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Arti all.jpg

Artifacts are an in-game mechanic in South Park: The Fractured But Whole. They are powerful magical items that drastically change how the game is played by increasing the player's stats and attributes. Artifacts are unlocked after the player completes Birth of a Coon Friend.

Background

Five attributes are seen in the game:

  • Brawn: Specifically for attacks which deals high direct damage, usually with the Knockback attribute included.
  • Brains: Specifically for attacks which deals low-mid damage, but usually with the addition of casting Status Effects (e.g. Grossed Out, Burning, Bleeding).
  • Spunk: Specifically for attacks which deals low-mid damage, but can also contribute to abilities providing a buff to a specific/multiple characters in a party (e.g. Protection, Regeneration).
  • Health: The amount of health (HP) available for a specific character.
  • Move: The range that a character can move in the battlefield grid. Maximum up to 4 squares.

The first four attributes are increased strictly under the base ratio of 1:1:1:9, the attributes applies to all allies. The move, however, doesn’t apply, and can only change by equipping certain DNA Strands or Epic artifacts. The DNA Strands can affect the ratio of the attributes' increase. Usually, a raise in some attributes means a fall for others, but there are some DNA that can bring benefits without bad consequences. In most cases, a raise in Brains or Spunk will be accompanied by a decrease in Health.

Players will need to build their Hero Rank in order to equip more Artifacts. Up to 9 Artifacts can be fitted onto the player, consisting of 4 Minor level artifacts, 2 Major level artifacts, 2 Epic level artifacts and 1 DNA slot (unlocked after completing the mission CLASSIfied). Some Artifacts requires to be crafted in order to be obtained, while some can only be obtained through looting or as rewards from completing battles.

Collecting Artifacts will boost the "Artifact Hunter" title inside the Character Sheet app, providing rewards to the toy chest once the title rank has been reached.

Minor Artifacts

Minor Artifacts are the first ones available in game, apart from raising the team's stats, they can offer many bonuses to further develop the teams strength. The team bonuses is limited to Ultimate Recovery, Knockback Combo, and Status Effect. The Minor Artifacts are divided into two kinds, Collectible and Crafted.

Note: Missable Artifacts are highlighted in bold.

Collectible Artifacts

Collectible Artifacts are Artifacts that can be collected in the game, they have very specific might and buffs. The method to obtain them varies, including succeeding in combat, given through plot, or simply purchased at the store. Note that some stores provides unique artifacts that cannot be bought anywhere else.

