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"Kyle's Mom's a Bitch" is a song featured in the Season One episode, "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo" and in the South Park movie, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.

Background

The song was first sung in the episode, "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo", when Eric Cartman was upset with Kyle's mom for ruining Christmas. The song upset both Kyle Broflovski and Mr. Hankey; as Cartman sang it, Mr. Hankey came to life and launched himself at Cartman as the song ended.

In South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Cartman was angry that Sheila had started a war against Canada and was now going to have Terrance and Phillip executed. This time, the song contained much more bad language, including the use of the word "fuck", and a verse of the song being sung by children from around the world in different languages. Cartman continued singing the song without realizing that the person he was singing about was directly behind him and boy was she mad. In response, she had a V-chip placed on Cartman's brain to prevent him from further swearing.

Trivia

The French version of the song.

  • The song uses the word "bitch" 56 times, not counting French, Swahili, Dutch, or Chinese. The song only lasts approximately 71 seconds, which makes for 0.8 uses of the word 'bitch' per second.
  • When Sheila arrives, there is a minor mistake in her stance. When the camera is zoomed out, she is standing with her arm down and slightly to the right of Cartman. When the camera zooms in, she is standing behind him in a bit of slump with her hands on her hips.
  • When the song moves to China, the girl at the far right of the screen is one mouth movement behind the others.
  • This song is sung to a traditional polka beat.
  • The "Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo" version of the song can be found on Chef Aid: The South Park Album, as a bonus song immediately following the track "Mentally Dull (Think Tank Remix)".
  • A rap version by rapper Joe C. was featured on South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut soundtrack album.
  • When the song switches to Dutch, a person resembling Pip Pirrip can be seen.
  • On the soundtrack album, Kyle's "Shut your fucking mouth Cartman!" is removed. The same goes for Stan's "Uh, Cartman..." and the entire ending where Cartman says "What? Oh fuck...". However, the kids gasping are still there.
    • The soundtrack version also has Cartman's voice going much higher than the original after the international version.
  • The "Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo" version can also be heard in Cartman's closet in South Park: The Stick of Truth.
  • An instrumental version of the song plays when fighting Sheila in South Park: The Fractured But Whole.
  • In the lead-up to Season Twenty-Five, the song was re-recorded with an orchestral rendition.

Lyrics

"Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo"

Weeeeeeeeeellll
Kyle's mom is a bitch,
she's a big fat bitch,
she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a stupid bitch,
If there ever was a bitch,
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls.

Monday she's a bitch,
on Tuesday she's a bitch,
on Wednesday to Saturday she's a bitch
Then on Sunday, just to be different,
she's a super King Kamehameha bi-atch!

Have you ever met my friend Kyle's Mom
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world.
She's a mean ole bitch 'cause she has stupid hair,
she a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
she's a stupid bitch!
Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch!
Kyle's mom is a BI-I-I-ITCH aahh.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Weeeeeeeeeellll
Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch,
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls.

On Monday she's a bitch,
On Tuesday she's a bitch,
On Wednesday to Saturday she's a bitch
Then on Sunday, just to be different,
She's a super King Kamehameha biyotch!

Come on! You all know the words!

Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom?
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world.
(La-la-la-la-la-la-la)
She's a mean ole bitch, and she has stupid hair.
She's a bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch.

Bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch
She's a stupid bitch! (Whoa!)
Kyle's mom's a bitch
And she's such a dirty bitch! (Bitch!)

Talk to kids around the world,
And it might go a little bit something like this:

(Chinese)
凯子的妈妈是个泼妇,她是基佬秘术大师,我只想说,摸了被她变泼妇。
Kǎizi de māmā shìgè pōfù, tā shì jī lǎo mìshù dàshī, wǒ zhǐ xiǎng shuō, mōle bèi tā biàn pōfù,
Kyle Mom's a bitch, She is a master of gay skill, I just want to say, turn her into a bitch by touching it.
(French)
La mère de Kyle est une pute, c'est pour ça qu’on dit la plus grande pute du monde entier.
Kyle's Mom is a bitch, So that's why they calling She is biggest bitch whole wide world.
(Dutch)
Kyles moeder is een vieze jood, (???) vieze kutwijf (????)
Kyle's Mom is a dirty Jew, (???) dirty bitch (????)
(Swahili)
Mama yake Kyle ni mbwa mkubwa, ndiye ni mbwa mkubwa kuliko wote duniani hii.
Kyle's Mom is a dog, She is the biggest dog in whole wide world.

Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom?
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world.
(La-la-la-la-la-la-la)

She's a mean ole bitch, and she has stupid hair.
She's a bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch

Bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch-bitch.
She's a stupid bitch!

Kyle's mom's a bitch
And she's such a dirty bitch!

I really mean it!
Kyle's mom, she's a big! Fat! Fucking bitch!
Big ole fat fucking bitch, Kyle's mom!
Yeah, chaaaa!

Rap Version

Kid Rock:
Tell you bout Kyle's momma..
Ha ha hah..
Straight out of Taylor: Joey C

Joe C:
Kyle's momma is a big fat bitch
She's the biggest bitch I know and she stinks like shit
Remember back in the day when she was skinny? (Yeah)
Now she's fugly, but still thinks she's pretty (heh)

I just laugh, and walk on past
Sayin, "Shit god damn that's a big fat ass!"
Fuck that slut, she's a big fat trick
But I still let her suck this ten foot dick! (hah ha ha)

Joe C, I'm a crazy hit
Down with Kid Rock and the South Park clique (yeah)
I don't know much, but I know this shit
Kyle's momma is a big fat bitch!

Chorus
Kid Rock:
Kyle's momma is a big fat bitch [3x]

Joe C:
She's a three-toed, stanky-ass, cross-eyed bitch!

Kid Rock:
Uh-huh.. Kid Rock.. check it..

My homey named Kyle lives up the block
He's got a big fat mom, that sucks my cock, uhh
Non-stop, she's a sight to see
A real sloppy bitch, that does right by me

She might be the best suck in the mountains
Ten times a week - but shit, who's countin?
I'm astounded by the things she does
She's the suckinest, fuckinest, freak there ever was

She ain't a slut she's a super-groupie
And I pass that bitch around like a doobie
I don't know much, but I know this
Kyle's mom is a big fat bitch!

(Chorus)

Kid Rock:
Ohhhhhhh shit!

Tell em, Joe

Joe C:
I'm Joe C, the C stands for Cool
I might be a fuck, but I ain't no fool (uh-uh)
I just rolled from South Park to Boulder
Caught Kyle's mom trippin on X, so I bowled her

Then I sold her, cause I'm like that
Little freak-ass pimp, but you know that (nah)
I'm just mad, gold tracks, like I'm Puffy
Colorado bitches ain't shit but yuppies

Whattup? I'm the J-O-E
To the motherfuckin C in the place to be (uh, uh, yeah)
I don't know much, but I know this
Kyle's momma is a big fat beotch!

(Chorus)

Kid Rock:
Heh heh heh! Yup, that's right
Joey C, Kid Rock, The Twisted Brown fuckin' Trucker

This goes out to all the fat bitches of the world

Heh, yup yup yup
Time to drink some wine


Songs from Season One
Ave Satani | Bar-bura, Bar-bura | Canon in D | Christmas Lovin' | Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel | Gonna Fly | Happy, Happy, Happy | Happy Birthday to You | Hot Lava | I Love to Singa | I Remember When We Fell in Love | I'm Gonna Be On Television | I'm Gonna Make Love to You, Woman | If My Friends Could See Me Now | It's Okay to Be Gay | It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year | Kumbaya | Kyle's Mom's a Bitch | Love Gravy | Loving the Football | Lovin' You | Make Love, Even When I'm Dead | Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo | No Substitute | Now You're a Man | Oh Kathie Lee | Pig and Elephant DNA Just Won't Splice | Rabartu Smitu, Rabartu Smitu | Romeo and Juliet | Santa Claus is On His Way | School Days | Shadow Dancing | The Lonely Jew on Christmas | There You Are! | Waitin' On a Women | We Wish You a Merry Christmas | We're All Special

See also: List of Songs | List of Minor Characters from Season One | Season One


Songs from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
Blame Canada | Eyes of a Child | Hell Isn't Good | I Can Change | I'm Super | It's Easy, Mmm'kay | Kyle's Mom's a Bitch | La Resistance | Mountain Town | Mountain Town (Reprise) | The Mole's Reprise | Uncle Fucka | Up There | Wendy's Song | What Would Brian Boitano Do? | What Would Brian Boitano Do? Pt. II

See also: List of Songs | List of Minor Characters from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut | South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

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