|"Go God Go"|
| [[Image:|250px]] |
Mrs. Garrison teaches her convoluted form of evolution
|Episode no.|| Season 10|
|Original airdate||November 1, 2006|
|List of all South Park episodes|
Plot details follow.
Cartman is impatiently waiting for the release of the Nintendo Wii outside the South Park Mall, pacing back and forth waiting for time to go by. His mother finds him, who he tells he can't go to school, because he has to wait for the Nintendo Wii that comes out in three weeks. He is forced to go to school by his mother though. Mrs. Garrison, at the same time, is refusing to Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey to teach evolution to her class, saying it is wrong and a stupid theory. The principal dismissed her refusal and Mrs. Garrison is forced to teach the subject.
Feeling angry, she goes on to teach evolution with no enthusiasm, leaving the students with still no knowledge on the subject.
"In the beginning, we were all fish swimming around in the water. Then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different so it got to live. So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies. Then one day a retard baby crawls out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands, and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something and made this, retard frog squirrel. Then that had butt sex with a monkey and had a retard baby which was a monkey fish frog, and then that monkey fish frog had butt sex with another monkey, that had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey, and that made you. So there you go, you're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish squirrel, congratulations." - Janet Garrison
Cartman runs out of the classroom after this, not able to stand the wait for the Nintendo Wii any longer, which Mrs. Garrison mistakes for not being able to handle the evolution theory. Cartman is convinced by a shopkeeper saying to him for the fortieth time, Pacing in front of the store isn't going to make the Wii come any faster! and is forced to go home by his mother. Cartman isn't able to sleep a wink that night (which in fact, the wait causes his extreme insomnia and other symptoms), and decides to freeze himself to make time go by faster. Stan, Kyle and Kenny refuse to help him, not wanting to be responsible for his death. A young girl and her parents come to the school to complain about why their daughter thinks she is a 'retarded fish frog', and Principal Victoria decides to replace Mrs. Garrison with Richard Dawkins, a strong proponent of evolution. Mrs. Garrison does not take kindly to this and almost makes it impossible for Dawkins to teach the theory the next day. The class ends with Dawkins telling Mrs. Garrison that he is an atheist which sends her into a great fury and starts throwing her crap at Dawkins, which leads to Principal Victoria wanting to take Mrs. Garrison out of the class. Dawkins defends her though, and she is allowed to stay.
In the hall, Dawkins says he admires her, and asks her on a date. Mrs. Garrison changes her opinion on him on the spot, and is excited for her first real date with a man since her sex change operation. Liane Cartman, while putting groceries away, finds Cartman in the freezer trying to freeze himself. So Cartman goes to Butters instead for help. The two trek out far into the mountains, so no one will find him to early. Butters leaves him in the snow, and later that night, his frozen body is covered in an avalanche leaving him lost in all the snow. Mrs. Garrison at the same time is on her date with Dawkins, and they end up having sex after a wonderful date.
Eric Cartman is lost for hundreds of years, and finally unfrozen in the future. He is not worried about the fact all his friends and family are dead, but is distressed by the fact the Nintendo Wii does not exist in that time. Back in the past, Mrs. Garrison has changed her views on evolution and God all together after her date, and now believes that religion is stupid, and not science. She punishes Stan for trying to defend religion in class by forcing him to wear a dunce cap which says, "I have faith". Later that day, Mrs. Garrison convinces Dawkings to be tougher on religion and the two decide to get rid of it.
Butters gets worried when his his mother and two police men ask if he's seen Cartman around, and asks his friend Dougie if anything bad can happen if you freeze yourself. When he is informed you could die, Butters goes to find Cartman. Butters and Dougie realize that Cartman is lost when they cant find him, and decide not to tell anyone so Butters doesn't go to jail.
In the future, Cartman learns that there may be a Nintendo Wii in the museum of technology in New Newhampshire. Those who unfroze him say they will take him to it, if he helps them. They inform him that in his time, a great event happened that made the whole entire world atheist. They say that someone in his time created their group, the Unified Atheist League, but before they can tell them who they are attacked by the United Atheist 'Alliance' who they are at war with. They take Cartman, and quickly contact the Allied Atheist Allegiance, a group of super intelligent sea otters, who they are also at war with. The Sea Otters declare open war to who holds the 'Time Child' and want to usher in a new era of the Sea Otters.