Image Name Might Buffs Conditions
Icon item artifact mm26 tutorial.png
Junior Coon Friend Gyro 15 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +11 Obtained from the mission Birth of a Coon Friend.
Icon item artifact tp11.png
Wasteland Velocitor 15 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +11, Knockback Combo +26%, Ultimate Recovery +4% Loot from the bag hidden in a snow pile located next to Bebe's House.
Icon item artifact sm71 combat reward.png
Armageddon Leaf 20 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +15 Defeat the Sixth Graders in the mission Rise of the Fourthies.
Icon item artifact ip15.png
Pride of Nippopolis 25 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +18, Knockback Combo +105% Bring down the item down to the floor inside the master bedroom of Kyle's House with Snap N Pops, then loot it.
Icon item artifact lt combat chaoskids 1.png
Anarchic Receptor 25 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +18, Status Effect +10%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Randomly dropped by Chaos Kids after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 1 in-game.
Icon item artifact lt combat raisins 1.png
Chromatic Corruptor 25 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +18, Knockback Combo +44%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Randomly dropped by Raisins Girls after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 1 in-game.
Icon item artifact lt combat sixthgraders 1.png
Repulsor Vial 25 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +18, Knockback Combo +44%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Randomly dropped by Sixth Graders after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 1 in-game.
Icon item artifact tp07.png
Compendium of Chests 25 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +18, Ultimate Recovery +14% Loot it from one of the drawers of the mayor's office inside South Park City Hall.
Icon item artifact sm02 combat reward.png
Vitality Chalice 25 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +18, Ultimate Recovery +15% Defeat the Raisins Girls in the mission Mosquito in a Honey Pot.
Icon item artifact sm11 combat reward.png
Terrorizing Blade 30 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +22, Knockback Combo +52%, Ultimate Recovery +9% Defeat Mr. Daniels in the mission Operation: Just 'Cause.
Icon item artifact dm22 redneckfight reward.png
Hate Forge 30 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +22, Status Effect +12%, Knockback Combo +52% Defeat the rednecks in the mission The Talk.
Icon item artifact sm68 mission complete reward.png
Purity Bond 31 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +23, Status Effect +12%, Ultimate Recovery +9% Defeat the priests in the mission A Touch of Faith.
Icon item artifact sm68 combat reward.png
Amulet of Contemplation 33 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +24, Status Effect +20% Loot from the chest located inside the passcode protected storage room inside South Park Church.
Precarious Penetrator 35 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +26, Status Effect +18% Open the bathtub pipe with Snap N Pops inside the bathroom of Big Gay Al's House, then drop the plunger into the bathtub. Collect it once it has floated above the water inside the bathtub.
Icon item artifact vendor commercial 1.png
Sonic Fecalizer 35 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +26, Knockback Combo +35%, Ultimate Recovery +3% Purchase it from any General Vendor store.
Icon item artifact vendor restaurant 1.png
Flask of Orgasmic Power 35 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +26, Status Effect +8%, Ultimate Recovery +9% Purchase it from any Food Vendor store.
Icon item artifact tp23 1.png
Mouth of Malice 35 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +26, Ultimate Recovery +24% Purchase it from Photo Dojo. Note: This artifact is solely available inside Photo Dojo and it cannot be purchased anywhere else.
Icon item artifact mm08 beerdrunkrandy reward.png
Vessel of Bacchus 40 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +30, Status Effect +8%, Knockback Combo +35% Defeat Beer Drunk Randy in the mission A Randy Mystery.
Icon item artifact mm08 loot chest.png
Bedazzling Orb 40 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +30, Knockback Combo +35%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Loot it from the chest located near the entrance of the management office inside Peppermint Hippo.
Reaming Rod of Gargantua 40 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +30, Status Effect +6%, Knockback Combo +26% Purchase it from the bar inside Peppermint Hippo. Note: This artifact is solely available inside Peppermint Hippo and it cannot be purchased anywhere else.
Icon item artifact ubiclub stick 2.png
Alien Probe Mk. II 40 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +30, Status Effect +20% Obtained from the DLC Relics of Zaron.
Icon item artifact ubiclub stick 1.png
Wreath of Elf Ears 40 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +30, Ultimate Recovery +15% Obtained from the DLC Relics of Zaron.
Icon item artifact lt combat raisins 2.png
Hoops of Wonder 42 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +31, Status Effect +8%, Knockback Combo +26% Randomly dropped by Raisins Girls after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 2 in-game.
Icon item artifact lt combat sixthgraders 2.png
Ego Blaster 44 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +33, Knockback Combo +37%, Ultimate Recovery +4% Randomly dropped by Sixth Graders after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 2 in-game.
Icon item artifact lt combat chaoskids 2.png
Probability Scrambler 44 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +33, Status Effect +6%, Ultimate Recovery +6% Randomly dropped by Chaos Kids after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Night 2 in-game.
Icon item artifact mm19 combat reward.png
Dreidel of Vengeance 45 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +4, Health +33, Knockback Combo +35%, Ultimate Recovery +6% Defeat Kyle's mom and Human Kite 2 in the mission Alternate Universes Collide Again.
Icon item artifact sm42 combat reward.png
Banner of Exile 50 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +5, Health +37, Ultimate Recovery +8% Defeat the guard and his backups in the mission Operation: Blind Justice.
Icon item artifact sm42 mission completion.png
Shield of the Shining Eagle 54 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +5, Health +40, Knockback Combo +44%, Ultimate Recovery +3% Complete the missions Operation: Just 'Cause and Operation: Blind Justice.
Icon item artifact lt combat raisins 3.png
Mischievous Rhombus 56 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +5, Health +42, Knockback Combo +26%, Ultimate Recovery +4% Randomly dropped by Raisins Girls after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 3 in-game.
Molting Sack 57 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +5, Health +42, Knockback Combo +44%, Status Effect Damage +2% Randomly dropped by Crab People after defeating them in battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 3 in-game. Complete (You Can) Call on Me and find them on Stark's Pond North.
Icon item artifact mm12 bum fight.png
Sanity Siphon 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45 Defeat the bums of SoDoSoPa in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Icon item artifact mm12 guermo unit.png
Continuum Enforcer 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Knockback Combo +42%, Ultimate Recovery +2% Enter the warehouse next to where the shining mask is seen on the floor inside U-Stor-It. Inside the warehouse, destroy the large clock by exploding the fireworks box situated next to it, then drag the ladder all the way to the left. Climb it up and loot it from the bag at the very left in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Icon item artifact mm12 lava combat reward1.png
Diabolic Inscription 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Status Effect +2%, Knockback Combo +42% Defeat General Disarray in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Icon item artifact mm12 hindsight unit.png
Trinity of Reflection 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Status Effect +2%, Ultimate Recovery +7% Inside a warehouse which contains a moat of electrified water in U-Stor-It. Activate Timefart Pause and loot it from a bag across the moat in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Icon item artifact mm12 siege combat reward.png
Agonizer of Gaia 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Status Effect +10%, Knockback Combo +10% Defeat the batch of Chaos minions fortified with baseball launcher turrets in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Icon item artifact casabonitaarcadereward 3.png
Cybernaut 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Ultimate Recovery +10% Purchase with arcade tickets inside the video arcade of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Icon item artifact casabonitaarcadereward 2.png
Uncanny Idol 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Knockback Combo +70% Purchase with arcade tickets inside the video arcade of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Icon item artifact casabonitaarcadereward 1.png
Bag of Retching 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Status Effect +20% Purchase with arcade tickets inside the video arcade of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Icon item artifact kennysgarage.png
Cosmic Enigma 65 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +48, Status Effect +10% Loot it from the bag located in Kenny's Garage. Note: You will need Kenny's Garage Key to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact lt combat chaoskids 3.png
Capricious Cube 65 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +48, Status Effect +2%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Randomly dropped by Chaos Kids after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available after completing the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos, also it will be only available on Day 3 in-game.
Icon item artifact lt combat bums 1.png
Wicked Wobbler 66 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +49, Knockback Combo +9%, Status Effect +10% Randomly dropped by Gentrified Bums after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 3 in-game.
Icon item artifact lt combat cityninjas 3.png
Fan of Contractual Protection 67 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +50, Knockback Combo +26%, Ultimate Recovery +4% Randomly dropped by City Ninjas after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 3 in-game.
Icon item artifact lt combat sixthgraders 3.png
Chains of the Huffy 68 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Status Effect +2%, Ultimate Recovery +3% Randomly dropped by Sixth Graders after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 3 in-game.
Icon item artifact lt combat police 3.png
Oculus Grifter 69 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Knockback Combo +35%, Ultimate Recovery +3% Randomly dropped by Crooked Cops after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 3 in-game.
Icon item artifact sm69 combat reward.png
Goblet of Supreme Crunk 70 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +52, Status Effect +8%, Ultimate Recovery +2% Defeat the pimp and his two hoes in the mission The Big Beatdown.
Icon item artifact sm25 combat reward.png
Shat-o-Caster 70 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +52, Knockback Combo +9%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Purchase it from D-Mobile. Note: This artifact is only available after completing the mission (You Can) Call on Me, also it cannot be purchased anywhere else other than D-Mobile.
Icon item artifact vendor police.png
Emblem of Brutality 70 Brawn +9, Brains +7, Spunk +7, Health +63, Knockback Combo +52% Purchase it from the vending machine in the break room of the Park County Police station starting from when you play The Thin White Line and onwards. You can additionally purchase it from the vending machine basement area before fighting Shub Niggurath and which you'll be unable to access once The Thin White Line is completed.
Icon item artifact mm33 mission complete reward.png
Scroll of 1000 Winds 72 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Knockback Combo +18%, Ultimate Recovery +6% Defeat the Ninjas in the mission The Invitation. Note: This artifact cannot be obtained anywhere else if you decide to pay off to Mr. Kim during the selection cut scene in the mission.
Icon item artifact sm19 mission complete reward.png
Seal of Freedom 72 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Status Effect +4%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Complete the mission The Samaritan Agenda.
Icon item artifact sm24 combat reward.png
Horns of the Deplorable 72 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Status Effect +7%, Knockback Combo +32% Defeat the rednecks in the mission Always Bet on Chaos.
Icon item artifact sm36 minor.png
Idol of Inappropriate Touching 75 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Status Effect +10%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Complete the mission Scavenger Hunt: The Headshot Job.
Icon item artifact mm16 black cells.png
Hyper Glass 80 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Status Effect +5%, Ultimate Recovery +4% Defeat the crooked cops at the holding cells area of Park County Police station in the mission The Thin White Line.
Icon item artifact mm16 jailcell.png
Infectious Encryptor 80 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Status Effect +10%, Knockback Combo +26% Loot from the bag inside the holding cell with the faulty door in the mission The Thin White Line. Note: You will need the Timefart Pause ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact mm16 evidenceroom.png
Song of the Drunk Knight 80 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Knockback Combo +26%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Loot from a bag inside the evidence room at Park County Police station in the mission The Thin White Line. Note: The evidence room has to be accessed by a vent on the wall after leaving the holding cells area as the main door will be locked.
Icon item artifact lt combat bums 2.png
Necrotic Scroll 83 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +62, Status Effect +12% Randomly dropped by Gentrified Bums after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available from Day 4 onward in-game.
Insidious Agenda 84 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +63, Knockback Combo +9%, Ultimate Recovery +8% Randomly dropped by Raisins Girls after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available from Day 4 onward in-game.
Icon item artifact lt combat chaoskids 4.png
Butterfly Effector 86 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +64, Status Effect +6%, Knockback Combo +26% Randomly dropped by Chaos Kids after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available from Day 4 onward in-game.
Icon item artifact lt combat cityninjas 4.png
Pussy of Fortune 87 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +65, Status Effect +6%, Ultimate Recovery +4% Randomly dropped by Ninjas after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available from Day 4 onward in-game.
Icon item artifact lt combat police 4.png
Ebony Reaper 88 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +66, Knockback Combo +26%, Ultimate Recovery +4%

