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"Lil' Crime Stoppers"
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Episode no. Season 7
Episode 6
Production no. 706
Original airdate April 23, 2003
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"Lil' Crime Stoppers" is the sixth episode of Season Seven, and the 102nd overall episode of South Park. It first aired on April 23, 2003.[1]


After they return a missing doll to a little girl, the police department recognizes the boys' efforts and officially names them "junior deputies."[1]


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Plot details follow.

The boys decide to play detective and go around the town solving minor "crimes" for a dollar. They first investigate the disappearance of a pie left sitting on the windows of an elderly couple's home. After examining the scene of the crime, they come to the conclusion (based on no evidence at all) that the husband desperately hungered for the pie, but as his wife would not allow him to eat it yet, he intended to brutally murder her and dispose of her body in a gruesome manner. Before he could go through with the plan though, the pie had already been eaten by their dog, where the boys found it. The elderly couple are horrified that they could come up with such things, give them their dollar, and slam the door.

The detectives' next case involves the recovery of Sarah Peterson's stolen doll. They corner their first suspect, Butters (for no particular reason), interrogate him using the good cop/bad cop tactics, and demand that he remain in Cartman's bathroom to produce a semen sample. They then get a tip, which they follow, and manage to recover the doll from Bill and Fosse's house, though they had to wrestle the case away from some kids playing FBI, the leader being Agent Tucker (Craig). The recovery gets them recognized by the South Park PD, and they are made Junior Detectives. However, Lieutenant Dawson then begins to assign them cases that should have been reserved for full detectives, including busting a meth lab. When the drug dealers panic on their arrival, the lab and its evidence is destroyed, with every suspect inside being killed, to the fury of Dawson.

Other detectives mock the boys, and it is revealed to them that many of the cops on the force are corrupt and that the boys can do nothing to stop it (though they do not really plan to, or even care for that matter). The boys are then sent to a strip club owned by the leader of Colorado's greatest drug cartel, who was behind the original meth lab. Before the boys enter the strip club, the drug boss, Gino can be seen in his office talking, and he mentions that he wants the McCormicks to start making meth again (McCormick is also the family name of Kenny). When they arrive a shoot-out ensues, though the boys have nothing more than empty hands which they pretend are guns (while yelling "bang-bang").

Cops show up to give the boys backup, but it turns out that two of them are working with Gino, and they shoot the good cop. The corrupt cops then kill Gino, so that together they get all the money; however in a turn of events, one of those cops then kills the other, then deduces that there is only one person he can't trust - himself. He shoots himself in the head. The boys are credited with cleaning up the police force and are offered positions as full detectives. The boys, however, find reality more intense than their game, and decide to play laundromat instead, returning to Cartman's basement. When Butters arrives he declares that, having tried for the entire episode, he has managed to ejaculate and produce a semen sample. He managed this feat by thinking about Stan's mom's breasts. However, the boys declared that they are not playing detective anymore, so they no longer want a semen sample, though Cartman offers to clean his pants for him.


  706: "Lil' Crime Stoppers" edit
Story Elements

Mrs. FarnickleSarah PetersonPark County Police StationSouth Park PoliceBill AllenFosse McDonaldSouth Park Crime Unit


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South Park: The Complete Seventh Season