"If My Friends Could See Me Now" is a song from the musical Sweet Charity. It was featured in the Season One episode, "Weight Gain 4000".


A young Kathie Lee Gifford sang the song in a talent competition during Herbert Garrison's flashback to his childhood. He lost the contest to Kathie Lee because of her performance complete with hand puppets and choreography.


Kathy Lee Epstein:

If they could see me now, that little gang of mine.
I'm eating fancy chow and drinking fancy wine.
I'd like those stumble bums to see for a fact
The kind of top-drawer first-rate chums I attract
All I can say is, "Wow-wee, look-a where I am."
Tonight I landed, Pow!, right in a pot of jam.
What a setup! Holy Cow!
They'd never believe it, if my friends could see me now!


  • At the time of this episodes airing, the real Kathie Lee Gifford was the spokeswoman for Carnival Cruise ships and featured her singing this song in its advertisements.

Songs from Season One
Ave Satani | Bar-bura, Bar-bura | Canon in D | Christmas Lovin' | Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel | Gonna Fly | Happy, Happy, Happy | Hot Lava | I Love to Singa | I Remember When We Fell in Love | I'm Gonna Be On Television | I'm Gonna Make Love to You Woman | If My Friends Could See Me Now | It's Okay to Be Gay | It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year | Kumbaya | Kyle's Mom's a Bitch | Love Gravy | Loving the Football | Lovin' You | Make Love, Even When I'm Dead | Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo | No Substitute | Now You're a Man | Oh Kathie Lee | Pig and Elephant DNA Just Won't Splice | Rabartu Smitu, Rabartu Smitu | Santa Claus is On His Way | School Days | Shadow Dancing | The Lonely Jew on Christmas | There You Are! | Waitin' On a Women | We Wish You a Merry Christmas | We're All Special

See Also: List of Songs | List of Minor Characters from Season One | Season One

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