Randomly dropped by Crooked Cops after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact only can be obtained if The New Kid is created as a black person.

CryptoCon 89 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +67, Status Effect +2%, Knockback Combo +44%

Randomly dropped by Sixth Graders after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available on Day 4 onward in-game.

Icon item artifact lt combat crabpeople 4.png
Crustacean Modulator 90 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Knockback Combo +35%, Ultimate Recovery +3% Randomly dropped by Crab People after defeating them in a battle. Note: This artifact is only available from Day 4 onward in-game.
Icon item artifact ubiclub goth.png
Necronomicon 90 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Status Effect +10%, Ultimate Recovery +2% Defeat Shub-Niggurath in the mission The Thin White Line.
Icon item artifact being black.png
Ebony Volumizer 95 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Knockback Combo +70%, Ultimate Recovery +6% Obtained from Morgan Freeman on Day 3 in-game. Note: This artifact only can be obtained if The New Kid is created as a black person.
Icon item artifact being female.png
Chromatic Charm 95 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Status Effect 8%, Ultimate Recovery +12% Obtained from Call Girl in the mission (You Can) Call on Me. Note: This artifact only can be obtained if The New Kid is created as a female gendered person.
Icon item artifact mm15 mitch combat reward.png
Heavy Hand of Deception 95 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Knockback Combo +18%, Ultimate Recovery +6% Defeat Mitch Conner in the mission To Catch a Coon.
Icon item artifact mm15 pigs combat reward.png
SphincterPlex 95 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Status Effect +6%, Knockback Combo +26% Defeat the first batch of mutated Sixth Graders in the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Festive Verse 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Knockback Combo +18%, Ultimate Recovery +6% Defeat the Woodland Critters in the mission Farts of Future Past.
Icon item artifact mm17 sot combat reward.png
Elven Relic 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Knockback Combo +35%, Ultimate Recovery +12% Defeat King Douchebag in the mission Farts of Future Past.

Crafted Artifacts

Crafted Artifacts are the ones that are obtained through the Crafting app on the phone, you can have as many as you want if you have the recipe and adequate ingredients. Different from the collected ones, they can "level up" as The New Kid's crafting skills develop. Most of them have 5 levels, the highest would be "+4", as they "level up", their might changes, but their buffs do not.

