The following is a compiled list, in episodic order, of instances where a character has cried:
Character | Episode | Reason for Crying |
---|---|---|
Jimbo Kern | Volcano | Feeling sentimental as Ned sings "Kumbaya". |
Mayor McDaniels | Volcano | Fake crying in front of the media to appear worried that the children camping up in the mountain will die in the impending volcano eruption. |
Stan Marsh | An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig | Shelly was about to beat him up again and everybody hates him. |
Eric Cartman | Pinkeye | Thought about Kenny's death. |
Sheila Broflovski | Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo | Misses Kyle in the mental institute. |
Wendy Testaburger | Tom's Rhinoplasty | Her boyfriend Stan vomits for Ms. Ellen, meaning he likes her more than Wendy. |
Wendy Testaburger | Tom's Rhinoplasty | "Apologizing" to Ms. Ellen in front of the class and "wishing her and Stan well" as a couple. |
Wendy Testaburger | Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls | Moved while watching a movie. |
Kyle Broflovski | Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls | He is upset about Mr. Hankey's failing health. |
Kyle Broflovski | Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls | Chef informs him that poo can't get into heaven. |
Kyle Broflovski | Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls | Mr. Hankey is thrown by the film festival director and dies. |
Mr. Mackey | Ike's Wee Wee | Thinking about his future after being fired. |
Sheila Broflovski & Gerald Broflovski | Ike's Wee Wee | Witnessing "Ike's" death. |
Sheila Broflovski | Ike's Wee Wee | At "Ike's" funeral. |
Jimbo Kern | Cow Days | Thinking of the Cows' suicide. |
Eric Cartman | Chef Aid | After Chef goes to jail. |
Flo Kimble | Spookyfish | Thinks Stan doesn't like his fish. |
Sharon Marsh | Spookyfish | Thinks her son murdered another person. |
Thomas McElroy | The Succubus | Emotional over his son's wedding. |
Nelle McElroy | The Succubus | Emotional over her son's wedding. |
Mr. Adler | Tweek vs. Craig | He never got to say "goodbye" to his girlfriend. |
Kenny McCormick | South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut | He is about to be tortured by Satan in Hell. |
Eric Cartman | Sexual Harassment Panda | Getting "molested". |
Shelly Marsh | Cat Orgy | After her boyfriend left her. |
Kyle Broflovski | Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery | His grandmother's corpse has taken away |
Adolf Hitler | Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics | He doesn't have a Christmas Tree. |
Mrs. McCormick | Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus | Kenny died again. |
Cartman | Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000 | He wants to get out of prison. |
Stuart McCormick | Cartman Joins NAMBLA | He broke his balls. |
Stan Marsh | Cherokee Hair Tampons | Kyle was going to die. |
Clyde Donovan | Fourth Grade | Reminiscent of the third grade. |
Heidi Turner | Helen Keller! The Musical | She finds her dog, Robby, dead on the street. |
Chad | Fat Camp | Thinks he's going to be fat forever. |
Eric Cartman | Fat Camp | Gets kicked out of the fat camp. |
Multiple Children | The Wacky Molestation Adventure | Pretends his mom molested him |
Red | A Very Crappy Christmas | Upset by the lack of Christmas spirit |
Scott Tenorman | Scott Tenorman Must Die | He finds out that his parents are dead. |
Kyle Broflovski | Cartmanland | Loses his faith in God. |
Kyle Broflovski | Cartmanland | Painfully pops his hemorrhoid on the fence of Cartmanland. |
Eric Cartman | Cartmanland | After losing his theme park. |
Martha Thompson | How to Eat with Your Butt | Doesn't think his son will ever be found. |
