Crab People appeared in the episode "South Park is Gay!". They ran a show called Queer Eye for the Straight Guy disguised as homosexual men. They are often heard chanting "Crab people, Crab people. Taste like crab, talk like people."


In "South Park is Gay!", their plans of taking over the world, by making everyone metrosexual, are revealed to Kyle Broflovski. Their goal was to make all the men weak, so an invasion would be easy, due to them being small and weak themselves. If they are unable to force people to be metrosexual, they dress them up in typical Crab People garb, claiming that this makes them one of them. The TV producers said they did it before on the Jeffersons.

In "Quest for Ratings", Eric Cartman suggested Crab People while brainstorming ideas for a news show.

They were also mentioned at the end of "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow", where they were blamed for destroying the Beaverton dam.


Crab People are anthropomorphic crabs, vaguely resembling anthropomorphized coconut crabs in appearance. They vary in color and have biological crab features, such as antennae, claws, and crab shells. In "South Park is Gay!", they take on human disguises, disguising themselves as the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, which they do with using highly realistic skin and body suits


The Crab people are evil creatures whose intention is world domination, which they seek through the manipulation and corruption of mankind. They are also a highly intelligent and advanced species, being able to cunningly trick humans into believing their various schemes and fads, allowing them to destroy societies. They are also rather elaborate and extravagant in nature, often enjoying ritualistic chanting and taking great pleasure and enjoyment in the sly art of impersonating humans and their behaviours.


South Park is Gay!

  • Leader: "We are the Crab People!"
  • Crab People: "Crab People! Crab People! Crab People!."
  • Crab Man 2: "Very well. If we can't make you into metrosexuals, then we will make you into crab people! Take them!!"
  • Crab Man 3: They cannot see or hear us, foolish man. Now stand by and watch as your pitiful race becomes helpless!!"

South Park: The Fractured But Whole

D-MOBILE Crab Man 1

Call Girl

  • Crab Man: "The human spawn is delicate!"
  • Crab Man: "Resistance to D-Mobile nationwide coverage is futile!"
  • Crab Man: "We shall enslave you another day, such as tomorrow customer!"
  • Crab Man: "Customer! You have nothing to lose except poor call quality!"
  • Crab Man: "Punish your current network operator, not salescrab!"
  • Crab Man: "Let me tell you about our generous rollover policy!"
  • Crab Man: "You must be jealous of my free D-Chat!"
  • Crab Man: "Bow before the might of D-Mobile, puny customers!"
  • Crab Man: "For D-Mobile and it's related subsidiaries!"
  • Crab Man: "The surface realms belongs to D-Mobile!"
  • Crab Man: "Can I offer you a complimentary pinching, customer?"
  • Crab Man: "Look at how man bleeds so easily!"
  • Crab Man: "The human spawn is delicate!"
  • Crab Man: "I shall divide you into smaller pieces for consumption!"
  • Crab Man: "Damn man's mastery of electricity!"
  • Crab Man: "This vomit was meant to nourish my offspring!"
  • Crab Man: "Curse you and you hurtful man-tricks!"
  • Crab Man: "Curse you, humans!"
  • Crab Man: "Cease your aggression!"
  • Crab Man: "That's inappropriate!"
  • Crab Man: "I guess you just don't like savings!"
  • Crab Man: "Taste like crab, kill like people."
  • Crab Man: "Fight like crab, kill all people."
  • Crab Man: "Sell like crab, enslave all people!"
  • Crab Man: "Looks like crab, join the people!"
  • Crab Man: "KILL THE PEOPLE!"
  • Crab Man: "Come, human! Submit to our contract terms!"
  • Crab Man: "Submit, foolish vertebrate!"
  • Crab Man: "Hold still customer! I have savings for you!"
  • Crab Man: "Violence is unbecoming in a customer!"
  • Crab Man: "Why must humans persecute crab kind!"
  • Crab Man: "I declare your service complaint resolved!"
  • Crab Man: "You are powerless in the face of our superior mobile data offerings!"
  • Crab Man: "I can't pinch anything!"
  • Crab Man: "Monetize first, dine on trails later!"
  • Crab Man: "Can I offer you a complimentary pinching, customer!"
  • Crab Man: "The manager is dead! No one sent me my hours! He was about to give me a raise!"
  • Pinchy: "I accept your challenge!"
  • Pinchy: "It's been a pleasure!"
  • D-MOBILE Crab Man 1: "Don't make us summon the manager!"
  • D-MOBILE Crab Man: "Behold the might of our manager!"
  • D-MOBILE Crab Man: "Now you've done it! Our manager approaches!"
  • King Crab: "YOUR NAME AND D-Mobile NUMBER PLEASE!"
  • King Crab: "Customer needs assistance!
  • King Crab: "Protect your manager!"
  • King Crab: "Break time's over!"
  • King Crab: "Has a salescrab told you about our friends and family plan?"
  • King Crab: "I must D-Chat Mr. Conner - we have failed!"


Video GamesEdit

Let's Go Tower Defense Play!Edit

Crab People are villains in the video game South Park Let's Go Tower Defense Play! on several levels, they are most easily defeated with the Firey-Works tower, making them rather weak and easy to defeat, but they make up for this in numbers and speed, often moving to the end of the level quickly.

South Park: The Stick of TruthEdit

Crab People can be found in South Park: The Stick of Truth. Their lair can be found through the sewers. Chanting is heard throughout the cavern. During the beta, Crab People were originally meant to have their own boss fight, but were scrapped for unknown reasons.

South Park: The Fractured But WholeEdit

Crab people are enemies in the video game South Park: The Fractured But Whole. They are first encountered during the quest (You Can) Call on Me, where the New Kid and Call Girl discover that they have taken over the D-Mobile store. They attempt to pass themselves off as normal human employees, but Call Girl quickly sees through their charade and engages them in combat, eventually killing the manager, King Crab, forcing the remaining crab people to flee the store. After their defeat, they reappear fighting alongside the other enemies the New Kid has made throughout game, ambushing the New Kid during the quest To Catch a Coon as they leave Tweek Bros. Coffee. They can later be found and fought near Stark's Pond and South Park Church.



Minor Characters from Season Seven
Agent Tucker | Alex Glick | American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) | Benjamin Franklin | Chief Runs With Premise | Christopher Reeve | Crab People | The Crips | Gary Harrison | Gene Hackman | Gino | Harry and Elise Gintz | Hopkins | Jason Bell | Jeff Goldblum | Jennifer Lopez | Josh Myers | Joozians | Lieutenant Dawson | Lucy Harris | Mrs. Streibel | Murphy and Jenkins | Najix | Sarah Peterson | Wise Man

See Also: List of Minor Characters from Season Seven | Season Seven

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