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Jesus is a Mystical set card in South Park: Phone Destroyer. When Jesus is spawned, he and the space around him will glow brightly and the characters in his healing range will shine for a split second. When Jesus dies, he will respawn beside his allies (or the New Kid if none) and repeat his spawn animation and warcry ability.

Level Upgrades[]

BM = Bronze Materials SM = Silver Materials GM = Gold Materials
Upgrade Attack Health Heal Cost
Coins BM SM GM
1/5 48 Attack 135 Health 60 0 Coin 0 0 0
2/5 48 Attack 139 Health 60 30 Coin 2 0 0
3/5 51 Attack 139 Health 60 60 Coin 5 1 0
4/5 51 Attack 144 Health 60 90 Coin 6 2 1
5/5 51 Attack 144 Health 70 120 Coin 7 2 1

BM = Bronze Materials SM = Silver Materials GM = Gold Materials
Upgrade Attack Health Heal Cost
Coins BM SM GM
Level 2 60 Attack 169 Health 70 175 Coin 0 0 0
6/15 61 Attack 169 Health 70 40 Coin 2 1 1
7/15 61 Attack 174 Health 70 80 Coin 4 2 1
8/15 63 Attack 174 Health 70 120 Coin 5 3 1
9/15 63 Attack 180 Health 70 150 Coin 7 5 1
10/15 65 Attack 180 Health 70 220 Coin 10 7 1
11/15 65 Attack 188 Health 70 235 Coin 13 8 2
12/15 65 Attack 188 Health 103 260 Coin 15 9 2
13/15 68 Attack 188 Health 103 280 Coin 17 10 2
14/15 68 Attack 198 Health 103 300 Coin 18 12 3
15/15 71 Attack 198 Health 103 315 Coin 19 13 3

BM = Bronze Materials SM = Silver Materials GM = Gold Materials
Upgrade Attack Health Heal Cost
Coins BM SM GM
Level 3 97 Attack 272 Health 103 1000 Coin 0 0 0
16/25 97 Attack 276 Health 103 50 Coin 3 3 1
17/25 99 Attack 276 Health 103 100 Coin 5 4 2
18/25 99 Attack 280 Health 103 150 Coin 10 5 2
19/25 99 Attack 280 Health 136 210 Coin 15 7 2
20/25 101 Attack 280 Health 136 290 Coin 20 10 3
21/25 101 Attack 286 Health 136 325 Coin 21 12 4
22/25 104 Attack 286 Health 136 350 Coin 22 13 4
23/25 104 Attack 293 Health 136 370 Coin 24 14 5
24/25 107 Attack 293 Health 136 400 Coin 25 15 5
25/25 107 Attack 301 Health 136 455 Coin 25 17 5

BM = Bronze Materials SM = Silver Materials GM = Gold Materials
Upgrade Attack Health Heal Cost
Coins BM SM GM
Level 4 125 Attack 351 Health 136 2000 Coin 0 0 0
26/40 125 Attack 351 Health 143 100 Coin 5 2 2
27/40 126 Attack 351 Health 143 200 Coin 7 4 2
28/40 126 Attack 355 Health 143 300 Coin 10 6 3
29/40 128 Attack 355 Health 143 395 Coin 15 7 3
30/40 128 Attack 360 Health 143 595 Coin 20 9 4
31/40 130 Attack 360 Health 143 645 Coin 25 11 5
32/40 130 Attack 366 Health 143 695 Coin 27 13 5
33/40 130 Attack 366 Health 157 745 Coin 29 15 6
34/40 133 Attack 366 Health 157 795 Coin 31 16 6
35/40 133 Attack 374 Health 157 845 Coin 33 17 7
36/40 136 Attack 374 Health 157 895 Coin 35 18 7
37/40 136 Attack 384 Health 157 925 Coin 37 19 8
38/40 140 Attack 384 Health 157 955 Coin 39 20 8
39/40 140 Attack 396 Health 157 985 Coin 42 21 9
40/40 140 Attack 396 Health 185 1090 Coin 45 22 10