Martha Thompson | How to Eat with Your Butt | Her son was found. |
Stan Marsh | Kenny Dies | Finds out Kenny might die. |
Stan Marsh | Kenny Dies | Upset about Kenny's illness. |
Eric Cartman & Kyle Broflovski | Kenny Dies | Upset about Kenny's illness. |
Eric Cartman | Kenny Dies | Telling Congress about how stem cell research may save Kenny's life. |
Linda Stotch | Butters' Very Own Episode | She finds out that her husband was going to gay clubs. |
Linda Stotch | Butters' Very Own Episode | Thought she killed Butters. |
Russell Crowe | The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer | Tugger tried to commit suicide. |
Carol & Stuart McCormick | A Ladder to Heaven | Showing the boys Kenny's urn. |
Multiple Adults | A Ladder to Heaven | Touched that the boys are building a ladder to heaven so they can see Kenny again. |
Woman at abortion clinic | A Ladder to Heaven | She cannot bring herself to have an abortion. |
Crowd | A Ladder to Heaven | Touched about the speech about heaven. |
Linda Stotch | My Future Self n' Me | Sorry about tricking Butters. |
Stephen Stotch | My Future Self n' Me | Sorry about tricking Butters. |
Mr. Slave | Red Man's Greed | He and Mr. Garrison are homeless. |
Eric Cartman | Christian Rock Hard | He didn't get his platinum album. |
Linda Stotch | Casa Bonita | Butters is missing. |
Sharon Marsh | Butt Out | Found out Stan was smoking. |
Stan Marsh | Raisins | Wendy dumped him. |
Butters Stotch | Raisins | Lexus dumped him. |
Clyde Donovan | It's Christmas in Canada | The parents decide to not get any presents for their children. |
Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski & Kenny McCormick | It's Christmas in Canada | Eric didn't get any presents, Stan didn't have a Christmas adventure, Kyle didn't get Ike back, and Kenny doesn't think he's going to "go five days without dying". |
Eric Cartman | It's Christmas in Canada | Getting punched in the face by Kyle. |
Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski & Kenny McCormick |
Good Times with Weapons | They pretend that their parents died so they can buy weapons without their parents' permission. |
Butters Stotch | Good Times with Weapons | Received a shuriken to the eye. |
Butters Stotch | AWESOM-O | His "robot friend" is about to be taken away from him. |
Blanket Jackson | The Jeffersons | He is disturbed by his father's behavior. |
Linda Stotch | Pre-School | She regrets not letting Butters back in the house. |
Stan Marsh | Pre-School | Trent Boyett is going to kill him. |
Paris Hilton | Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset | Tinkerbell committed suicide. |
Clyde Donovan | Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset | Forced to partake in "Two minutes in the closet" with Beth. |
Lion Cubs | Woodland Critter Christmas | Their mom was killed. |
Tuong Lu Kim | Wing | His wife is about to be taken to LA by the Chinese mafia. |
Kyle Broflovski | Wing | Kenny is killed in the gunfire with the Chinese mafia. |
Kenny McCormick | The Death of Eric Cartman | Cartman ate all the KFC chicken skin. |
Eric Cartman | The Death of Eric Cartman | He thinks that he is dead after his friends start ignoring him as if they couldn't see or hear him. |
Eric Cartman, Butters Stotch & Liane Cartman | The Death of Eric Cartman | Eric says that he loves his mom and that he is sorry for all the bad things he has done to her. |
Eric Cartman | The Death of Eric Cartman | He regrets bashing Kyle for being a Jew all the time. |
Scott Tenorman | The Death of Eric Cartman | At his parents' graves. |
Jimmy Valmer | Erection Day | Not able to perform in the talent show due to his erection. |
Linda Stotch | Marjorine | She thinks Butters died. |