Image Name Might Crafting Level Buffs Conditions
Icon item artifact ubiclub assassin.png
Hidden Blade 10 1 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +7, Ultimate Recovery +15% Obtained from the "Assassin Pack" reward from Ubisoft Club.
Hidden Blade +1 60 7 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +5, Health +45, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Hidden Blade +2 80 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Hidden Blade +3 100 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Tachyon Matrix 10 1 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +7, Knockback Combo +88% Obtained from the "Gadget-Lover Pack" reward from Ubisoft Club.
Tachyon Matrix +1 60 7 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +5, Health +45, Knockback Combo +88%
Tachyon Matrix +2 80 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Knockback Combo +88%
Tachyon Matrix +3 100 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Knockback Combo +88%
Icon item artifact crafted a t1 statc base.png
Crystal Capacitor 10 1 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +7, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Crystal Capacitor +1 60 7 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +5, Health +45, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Crystal Capacitor +2 80 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Crystal Capacitor +3 100 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Ultimate Recovery +15%
Icon item artifact crafted b t1 stata base.png
Kinetic Sigil 20 1 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +15, Knockback Combo +61% Craft from the recipe given by Morgan Freeman.
Kinetic Sigil +1 22 2 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +17, Knockback Combo +61%
Kinetic Sigil +2 24 3 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +19, Knockback Combo +61%
Kinetic Sigil +3 26 4 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +21, Knockback Combo +61%
Kinetic Sigil +4 28 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +23, Knockback Combo +61%
Icon item artifact crafted a t1 statb base.png
Virtuous Clockwork 20 1 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +15, Status Effect +14% Craft from the recipe given by Morgan Freeman.
Virtuous Clockwork +1 22 2 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +17, Status Effect +14%
Virtuous Clockwork +2 24 3 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +19, Status Effect +14%
Virtuous Clockwork +3 26 4 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +21, Status Effect +14%
Virtuous Clockwork +4 28 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +23, Status Effect +14%
Icon item artifact crafted b t1 statb base.png
Tome of Cunning 20 1 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +15, Ultimate Recovery +10% Craft from the recipe purchased from the Coon Store.
Tome of Cunning +1 22 2 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +17, Ultimate Recovery +10%
Tome of Cunning +2 24 3 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +19, Ultimate Recovery +10%
Tome of Cunning +3 26 4 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +21, Ultimate Recovery +10%
Tome of Cunning +4 28 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +23, Ultimate Recovery +10%
Icon item artifact crafted a t1 statd base.png
Idol of Vitality 30 2 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +22, Ultimate Recovery +12% Craft from the recipe purchased from the Coon Store.
Idol of Vitality +1 32 4 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +24, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Idol of Vitality +2 34 6 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +26, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Idol of Vitality +3 37 7 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +28, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Idol of Vitality +4 40 8 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +30, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Icon item artifact crafted a t1 stata base.png
Divine Amplifier 30 2 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +22, Status Effect +14% Craft from the recipe found in a bag hidden behind a snow pile by the left side of Craig's House.
Divine Amplifier +1 32 4 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +24, Status Effect +14%
Divine Amplifier +2 34 6 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +26, Status Effect +14%
Divine Amplifier +3 37 7 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +28, Status Effect +14%
Divine Amplifier +4 40 8 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +30, Status Effect +14%
Icon item artifact crafted a t1 state base.png
Girding Chains 30 2 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +22, Knockback Combo +70% Craft from the recipe found in a bag located near South Park Town Square.
Girding Chains +1 32 4 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +24, Knockback Combo +70%
Girding Chains +2 34 6 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +26, Knockback Combo +70%
Girding Chains +3 38 7 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +28, Knockback Combo +70%
Girding Chains +4 40 8 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +30, Knockback Combo +70%
Icon item artifact crafted a t2 statd base.png
Scarab of R'Lyeh 42 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +31, Ultimate Recovery +12% Craft from the recipe obtained after defeating the Raisins Girls in the alley during the mission Medicinal Fried Fiasco.
Scarab of R'Lyeh +1 45 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +34, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Scarab of R'Lyeh +2 50 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +37, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Scarab of R'Lyeh +3 54 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +40, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Scarab of R'Lyeh +4 58 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +43, Ultimate Recovery +12%
Icon item artifact crafted a t2 statb base.png
Abyssal Timepiece 42 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +31, Status Effect +12% Craft from the recipe obtained after looting from a chest inside a warehouse in U-Stor-It during the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Abyssal Timepiece +1 45 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +34, Status Effect +12%
Abyssal Timepiece +2 50 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +37, Status Effect +12%
Abyssal Timepiece +3 54 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +40, Status Effect +12%
Abyssal Timepiece +4 58 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +43, Status Effect +12%
Icon item artifact crafted b t2 state base.png
Skull of Sundering 42 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +3, Health +31, Knockback Combo +52% Craft from the recipe purchased from the Coon Store.
Skull of Sundering +1 45 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +34, Knockback Combo +52%
Skull of Sundering +2 50 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +37, Knockback Combo +52%
Skull of Sundering +3 54 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +40, Knockback Combo +52%
Skull of Sundering +4 58 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +2, Health +43, Knockback Combo +52%
Icon item artifact crafted a t3 state base.png
Prismatic Eye 60 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Status Effect +10% Craft from the recipe obtained from a pouch blasted out of the bathtub with Sandblaster at the upper floor of Main Street Offices.
Prismatic Eye +1 65 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +48, Status Effect +10%
Prismatic Eye +2 70 14 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Status Effect +10%
Prismatic Eye +3 75 15 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Status Effect +10%
Prismatic Eye +4 80 16 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Status Effect +10%
Icon item artifact crafted a t3 statb base.png
Necro Clamps 60 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Ultimate Recovery +8% Craft from the recipe obtained from a chest inside the garage of Kenny's House.
Necro Clamps +1 65 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +48, Ultimate Recovery +8%
Necro Clamps +2 70 14 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Ultimate Recovery +8%
Necro Clamps +3 75 15 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Ultimate Recovery +8%
Necro Clamps +4 80 16 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Ultimate Recovery +8%
Icon item artifact crafted b t3 stata base.png
Infernal Glyphs 60 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Knockback Combo +44% Craft from the recipe obtained from a bag located on a truck where a bunch of Chaos Kids can be seen guarding it inside U-Stor-It during the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Infernal Glyphs +1 65 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +48, Knockback Combo +44%
Infernal Glyphs +2 70 14 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Knockback Combo +44%
Infernal Glyphs +3 75 15 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Knockback Combo +44%
Infernal Glyphs +4 80 16 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Knockback Combo +44%
Icon item artifact crafted b t4 stata base.png
Spire of Domination 80 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Status Effect +10% Craft from the recipe obtained from defeating Mitch Conner in the mission To Catch a Coon.
Spire of Domination +1 85 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +64, Status Effect +10%
Spire of Domination +2 90 18 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Status Effect +10%
Spire of Domination +3 95 19 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Status Effect +10%
Spire of Domination +4 100 20 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +75, Status Effect +10%
Icon item artifact crafted b t4 statb base.png
Orb of Sublime Insight 80 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Knockback Combo +44% Crafted from the recipe obtained from South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch. The recipe is located behind a pile of snow to the left of the ranch gate.
Orb of Sublime Insight +1 85 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +64, Knockback Combo +44%
Orb of Sublime Insight +2 90 18 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Knockback Combo +44%
Orb of Sublime Insight +3 95 19 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Knockback Combo +44%
Orb of Sublime Insight +4 100 20 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +75, Knockback Combo +44%
Icon item artifact crafted a t4 statd base.png
Egg of Everlasting Life 13 Crafted from the recipe obtained during Farts of Future Past. After traveling into the future, head over to D-Mobile and look for a white gift box to retrieve the recipe. If you miss it, you can collect it from your toy box after the quest.
Egg of Everlasting Life +1 17
Egg of Everlasting Life +2 18
Egg of Everlasting Life +3 19
Egg of Everlasting Life +4 20
Icon item dlc1 crawl artifact minor1.png
Minstrel of Ruin 75 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +75, Knockback Combo +44% Obtained from the chest located on the top right area inside Black Bart's Cave in From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Icon item artifact ip121.png
Necrotic Idol 95 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +75, Knockback Combo +44% Crafted from the recipe obtained in Sloppy 2nds

