartman 168 Tonsil Trouble Cartman has AIDS.
Tricia Tucker 170 Major Boobage Her cat was confiscated by the police.
Eric Cartman 170 Major Boobage Cries as he lets Rufus and two other cats stay in his attic for safety.
Eric Cartman
unnamed woman
170 Major Boobage They cry as Cartman let Nishka stay in his attic for safety.
Mrs. Garrison 172 Eek, A Penis! He doesn't want to be a woman anymore.
Shelly Marsh 173 Over Logging She misses Amir.
Eric Cartman 175 The China Probrem Paranoid about the "Chinese takeover".
Multiple people 175 The China Probrem They watched Indiana Jones getting raped.
Multiple people 175 The China Probrem George Lucas and Steven Spielberg finally got arrested.
Eric Cartman 176 Breast Cancer Show Ever Gets his mom to tell Wendy's parents that she wants to beat him up.
Eric Cartman 176 Breast Cancer Show Ever Wendy beats him up.
Soldier 178 Pandemic 2: The Startling Michael Chertoff keeps yelling at people.
Ike Broflovski 179 About Last Night... John McCain lost the election.
Kenny McCormick 182 The Ring He cannot get a blowjob from his girlfriend after they decide to wear purity rings.
Eric Cartman 184 Margaritaville He dreamt that Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars melted in his hand.
Sheila Broflovski 184 Margaritaville Kyle is paying for everyone's debts so he will be in debt or the rest of his life.
Katherine & Katie Queef 185 Eat, Pray, Queef They fight with Terrance and Phillip over queefing during sex and chase them out.
Sharon Marsh 185 Eat, Pray, Queef Queefing has been banned, which is another loss for women's rights.
Carlos Mencia 186 Fishsticks He is badly beaten up by Kanye West's aides.
Jimmy Valmer 186 Fishsticks Cartman takes all the credit for the Fishsticks Joke on The Ellen DeGeneres Show when it was really Jimmy's joke.
Emmett Hollis 187 Pinewood Derby His father committed suicide in front of him.
Clyde Donovan 188 Fatbeard Somalia isn't what Cartman said it would be.
Clyde Donovan 188 Fatbeard He hates Somalia and wants to go home.
Girl 189 Dead Celebrities She lost the Tiny Miss Pageant.
Mr. Conners 191 W.T.F. He is fired as wrestling coach.
Eric Cartman
Kenny McCormick
192 Whale Whores Pretending to be upset that they cannot rescue whales and dolphins due to Deadliest Catch's boat blocking them.
Eric Cartman 194 Dances with Smurfs The Smurfs, including Smurfette, are killed by "Human Wendy".
Butters Stotch 194 Dances with Smurfs Cartman is "being silenced" from expressing his views about the school and all the Smurfs are dead.
Eric Cartman 194 Dances with Smurfs He is viciously insulted on the morning announcements by Casey Miller.
Eric Cartman 195 Pee The waterpark is full of minorities.
Randy Marsh 195 Pee Stan and his friends are inside the waterpark that was flooded by pee and he doesn't know if they survived.
Pi-Pi 195 Pee He didn't listen to the scientists saying that there's too much pee in his waterpark, so his waterpark got destroyed.
Eric Cartman 195 Pee Thinks he is the only non-minority who survived the pee flood and imagines a minority-dominant world.
Carol McCormick 196 Sexual Healing At Kenny's funeral; he died from autoerotic asphyxiation.
Kyle Broflovski
Butters Stotch
196 Sexual Healing Think they will end up dying from autoerotic asphyxiation like Kenny due to their perceived sex addiction.
Butters Stotch 197 The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs His book got Kim Kardashian killed.
Kyle Broflovski 199 You Have 0 Friends His friends begin to shun him.
Eric Cartman 201 201 He found out he was "half-ginger"
Tom Cruise 201 201 Everyone keeps ripping on him.
Butters Stotch 202 Crippled Summer Upset over Towelie's addiction.
Towelie 202 Crippled Summer Upset over his addiction.
Eric Cartman 203 Poor and Stupid He doesn't think he can become a NASCAR driver.
Eric Cartman 204 It's a Jersey Thing He got pushed into a tree by Kyle.
Wendy Testaburger 205 Insheeption She thinks Stan has a hoarding disorder.
Eric Cartman 210 HUMANCENTiPAD His mom didn't get him an iPad.
Eric Cartman 210 HUMANCENTiPAD Gets struck by lightning.
Ike Broflovski 212 Royal Pudding The Princess of Canada was kidnapped.
Mr. Mackey 212 Royal Pudding Telling Kyle that his father was killed by Tooth Decay.
Harrison Yates
Mr. Mackey
212 Royal Pudding Tooth Decay was killed.
Kyle Broflovski
Nurse
214 Crack Baby Athletic Association Feeling sad about the crack babies' situation.
Stan Marsh 217 Ass Burgers Trying to explain his situation to Mr. Mackey.
Jenny Simons 219 Bass to Mouth She crapped her pants.
Larry Feegan 220 Broadway Bro Down He is afraid to jump off the diving board.
Shelly Marsh 220 Broadway Bro Down Larry drowned.
Eric Cartman 221 1% The 99% started "ganging up on him".
Eric Cartman 221 1% Clyde Frog was murdered.
Eric Cartman 221 1% Peter Panda was murdered.
Eric Cartman 221 1% Rumpertumskin was murdered.
Eric Cartman 221 1% About to kill Polly Prissypants.
Karen McCormick 223 The Poor Kid Her dad and brother are fighting.
Karen McCormick 223 The Poor Kid She and her siblings have been taken away from their parents who were arrested.
Eric Cartman 223 The Poor Kid His mom is "poor".
Karen McCormick 223 The Poor Kid She and her siblings have been taken away to the foster home.
Mr. Adams