Marjorine | Marjorine | The girls upset him. |
Kyle Broflovski, Clyde Donovan & Butters Scotch | Free Willzyx | They won't be able to see Willzyx anymore. |
Liane Cartman | Tsst | Upset over Eric's behavior. |
Ike Broflovski | Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy | Doesn't want Kyle to tell his mom on him. |
Eric Cartman | Cartman Sucks | Started fake crying to get his mother's attention. |
Eric Cartman | Le Petit Tourette | Kyle stopped Dateline's To Catch a Predator. |
Randy Marsh | More Crap | His record for the "biggest crap" was broken by Bono. |
Bono | More Crap | Finds out he is "a Number 2". |
Linda Stotch | Imaginationland | Butters is missing. |
Liane Cartman | Tonsil Trouble | Cartman has AIDS. |
Mrs. Garrison | Eek, A Penis! | He doesn't want to be a woman anymore. |
Shelly Marsh | Over Logging | She misses Amir. |
Eric Cartman | The China Probrem | Paranoid about the "Chinese takeover". |
Multiple people | The China Probrem | They watched Indiana Jones getting raped. |
Multiple people | The China Probrem | George Lucas and Steven Spielberg finally got arrested. |
Eric Cartman | Breast Cancer Show Ever | Gets his mom to tell Wendy's parents that she wants to beat him up. |
Eric Cartman | Breast Cancer Show Ever | Wendy beats him up. |
Ike Broflovski | About Last Night... | John McCain lost the election. |
Kenny McCormick | The Ring | He cannot get a blowjob from his girlfriend after they decide to wear purity rings. |
Carlos Mencia | Fishsticks | He is badly beaten up by Kanye West's aides. |
Jimmy Valmer | Fishsticks | Cartman takes all the credit for the Fishsticks Joke on The Ellen DeGeneres Show when it was really Jimmy's joke. |
Clyde Donovan | Fatbeard | Somalia isn't what Cartman said it would be. |
Clyde Donovan | Fatbeard | He hates Somalia and wants to go home. |
Butters Stotch | Dances with Smurfs | He is "being silenced". |
Eric Cartman | Pee | The waterpark is full of minorities. |
Randy Marsh | Pee | Stan and his friends are inside the waterpark that was flooded by pee and he doesn't know if they survived. |
Pi-Pi | Pee | He didn't listen to the scientists saying that there's too much pee in his waterpark, so his waterpark got destroyed. |
Eric Cartman | Pee | Thinks he is the only non-minority who survived the pee flood and imagines a minority-dominant world. |
Carol McCormick | Sexual Healing | At Kenny's funeral; he died from autoerotic asphyxiation. |
Kyle Broflovski & Butters Stotch | Sexual Healing | Think they will end up dying from autoerotic asphyxiation like Kenny due to their perceived sex addiction. |
Kyle Broflovski | You Have 0 Friends | His friends begin to shun him. |
Eric Cartman | 201 | He found out he was "half-ginger" |
Butters Stotch | Crippled Summer | Upset over Towelie's addiction. |
Towelie | Crippled Summer | Upset over his addiction. |
Eric Cartman | Poor and Stupid | He doesn't think he can become a NASCAR driver. |
Eric Cartman | It's a Jersey Thing | He got pushed into a tree by Kyle. |
Eric Cartman | HUMANCENTiPAD | His mom didn't get him an iPad. |
Eric Cartman | HUMANCENTiPAD | Gets struck by lightning. |
Ike Broflovski | Royal Pudding | The Princess of Canada was kidnapped. |
Harrison Yates | Royal Pudding | Tooth Decay was killed. |
Mr. Mackey | Royal Pudding | Tooth Decay was killed. |
Kyle Broflovski & Nurse | Crack Baby Athletic Association | Feeling sad about the crack babies' situation. |
Stan Marsh | Ass Burgers | Trying to explain his situation to Mr. Mackey. |
Jenny Simons | Bass to Mouth | She crapped her pants. |
Larry Feegan | Broadway Bro Down | He was afraid to jump off the diving board. |
Shelly Marsh | Broadway Bro Down | Larry drowned. |
Eric Cartman | 1% | The 99% started "ganging up on him". |