Major Artifacts

Major Artifacts are available later in game, usually at the last of day 1. Like Minor Artifacts, apart from raising the team's stats, they can offer many bonuses to further develop the teams strength. The team bonuses is limited to Bonus Ally Health, Health Recovery, and Critical Strike. Major Artifacts are divided into two kinds, Collectible and Crafted.

Note: Missable Artifacts are highlighted in bold.

Collectible Artifacts

Similar to Minor Artifacts, some Major Artifacts are obtained by collecting them in the game, they have very specific might and buffs. The method to obtain them varies, including succeeding in combat, given through plot, or simply purchased at the store.

Image Name Might Buffs Conditions
Icon item artifact starter major.png
Platinum Coon Friend Gyro 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +7 Obtained when the first Major Artifact slot is unlocked after increasing The New Kid's Hero Rank.
Icon item artifact mm08 boss reward2.png
Nether Talisman 60 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Bonus Ally Health +18% Defeat Red Wine Drunk Randy in the mission The Bowels of the Beast.
Icon item artifact tp19.png
Urn of Deception 66 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +49, Health Recovery +7%, Bonus Ally Health +9% Loot from the storage room located at the far right end of the backstage area inside Peppermint Hippo.
Icon item artifact tp23 2.png
Effigy of the Moon 66 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +49, Critical Strike +8%, Health Recovery +7% Loot from the chest located above Photo Dojo. Note: You will need the Fartkour ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact ip40.png
NeoConomicon 68 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Critical Strike +4%, Bonus Ally Health +15% Loot from the chest located on the upper floor inside South Park Elementary. Note: You will need the Fartkour ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact tp21.png
Gourd of Hipstering 68 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Critical Strike +3%, Health Recovery +10% Loot from the chest located above Steed at Kenny's House. Note: You will need the Fartkour ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact tp70.png
Harvester of Fognl 69 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Critical Strike +10%, Health Recovery +10% Break the satellite dish located above the construction office at South Park Mall, then loot it. Note: You will need the Diabetic Rage ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact vendor chaos lair.png
Aural Disruptor 70 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Critical Strike +10%, Health Recovery +3% Purchase it from the vending machines located inside U-Stor-It during the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Icon item artifact vendor restaurant 2.png
Metabolic Furnace 70 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Critical Strike +2%, Bonus Ally Health +12% Purchase it from any Food Vendor store. Note: This artifact will be only available for sale starting from Day 2 in-game.
Icon item artifact vendor commercial 2.png
Magnum Dynamo 70 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Critical Strike +6%, Health Recovery +2% Purchase it from any General Vendor store. Note: This artifact will be only available for sale starting from Day 2 in-game.
Icon item artifact tp74.png
Flute of Prophecy 70 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +52, Critical Strike +9%, Bonus Ally Health +15% Break the cracks on the bottom right corner inside the garage of Craig's House by exploding the propane tank stored inside it, then loot it from the opening. Note: You will need the Diabetic Rage ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact ip16.png
Fuse of High Tolerance 72 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Health Recovery +4%, Bonus Ally Health +18% Break the "BEER" neon sign inside the living room of Kenny's House with Snap N Pops, then loot it once it has dropped on the floor.
Icon item artifact ip101.png
Astral Thumper 82 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +61, Critical Strike +8%, Bonus Ally Health +24% Inside the Freedom Pals base, drag the toy car out from its parking spot located next to the Training Room, then loot it from the floor.
Icon item artifact tp14.png
Luminous Enigma 83 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +62, Health Recovery +7%, Bonus Ally Health +23% Loot it from the bag located inside the garage of Jimmy's House. Note: You will need the Sandblaster ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact ip04.png
Ring of Engorgement 84 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +62, Critical Strike +10%, Bonus Ally Health +21% Loot it from the safe inside the master bedroom of Butter's House. Note: You will need the Haywire ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact tp38.png
Gentrifying Text 85 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +63, Health Recovery +11%, Bonus Ally Health +12% Loot it from the bag located on the first level floor at the SoDoSoPa ruins behind Kenny's House. Note: You will need the Fartkour ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact vendor jimbo 4.png
Scuzzlebutt Paw 90 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Critical Strike +15% Purchase it from Jimbo's Guns. Note: This artifact is solely available inside Jimbo's Guns and it cannot be purchased anywhere else.
Icon item tp92 freedompals shard2.png
Shard of the Beast 92 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +69, Critical Strike +12%, Bonus Ally Health +15% Break the purple marble Peppermint Hippo statue inside the management office of the Peppermint Hippo, then collect it on the floor. Note: You will need the Haywire ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact vendor restaurant 3.png
Gluten Necrometer 92 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +69, Health Recovery +10%, Bonus Ally Health +5% Purchase it from any Food Vendor store. Note: This artifact will be only available for sale starting from Day 3 in-game.
Icon item artifact vendor commercial 3.png
Pup o' War 92 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +69, Critical Strike +10%, Bonus Ally Health +5% Purchase it from any General Vendor store. Note: This artifact will be only available for sale starting from Day 3 in-game.
Icon item artifact ip51.png
Crack'd Beholder 95 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Critical Strike +9%, Health Recovery +9% Blast into the pipe located next to a bathtub at the upper floor of Main Street Offices (where Mrs. Testaburger is located), then loot it from a pouch which will later drop on the floor. Note: You will need the Sandblaster ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact vendor restaurant 4.png
Pedo Saber 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Critical Strike +3%, Health Recovery +12% Purchase it from any Food Vendor store. Note: This artifact will be only available for sale starting from Day 4 in-game.
Icon item artifact vendor commercial 4.png
Okama Dreambox 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Critical Strike +12%, Bonus Ally Health +6% Purchase it from any General Vendor store. Note: This artifact will be only available for sale starting from Day 4 in-game.
Icon item artifact mm16 coon combat reward1.png
Energizing Codex 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Health Recovery +13%, Bonus Ally Health +15% Defeat Doctor Timothy in the mission The Thin White Line.
Icon item artifact mm15 mission complete reward.png
Plasma Analizer 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Critical Strike +12%, Bonus Ally Health +18% Loot from the bag by the side corridor, inside the lab area where Jasper the mutated ape Sixth Grader is seen caged in a room during the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Icon item artifact mm15boss combat reward.png
Sentient Cyst 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Health Recovery +15%, Bonus Ally Health +6% Defeat Mutant Human Kite 2 in the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.

