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Episode no. Season 5
Episode 6
Production no. 506
Original airdate July 25, 2001
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Cartmanland is the sixth episode of Season Five, and the 71st overall episode of South Park. It aired on July 25, 2001.[1]


Cartman inherits a million dollars from his grandmother and fulfills his lifelong dream of owning his own amusement park: Cartmanland![1]


SPW pic -- Spoiler Spoiler warning!
Plot details follow.

Upon the death of his grandmother, Cartman inherits $1,000,000. Delighted, Cartman makes an offer to buy an amusement park, North Park Funland, having always wanted a park all to himself without having to wait in lines. When he hears of Cartman's good fortune, Kyle comes down with a stress-induced (and sentient) hemorrhoid, which becomes increasingly worse as Cartman's fortune increases. After an ad about Cartman's theme park comes on TV (informing people that no one will be allowed in especially Stan and Kyle, which business analysts wrongly believe to be "the brilliant 'you can't come' technique"), Kyle and Stan attempt to sneak into the theme park over a fence. Unfortunately, Kyle pops his hemorrhoid on the wire fence, infecting the sore and almost killing him. He is taken to the hospital where he denounces his faith completely. His parents try to make him feel better by describing the trials of Job, however all this does is convince him that God is petty and will do bad things to good people for no real reason, sinking him further into his depression.

In the hospital, Stan tries to reassure Kyle that nobody could really enjoy a theme park alone, but Cartman is shown to be having considerable fun. However, after the incident with Stan and Kyle, he is forced to hire a security guard. Cartman is dismayed to find the security guard refuses to be paid in free rides, and the guard suggest he let in two paying customers a day to cover his salary. Since he will barely notice two people in the park and does need security, Cartman grudgingly agrees. However, one of the rides breaks forcing Cartman to hire a maintenance worker, which in turn forces him to hire food and drink staff. As a result, Cartman now has to let in eight people a day.

In the hospital, Kyle watches a news broadcast which tells him that the park is incredibly successful and making lots of money, to the point where other businesses are only allowing a few people into drive up demand, and it praises Cartman as a financial genius. He abruptly suffers from temporary heart failure, and though he is resuscitated it becomes clear that he is losing his will to live.

Despite business being great, Cartman could not be less happy as his expenses have mounted to the point where he's got to start letting everyone into the park. As a result, it is soon completely full and Cartman finds he is once again forced to share rides with other kids sucking all the fun and novelty out of the place. He sells the park back to its original owner Mr. Foon for his original profit. However, all his money is promptly taken to pay off the IRS due to him not paying tax on the place, and also to pay off a lawsuit by Mr. and Mrs. McCormick, as Kenny died on one of the roller coasters. Not only does Cartman lose all his money, but he still owes an additional $13,000. He frantically tries to buy the park back from the owner so he can pay it off, but the owner will not resell due to the park's new-found success, and the fact Cartman has no money to buy back the park.

Stan gets the idea to bring Kyle down to the park, where they observe that Cartman is extremely miserable and frustrated; more so than if he had never acquired the park in the first place. He throws rocks at his old park, but his old security guard sprays him in the eyes with mace and puts him in horrible pain. Observing this justice, Kyle regains his faith and desire to live, his now-sentient hemorrhoid is put into remission, and he recovers almost instantly. He awakens and, seeing Cartman's misery and wanting to die, realizes there is a God who cares for him after all.


  1. 1.0 1.1 Cartmanland (Season 5, Episode 6).

  506: "Cartmanland" edit
Story Elements

Mabel CartmanNorth Park FunlandSecurity GuardFrank Fun


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