South Park Archives

Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch is the mascot of the Cap'n Crunch cereal, appearing in South Park: The End of Obesity.


Captain Crunch was part of a group of cereal mascots, having run a successful business in the sugar industry. The news of the boys making affordable weight-loss drugs on their own reaches the group, with mascots intending to destroy their trade in response. The mascots posed themselves as a militant group and carried out a shooting at a semaglutide factory in India, with Captain Crunch as one of the attackers.

The mascots deployed themselves to a truck loaded with semaglutides on the way to South Park, with the intention of destroying the supply, albeit unsuccessfully. The vehicle which Captain Crunch was riding on swerved in front of the truck after being bumped by another vehicle driven by the women of South Park, causing Captain Crunch to be trapped under the truck. When Cartman finds an Ozempic syringe lying on of the hood, he crawls forward to try retrieve it, but gets intercepted by Captain Crunch, who then passes him a box of Lizzo which Cartman had been prescribed from the beginning. Captain Crunch, still clinging onto the hood, is caught in a collision between the truck and two other vehicles.


Captain Crunch wears a sailor's uniform with peak cap imprinted "C".