Crafted Artifacts

Similar to Minor Artifacts, there are some Major Artifacts which only can be obtained through the Crafting app on the phone, you can have as many as you want if you have the recipe and adequate ingredients.

Image Name Might Crafting Level Buffs Conditions
Icon item artifact crafted a t2 state base.png
Cosmic Clasps 60 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Critical Strike +12% Craft from the recipe found in a bag located near Stark Pond's South.
Cosmic Clasps +1 63 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +47, Critical Strike +12%
Cosmic Clasps +2 66 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +49, Critical Strike +12%
Cosmic Clasps +3 69 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Critical Strike +12%
Cosmic Clasps +4 72 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Critical Strike +12%
Icon item artifact crafted a t2 stata base.png
Optic Penetrator 60 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Health Recovery +12% Craft from the recipe found in a bag located near South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch.
Optic Penetrator +1 63 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +47, Health Recovery +12%
Optic Penetrator +2 66 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +49, Health Recovery +12%
Optic Penetrator +3 69 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Health Recovery +12%
Optic Penetrator +4 72 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Health Recovery +12%
Icon item artifact crafted b t2 stata base.png
Masteroid 60 5 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +45, Bonus Ally Health +24% Craft from the recipe purchased from the Coon Store.
Masteroid +1 63 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +47, Bonus Ally Health +24%
Masteroid +2 66 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +49, Bonus Ally Health +24%
Masteroid +3 69 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +6, Health +51, Bonus Ally Health +24%
Masteroid +4 72 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +54, Bonus Ally Health +24%
Icon item artifact crafted b t3 state base.png
Berserker Wheel 75 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Critical Strike +14% Craft from the recipe obtained after defeating Professor Chaos in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos, or purchased from the Coon Store.
Berserker Wheel +1 80 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Critical Strike +14%
Berserker Wheel +2 85 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +64, Critical Strike +14%
Berserker Wheel +3 90 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Critical Strike +14%
Berserker Wheel +4 95 14 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Critical Strike +14%
Icon item artifact crafted b t3 statb base.png
Elder Maw 75 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Bonus Ally Health +27% Craft from the recipe obtained after escaping the senior citizens in the mission The Samaritan Agenda, or purchased from the Coon Store.
Elder Maw +1 80 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Bonus Ally Health +27%
Elder Maw +2 85 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +64, Bonus Ally Health +27%
Elder Maw +3 90 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Bonus Ally Health +27%
Elder Maw +4 95 14 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Bonus Ally Health +27%
Icon item artifact crafted b t3 statd base.png
Oracle of the Deviant 75 9 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +7, Health +56, Health Recovery +13% Craft from the recipe obtained after defeating the rednecks in the mission Always Bet on Chaos, or purchased from the Coon Store.
Oracle of the Deviant +1 80 11 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +60, Health Recovery +13%
Oracle of the Deviant +2 85 12 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +8, Health +64, Health Recovery +13%
Oracle of the Deviant +3 90 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +67, Health Recovery +13%
Oracle of the Deviant +4 95 14 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +9, Health +71, Health Recovery +13%
Icon item artifact hd08.png
Nuclear Vessel 100 13 19% Critical Strike, +10 Brawn, +15 Brains, +10 Spunk, +52 Health Craft from the recipe found in Kevin Stoley's room. All parts are in his house.
Icon item artifact crafted a t4 statb base.png
Tantalum Accelerator 100 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Critical Strike +14% Craft from the recipe obtained from a bag just outside of the holding cells by the second floor of the police station in the mission The Thin White Line.
Tantalum Accelerator +1 105 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Critical Strike +14%
Tantalum Accelerator +2 105 18 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Critical Strike +14%
Tantalum Accelerator +3 105 19 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Critical Strike +14%
Tantalum Accelerator +4 105 20 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Critical Strike +14%
Icon item artifact crafted a t4 stata base.png
Annihilation Overthruster 100 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Health Recovery +13% Craft from the recipe obtained from a tool chest between the second and third floor stairway of the police station in the mission The Thin White Line.
Annihilation Overthruster +1 105 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Health Recovery +13%
Annihilation Overthruster +2 105 18 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Health Recovery +13%
Annihilation Overthruster +3 105 19 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Health Recovery +13%
Annihilation Overthruster +4 105 20 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Health Recovery +13%
Icon item artifact crafted a t4 state base.png
Dazzling Dervish 100 13 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Bonus Ally Health +29% Craft from the recipe obtained from a bag behind two lab canisters in the wrecked lab room, where a mutant Sixth Grader can be seen killing a research personnel in the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Dazzling Dervish +1 105 17 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Bonus Ally Health +29%
Dazzling Dervish +2 105 18 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Bonus Ally Health +29%
Dazzling Dervish +3 105 19 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Bonus Ally Health +29%
Dazzling Dervish +4 105 20 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +80, Bonus Ally Health +29%

