On a game show, a couple called Tom and Mary (much to their disappointment) win a prize to go to South Park's 14th Annual Cow Days festival.
At the carnival, the boys spot Terrance and Phillip dolls on a ball-throwing game. The game features a picture of Jennifer Love Hewitt; with the hole as her mouth. Unfortunately the game is rigged so the balls are bigger than the hole. Kyle runs out of money after a failed attempt of the game and the boys go to get money from their parents.
On their way back through the carnival Cartman suggests they go on some of the rides which turn out to be ridiculous, such as the disgusting "Chamber of Farts" and the "Line Ride". All of these turn out to be a waste of time and money.
Back at the ball game, Kyle tries again. On one go the ball gets stuck in the hole and pops back causing Kyle to shout shenanigans. This brings the attention of Officer Barbrady who inspects the game. The stall owner says Kyle has another ball left, and gives Kyle a smaller one that does go through the hole. Barbrady then leaves. Kyle then asks for the dolls but gets a toothpick. The stall owner says he needs seven toothpicks so that he can trade up for the dolls.
The cows of South Park have discovered the newly built giant cow clock, and have stolen it. Jimbo asks everyone if they took it, but then believes that Tom and Mary from out of town are the only people with a reason to steal it. They are promptly arrested.
Out of money, the boys put Cartman in a bull riding contest due to him wasting all the money on terrible rides. As they trial him he sustains minor injuries, and they suggest trying him on a real bull next instead of a simulation. The bull is very timid, until Kyle throws a snowball at the bull's testicles causing it to go mad. It flings Cartman into snow sending him into a deep memory loss. Cartman wakes up and believes himself to be a Vietnamese prostitute called Ming Li.
At the hospital, Dr. Doctor explains Cartman will need to rest, but the boys have other plans and put him in the contest. In his unusual frame of mind, Cartman offers sex to any adult male he sees. On the bull he manages to win after holding on tight for a new world record. In the process, Kenny is stabbed by the bull's horn and dies.
Jimbo, with the help of Ned, finds the cows who have formed a cult revolving around the cow clock they had stolen. The FBI arrives and tell the cows to freeze, but they ignore and one by one, jump off a cliff to their deaths.
Cartman, having won the contest, has a large amount of prize money that he and the boys use on the ball-throwing game. The stall owner says he's going to be really nice and just give them the dolls for all their money. Kyle suddenly discovers that the dolls are a rip-off and declares shenanigans again. The whole town declares shenanigans due to being fed up with the festival being a complete bore and a riot breaks out.
Mayor McDaniels asks Jimbo and Ned what happened with the clock, and they explain about the mass cow suicide. The Mayor suddenly remembers that they are still holding Tom and Mary that they forgot to release them.
At the prison, the Mayor asks Barbrady if he released them to which he replies he forgot. The two of them are now merely skeletons being eaten at by rats and they starve to death.
After the event, Stan and Kyle seem to have got hundreds of the dolls. Cartman shows up and explains he had a weird dream involving him becoming a prostitute and making love to Leonardo DiCaprio, to which the actor pulls up in his limousine and says thank you to Ming Li. Cartman then replies "Oh! Son of a bitch!".