BM = Bronze Materials SM = Silver Materials GM = Gold Materials
Upgrade Attack Health Heal Cost
Coins BM SM GM
Level 5 149 Attack 421 Health 185 6000 Coin 0 0 0
41/55 150 Attack 421 Health 185 120 Coin 4 3 1
42/55 150 Attack 423 Health 185 245 Coin 9 8 2
43/55 151 Attack 423 Health 185 365 Coin 13 10 3
44/55 151 Attack 425 Health 185 490 Coin 18 11 4
45/55 152 Attack 425 Health 185 735 Coin 27 14 4
46/55 152 Attack 428 Health 185 795 Coin 29 15 5
47/55 152 Attack 428 Health 193 855 Coin 31 17 5
48/55 153 Attack 428 Health 193 915 Coin 35 18 6
49/55 153 Attack 432 Health 193 980 Coin 38 19 7
50/55 154 Attack 432 Health 193 1040 Coin 40 20 7
51/55 154 Attack 436 Health 193 1100 Coin 41 21 8
52/55 155 Attack 436 Health 193 1135 Coin 43 22 9
53/55 155 Attack 442 Health 193 1175 Coin 45 23 9
54/55 155 Attack 442 Health 208 1210 Coin 47 24 10
55/55 157 Attack 442 Health 208 1345 Coin 50 25 10

BM = Bronze Materials SM = Silver Materials GM = Gold Materials
Upgrade Attack Health Heal Cost
Coins BM SM GM
Level 6 166 Attack 467 Health 208 12000 Coin 0 0 0
56/70 166 Attack 468 Health 208 170 Coin 7 5 1
57/70 167 Attack 468 Health 208 345 Coin 15 10 3
58/70 167 Attack 469 Health 208 515 Coin 25 13 4
59/70 168 Attack 469 Health 208 685 Coin 30 17 5
60/70 168 Attack 470 Health 208 1030 Coin 35 21 5
61/70 168 Attack 470 Health 214 1115 Coin 40 27 6
62/70 169 Attack 470 Health 214 1205 Coin 42 29 7
63/70 169 Attack 472 Health 214 1290 Coin 46 30 8
64/70 170 Attack 472 Health 214 1375 Coin 52 31 9
65/70 170 Attack 474 Health 214 1460 Coin 58 32 10
66/70 171 Attack 474 Health 214 1545 Coin 60 34 12
67/70 171 Attack 477 Health 214 1600 Coin 65 35 14
68/70 171 Attack 477 Health 225 1650 Coin 70 37 16
69/70 172 Attack 477 Health 225 1700 Coin 75 39 17
70/70 172 Attack 481 Health 225 1890 Coin 80 40 18
Level 7 181 Attack 506 Health 225 24000 Coin 0 0 0

Quotes[]

  • "I forgive you! For you know not what you do!"
  • "South Park is a pretty fucked up town."
  • "Ow!"
  • "No!"
  • "Nope."
  • "Await my return!"
  • "Heyyoooo!"
  • "Prepare to meet your maker!"
  • "Jesus 3:16 says, I just whopped your ass."
  • "This seems a bit blasphemous."
  • "By the power of the Holy Spirit!"
  • "You may be the Phone Destroyer, but I am Jesus!"
  • "Hallelujah! Here I am!"
  • "That feels nice. Doesn't it?"
  • "Satan's not such a bad guy really."
  • "Beam!"
  • "Jab!"
  • "My children, you're saved."
  • "My blessing to you all!"
  • "What are you doing?!"
  • "I am here to save your souls!"
  • "Forgive them, father!"

Patch History[]

  • May 05, 2020
    • Will now respawn near the New Kid.
  • February 04, 2020
    • Increase Health by 22.5% (from base 110 to 135),
    • increase Heal Power by 20% (from base 50 to 60)
    • increase Heal Range by 40% (from 2.5 to 3.5)
  • December 11, 2019
    • Added to game.

