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Script


Call the Banners "Call the Banners/Script" "Gate Crasher/Script" "Hot Coffee/Script" Hot Coffee

Cast[]

Script[]

Gate Crasher
The New Kid approaches the security guard manning the gate outside Tolkien's house
Security guard
This is a gated community, sir. We do not allow in the riffraff. Move along, sir.
If the New Kid speaks to the security guard without a mask, the security guard applies pepper spray onto the New Kid, who will then throw up
Security guard
If you try again, I will pepper spray you back to the Stone Age.
If the New Kid approaches the guard again
Security guard
I warn you, sir. I have five years of training at the mall. Move along, sir!
Security guard
Sir, I'm a professional security guard. It is impossible to get past me.
The New Kid travels to Jimbo's Guns to get a mask
Butters
Well, hello there, Jimbo and Ned!
Jimbo
Well! What brings you here today? Business or pleasure? Or vengeance?
Butters
Vengeance!
Ned
You've come to the right place.
The New Kid speaks to Jimbo
Jimbo
Howdy there! Haven't seen you before. You must be the new kid that moved to town, and you're into hunting, huh? Well, my boy, you've come to the right place! South Park is chock full o' things to shoot that would delight ANY taxidermist, survivalist, or Weekend Animal Death enthusiast! Ain't much I can sell to a minor, thanks to the stupid Democrats. Bu-but if you can prove yourself a REAL hunter I might be able to get you some better stuff. [whips out a book] You should buy a copy of the Hunter's Guide to South Park Wildlife! This book thingy here! [puts the book away]
The New Kid purchases a mask from Jimbo, then returns to the security guard at Tolkien's house. The security guard sprays the New Kid again, to no avail this time
Security guard
What the fuck?! Oh NO!
The New Kid engages in a battle with the security guard
When the security guard is defeated
Security guard
Move... along...
End of Gate Crasher
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