John Edward

John Edward
Character Information
Gender	Male
Hair	Black
Age	54
Date of Birth	October 19, 1969
Occupation	Psychic medium
Appearances
First	"The Biggest Douche in the Universe"

John Edward, a supposedly psychic medium and host of Crossing Over, appears in the Season 6 episode "The Biggest Douche in the Universe".

Background

When Cartman's body begins to fail due to having Kenny's soul trapped inside him, Chef takes him, his mother, Stan and Kyle to New York, in hopes that John Edward's ability to talk to the dead will help get Kenny out of Cartman's body.

Unfortunately, everyone except Kyle quickly realizes that his 'gifts' are nothing more than a parlor trick. Kyle however comes to the belief that Edwards spoke to his grandmother, causing him to freak out and join a special school for Jewish kids in New York.

Wanting to get Kyle to snap out of his fear, Stan visits Edwards in hopes that he will tell Kyle the truth about his 'powers' being a trick, and thus return home to South Park. Edwards however refuses to admit that he's a fake, prompting Stan to call him a douche and then nominate him for "Biggest Douche in the Universe". Edward freaks out, runs to his panic room to call the police, during which Stan steals several of his books that teach how to fake being a psychic. Stan attempts to use the same tricks Edward used to convince Kyle of the truth.

Unfortunately, everyone comes to believe that Stan really is psychic and is given his own television show, during which Stan tells his audience exactly how he does the tricks, reminded them constantly that is not real and that Edwards is a fake. However, the audience is too stupid to understand that he isn't psychic.

Edwards then locates Stan, and challenges him to a psychic showdown, because Stan's show is doing better and because Stan continues to say he's a fake. Stan accepts, but at the showdown, tells the audience that he understands their desires to believe in Edwards and are comforted by the idea that their deceased family members are speaking through him, but that in the end it's still just a trick and that their family and friends have better things to do in the afterlife than talking to Edward.

The Biggest Douche in the Universe awards.

Furious, Edwards screams that he really is psychic and special, when all of a sudden an alien ship lands. Several aliens step off, and excitedly greet Edwards, informing him that Stan's nomination for "Biggest Douche in the Universe" was accepted and that he was to go to the awards ceremony. Edwards, screams "I'm not a Douche!" as he's dragged onto the ship against his will.

At the ceremony, he wins "Biggest Douche in the Universe" award (selected over an actual douche) and is said to be the first nominee ever to come from the Earth and the Milky Way Galaxy.

He also appears in "200" and "201", but doesn't speak.

Appearance

Edward appears in a blue shirt with black hair and often appears with his eyes not fully open.

Personality

He is extremely self-absorbed and appears to genuinely believe that he possesses psychic powers, and is utterly convinced that he is special in some way. However, he is also extremely insecure about himself and acts like a bit of a wimp, freaking out and threatening to run away, lock himself in his panic room and call the police when Stan accuses him of being a fake. He also appears to quickly become hysterical, screaming that he is not a douche whenever Stan refers to him as such. He also at one point threatens to sue Stan for slander, but does not follow up on this threat. In the episodes 200 and 201 however, he does sue the entire town of South Park for being slandered along with many other celebrities who have been mocked on the show.

Template:Minor characters Season Six