Trivia[]

  • The card art is based off Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper.
  • God and Saint Peter are found sitting next to Jesus. The card also shows Frosty in the background.
  • Among the items found on the table are a bag of Cheesy Poofs and some Easter eggs.
  • Jesus' weapon is previously used in "Fantastic Easter Special".
South Park: Phone Destroyer Cards
Adventure Cards
Arrow Tower | Arrowstorm | Bandita Sally | Barrel Dougie | Big Mesquite Murph | Buccaneer Bebe | Calamity Heidi | Captain Wendy | Deckhand Butters | Fireball | Frontier Bradley | Full Moon Sparky | Gunslinger Kyle | Hookhand Clyde | Hunter Jimbo | Incan Craig | Indian Brave | Indian Brute | Indian Hunter | Inuit Kenny | Lightning Bolt | Medicine Woman Sharon | Outlaw Tweek | Pirate Ship Timmy | Pocahontas Randy | Shaman Tolkien | Sharpshooter Shelly | Sheriff Cartman | Smuggler Ike | Stan of Many Moons | Storyteller Jimmy | Swashbuckler Red | Swordsman Garrison | Thunderbird | War Hero Ned
Sci-Fi Cards
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000 | Alien Clyde | Alien Drone | Alien Queen Red | Astronaut Butters | Auto-Vacuum | Bounty Hunter Kyle | Commander Hat | Cyborg Kenny | Cyborg Titan | Cyborg Tower | Enforcer Jimmy | Dr. Mephesto | Four-Assed Monkey | Freeze Ray | Gizmo Ike | Hyperdrive | Ice Sniper Wendy | Infiltrator Kevin | Marine Craig | Mecha Timmy | Mind Control | Poison | Powerfist Dougie | Program Stan | Robo Bebe | Sixth Element Randy | Sizzler Stuart | Space Grunt | Space Gunner | Space Pilot Bradley | Space Warrior Tolkien | Subzero Titan | Toxic Pylon | Turbo Space Grunt | Visitors | Warboy Tweek
Mystical Cards
Angel Wendy | Archangel Bradley | Choirboy Butters | Cupid Cartman | Dark Angel Red | Energy Staff | Friar Jimmy | Hallelujah | Healing Fountain | Hercules Clyde | Hermes Kenny | Holy Defender | Imp Tweek | Jesus | Little Choirboy | Medusa Bebe | Mormon Missionary | Pope Timmy | Poseidon Stan | Power Bind | Priest Maxi | Prophet Dougie | Purify | Regeneration | S-WOW Tittybang | Scout Ike | Sexy Nun Randy | Snake | The Master Ninjew | Unholy Combustion | Witch Doctor Tolkien | Youth Pastor Craig | Zen Cartman | Zionist Ranger
Fantasy Cards
Alchemist Scott | Blood Elf Bebe | Canadian Knight Ike | Castle Defender | Catapult Timmy | Chicken Coop | City Wok Guy | Cock Magic | Crusader | Dark Mage Craig | Dragonslayer Red | Dwarf Engineer Dougie | Dwarf King Clyde | Elven King Bradley | Grand Wizard Cartman | Kyle of the Drow Elves | Le Bard Jimmy | Mr. Slave Executioner | Native Hunter | Nymph Nichole | Paladin Butters | Princess Kenny | Robin Tweek | Rogue Tolkien | Rune Totem | Shieldmaiden Wendy | Sorceress Liane | Squire | Stan the Great | The Amazingly Randy | Transmogrify | Underpants Gnomes | Witch Garrison
Superheroes Cards
Alternate Human Kite | Call Girl | Captain Diabetes | Changeling Red | Chaos Hamsters | Doctor Timothy | Fastpass | General Disarray | Human Kite | Lava! | Mary Jane Randy | Member Berries | Mintberry Crunch | Mosquito | Mosquito Swarm | Mysterion | Potted Plant | Professor Chaos | Super Craig | Super Fart | The Chomper | The Coon | Toolshed | Tupperware | Wonder Tweek
Neutral Cards
A Cock | A Rat | Classi | Cow Stampede | DogPoo | Firkle | Future Randy | Henrietta | ManBearPig | Marcus | Mayor McDaniels | Michael | Mimsy | Mr. Hankey | Mr. Mackey | Nathan | Nelly | Officer Barbrady | PC Principal | Pete | Pigeon Gang | President Garrison | Rat Swarm | Santa Claus | Satan | Scuzzlebutt | Starvin' Marvin | Terrance and Phillip | Terrance Mephesto | Towelie | Woodland Critters
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