Cartman sees a commercial featuring Sarah McLachlan about babies addicted to crack. The babies are shown in a very sad state, crying with no one to hold or love them. Sarah appeals to the public to volunteer. Kyle is moved to go to Colorado Medical Center to volunteer.
There, he bumps into Cartman who is also volunteering. Kyle follows him and sees that he, Craig, Clyde, and Butters have gathered together to form a new business that takes the crack babies and makes them fight each other for a small crack rock. At first, Kyle is shocked and horrified at what Cartman has done, and that he is going to tell on him. However, after seeing and noting the amount of money Cartman's company has made, Kyle eventually joins in and works with them.
They work to turn the crack baby fights into a legitimate sport. Cartman attempts to cut a deal with EA Sports for a video game, while Craig and Clyde struggle to find the musician Slash to get him to play halftime at EA Sports' upcoming game. Kyle convinces Cartman to spend 30% of the money from the deal on a state-of-the-art orphanage for the crack babies. However, EA Sports ultimately screws the group out of the entire business and refuses to pay them anything, causing Kyle to be unable to build the orphanage. However, at the end of the episode, the orphanage has been built anyways, though it was never revealed who paid for it to be built.
The crack babies wear only diapers. They have large, more realistic eyes with large colored irises. They appear thin, emaciated, and sickly. Some have spare strings of hair while others have full heads of hair and some wear beanies.