223

The Poor Kid He finds out the kids he sent to the foster home were being tortured.
Eric Cartman 226 Faith Hilling Coming to terms with the fact that Faith Hilling is really outdated.
Eric Cartman 227 Jewpacabra He can't break free from being chained as bait for the supposed Jewbacabra.
Egyptian Woman 227 Jewpacabra Her child got killed by God in Cartman's dream.
Mr. Mackey 228 Butterballs

He is harassed by Bucky Bailey.

Stan Marsh 228 Butterballs He is harassed by Bucky Bailey.
Bucky Bailey 228 Butterballs He is harassed by Nick Jabs.
Nick Jabs 228 Butterballs He is harassed by Jesus.
Stan Marsh
Kyle Broflovski
Eric Cartman
229 I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining Stan got Kenny killed.
Eric Cartman 230 Cartman Finds Love Feeling happy that Nichole and Token got together (he set them up without their knowledge).
Eric Cartman 230 Cartman Finds Love Upset that Nichole and Token broke up.
Ike Broflovski 233 Insecurity He thinks his mom slept with the UPS man.
Ike Broflovski 237 Obama Wins! Obama won the election.
Eric Cartman 238 Let Go, Let Gov The NSA doesn't think he's "cool"
Aaron Hagen 239 Informative Murder Porn His father murdered his mom.
Butters Stotch 239 Informative Murder Porn His father murdered his mother in Minecraft.
Butters Stotch 247 The Hobbit Wendy called Kim Kardashian a hobbit.
Kanye West 247 The Hobbit Tells Wendy the story of how Photoshop transformed his fiancee, the hobbit.
Wendy Testaburger 247 The Hobbit Gives into peer pressure to Photoshop herself.
Eric Cartman 262 Safe Space He was harassed online.
Kyle Broflovski 243 Ginger Cow Is being blackmailed by Eric Cartman.
Bebe Stevens 269 Skank Hunt Heidi quits social media.
Eric Cartman 278 White People Renovating Houses Heidi "went off" on him.
Multiple Students 279 Put It Down Mourning over Gary Borkovec's death.
Marcus Preston 282 Hummels & Heroin Reminded about how much he loved Chuck-E-Cheese.
Eric Cartman 284 Doubling Down He wants to get back together with Heidi.
Eric Cartman 284 Doubling Down Heidi broke up with him; Token slammed the door in his face.
Sharon Marsh 288 Dead Kids Hysterical about the school shootings.
Randy Marsh 288 Dead Kids His wife keeps on getting angry and yelling at him about the school shootings.
Strong Woman 290 The Problem with a Poo She is pregnant with PC Principal's children.
PC Babies 290 The Problem with a Poo Upset over anything not politically correct.
PC Principal 290 The Problem with a Poo The PC Babies are the most PC he has ever seen.
Kyle Broflovski 290 The Problem with a Poo At his wit's end with Mr. Hankey, explaining that if he helps him any more South Park with erase him too.
PC Principal 290 The Problem with a Poo He cannot let the PC Babies know that he is their father.
Man 292 The Scoots The phone signal has been cut off.
Kyle Broflovski
Eric Cartman
294 Nobody Got Cereal? Manbearpig killed Satan.
Sheila Broflovski

Jimmy Valmer Mrs. Testaburger  

296 Unfulfilled They are unfulfilled; without their Amazon orders.
Linda Stotch 296 Unfulfilled Her family has been downgraded from Amazon Prime to Amazon USDA Choice.
Stephen Stotch 296 Unfulfilled Feeling desperate about the Amazon workers' strike as his family needs the membership, and praying for a solution.
Stephen Stotch
Mr. Zewiski
296 Unfulfilled Their sons are in the Bike Parade, which is affected by the Amazon workers' strike.
Ike Broflovski 298 Mexican Joker His family is taken away and separated by ICE agents.
Chinese Prisoner 299 Band in China He is sentenced to another 10 years in prison and cannot go home.
Stan Marsh 299 Band in China His death metal band is never going to make money so he cannot move away from Tegridy Farms.
Liane Cartman 300 Shots Eric cannot stay at South Park Elementary if he does not get vaccinated.
Randy Marsh 300 Shots Everyone, including his family, is pissed off at the way he runs Tegridy Farms.
Danny Ray Johnson
unnamed girl
300 Shots They are forcibly vaccinated at the CDC Child Immunization Challenge.
Randy Marsh 302 Tegridy Farms Halloween Special Shelly destroyed his Halloween Special.
Mrs. White 303 Season Finale Her son was killed.
Eric Cartman 304 Board Girls Pleading to Mr. Mackey to keep girls out of the Dice Studz Board Gamers Club because they make the boys look stupid.
Heather Swanson 304 Board Girls PC Principal shoved him.
Stan Marsh 305 Turd Burglars Pretends Kenny is dying.
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