Cable ACE Awards 1997

CableACE Awards 1997

The 19th Annual Cable ACE Awards 1997 was a South Park short created for the CableACE Awards of 1997.

Background

Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are special presenters for the "The Best Talk Show Series" award. The nominees were:

• Charles Grodin: The Charles Grodin Show, CNBC.
• James Lipton: Inside The Actors Studio, Bravo Cable Network.
• Various NBC News Commentaters: InterNight, MSNBC
• Larry King: Larry King Live, CNN.
• Bill Maher: Politically Incorrect, Comedy Central.

Throughout the presentation, the boys complain about the cheapness of the ACE awards during the previous untelevised night, by saying it was general admission, they had to pack their own dinners, and the prize for winning best animation series was a 5 Dollar gift certificate to Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles . Kenny reads the winning nominee in a muffled voice which was tranlated by Stan as Inside The Actors Studio Bravo Cable Network. They all clap at the end and nothing bad happens to Kenny.

Trivia

• This was last year the Cable Ace Awards were ever awarded.

Script

	[A stage. Sela Ward is speaking]
Sela Ward:	Here are Stan, Kyle, Cartman [cheers and applause rise up from the audience] and the most eloquent of them all, Kenny. [looks off to her left. Cut to a construction-paper stage. Stan and Cartman enter from screen left, Kyle and Kenny from screen right. They line up abreast behind a little podium]
Stan:	Whoa, dude! Sela Ward is hot!
Kyle:	Yeah!
Kenny:	(Yeah, I'd pinch her to get in trouble) [the others laugh]
Stan:	Yeah. I would, too.
Kyle:	Tonight, we are here to present the award for Best Talk Show Series.
Cartman:	Ey! Wait a minute!
Kyle:	What?!
Cartman:	This doesn't look anything like last night's Cable Ace Awards! Everything's all fancy!
Stan:	That's because we were on last night, Cartman, when they did the non-teleivsed awards for little, unimportant shows like ours.
Cartman:	What do you mean?! Why were we on last night?!
Stan:	Dude, it was the same as tonight, except that we had general-admission seating, and had to pack our own dinners.
Kyle:	Yeah. And instead of an actual award, people received a $5 gift certificate at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.
Cartman:	That sucks! Who's in charge here?!
Stan:	Anyway, the nominees for Best Talk Show series are-
Cartman:	No! Everybody, just? hold on a minute!
Stan:	Will you shut your fat mouth for five seconds, Cartman, so we can do this?!
Cartman:	No way!
Kyle:	Shut up, Cartman!
Stan:	Anyway, the Best Talk Show nominees are?
Kyle:	[displays a picture of the first nominee] Charles Grodin, CNBC.
Cartman:	[displays a picture of the second nominee] Inside the Actors Studio, Bravo Cable Network.
Stan:	[displays a picture of the third nominee] Internight, MSNBC.
Cartman:	[displays a picture of the fourth nominee] Larry King Live, CNN.
Kyle:	[displays a picture of the fifth nominee] And Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher, on Comedy-ee Cen-tral.
Cartman:	Mmeh!
Stan:	And the winner is?
Kyle:	Now, remember: there are no losers at the Cable Ace Awards, only people who are less likely to have another season.
Stan:	Yeah. [the audience laughs] And the winner is?
Kenny:	[opens an envelope] (Inside the Actors Studio, Bravo Cable Network.)
Stan:	Oohhhh, huh, [he and Kyle start clapping] heh-heh-heh-hehh. [Cartman starts clapping]
Kyle:	Congratulations.
Cartman:	Yes. Very nice, very nice.
Stan:	[steps forward] Oh. He said the winner is Inside the Actors Studio, Bravo Cable Network.
	[End of Cable ACE Awards 1997.]