Epic Artifacts

Epic Artifacts are the most special ones among Artifacts, they cannot be crafted with usual components or purchased with cash, apart from raising the team's stats, they can offer many buffs, these buffs vary, and the way to use it varies as well.

Most Epic Artifacts has a set might of 100 (with the exception of Supreme Fist of Chaos) and they only can be collected, however the DLC Bring the Crunch introduces two exclusive Epic Artifacts: one that is obtained by crafting, and another which has a Might level that can be raised in accordance to the badges obtained from the DLC's side missions.

Note: Missable Artifacts are highlighted in bold.

Collectible Artifacts

Image Name Might Buffs Conditions
Icon item artifact starter epic.png
Coon Commando Gyro 10 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +1, Health +7 Obtained when the first Epic Artifact slot is unlocked after increasing The New Kid's Hero Rank.
Icon item artifact selfie epic.png
Vainglorious Scepter 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Team members gain health equivalent to number of followers in Coonstagram Rewarded when the title Master Influencer is achieved in the Character Sheet.
Chamber of Ultimate Inflation 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, All Ultimate powers are 25% more effective Loot from the safe inside the management office of the Peppermint Hippo. Note: You will need the Haywire ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact regeneration epic.png
Jar of Life 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +90, Regenerate 10% amount of max health each turn Loot from the fridge inside Kenny's House. Note: You will need the Haywire ability to gain access looting it.
Icon item artifact mm05 epic.png
Golden Taco 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Equip Freckles makeup and gain 10% power effectiveness Defeat Morgan Freeman inside Freeman's Tacos.
Icon item artifact mm16 epic.png
Tumbler of Erupting Youth 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Healing items provide 100% more Health Defeat Jared in the mission The Thin White Line.
Icon item artifact advantage epic.png
Cloven Heirloom 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Missed Critical Attacks has a 50% chance of succeeding Defeat the second batch of mutated Sixth Graders in the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Icon item artifact sm36.png
Fanatic Visage 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Gain 1 Move Complete the mission Scavenger Hunt: The Headshot Job.
Icon item artifact sm67 epic.png
Big Bang Boy Buttress 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Super Craig and Wonder Tweek's powers are 10% more effective Complete the mission Scavenger Hunt: The Yaoi Project.
Icon item artifact buddyspeed epic.png
Triumph of the Heart 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Team member in the first Allies slot gains 1 Move Complete the mission Therapy Wars.
Icon item dlc2 artifact epic1.png
Danger Gyro 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Inflicts Bleeding on the enemy in a successful Critical Strike Complete the Ultra challenge set for the reward in the DLC Danger Deck.
Icon item dlc2 artifact epic3.png
Amaze Ball 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Heal 25% of the power value when using a Health item on a team member Complete the Ultra challenge set for the reward in the DLC Danger Deck.
Icon item dlc2 artifact epic2.png
Avenging Nezumi 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, When attacked, successfully pressing the prompt button inflicts Defense Down on the enemy Complete the Ultra challenge set for the reward in the DLC Danger Deck.
Icon item dlc1 crawl artifact epic1.png
Skull of Sick Burning 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, When attacked, successfully pressing the prompt button inflicts Burning on the enemy Loot it from the chest located inside the treasure area of Black Bart's Cave in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Icon item dlc1 crawl artifact epic2.png
Goblet of Po'Zur 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Team members receive Health equal to Bleeding damage on enemies Crack open the bat-shaped pinata inside the VIP room of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Icon item dlc1 crawl artifact epic3.png
Resonator of Souls 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Team members' Spunk attribute increased by 25% At the area behind the man-made cliff inside Casa Bonita, head to the top floor where there will be a wooden beam supported by construction tape. Activate Timefart Pause, then throw Snap N Pops onto both ends of the beam. Collect it from the guitar case once the beam has fallen flat on the floor below in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Icon item dlc1 arcade artifact epic2.png
Gatekeeper of R'lyeh 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Knocked out team member gains Protection equal to 25% of team member's health and Attack Up when revived Purchase with arcade tickets inside the video arcade of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Icon item dlc1 arcade artifact epic3.png
Time Reamer 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Timefart Pause punches deals 100% more damage Purchase with arcade tickets inside the video arcade of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Icon item dlc1 arcade artifact epic1.png
Lightning Rod 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Enemies taking Shock damage from adjacent enemies is affected with the Shock status effect Purchase with arcade tickets inside the video arcade of Casa Bonita in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Icon item dlc3 crawl artifact epic3.png
Gore Sack 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, When an enemy dies, adjacent enemies become Grossed Out Loot it from the backpack at the right of the tents on the Indian burial grounds in the DLC Bring the Crunch.
Icon item dlc3 crawl artifact epic5.png
Shark Mating Whistle 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Summons are 25% more effective Catch the Tardicaca Freshwater Shark for the first time from the dynamite fishing mini-game in the DLC Bring the Crunch.
Icon item dlc3 crawl artifact epic4.png
Trailblazing Totem 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Fastpass' Powers are 30% more effective Complete the side mission Native Heritage in the DLC Bring the Crunch.
Icon item artifact mm12 epic.png
Supreme Fist of Chaos 101 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Gain 101 Might Defeat Professor Chaos in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.