Eric Cartman | 1% | About to kill Polly Prissypants. |
Karen McCormick | The Poor Kid | Her dad and brother are fighting. |
Karen McCormick | The Poor Kid | She and her siblings have been taken away from their parents who were arrested. |
Eric Cartman | The Poor Kid | His mom is "poor". |
Karen McCormick | The Poor Kid | She and her siblings have been taken away to the foster home. |
Mr. Adams |
The Poor Kid |
He finds out the kids he sent to the foster home were being tortured. |
Eric Cartman | Faith Hilling | Coming to terms with the fact that Faith Hilling is really outdated. |
Eric Cartman | Jewpacabra | He can't break free from being chained as bait for the supposed Jewbacabra. |
Unnamed Egyptian | Jewpacabra | Her child got killed by God in Cartman's dream. |
Mr. Mackey | Butterballs |
He is harassed by Bucky Bailey. |
Stan Marsh | Butterballs | He is harassed by Bucky Bailey. |
Bucky Bailey | Butterballs | He is harassed by Nick Jabs. |
Nick Jabs | Butterballs | He is harassed by Jesus. |
Stan Marsh | I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining | He killed Kenny. |
Kyle Broflovski & Eric Cartman | I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining | Stan killed Kenny. |
Eric Cartman | Cartman Finds Love | Feeling happy that Nichole and Token got together (he set them up without their knowledge). |
Eric Cartman | Cartman Finds Love | Upset that Nichole and Token broke up. |
Ike Broflovski | Insecurity | He thinks his mom slept with the UPS man. |
Ike Broflovski | Obama Wins! | Obama won the election. |
Eric Cartman | Let Go, Let Gov | The NSA doesn't think he's "cool" |
Aaron Hagen | Informative Murder Porn | His father murdered his mom. |
Butters Stotch | Informative Murder Porn | His father murdered his mother in Minecraft. |
Butters Stotch | The Hobbit | Wendy called Kim Kardashian a hobbit. |
Kanye West | The Hobbit | Tells Wendy the story of how Photoshop transformed his fiancee, the hobbit. |
Wendy Testaburger | The Hobbit | Gives into peer pressure to Photoshop herself. |
Eric Cartman | Safe Space | He was harassed online. |
Kyle Broflovski | Ginger Cow | Is being blackmailed by Eric Cartman. |
Bebe Stevens | Skank Hunt | Heidi quits social media. |
Eric Cartman | White People Renovating Houses | Heidi "went off" on him. |
Multiple Students | Put It Down | Mourning over Gary Borkovec's death. |
Marcus Preston | Hummels & Heroin | Reminded about how much he loved Chuck-E-Cheese. |
Eric Cartman | Doubling Down | He wants to get back together with Heidi. |
Eric Cartman | Doubling Down | Heidi broke up with him; Token slammed the door in his face. |
Kyle Broflovski & Eric Cartman | Nobody Got Cereal? | Manbearpig killed Satan. |
Ike Broflovski | Mexican Joker | His family is taken away and separated by ICE agents. |
Chinese Prisoner | Band in China | He is sentenced to another 10 years in prison and cannot go home. |
Stan Marsh | Band in China | His death metal band is never going to make money so he cannot move away from Tegridy Farms. |
Liane Cartman | SHOTS!!! | Eric cannot stay at South Park Elementary if he does not get vaccinated. |
Randy Marsh | SHOTS!!! | Everyone, including his family, is pissed off at the way he runs Tegridy Farms. |
Danny Ray Johnston & unnamed girl | SHOTS!!! | They are forcibly vaccinated at the CDC Child Immunization Challenge. |
Randy Marsh | Tegridy Farms Halloween Special | Shelly destroyed his Halloween Special. |
Mrs. White | Season Finale | Her son was killed. |
Eric Cartman | Board Girls | Pleading to Mr. Mackey to keep girls out of the Dice Studz Board Gamers Club because they make the boys look stupid. |
Heather Swanson | Board Girls | PC Principal shoved himms. |