Peculiar Artifacts

Image Name Might Buffs Conditions
Icon item dlc3 crawl artifact epic1.png
Dream Catcher 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, All Allies receives 40% less damage from Status Effects Craft from the recipe found on the second rightmost tent on the Indian burial grounds in the DLC Bring the Crunch.
Icon item dlc3 crawl artifact epic2.png
Sash of Ultimate Merit +1 100 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +75, Gain 4% Ultimate Meter when your team takes 0 Health damage during an attack Obtained after earning the first merit badge from the available side missions in the DLC Bring the Crunch,each upgrade requires a new badge.
Icon item dlc3 crawl artifact epic2 2.png
Sash of Ultimate Merit +2 105 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +10, Health +78, Gain 8% Ultimate Meter when your team takes 0 Health damage during an attack
Icon item dlc3 crawl artifact epic2 3.png
Sash of Ultimate Merit +3 110 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +11, Health +81, Gain 12% Ultimate Meter when your team takes 0 Health damage during an attack
Icon item dlc3 crawl artifact epic2 4.png
Sash of Ultimate Merit +4 115 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +11, Health +84, Gain 16% Ultimate Meter when your team takes 0 Health damage during an attack
Icon item dlc3 crawl artifact epic2 5.png
Sash of Ultimate Merit +5 120 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +12, Health +91, Gain 20% Ultimate Meter when your team takes 0 Health damage during an attack
Icon item dlc3 crawl artifact epic2 6.png
Sash of Ultimate Merit +6 125 Brawn, Brains, Spunk +12, Health +93, Gain 24% Ultimate Meter when your team takes 0 Health damage during an attack

DNA Strands

DNA Strands are the most special in the game, they have only one slot, which means they can only be equipped one at a time. They affect the Stats in a certain percentage, and some of them give a raise to movements. Usually, a rise in some part means a fall in another,

Note: Missable Artifacts are highlighted in bold.

Image Name Buffs/Debuffs Conditions
High Pain Threshold.png
High Pain Threshold Health +30%, Brains -25% Obtained from the mission CLASSIfied.
Inhuman Accuracy.png
Inhuman Accuracy Brains +30%, Health -15% Obtained from the mission CLASSIfied.
Mutant Strength.png
Mutant Strength Brawn +20% Obtained from the mission CLASSIfied.
Maximum Jersey.png
Maximum Jersey Brawns +20%, Spunk +20%, Health -15% Defeat Kyle's mom and Human Kite 2 in the mission Alternate Universes Collide Again.
Pheromone Infusion.png
Pheromone Infusion Spunk +25% Defeat the Raisins Girls in the mission Medicinal Fried Fiasco.
Mellowed Pain Receptors.png
Mellowed Pain Receptors Health +15% Defeat Towelie in the mission Medicinal Fried Fiasco.
Judgmental Rush.png
Judgemental Rush Move +1, Health -10% Defeat the rednecks in the mission The Talk 2: The Gendering.
Adrenal Overload.png
Adrenal Overload Brains +40%, Health -30% Defeat the guard and his backups in the mission Operation: Blind Justice.
Empathy Surge.png
Empathy Surge Brains +25%, Spunk +25%, Health -15% Defeat the Freedom Pals in the mission Civil War 2: Playtime's Over.
Primal Aggression.png
Primal Aggression Brawn +25%, Brains +25%, Health -15% Defeat the bums of SoDoSoPa in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
The Ginger Sense.png
The Ginger Sense Brains +10%, Spunk +30%, Brawn -20% Defeat General Disarray in the mission The Hundred Hands of Chaos.
Subderman Mutation.png
Subdermal Mutation Spunk +30%, Health +30%, Brains -50% Defeat King Crab and the Crab People in the mission (You Can) Call on Me.
Crack Baby Rage.png
Crack Baby Rage Brains +50%, Move +1, Health -30% Loot from the chest located on the upper floor of Main Street Offices (where Mrs. Testaburger is located).
Pimp Strength.png
Pimp Strength Brawn +25%, Brains +25% Defeat the pimp and his two hoes in the mission The Big Beatdown.
Ungodly Strength.png
Ungodly Strength Brawn +25%, Brains +25%, Spunk +25% Defeat Shub-Niggurath in the mission The Thin White Line.
Gorilla Toughness.png
Gorilla Toughness Brawn +30%, Health +30%, Spunk -25% Defeat the first batch of mutated Sixth Graders in the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Homicidal Tendencies.png
Homicidal Tendencies Brawn +25%, Move +1, Health -10% Loot from the glass cabinet inside the side corridor, inside the lab area where Jasper the mutated ape Sixth Grader is seen caged in a room during the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Raging Hormones.png
Raging Hormones Spunk +40%, Health -15% Defeat the second batch of mutated Sixth Graders in the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Tactical Genius.png
Tactical Genius Brains +50%, Health -25% Loot from the glass cabinet inside the room where The New Kid's mother is seen incapacitated during the mission The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto.
Reward bikecreek.png
Nanobot Chassis Brawn +30%, Health +20%, Move +1 Complete the challenge set for the reward in the DLC Danger Deck.
Touch Of Youth.png
Touch of Youth Brains +35%, Spunk +35%, Move +1, Brawn -35%, Health -20% Defeat Corey Haim in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita.
Psychotic Episode.png
Psychotic Episode Brawn +50%, Brains -50%, Spunk -50%, Health +40% Defeat Nathan in the DLC Bring the Crunch.
Alien Evolution.png
Alien Evolution Brawn +40%, Brains +40%, Spunk -20%, Health -15%, Move +1 Defeat the Zarganor in the DLC Bring the Crunch.
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